by Jayne Blue
My skin felt raw and reddened when I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my body. Gordon had moved to the end of the bed and looked at me with his wide, green, luminous eyes. I sank next to him and buried my cheek into the soft fur of his back. He purred and rolled to his side, looking for a belly rub.
“We’re fucked, Gordon. Did you know that?” He pawed at the air but his lids had already grown heavy. In another few seconds, he’d be snoring.
I was bone tired, every muscle in my body felt as if it had been stretched taut. Still, sleep wouldn’t come. Hours ticked by and the stars faded as sunlight rose. The only blessing about the events that had just unfolded was the timing. I’d finished my last class two days ago. I only had one online exam and a paper to hand in by the end of the week and the semester was done. As I figured out my next move, at least this shit with Junior couldn’t mess up that part of my life.
Turning on my side to stare out the window, I weighed my options. Going back to Cups was out of the question. Never mind my own revulsion to working for Junior for one more second, there was a good chance he’d be charged with murder. It wasn’t just my life my statement had blown up. I felt terrible for Nikki, Kirsten, Marcus, and some of the other people I worked with.
I could stay in Port Azrael with the money I had saved for about six more weeks. But did I want to stay? Had those few horrible minutes in that alley soured everything about it for good? I could find another job but I’d have to count on probably half the money I made at Cups or less. I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent here past August. My head pounded at the other option barreling toward me like a freight train.
I could go back to Michigan for the summer. The thought of it made bile rise in my throat. Could I stomach my parents’ drama for three months to save up the money to come back to Texas? In theory, I supposed I could. But something else nagged at me. I knew how this worked. If I went back, even if I had the best intentions to leave again, it would be ten times harder to break free than the first time.
The tears finally came. They’d won. Everyone had been right. I didn’t belong here. Maybe everything they’d thrown in my face that last night before I packed up to go had been true. I couldn’t make it without them. I was too much a part of them. Ballards don’t leave.
“No!” Gordon, startled, jumped off the bed. I threw a pillow across the room and started pacing in front of the bed.
“No,” I said more softly. “I’m not going back. I’m not letting Junior DiSalvo or anyone else take my life away from me.”
I grabbed a fresh pair of workout shorts and pulled on one of my Texas A&M t-shirts. Though I hated it, running always cleared my head. I’d walk the four blocks down to the beach and let the Gulf air do its magic.
Gordon stared at me from beneath the nightstand, giving me a traitorous look. I reached down and scratched his head. I grabbed my phone off the charger. As usual, I had several missed texts and calls. Two were from my mother, one was from Detective Langley. He’d left a voicemail. I hit the playback button.
“Miss Ballard. I just wanted to check in with you to make sure you were all right. You were understandably shaken up last night. I do need you to do me a favor. I’m going to need you to stay in town for the next few days as we conduct our investigation. I promise I won’t involve you any more than necessary, but we might need a more detailed statement from you. Videotaped, preferably. Call me when you feel more settled and I can answer any questions you might have. Take care.”
My stomach flipped as he clicked off. My mother’s messages were her usual guilt trip about me coming back home. God. If she knew what was going on, there was a good chance she’d send my army of brothers out here to drag me back kicking and screaming.
I was just about to toss the phone onto the bed and leave it there when it vibrated in my hand. A number came up that I didn’t recognize. I almost didn’t answer, but curiosity got the better of me.
“Hello?”
There was a pause. A wrong number, maybe? My heart fluttered when he finally spoke.
“Maya.” Axle’s deep, gravelly voice heated my blood. My knees buckled and I sank to the bed.
“Good morning,” was all I managed to say.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
How could he sense me falling apart from two simple words? I hesitated, searching for the right words to say.
“It’s been a long night. But I’m good.”
“I need to see you,” he said, his tone commanding.
Tears sprang instantly. Until this moment, I hadn’t realized how well a job I’d done holding it together. Now that I had Axle and his strong presence on the other end of the line, I wanted nothing more than to sink into his solid arms and forget about everything but the feel of his lips against my skin. That sensible part of me rang tiny warning bells inside my head.
Don’t do this. Don’t go to him when you’re this needy.
“I need to see you too.” I ignored the sensible part of me. God help us both.
“I’m on my way,” he said. “Meet me on the sidewalk outside your apartment building. I’ll be there in two minutes.”
It meant he was already on his way. He hung up the phone before I could even give him a definite answer. I laced my tennis shoes as quickly as I could and darted outside. I hadn’t even hit the parking lot pavement before I heard the familiar roar of Axle’s Harley.
He was waiting for me, sitting tall and strong in his seat, the sunlight reflecting off his aviator glasses. My heart lifted as I ran for him and climbed behind him, losing myself in the soft leather against my cheek as I wrapped my arms around him. He took my breath away as he revved the engine and sped away from the curb. In the warm glow of the Texas morning sun, Axle Hart felt like salvation.
Chapter 11
Axle
Every breath Maya took as she pressed her cheek against my back stabbed through me. I tightened my grip on the handlebars as we whipped along the coast. The emerald-green waters were calm today during low tide.
She trusted me. She shouldn’t have. Not from the moment she first laid eyes on me. But she did. Maya was pure and perfect. She was all the things I knew I shouldn’t want or couldn’t have. She was light and bright sun. I lived in the darkness. I had always lived in the darkness. Whatever made me think I could step out into the sun, even for one moment?
Bear’s words burned through me. Junior was weak. If he caught heat from the Feds or even the local boys, there was no telling what he might say or do to get out of it. He’d try to protect his family. That’s the only part of this I couldn’t fault him for. But he’d do it at the expense of mine. Junior was a fuck-up. He was the worst kind of idiot, one who didn’t realize the depths of his own stupidity. He thought the world owed him something. Gino had never made him work for anything his whole, worthless life. Now none of that mattered. It was too late. That fucking kid Cory laid on a slab because Junior couldn’t control his anger long enough to let us do what his family paid us for.
God. Maya. Even in that grainy still from the security camera, I could see the terror in her eyes. She wasn’t used to this kind of darkness and she’d unwittingly stepped right in it. If only she’d come to me first. Our contact at the PAPD called while she was still in the detective’s office giving a statement. Fuck. She’d set a chain of events in motion she couldn’t possibly understand. Maya lived in the light. She thought she’d done the right thing. Only none of it would matter because Junior DiSalvo was untouchable. Maya wasn’t.
I rode fast and hard outside of town. My brain was on autopilot. I hadn’t even fully thought out where I was taking her. As if not thinking about this would make it any easier. I had evil inside of me and now it had to touch her.
Maya tightened her grip around my waist. Even as acid rose in my throat from the reality of what I’d been sent to do, a twin emotion rose right alongside it. I felt her sweet thighs pressed against my ass. Her warmth flowed through me. The memory of how good she’d tasted whe
n I kissed her made my dick twitch.
She said something, shouting into the air at my back. I couldn’t hear her over the wind. I accelerated through a sharp curve, loving the feel of her thighs clenched as she held on tighter. We were miles outside of Port Azrael, not too far from the stretch of beach where Cory had washed up. But Maya didn’t know that.
Years of instinct took over and I pulled off the main road, taking a trail to the north that led to the dunes. The sun baked down on us. I slowed the bike, finding a shaded patch of beach surrounded by natural vegetation. We were too high up for anyone to see from the main road. No one ever came out this far. It was desolate and quiet. To Maya, I knew she’d just see the beauty of the beach below and the white sandscape all around. You could almost convince yourself this was another planet.
She’d never be able to find this place again without me. As she dismounted, she gasped and dropped her jaw, marveling at the scene. She said it looked like a postcard. To me, it would only ever be a graveyard. She kicked off her shoes and ran to the top of the tallest dune. Her blonde hair whipped behind her. The wind lifted her shirt, exposing her tan, taut stomach. She sunk her toes into the warm sand then dropped to her knees.
I went to her, standing above her as she pointed to a dolphin far into the surf, arcing high then disappearing under the waves.
Closing my eyes, I replayed those last few minutes of church as Benz and Bear went at it. I felt like it was all for show or all for me. There was never a chance that the vote would go any other way. Bear thought it would be some small consolation that everyone at the table hated this. They hated Junior. Bear promised that when the time was right, we’d find a way to take him out or neutralize him. But for now, our hands were tied. Protect Junior to protect the club.
I’d been in this place a thousand times. I never questioned it. Not once. The Dark Saints were more than family. They saved me more times than I could count. There wasn’t a man at that table who wouldn’t lay down their lives for me or me for them. I’d be dead by now or rotting in some hole in solitary. I had no doubt about that.
“Axle?” Maya looked up at me. Her eyes shone like jewels, matching the color of the ocean in front of us. I reached for her, gently pulling her hair away from her face. She knelt before me. My vision clouded as I let instinct take over.
My heartbeat slowed. My shoulders dropped. I could make it quick. I could make it so she never even knew what happened. God, I’d always seen the beauty in it, even if I’d never admitted that to myself until this very moment. Death was my gift. My calling. Bear was the one who’d seen that in me.
One instant. One choice. I could save the club. It was my duty. It always fell to me and that was right.
I didn’t see Maya anymore. Instead, I saw the job. I saw my duty. It was so easy to detach myself from who she was ... who I was. No, that wasn’t right. This was who I was. Every other moment I’d spent with her I’d been pretending. Axle Hart, enforcer for the Dark Saints M.C. wasn’t someone who ever got to have someone like Maya. I shouldn’t even breathe the same air as she did.
“Axle?” she asked me again. Slowly, she started to rise to her feet. She put her hands on my arm. I must have felt like stone to her. I’d hardened myself as if I were. One touch. One squeeze. I could end the breath caressing my cheek. She would never feel it. She would only feel an embrace from me then everything would go black.
My skill. My gift. My calling.
“It’s beautiful here,” she said, just like I knew she would. “Who owns this place?”
I wanted to tell her the truth. I think the devil himself owned this place. For so many people who’d crossed the Dark Saints, this became their hell at my hands.
If she saw something in my eyes, she didn’t let on. I knew why. My gorgeous Maya had already seen enough of her own hell. Junior’s brand of evil had already touched her. God, it would never end. Why couldn’t Bear see that? We were only enabling that little prick.
“I don’t ever want to go back there,” she said. Maya crossed her arms in front of her and turned away from me, looking toward the surf. Her gold-spun hair blew behind her and tickled my chin. She took a step back. My arms went up, pulling her toward me until she leaned the back of her head against my chest.
I could do it without even having to face her. She would never know it was me. There was no heaven. No afterlife. Only darkness. I’d seen too many men die to know they never walked toward any light. Deacon tried to tell me I was wrong. He saw the chance for redemption, until it was taken away from even him. But none of that mattered now. This moment was all there was.
Reaching up, she caressed my cheek. “You don’t have to,” I said. She turned in my arms. One beat. Two. I should do it now. End it. Move on.
“Axle, something’s happened. I want to tell you about it but I don’t think I can.”
The air seemed to burn my lungs. No. Don’t say anything.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. Another lie.
She pulled away and completed her turn so she faced me again. “I wish that were true. I wish I could be like you and just ride wherever the spirit took me.”
“Trust me, baby. You don’t ever want to be like me.” I don’t know why I said that. It made things messier than they needed to be. Hell, I shouldn’t have said anything at all. As jobs went, she’d made this one so easy. Except that was all a damn lie.
She brought both hands up, cupping my face. “Kiss me,” she whispered. “I don’t want to think anymore. God, right now, I wish I didn’t have to think ever again.”
Oh God.
Every muscle in my body went stone cold and rigid. She went up on her tiptoes. The cold left me, replaced by searing heat that shot through my veins. It was like some damn fairytale you tell little kids. I was made of marble. Then the princess touched me and brought her lips to mine and stone became flesh. My heart started to beat.
I brought my hands up, circling them around her slender neck. Maya cocked her head to the side and parted her lips. Her sweet, pink tongue darted out. So sweet. So trusting. Beauty stood before the beast.
Fuck.
Maya let out a little groan of pleasure and everything broke inside of me. I crushed my lips to hers, moved my hands from her neck and slid them around her waist.
“Axle.” She whispered my name. Heat poured through me. Her breath came hot against my neck as she came up for air. She wore a thin cotton t-shirt. Her nipples pebbled under it. Maya staggered backward as I swayed forward. We went down together, sinking into the hot sand.
“Please,” she begged me, clawing at my belt buckle. She arched her back, as I grabbed the waistband of her tight denim shorts. With one flick of my finger, I unbuttoned them, dragging them down her slender hips. Maya wriggled out of them and kicked off her shoes. Her movements were frantic, desperate with lust as she pulled her t-shirt over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra. She had perfect tits. Apple-sized with tiny pink nipples that puckered and rose to peaks when I ran the pad of my thumbs over them.
I slid out of my cut and threw my own t-shirt to the side. I went up on my knees and worked my belt buckle. Maya’s eyes flashed with dark desire as she brought her hands up and traced the lines of my ink. I knew she saw the web of scars that covered my abdomen right along with the tattoos. She didn’t question it like other women had. Instead, Maya sat up; her breasts swung free. She kept my gaze then flicked her tongue over my nipple, sending crazed heat through me.
My dick was so hard for her I could barely get my jeans down. She sank back; propping herself up on her elbows she lay prone for me, her supple legs spread.
“Oh God,” she cried out. “Axle. You’re so big.”
Fuck yeah. Big and hard and all for her. I reached for her, running a finger along the crotch of her panties, knowing exactly what I’d find there. She was soaked. As I gently tapped her sweet little clit over the silk, a fresh gush of her heated juices flowed. That was all it took. A switch flipped inside of me and I felt more animal t
han man.
I hooked a finger beneath the fabric, letting her coat me with her wetness. Then I shredded her panties with one, swift movement. Maya groaned again and let her thighs fall open. She was perfect and beautiful as a ripe peach. I kicked off my jeans and knelt before her, stroking the length of my cock. A tiny bead of precum formed at the tip and Maya’s eyes went wide. She reached for me, drawing me to her sweet, luscious mouth. When she wrapped her lips around me, the world stopped spinning. It was all I could do not to blow right then. She writhed beneath me, so eager for what I had to give her.
God. I came here to kill her. Now I meant to claim her.
She cried out for me and I gave her what she needed. What I needed. Maya raised her hips and that sweet, pink pussy of hers spread for me. I drove myself home. God, she was warm heaven. Slick, wet, wanting. Maya reared up; wrapping her legs around my hips she drew me in even deeper. I plunged into her, almost savage with need.
Maya’s walls clenched around me. She gripped me tight. Her nails found my back and she clawed at me, drawing blood. The mix of pleasure and pain called to my darkest nature. Called to me and remade me. I thrust into her, at first wanting to be gentle. She was so small. So perfect. I thought I could break her. But Maya couldn’t be broken. She had the same dark need inside of her. It rose, joined with mine, and matched it. She was a wild thing. She grew wetter and wetter, the more I ravaged her.
I was wrong. So wrong. Maya Ballard wasn’t some delicate, precious thing. Her need was just as raw and primal as mine. I felt her start to come. She arched her back beneath me, bringing her tits to my mouth. I reached down and tortured her with the lightest flicking of her nipples with the tip of my tongue.
“Axle! Oh God! More! Don’t stop.”
Oh baby, I would never stop. Not ever. I felt her juices gush as she came all over me. She clawed at the ground as if she might rise up out of herself. I knew just how she felt. Soon I’d need my own release, but I wasn’t quite done with her yet. Or, Maya wasn’t quite done with me. She rose up again and I knew what she needed. I shifted my weight, bringing her on top of me.
