by Abby Ayles
* * *
“I am pretty sure it is the only way. No lady wants the true man. They want the title, status, and they expect the man attached is their ideal Duke. You must do the same though. Certainly, you find yourself acting vastly different between casual and public settings?”
* * *
“Not at all, I must confess, Your Grace. I don’t know if I would like myself much if I was ashamed to show it in public,” Lady Louisa said in honesty.
* * *
She supposed the Duke must have taken her words as a slight since his eyes seemed to narrow down on her. She, in fact, was just speaking the truth of her nature. She was a plain shy girl and no matter her circumstance she had long since learned that hiding her person was not a worthy cause.
* * *
“I would have excepted someone of your sex to understand my meaning, but perhaps not. Is it not true that a woman’s whole existence involves putting on a different face than the one God gave? For certainly that must be what the hours of embellishing is for. Not to mention the accurate uses of coy language all in the hopes to ensnaring one's goal.”
* * *
“I beg your pardon, Your Grace, but I no more speak coyly than I do embellish. Perhaps you have a wrong idea of the female sex, or are in the market for a lesser breed.”
* * *
“Do you think so highly of yourself then? Too good for the tactics used for hundreds of years by your foremothers?” He shot back.
* * *
“I neither think highly of myself, Your Grace, nor do I lower my standards to that of superficial and the lies of allusion.”
* * *
The song was finally coming to an end. She was very disappointed to learn the true character of the Duke. At this moment he seemed no better than Miss Elisabeth. Clearly, he was just as manipulative and deceitful to show a mask before the whole in order to trick a lady to his end goal.
* * *
“I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, Your Grace, but I fear this is where we must part ways. I don’t think I would be much help to a gentleman who insists on presenting a lie.”
* * *
The Duke’s mouth opened in shock at her accusation.
* * *
His eyes grew cold and hard as he looked down at her.
* * *
“I believe that must be for the best. I dare say I could not find company in someone so critical.”
* * *
“Honesty may be critical, but it is still that, honest,” she shot back with more vigor than she normally had.
* * *
He was truly irritating to her. How he could live such a duplicitous life with one seeming so deceitful and the other so enjoyable was unimaginable to her. Perhaps it was the folly of a handsome member of the ton to feel the need to be so conniving. It indeed was the case for Miss Elisabeth.
* * *
For the first time in her life, Lady Louisa saw her plain, humble features a blessing in her life. It may have caused her years of torment in her youth. It may have robbed her of any chance of making a match herself. But at the very least, it pushed her through the fire and brimstone of life. She had been molded into a better lady for it, known who she was, who she was not, and no need to pretend for the sake of others.
* * *
The Duke of Rowland was utterly thrown by the woman before him. She seemed so hypocritical in his eyes. Being a lady of society in itself proved that she behaved just as he was this night. In fact, it was how any human being acted.
* * *
Certainly, every person in the world catered their attitude to fit the company they were presented with. She, however, had gone even lower than that. She had lied about her identity altogether when they first met.
* * *
That would certainly warrant more vicious words than his behavior.
* * *
At the beginning of the dance, he had been encircled with such high admiration for Lady Louisa. Now he was seeing her in a new light. She was just as pompous as all the other ladies he was required to choose from.
* * *
As the dance finished, he bid her a final good evening without so much as a soft glance, and she scarcely did the same before he deposited her back at her aunt’s side. He suspected that Lady Hendrickson was eager for him to stay and chat with her a while and in truth, he probably should have for politeness sake.
* * *
He was in rather a cross mood. He had a feeling it had less to do with his anger kindled against the lady than his pride wounded. She had pointed out a fact that had already been an irritant to him.
* * *
He despised the mask he was required to parade around in. It was one of the single most reasons why he had stayed away from England for so long. Naturally, they had first left in his early boyhood so that he could gain some experiences of the world.
* * *
In his young age, however, he had already experienced much of the duplicitous nature of those around him. They seemed only to say the things he wanted to hear. It was infuriating that he couldn’t possibly trust anyone outside his uncle, or his close friend Jasper, for the truth.
* * *
Perhaps it was just the fact that it was a lady that had spoken words that he was not expecting in a place such as this, or perhaps it was because it was a woman he could not quite understand completely. He knew deep down that her words were the truth, however, and ones he would have spoken himself had he see it in another.
* * *
None the less the hurt pride was too much to forgive this night. He didn’t stay to speak with Lady Louisa or her aunt, but instead excused himself promptly.
Chapter 13
Lady Louisa was right to the fact that he would not be short partners this night. In fact, he wasn’t entirely sure he had ever been pressed upon to dance by so many matrons with single daughters ever before.
* * *
With each false smile a lady flashed at him or shallow conversation, he only saw the reflection of his own shallowness. It was very off-putting and made it very difficult for him to seem to at least enjoy himself.
* * *
“Something is bothering you, Rowland,” his uncle said from his side as the Duke took a moment to refresh himself with some punch.
* * *
The room had seemed to squeeze even more people in though it scarcely seemed possible at the beginning of the dance. The continuous dancing mingling with the warmth of bodies was starting to turn the tent into a hothouse.
* * *
“Nothing at all Uncle,” Rowland lied.
* * *
“Well, I do hope you are better at convincing ladies of love than that.”
* * *
“Why try to convince someone else of what one doesn’t feel. Would it not be better to give up this whole charade and wait for the real thing to come along.”
* * *
“My dear nephew, please take the advice of an old man. All love is, is a charade.”
* * *
“Even my own parents?” Rowland asked with a raised brow.
* * *
He spent his whole childhood begging his uncle to give any detail about his parents since their death. Being a boy of such a young age, he had so few of his own memories of them. His uncle had painted a picture of good and honorable people that cared for each other.
* * *
“You are not a boy any longer,” his uncle said with a bit of hesitation. “They were good people your mother and your father. Their marriage, however, was not one of choice but an obligation. They made the best of it as most do.”
* * *
“I had no idea,” the Duke said before settling into his own thoughts this brought about.
* * *
“I am sure they found joy in each other, however. If they could have lived longer, I am sure other siblings would have come about as well.”
* * *
Rowland rolled his eyes. Why is
it that affection and intimacy always were one in the same. In James Vaughan’s mind, the only type of love was the physical kind. It was also why he had never found a permanent companion of his own.
* * *
Relationships based solely on physicality were never destined to go very far at all. His uncle had settled into this mentality of shallow quick romances in any country they might be. That was partly the reason why it came as such a shock that his uncle suggested and strongly insisted on their current venture.
* * *
Rowland had fancied the two of them living the rest of their days much how they had the first twenty-six years of his life. It had been fun, energetic, care-free, and without the added weight of a spouse giving her opinion on matters.
* * *
Though Rowland didn’t see relationships in the same light as his uncle, he also didn’t see the necessity of finding one. Perhaps there was a chance for actual love out there for him, but why waste his time looking for it when there was so much more he could be doing.
* * *
The night finally ended and, other than the blip with Lady Louisa, it went without any defect. He made the acquaintance of several young ladies all amply ready to be married. He was preferably in the hope that some sort of arrangement might be made with one of them perhaps.
* * *
Choosing a bride out of country ladies and untitled gentleman’s daughters meant they would be more willing to go along with any arrangement he set all for the sake of his title. It wasn’t like he had a terrible idea in mind.
* * *
After all, if his uncle was going to force his hand in marriage, it would make sense to do so in a way most convenient to him.
* * *
If he could find an agreeable lady to wed, she would stay at Bassen Park and he would be free to travel as he pleased like before. Naturally, the time would come first to produce an heir. Once that was taken care of, however, he would return to his old life. She would stay and take care of the heir.
* * *
It was a win for both of them. It would mean little change in his own ways, except for the years necessary to produce an heir, and she would get the fortune and prestige that she was searching for.
* * *
He had hope that the Lady Louisa would have been a willing friend in his search. She would have been a necessary companion in the task to help him weed out the women most willing to take him up on his offer. Apparently, she would no longer be a part of the equation.
* * *
He thought of her again at his morning meal the following day. She was such a vexing conundrum to him. Though she was no great beauty in looks like her cousins, she still had her own pleasant look about her that he rather enjoyed. She seemed so simple and straightforward.
* * *
But then there was that other confusing side of her. First, she chose to lie at their first meeting. Rowland had assumed it was purely over embarrassment. After all, he had assumed her to be of a lower class. In a way, Rowland supposed that whole situation had been a making of his own actions.
* * *
But then there was that irritating conversation they had the night before at the public dance. She had seemed so cross with his manners. How else did she expect him to behave in such a setting? He had a name and title to think of and represent in a way that would bring respect to his predecessors.
* * *
“Lost in thought over there, old chap?” a voice aroused Rowland from his thinking.
* * *
He looked over to see his companion at the breakfast table looking at him with a raised brow of interest.
* * *
“Perhaps it was a lady from last night that has finally caught your attention?” Colonel Jasper suggested.
* * *
“Well, she certainly caught my attention, but not in the way you were thinking.”
* * *
“And who would that be. Let me guess. The very Lovely Miss Elisabeth. I know Lady Hendrickson is very set on you finding your way to her eldest daughter.
* * *
“No, actually I was thinking of Lady Louisa. She said some cross words to me last night while dancing.”
* * *
“Cross? Really? Now I’ve only spent a couple of afternoons and conversations with her, but I never quite pictured her the cross type.”
* * *
Rowland looked over at his friend surprised by his words. Jasper was much older than him, perhaps by eight years. They had only shared a few years in school at the same time, but they had grown quick friends over it. Like himself, Jasper had never married. It wasn’t for lack of desire but lack of opportunity and the ability to support a wife.
* * *
Rowland had been happy to sponsor his friend's commission as an officer. Even still the early years as a militiaman didn’t offer much by way of wages. On top of that, it was a job with considerable travel. These were both in opposition to finding his own happiness.
* * *
“She said I was putting on a very Lord like show in much more words than that.”
* * *
“Well, were you not?”
* * *
“Of course I was. I’m supposed to be. It is what is expected of me. It comes with the title.”
* * *
“Perhaps she didn’t mean it in an insulting way; you only took it so,” he suggested.
* * *
“You seem to be defending her very determinately,” Rowland retorted. “Your Lady Louisa claimed that I was behaving in a way as to hide my true personality all in hopes to trick one of her female companions into finding me agreeable.”
* * *
“Well, were you?” Jasper cut to the quick.
* * *
“Of course not, I mean not really. I mean, you know how it is,” Rowland said with irritating gestures of my hands. “I do have to behave a certain way in public, that is just the way things are. I have certain expectations put on me. Of course, I also would want to put my best foot forward when meeting several ladies that could have potential. I’m not going to flaunt my worst traits in such a situation.”
* * *
“Like how you pick at your cuticles or your atrocious handwriting,” Jasper teased.
* * *
Rowland rolled his eyes.
* * *
“I’m just saying, I might have been putting my best foot forward, but she accused me of altering myself altogether to deceive and create an allusion of lies,” he added quoting her words exaggeratedly. “Perhaps you were,” Jasper retorted with a shrug.
* * *
“Now I know for certain you are on her side.”
* * *
“My dear friend, when it comes between you and a pleasant Lady I will always choose the latter. Besides,” he said with a laugh, “the Henry Vaughan I knew from days past would have never even tried to put on a mask before ladies. In fact, he would have made fun of those who did so in his presence.”
* * *
“Yes, well that Henry Vaughan was a kid and not the Duke of Rowland. Now I must play the game as good as any other. I need to get the wife and the heir so that I can go back to my own life. The sooner it gets done the better.”
* * *
“My dear friend,” Jasper said setting aside his plate of boiled eggs and toast. “If you actually think you can go back to your old life you are sadly mistaken. What I wouldn’t give to be in your shoes. I would happily find a woman to love and spend my days with her.”
* * *
“You apparently already have in Lady Louisa,” Rowland responded in a teasing fashion.
* * *
“Actually, I might already have in another form. I rather hoped you would help me with that, old chap.”
* * *
“Happy to help,” Rowland said interested to hear the name of his friend's interest.
* * *
“As we said Lady Hendrickson is most interested in you mar
rying her daughter Miss Elisabeth.”
