14. Psychology Today
On Sunday morning I woke up first, and went down to make breakfast. I had to work the dinner shift at The Keg, but Sundays were my lazy day. Chloë and I usually spent it together. We might stroll down to the Kingston farmer’s market, search out garage sales, or shop along Princess Street. As I got out the eggs, Rex rubbed up against my legs, hoping for treats. He enjoyed having a whole house to prowl, but if I went in the kitchen he was there in a flash.
“Mornin’ Frank.” Chloë had only one eye open, and she was wearing cotton Hello Kitty pajamas.
“Good morning!” Today was my turn to be bright and chipper. She sat down at the kitchen table and I slipped a black coffee in front of her. Chloë had three sips, two yawns and then was awake.
“So, how did it go at the birthday party?”
“Well, the place was nice and the food was incredible. The cottage turned out to be this gorgeous old farmhouse, completely redone in modern country, not my style, but it worked. The food was catered, with all these incredible hot and cold entrées. And a beautiful, multi-tiered, vanilla birthday cake. I think Mrs. Fitz enjoyed it all immensely.”
I popped the buttermilk waffles out of the waffle maker I had bought at a garage sale last weekend and scoured thoroughly. The fresh fruit salad, maple syrup and bacon were already on the table. I sat down across from Chloë.
“Hmm, you haven’t mentioned anything about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”
“Well, he works for this big investment firm in Toronto. He did his undergrad degree here at Queen’s, his MBA in Toronto, and he’s already a vice-president. He spent a year studying in Italy, and he actually knows a lot about art history too. But I think he might be a little too confident, too pushy.”
“Really?” Chloë blinked, then ate some waffle and chewed for a moment. “So what happened?”
“He made a pass at me five minutes into the party! He behaved himself afterwards, but I don’t know. I don’t feel completely comfortable with him. Maybe I’m snake bit.”
“Gosh,” said Chloë. “So, he’s out?”
I sighed, it wasn’t like nice-looking guys were growing on trees around here. “I might give him one more chance. But he lives in Toronto, so it wasn’t really going to work anyway.”
“It’s probably for the best anyway,” she replied, smiling happily. “You should play the field, and date different guys.”
“Hmmm. Does this have to do with the whole ‘two best friends dating two best friends’ thing again?”
“Noooo. But I went out with Andrew and his friends last night, and I thought that Jake was really nice. And he was alone, so that girl you saw with him was only a date and not a girlfriend or anything.”
“Chlo, it’s very sweet that you think we could all double date and have a wonderful life together, but it’s not going to happen. I have a checklist, and Jake is not hitting anything on the list.”
“A list? You still have that checklist for the perfect man? Oh Frankie, not really!”
“Yes, he has to have a university education, be really good at something, and be very attractive.” Liam actually met all the criteria, which made me more certain I should go on another date with him.
Chloë wasn’t giving up. “Okay, maybe Jake hasn’t gone to university, but I’m sure he’s a smart guy. And he plays in the NHL, you can’t be better at stuff than that. And he’s cute.”
“Cute, really? Were you wearing your contacts?” Was Chloë on commission here? “Plus he’s unreliable, he didn’t pick up his cupcakes when he was supposed to.”
“You’re the one who told me all guys are unreliable. At least Jake lives in Kingston. And I think he’s very popular, lots of girls seem to like him, but he’s nice to everyone.”
“Wow, did he pay you to say all this? Anyway, I’m sure there are other great guys in Kingston,” I said, then hesitated. I hadn’t met them yet, but I figured there must be some hidden somewhere, hopefully not in one of the penitentiaries here.
Chloë shook her head, “It’s a pretty small town when all the Queen’s students leave. Look, at least give Jake a try….”
“Maybe we can all do something as friends, but I’m not dating him.”
She wasn’t the only one who was stubborn around here.
That night, I was working at The Keg again when Jake walked in, this time with a tall, slim blonde. What was he trying to prove here? I got that he was in demand, due no doubt to his NHL status, but there’s a line between player and man-slut. The hostess seated them at a large booth in my area, and then his date went to the washroom. I walked over to the table.
“Good evening, Jake.”
“Hey Frankie, how’s it going?” Jake grinned innocently up at me.
“I’m fine, but you’re a busy boy aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“A redhead Friday, a blonde Sunday, I didn’t work last night, so was that brunette night?”
“Brunette night is when you agree to go out with me,” Jake suggested smoothly.
“Yeah right, I prefer my dates a little less….” Was the word promiscuous too long for him? “…popular.”
The blonde came back, slid into the booth and smiled at me.
“Oh Frankie, I’d like you to meet my sister, Angela.”
His sister? Was this a joke, because if there were ever two people who looked less alike it was these two? She was slim, blonde and pretty. Just then three more people came to the table: two women with dark hair who looked like Jake except pretty, one older and one younger; and a middle-aged man with graying hair. Obviously Jake’s family, and obviously I was a total idiot. Why did I always end up embarrassed when Jake was around? He was smirking as he introduced me to his parents as well as his other sister, Nicola. I managed to stop blushing long enough to welcome them properly and take their drink orders. After some small talk, I escaped to get their drinks.
Jake
“So, who’s this Frankie?” my mom asked as soon as Frankie had gone to put our dinner orders in.
“She’s a friend, I met her at the gym,” I replied.
“When you say friend, is that a special “friend”?” My mom made air quotes and gave me an eager look.
“No, Mom, I don’t know her very well.”
My mom sighed, it was one of her pet peeves that she never got to meet any of my girlfriends. To be honest, I hadn’t really had a steady girlfriend since junior, and I was pretty sure that my mom didn’t want to meet one of my hook-ups. There were just too many possibilities out there, and I didn’t want to get tied down. But that didn’t stop my mom from wondering if there were any “nice girls” in L.A., if there were I hadn’t met them when I hit the bars. And now that I was home, she was even more interested in my personal life, constantly mentioning the daughters of her friends or girls she met that might be possibilities. I was pretty sure that what I wanted in a girlfriend and what she wanted were completely different. For starters, I didn’t think that cup size was one of her prerequisites.
“Relax Mom, I’d be more shocked if there was an attractive girl in Kingston that Jake didn’t already know.” Angela shook her head and winked at me.
“Our waitress is cute,” Nicola commented, watching Frankie at the bar. “You should go for it. Certainly a step up from Bitcheny.” No surprise that she already knew who I had taken out on Friday, and that she didn’t like it. Nicola was two years older than me, and had been in Brittany’s class.
Nicola was home for the summer from college, and Angela was visiting for the May long weekend from her job in Toronto. We had spent most of the day at a big family get-together at my grandparent’s place, and then decided to go out for dinner afterwards. I didn’t intend to show up at The Keg again, but my mom knew it was one of my favourite places to eat. The food was good and seeing Frankie was just a bonus. Her friend, Chloë, had hinted that Frankie needed help to get over some jerk. That might explain why she was so touchy. She acted like a tiger, and that made
me think she’d be a tiger in the sack too.
Angela snorted. “Oh Nic, you’re as big a sap as Mom. Jake’s not the commitment type. I’m not expecting to see a real girlfriend until he’s 30.”
I wasn’t getting involved in this conversation, having two older sisters was like having three moms. Frankie came up to the table at that moment and passed out our drinks with a big smile. She took our dinner orders and then sashayed away with her usual efficiency. Man, she had a great ass.
Once I got home from the Keg, Tolly and Andrew came over to hang. We were in our basement, playing some throwback NHL ‘94. That is, Tolly and I were gaming and Andrew was mooning over Chloë.
“She’s into Firefly. And she likes anime and manga too. Plus she’s so cute. It’s like she was put on this planet to be my soul mate.”
“You know, you guys have only gone out twice. Maybe you should hold off planning the wedding until the third date,” Tolly suggested.
“I don’t know, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl.” Andrew had this dumb smile on his face. In fact, he seemed to have it all the time lately.
Tolly snorted, “Yeah, number one, she said yes to going out with you. Are you sure it’s not all part of this bet she’s got going with her friend? Oh shit!” Tolly had lost focus while talking and I put one in over Belfour’s shoulder.
“You mean Frankie? No I don’t think so. Chloë told me it was all part of her idea that they needed to date new and different people. But that was only the first date, the second was all her choice.” Andrew looked over at me.
It still bugged me that I had missed the short window of time that Frankie had to say yes to going out with me. I seemed to have asked her out right before and right after their big bet. Well, her loss. “Y’know, I just don’t get why you’d want to tie yourself down to one girl when there are so many hot chicks out there.”
“That’s easy for you to say, underwear seems to be dropping at the mention of your NHL career.” Andrew replied and then paused for a moment. “Still, doesn’t that ever bother you?
“Underwear dropping doesn’t ever bother me.” I came in late, hit the one-timer and broke the glass. “Boom!” I yelled. We had developed a special points system and glass-breaking was a bonus score.
“No, c’mon Jake. I mean, take Brittany Allison for example. In high school she wouldn’t even talk to you and now she’s ready to put out on the first date, just because you’re a big deal hockey player. Doesn’t that seem wrong?” Trust Andrew to be all insightful, even if I didn’t want to go there.
“Nope. It’s like I got a good job and now I’m successful, same as anyone else.”
“You’ve changed.” Andrew sounded sad.
I realized I was frowning. “Okay, I get what you mean and maybe it bothers me a little. But what can I do? It’s my life and most guys would kill for it.”
To me it was just another reason not to get tied down, and every chick knew what was going on when we went out. No big commitments and no emotional crap. I used to be kind of sensitive, but you couldn’t be all soft and still function in pro hockey. Shit happens and you have to harden up.
15. Friendzone
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see some baggy black gym shorts standing right beside my weight bench. I closed my eyes, finished my set of bench presses, put the bar back and then looked up.
“Oh hey, Jake.”
Of course. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually cloned, since he seemed to be everywhere.
“Hi Frankie, need a spotter?” He looked relaxed and half-asleep despite the fact it was after 3:00 pm.
“No, I’m good.” I sat up. “What’s up with you?”
“Well, Brad suggested that we should hook up.”
“He did?” I found that incredible since Brad was all business.
“Heh heh, I mean, in the gym. That we should work out together.”
“You don’t focus enough,” I told him. I did some shoulder rolls and his eyes dropped to my chest. For crying out loud, between Brad and Chloë, I needed to get this settled once and for all. “Actually, I don’t mind working out with you, on two conditions.”
“Shoot.”
“One, when we work out, we work out hard.” I was pretty sure that having a partner would push me to work out harder, and I liked to change things up occasionally to keep my workouts productive.
“Sure. I can do it, I just don’t do it all the time. I need a little recovery time after the season ends.”
“When did your season end?”
“I dunno, April?”
“It’s almost June now. I’m pretty sure that’s enough time to recover.”
“Whatever. What’s number two?”
I looked him straight in the eye. “Jake, I hear you’re a nice guy and I don’t know you that well but so far, you’re… okay.” He smiled at this. “But I think we should be friends. That’s how I see things going for us. And if that’s okay with you, we can hang out at the gym or socially or whenever.”
He looked completely puzzled. “So when you say friends, is that like friends with benefits?”
“Nope. Friends without benefits. I’d be a buddy, just like your guy friends.”
Jake started laughing, “There is no way you’re like a guy.”
I laughed along with him. I thought that this whole conversation was going pretty well. If he stopped hitting on me, we could get along fine.
Jake
“Just friends? What the fuck does it mean when a girl wants to be just friends?”
I was hanging out with Andrew and Tolly, we met up with some high school buds for a pickup soccer game and now we were back at Tolly’s place to watch the Cup finals and have pizza and beer.
Tolly started laughing, “Mr. Hot-Shit-Hockey got rejected! It means no, nyet, nein. Adios, bye-bye, sayonara.”
I interrupted his language lesson. “No, but after that she set up all these times for us to get together.” Frankie had brought out her little notebook and figured out exact times for us to meet at the gym. It was like she said no and then she said yes.
“I guess it means she just wants to be friends,” Andrew suggested.
“Thanks, Einstein. That’s something that doesn’t happen to me. It’s more like the opposite, chicks want to sleep with me first and then have a big relationship.”
“Which you never want,” Tolly laughed. “You just wanna hit it and quit it.”
“It’s not like that, I like talking to chicks, hanging out with them. I’m just not into having a steady girlfriend. I like to hang out with my buddies and I don’t want to have to feel guilty. Maybe someday, but this boy’s too young for all that committed crap.”
“Tolly has a girlfriend, and he comes out with us all the time.” Andrew pointed out.
“Depends on the girl,” Tolly said smugly, “Naomi’s the independent type, and I do what I want. You don’t want a clingy chick, that’d be death.”
“I presume it’s Frankie we’re talking about here,” Andrew guessed.
“Yeah. Shit, I saw her at the gym today and I was talking to her about us possibly working out together. Then she told me she’d be happy to hang out with me, but y’know, just as friends.”
“It’s the kiss of death, man.” Tolly started talking in this high voice, “Oh Jake, you’re like a brother to me, so I could never have sex with you!” He was laughing like a madman, and then recovered enough to lecture me some more. “Just friends, that’s always the girl’s idea and the guy hangs around hoping she’ll change her mind or maybe get shit-faced enough to accidentally sleep with him.”
Tolly kept laughing, but when I thought about it he was right. I had seen that happen more than a few times. Maybe that would work with Frankie. She had certainly looked pretty fucking hot at the gym today, in her little yoga pants and her stretched-out tank top.
Andrew was always positive. “Maybe you’d like having a girl for a friend. When’s the last time you had one?”
&nb
sp; “I dunno, grade three?”
One morning I woke up and realized happily that I seemed to be fully over Matt. Moving to Kingston had been a brilliant idea, I didn’t have to constantly see all the places and people that I associated with my ex and I was able to move on quite easily. I found myself interested in dating again and actively checking out any attractive guys that crossed my path.
Naturally it wasn’t easy to find cute, single guys around here. I hadn’t heard from Liam again, and Jake was the only other guy to ask me out. When I looked around, I saw… nothing. Any possible guys I had met seemed strangely uninterested, so maybe they had girlfriends.
I’d just have to carry on, and see what dating possibilities popped up. With two jobs, I was busy enough, and I kept my focus on making money and having fun with Chloë. I worked out a couple of times with Jake and it went really well. He was surprisingly on-task, and I liked following his program for a change. Of course he was way stronger than me, but we could use different weights and do the same reps or use machines. I knew that he did his serious workouts with Brad, so our workouts were more like maintenance for him but they were heavy-duty for me and I was pretty sore afterwards. But good sore.
One day Jake walked into the café just after lunch and I greeted him and we chatted a little about hockey. The Stanley Cup finals were on and that was all over the newspapers and TV. Naturally Chloë and I had forgotten all about the finals and we were wondering why it was quieter than usual when we went to the bookstore last night. But I didn’t confess that part.
Suddenly, a phony Mexican accent floated out. “Holy guacamole, I theenk our boy has brought a beeeg burrito for meee!”
No Frankie, do not laugh, do not look down. Do not look down.
“A Diet Coke, right?”
“Yeah,” he said and then he moved away from the counter and looked over into the case, giving me the full body view.
How The Cookie Crumbles Page 8
