by Regan Ure
Inside, the party was going strong. We found a few of our other friends from class.
"What are you drinking?" one of them asked me, but after Taylor's drink being spiked, I was extra careful.
I followed him to the kitchen and got my own drink. While he went back to our group in the living room, I stood on the sidelines, scanning the room.
As I sipped my drink, my eyes met familiar light blue ones and I nearly spluttered. Not again. Across the room, leaning against the wall, stood Slater looking sexier than ever.
Instead of the usual cocky smirk I was used to receiving from him, I got still features devoid of any emotion. I swallowed as I realized why I was getting the cool look. He was probably still angry I had turned down his offer and as far as he knew I had slept with someone else.
I had the urge to tell him the truth, that I hadn't let it go that far with Steven, but then my self-preservation set in. If I did, he would know he still affected me and I couldn't let that happen. The last time I had shown him vulnerability he had stomped all over it and I was still trying to recover from it.
With all the willpower I possessed, I broke my eyes from his and continued to scan past him. I wouldn't allow him to see that the sight of him had quickened my pulse and sent my heart hammering in my chest.
I slowly scanned the rest of the room, not allowing my gaze to find him again once I was finished. Levi saw me and waved. I walked toward him, needing someone to hide beside.
"You having fun?" he asked before taking a swig of his beer.
"Yes," I lied. "And you?"
He smiled. "A little better than a dentist appointment."
My smile widened. "See? I told you."
He bumped my shoulder slightly with his and I giggled.
"Maybe it won't be so bad," he relented.
On the outside I was at ease but on the inside my thoughts were concentrated on Slater. I hadn't seen him with someone. Was he here with the girl who he'd taken out before?
It didn't matter, I told myself. His dating—no, correct that, because he didn't date—his screwing status had nothing to do with me. But I couldn't mistake the fact that, despite all my attempts, I did care.
Chapter Eight
I tried but there was no ignoring Slater. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on what Levi was telling me, I kept thinking of the tattooed boy who was somewhere at the party.
By my second drink I was feeling mellow, the alcohol taking effect and warming my blood.
Levi was enjoying himself. A couple of drinks were all it had taken to loosen him up and he dragged me onto the dance floor. We were bumping and grinding together, laughing as one song soon became another. There were a few girls who had their eyes on Levi and I knew it wouldn't be long before they started to circle him.
After I finished my second drink, I went to the bathroom. I checked my makeup and washed my hands before I left.
I smiled to myself when I spotted Levi talking to a pretty girl. Inside the kitchen, I bumped into Steven.
"Hi," I greeted him.
"Hey," he greeted back as he got himself a beer.
It was a little awkward.
"You look stunning." His eyes slid over me.
"Thanks." I kept my response short and I got myself a drink. It was only the two of us despite the house being packed.
"You with someone tonight?" Steven asked.
Should I lie? Was he trying to find out if I had moved on? It was strange. He didn't strike me as the type to hang around when a girl wasn't interested, so why was he asking?
I hesitated as his eyes held mine. There was a clear message that he was ready to pick up where we'd left off the last time I'd seen him.
"No," I said, telling him the truth. There was no point in lying as the truth always had a way of coming out anyway.
He walked closer. He was good-looking and he knew it. It was his confidence and the way he trailed his eyes over me that reminded me what had attracted me to him in the first place.
His hand snaked over the counter and touched mine. I looked down at his hand covering mine, and any doubt of what his intentions were went out the window.
"I came alone." My eyes lifted to his. Only after I'd spoken the words did I realize it sounded like an invitation.
I wanted to feel the same. It would be so easy to lean over and press my mouth to his. There was no risk of feeling more than I was prepared to for him. He would be the easier choice, but I couldn't. Instead of doing what my mind told me to do, I listened to my heart and I pulled my hand gently from his.
"I can't."
He retracted his hand but his eyes still held mine.
"Sorry," he said, giving me a slight smile. "You can't blame a guy for trying." And there was the player in him. "I was convinced that on our last date things would go further but I must have read it wrong."
No, he hadn't. That had been my intention.
"I'm sorry." I shrugged my shoulders.
He gave me one last look before he gave a slight inclination of his head and left me alone. I breathed in a deep breath, hating how I felt guilty for not being able to give him what he wanted.
Squaring my shoulders, I turned to leave but stopped. Slater filled the doorway. I faltered. Had he followed me?
"You seem to be having fun," he said as he stepped into the room.
The air around me evaporated and it was harder to breathe. He had a way of making everything else, including the music, disappear into the background.
My mother always told me of how she knew when she was in love. When she saw the guy who held her heart, nothing else mattered, only he existed. Was that what this was? Because I was pretty sure this tattooed bad boy standing there with a smirk on his face was the only thing that mattered at that moment.
He took another step forward and I resisted the instinct to step back, not allowing him to intimidate me.
I lifted my eyes and held his.
"I am," I lied. I had spent most of the evening wondering where he was. More importantly, if he was with someone else. "You?"
His confident smile grew and he closed the space between us. Suddenly, looking up at him, it became even harder to breathe.
"I am now."
I frowned. What had changed?
The first touch was his hand to my waist, and I didn't resist. It would have been like fighting against a tidal wave. My eyes dropped to where his hand tightened slightly.
The second touch was his hand that slid up the back of my neck. My eyes lifted to his again, waiting for his next move, and I knew what was coming but didn't fight it. The truth was I didn't want to.
The chemistry between us was electrifying. His gaze dropped briefly to my lips as I wetted my own with the sweep of my tongue. The third was when his mouth covered mine. My stomach flipped when his tongue swept into my mouth and caressed mine. He tasted of mint. My hands went to his neck. His kiss swept right through me and I held on as our kiss deepened, his tongue against mine.
Then, as quickly as it had started, it was over. He released me and stepped back. I swayed and held the counter behind me to keep from falling.
"Words can lie, actions don't." What the hell did that mean? My fingers went to my bruised lips. "You know where to find me when you're willing to be honest with yourself."
And with that he left me standing, slightly confused. I felt like I'd been on a merry-go-round and I was still trying to find the horizon on my unsteady legs. I didn't have long before someone walked in and I had to get myself together.
The rest of the night was a bust. I didn't see Slater again but after our intense connection in the kitchen, there was no sweeping what was going on between us under the carpet anymore. I was still so confused by his behavior. The last time I had seen him, he had told me there would be no chance with him once I had slept with Steven.
So if he believed there was still a chance something was going to happen, he had to be sure I hadn't done it.
"I don't want his seconds." T
hat's what he'd told me when I'd told him I was going to sleep with Steven.
"You okay?" Levi asked from beside me. I was lost in my thoughts.
"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."
"You want to share?" he asked. "I've been told I'm a good listener."
I wasn't one to reveal my innermost thoughts and I was still trying to figure out what was going on with Slater.
"It's depressing," I said, giving him a smile to ease the brush-off.
"Boy trouble?" he asked lightly, giving me a side-glance.
"When isn't it?" I said, giving him a hollow laugh.
"So tell me what's going on?"
I looked at him and studied him for a moment. "I'm trying to save myself the heartache of falling for the wrong guy."
There, I'd summed up my whole predicament in one sentence. I hadn't mentioned the magnetic attraction or how my world tilted when he touched me.
"From the looks of it, you're already there."
Could he be right? Had I already fallen? It was a sobering thought and it scared me. I sipped on the rest of my drink quietly as Levi sat beside me, watching some of the partygoers stumbling out of the house.
Later, he drove me back to my apartment.
"Thanks," I said just as I slid out of his car and shut the door.
"You're welcome."
I made a move to leave but he called my name. "Anytime you need someone to talk to, I'm here."
My heart filled with emotion. "Thanks."
"Your guy is lucky to have you."
I swallowed my emotion, giving him a nod before I turned and left.
Slater wasn't my guy. He didn't belong to anyone, and that was the problem.
I remembered his kiss and the feel of his hands on me. But despite all the warning lights going off, I knew this was something I couldn't resist any longer. Even knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I held on for another week before making the conscious decision that I was going to give in to my physical need for Slater.
* * *
It was Friday night and I was home alone. Surprisingly, Sin and Taylor had decided to go out for dinner, and Matthew had gone with them. It was the first time in a good long while I had the apartment to myself.
On the sofa with my feet propped up on the coffee table, dressed in my comfy clothes, I was eating popcorn. I popped another mouthful into my mouth as I contemplated my next move.
Should I go around to Slater's place unexpectedly? But then what if he had another girl there? The thought ruined my appetite and I placed the popcorn bowl on the table.
I could just imagine his smug look if I called him to tell him I wanted to see him. It was so frustrating—wanting him but not looking forward to the 'I told you so' I was going to get from him.
He had been so confident; it was annoying, but I did want him. There was that familiar tingle in my stomach at the thought of him, his strong hands holding me. It was hard to contain the desire to push through my pride and call him right now.
I glanced at my phone and checked for any missed calls or messages but there were none.
You know where to find me when you're willing to be honest with yourself. After what he'd said, there was no way he was going to come after me. I had been lying to myself, hoping I could change what would happen. I'd been a fool.
I would have to make the next move.
"Ugghh," I mumbled, putting my face into my hands. It was so frustrating.
I looked down at my holey 'couch potato' shirt that I loved so much and refused to throw out. My comfortable gray sweatpants weren't the ideal piece of clothing for seduction either.
Would he even be home tonight? I bit my fingernail as I tried to decide when to go to his house. Maybe the quicker I did this, the less painful the comeback from him would be. My mind was made up. It would have to be tonight.
I went into my room and opened my closet. I needed the right kind of outfit. My eyes trailed over most of my clothes before I slumped down on the bed, feeling a little disheartened.
There was an unexpected knock at the door. I ran my hands over my hair, trying to tame it. I wasn't expecting anyone.
I opened the door.
"Slater," I said, surprised to find him here.
"You didn't check before you opened the door," he said, shaking his head. "After everything that happened to Taylor, you would think you would have learned something."
I crossed my arms. "Are you done yet?"
"Yes."
He looked good, as always. That tingle in my stomach fluttered to life and I felt an excitement tremble through me.
"Sin isn't here," I offered, since I was pretty sure it was the reason he was standing outside my apartment.
"I'm not here for him," he admitted. "Can I come in?"
I nodded before standing back so he could enter. Still with my eyes on him, I closed the door and followed him into the living room.
"Why are you here?" I asked, needing his answer to ease the nervousness I was experiencing.
Did I want him to be here for me? Yes. I couldn't lie to myself.
"Have you made up your mind?" he asked, not answering my question.
"I asked my question first," I stubbornly reminded him, looking at him expectantly.
He closed the distance between us until we stood so close I could almost touch him.
"I got tired of waiting for you." And there it was. He was here for me.
"You're so sure of yourself." I couldn't resist that.
He smiled, that confident tip of his lips that made my stomach swirl. "When it comes to you, I am."
Our gazes held. The moment we had been hurtling toward since we had first met had arrived. It felt inevitable, like no matter what decision we'd made, this was the only outcome.
"I thought you didn't want Steven's seconds?" I had to know why he had changed his mind even though he still thought I had slept with Steven.
"I overheard him admitting to his friends that you had given him the brush-off before he had been able to seal the deal." Once a player, always a player. I couldn't say I was surprised.
So he knew I hadn't slept with Steven.
"Kiss me," he commanded, his voice husky. I was tired of fighting the attraction I felt for him. By coming here he had given me the easy way out. Making the move to obey him, I put my hands against his chest as I lifted myself up on my tiptoes to kiss him.
He kissed me so hard I felt my world shift. He was so powerful and overwhelming, all I could do was hold on. His mouth was hot and hard against mine. I held on to him, needing him to finish what we'd started weeks ago. I pushed the memory from my mind, not wanting anything to ruin this moment with him.
He broke away from me slightly. My hands still held his shirt as I looked up at him.
"Is this what you want?" he asked. I was still breathing hard, my pulse racing.
I nodded.
"Say it," he instructed, his voice hoarse. His eyes held mine, determined. The physical attraction was affecting him as much as it was me. Both of us would not escape this unscathed.
But I still hoped I could protect my heart. The only way to do that would be to view this as physical and nothing more. Even though I did care for him, I couldn't allow myself to read more into his actions. He wanted sex with me. That was it, and if I wanted to be able to walk away from this when it was over, without heartbreak, I had to remember that. I was fighting for my survival.
"I want you."
He tugged me in the direction of my room. When he entered and saw all my clothes dumped on my bed, he turned to face me, his hand still loosely holding mine.
"Were you going out?" he asked. I saw a glimpse of something in him before the shutters came down to hide his emotions.
"I was going to go over to your house and I wanted to wear something nice."
He smiled at me, his eyes sweeping over me.
"I think you look nice now."
"I look like a frump." It was honest.
"You look sexy,"
he continued. His eyes settled on my breasts, and they tightened at the heat of his gaze.
"Are you wearing a bra?" I shook my head.
He reached out and touched my nipple lightly through the fabric. The sensation vibrated through me, pooling between my thighs. I held still.
"Take it off."
I hesitated, struggling to ignore the feelings of rejection.
"If you're having second thoughts, we can stop," he offered. I swallowed, trying to ease my dry throat.
"No," I assured him. "Just…don't call me baby," I told him, remembering what had set off my emotional meltdown the last time. He studied me for a few moments before he nodded in acceptance of my request.
Usually I made it clear before things got too intimate with a guy that I didn't like to be called baby. For some reason I had forgotten with Slater. Being close to him made it hard to think.
My hands went to the hem of my shirt and I lifted it up before discarding it on the floor.
"So beautiful," he murmured, cupping one breast. I closed my eyes while I reveled in his touch.
I felt the warmth of his mouth enclose my nipple and suck. My hands went to his head, raking into his hair and keeping him fixed where he was.
When his mouth moved upward, I opened my eyes as his lips covered mine. Strong arms embraced me, and my hands snaked around his neck and pulled him closer to me. His tongue caressed mine, the warmth between my thighs heating.
I reached for the bottom of his shirt and lifted it. He shook it off. The sight of his muscled chest with the tattooed sleeve was so hot. He swept my clothes off my bed, dumping them on the floor. Strong and in control, just the way I liked my men.
He lay me down on the bed as he pulled the sweatpants from my body. I was naked except for my underwear. His eyes held mine.
"Perfect." That one word brought the emotions out in me and I had to swallow hard. No one had ever used that word to describe me.
He undid his jeans and dropped them to the floor before he knelt beside me on the bed. The rest of our items of clothing came off in heated kisses. He stopped long enough to roll on protection before settling his body over mine, his hips matched to mine. Our bodies perfectly lined up.
