“When did it happen for you?”
“Fine. Quid pro quo?”
Jackie nodded.
Without embellishment, Jane told her the story of her turn and the nights leading up to the slave rebellion. She watched Jackie’s usually unreadable face lettered with admiration, horror, fear, and pleasure.
“But how could you kill another human being like that?”
Jane tilted her head, tamping down the anger always beneath the surface whenever Master Perry floated to the top of h er thoughts.
“When I was about 15, I met a boy named Ennis. He lived on another plantation, but he was hired out to Master Perry’s place. He had the most infectious laugh, and I fell in love with him the moment I heard it.” She paused and smiled. Thinking of Ennis in those first days always made her feel human again. “After a while, we wanted to get married. His master was allowing him to use some of the money he earned to buy his freedom. He was going to work on buying my freedom, too.
“When I asked Perry for permission to marry him, well someone must have told him our plan because he refused us. Said he wouldn’t have some half-free issue nigger putting ideas in his gals’ heads about freedom. I was a hot head. I got angry and mumbled that he couldn’t stop us from being married in God’s eyes. Perry didn’t want to hear nothing about God’s eyes or any of his slaves thinking God would do anything for us that he didn’t want to do. So, he smiled — it was an evil smile that ran down my body like a salamander — and he told me I could go, but I wouldn’t be getting married. I left, glad that I didn’t get punished for my insubordination, but worried. I couldn’t read letters then, but I could read that man like a newspaper. He wasn’t finished with me.
“A week went by. Ennis and I married in the spirit if not in the law. Of course, it was all very quiet on a Sunday. Old Hez, the preacherman, stopped preaching early and the few of us who knew walked down to the river. I wore my ma’s wooden bracelet. Ennis, Ennis was beautiful.” Jane stopped talking as she pictured the boy she had loved. His face came to her now as clearly as it had when they shared their first kiss as man and wife. She could see his narrow brown eyes that disappeared in a twinkle of blackness when he spread his full lips into a smile or into that beautiful laugh. She saw his strong, wide nose and his solid jawline. She could even see his brown skin, the color of wheat blowing free in a field. She almost reached out to touch it, but drew back when she remembered that many generations and just as many hurts separated them.
“It was a nice ceremony.” She nodded, acknowledging Jackie’s presence. “That night was the first time we ever made love. My ma and sister stayed with Old Hez’s sister so we could have some privacy. I was nervous and he was nervous, but it was good. Sweet. And just as we drifted off to sleep, he bust through the door!”
“Who?” Jackie’s face froze in suspenseful horror.
The left side of Jane’s lips curled up revealing her extended fang. “Perry. He found out what we did and came down to let us know his word was the law. He glared down at me like he was trying to burn me with his eyes. I was naked, we both were, and Ennis tried to cover me with his body. That seemed to make Perry even madder. It happened faster than I could stop it. He grabbed Ennis by the neck, punched him in the face and threw him to the side of the cabin. Then he jumped at me, knocked me flat on my back, yanked down his trousers and . . . .” With closed eyes and tears coursing down her ebony cheeks, Jane continued through clamped teeth, “And rammed his thing inside of me. It hurt like hell, but not nearly as much as the dread I felt when I saw Ennis come to, stand up and try to pull him off of me. I was strong; I could handle it. I would have taken it all night if I could have stopped what happened next.”
“What? What happened next?” Tears freely overflowed the rims of Jackie’s eyes. She had reached across the table for Jane’s hand when Jane started crying, and now she was caressing it with her thumb.
With more anger than sorrow, Jane looked beyond Jackie into the void of the past and told her, “Perry knocked Ennis back down. He got back up and they fought. I really think Ennis was trying to kill Perry. I was so scared. He was gonna get himself killed. There was no way he could win this. If he did kill Perry, they would find him and probably torture him before they killed him. And if he lost the fight, Perry would still have no mercy on him. But I loved Ennis, and I was desperate to help him. I lunged for Perry—I was going to pull him off of my husband, but he knocked me down hard against the ground. It stunned me. I couldn’t move; I couldn’t think straight. When I came out of it, I saw Perry grab Ennis around the neck, choking him and forcing him to his knees. In the struggle, he pulled out a knife and jabbed it into Ennis’s back. He pushed Ennis down onto his stomach and then . . . and then . . . he, he took his manhood. It was like he had knocked me against my head again. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t even turn away. All I could do was cry. I couldn’t see Ennis’s face, but I feared I would never hear that beautiful laugh again. Perry showed me his face, though. While he was rutting against my man’s backside like a pig, he turned to me and smiled, making me feel slimy and unclean. After he finished, he stood up, kicked Ennis between his legs and spat on me. He didn’t even bother to close his trousers, just let his tiny pink dick hang out like a first prize ribbon. He looked at me and said, “You all belong to me. You don’t get married if I say you don’t.” And then he left. I still loved Ennis, but he could never look me in the eye after that. I didn’t think any less of him, but I guess he did. I mean, how do you come back from that?” Jane shook her head, still looking into the void of the past.
Jackie had taken Jane’s hand and placed its palm sympathetically against her cheek.
Suddenly, Jane’s focus shot back to the present. “So, you ask me how could I kill him, another human being? I just remembered that evil smile and realized he wasn’t a human being.”
The two women stared at each other, neither saying a word. The muted noise of people having dinner and unfettered conversation behind them seemed out of place in the world of hurt they were suddenly inhabiting.
The air was too thick, Jackie’s gaze too sharp. The walls shrank toward Jane. She needed to get out into the open arms of the night. She jumped up and ran out, almost knocking over an empty table. She groaned aloud as she felt Jackie’s presence immediately beside her. She couldn’t believe she allowed that much emotion erupt in front of a woman who barely even revealed she was a vampire.
“What’s wrong? What are you doing?” Jackie asked.
Jane refused to look at her, knowing her eyes held an oppressive weight of sympathy.
“I’m going home.” She started walking, at a normal pace at first, but then she ran, almost flying. She tried to speed away from the memories of loving and the ghosts of ancient hurts that weren’t dead after all.
“Stop!” Jackie grabbed her hand and brought her to a halt in front of her apartment.
Jane sighed and walked slowly into her apartment. Jackie was right behind her.
“I can’t pretend to understand the horror you lived through.” Jackie’s gentle voice caressed Jane’s spirit. “I have judged you without knowing your story and that was wrong. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” She bit her bottom lip.
Jane was suddenly empty, but she knew feeding would not replenish her. She needed something else, something holding a grudge against Jackie would not replenish. She opened her arms to embrace her. Jackie fell into them with relief.
As the two stood quietly holding each other, it began so slowly they hardly knew it was happening. Like the quiet, but instinctive way that day slips into night, with the horizon softly kissing the bottom of the sun, Jane pulled Jackie closer to her body. Standing nine inches above Jackie’s five feet, she had to bend to touch her lips. It was a hesitant kiss, unlike Jane completely, who was used to taking whatever she wanted. This time she wanted to give if Jackie would let her. Jackie did.
Jane entwined her fingers in Jackie’s raven hair. Each feather- soft st
rand ran across her skin whispering secrets of Jackie’s longing as well as Jane’s own. Jane smiled against Jackie’s caramel flesh, pulling it lightly with her front teeth, careful not to score it with her fangs. She wanted to push Jackie to her breaking point without taking her over the edge too fast; when Jackie did go over, she wanted to fall right with her.
But she could feel Jackie’s hesitation. Jackie wanted this; they both knew it. She wanted it so badly she trembled. Jane wanted her to know it was okay to let go, to allow herself to be overcome with the pleasure of this moment.
With a slight nudge, she pushed Jackie down onto the couch. Removing Jackie’s clothes and appreciating her nude torso, Jane intuitively knew that this was a creature that had been neglected for too long. She could tell by the tremble of her lips with each kiss Jane blew across her neck; the quiet moans that rumbled low in her body with the slightest touch; and the fevered way her hands shook when she reached up to caress Jane’s face. She needed to know she was appreciated, wanted; Jane wanted to show her.
The more Jane kissed her, the more she hungered for her. They had moved past want; Jane needed to feel every inch of Jackie against her tongue, inside of her mouth. Without a second thought, she pulled the ebony orbs of Jackie’s breasts into her mouth and suckled them.
Jane nipped the skin on the inside of Jackie’s breast and licked the dark red blood that trickled down like a stream of raindrops. As she sucked and healed the wound, inhaling Jackie’s cotton soft scent, she ran her hand down her torso, igniting warming spots of pleasure that she quickly cooled with kisses. Her hand, hot with its own need, popped the button of Jackie’s loose black pants and slid into them.
Jane stood up and yanked down Jackie’s pants, revealing the natural womanhood that pulsed with Jackie’s need. Jane inhaled, grateful for heightened senses. The smell of Jackie’s desire was intense, mesmerizing. Jane was immediately under its spell and could not have turned from it if she wanted to. She dropped to her knees and smothered her face and her will with Jackie’s wetness.
The more she felt the tender flesh against her wet tongue, the wetter she felt herself become. The louder Jackie’s moans grew, the more her own ache throbbed. She had never felt her arousal grow without ever being touched and simply because she was arousing someone else. She was connected to Jackie, her pleasure becoming Jane’s own pleasure. Wave after wave of pleasure slammed against the dam of their resistance, threatening to overrun the wall or break it all together. Jackie’s eyes were closed, her back arching as she hastened their carnal rapture with each thrust of her hips. Grabbing her fleshy buttocks, Jane squeezed them and pulled Jackie forward deeper into her mouth. They both were rocking. It was time. They were going over the wall with the tide of the pleasure and they could not stop it. It was building. It was strong. It was good. It was so good.
Oh God! It was a unified thought.
Jane plunged her fangs into Jackie’s thigh and a tributary of blood rushed out to meet the thick river that flowed between Jackie’s legs. Jane didn’t stop licking until Jackie, who lay quietly shivering, was only wet from her tongue.
Jane stood up and pulled Jackie off the couch onto the floor into the cover of her arms and the two slept in sated bliss.
A sliver of moonlight fell through the parted curtains, waking Jane just as Jackie jumped off the floor in one fluid motion.
Jackie screamed.
“What the hell?” Jane sat up.
“Hell! I am going to Hell! Oh, my God! What have I done? Jackie snatched her pants from the floor and yanked them on.
“What are you talking about?”
“I let you seduce me. It’s just like before. What is wrong with me?” She searched briefly for her bra that lay across the back of the couch. She jerked it on.
“What is wrong with you? What are you talking about, before?” Jackie shook her head wildly. “Oh, God.” She snatched her blouse from under Jane and pulled it together.
Some of the buttons had popped off so it only closed at the top and at the bottom. She kept pulling the middle closed although there were no buttons.
Jane stood up and grabbed Jackie by her arms.
“Calm down, Jackie. There was nothing wrong in what we just did. Actually, it was the most beautiful experience I’ve had with anyone in a while.” She tried to touch Jackie’s cheek.
Disgust crept across Jackie’s frantic face and curled her lip. The tip of a fang showed.
“You would think there was nothing wrong with it. But have you forgotten that I am married? And not gay?”
“Gay? That’s so beyond what we are, isn’t it? What we just shared was —”
“Wrong. I got to get out of here.” “Jackie, wait.”
She did not wait, however. Before Jane could stop her, Jackie was gone.
“Quid pro quo,” Jane said the next night as she stood on the threshold of Jackie’s doorstep.
“What are you doing here?” It was a stage whisper. Jackie pulled her cardigan tighter around her as her furtive glance seemed to take in everybody out on the street at dusk: there were a man rinsing his car, a group of young guys who smelled of marijuana, smoked and in bags, and a patrol car with officers watching the young guys.
“Why are you whispering? I just saw Carlo leave.”
“What are you doing here?” Jackie asked at a normal volume. “Quid pro quo. You owe me a story.” Jane pushed her way into the house, pushing Jackie aside with her body.
“And an explanation of what that was last night.”
“I just had to go. That wasn’t me.”
“Really?” Jane grinned slyly. “You can do body possessions, too?”
“You know what I mean.” She lowered her voice. “I’m not gay.” “Jackie.” Jane sat in the oversized black leather arm chair that she assumed was Carlo’s favorite seat. It smelled so strongly of him, she could taste alcohol and ass on the back of her tongue. “You don’t know who you are.”
Jackie stood in front of her, looking nervous as if she wanted her to get out of the chair. “I know I’m a child of God. I know I’m Carlo’s wife.”
“You don’t know who you are. You walk around pretending not to be a vampire, ordering coffee and carrying a purse. What are you carrying a purse for? Do you need your Mentos to cover the smell of blood on your breath?”
“How dare you!”
Sliding to the edge of the chair, but refusing to get up, Jane went on. “Jackie, baby, you can only go out at night. You can read people’s thoughts. You. Drink. Blood. If that’s not a vampire, I don’t know what is. And you say you’re not gay, that I seduced you? No, baby, for the first time in a long time, I did not have to use my power of seduction. And if you hadn’t told me with your thoughts — with your thoughts — your body was speaking loud and clear. You wanted me just as much as I wanted you. “
Jackie’s eyes glowed a hot amber and baring her fangs, she hissed.
“That’s right, sister, let the vampire out. But I’m not the one you want to turn it on; use that on your bastard of a husband.”
Jackie’s face collapsed. Her fangs retreated and her eyes became a dark hazel.
Jane’s voice was tender when she spoke. “I don’t understand. You have the power to stop him. Why do you let him hurt you?”
Plopping down on the matching couch in front of Jane, Jackie looked defeated.
“Quid pro quo,” Jackie murmured. “I grew up in a very strict Baptist household in South Carolina. No boys, no R & B music, no make-up. My parents raised me to love the Lord and hate evil. Which I did. I do. But we all have our weaknesses. When I first met Carlo, I was sixteen and he was twenty-five. He was so handsome and smart and righteous. He was a member of the Black Panthers, you know.” Pride glowed in Jackie’s amber eyes. “He was strong and dangerous. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be with him, but I couldn’t help it. He was just so fine and proud. I had never met anyone like him. Well, one night I snuck out of the house to be with him and we . . . well, we sinned.” She hu
ng her head, her last words coming out as a whisper.
“What? Did you rob someone? Kill somebody?” Jane asked. “No. We had sex.”
“What? Sex? God gave you those genitals, didn’t He?”
“To be used in marriage. But I’m not going to argue with you.
I know what he and I did — I did — and I know that God punished me for it.”
“How?”
“I got pregnant.” She stopped and rubbed her hand over her soft belly. “Carlo was just as scared as I was. He had a job, but we couldn’t afford a baby. Plus, there was no way I was telling my parents. So, I did the worst thing I could ever do.
I killed my own child.”
Jane wasn’t shocked by Jackie’s admission although Jackie seemed to expect it. She seemed to be looking for disapproval and judgment. Confusion played across Jackie’s face in soft lines and arrested her words so that she stumbled them out.
“It was the worst thing I have ever done. And it is the cross I bear. After the uh. . . after I did it, my parents found out about me and Carlo. They threw me out. Carlo and I got married, and we really were happy. It was a blessing that we did not deserve. Since we didn’t, I was determined to do everything right. I wanted to be the perfect wife. His clothes were always washed; his dinner was always ready when he got home; his house was always clean; I never complained when he wanted to go out with his friends. But when the time was right, the only thing I couldn’t do was have his baby. We tried for two years, but it never happened again. The doctors told me that the man who performed my uh, who took my baby, messed me up and too much scar tissue had formed for me to ever get pregnant again.” Jackie started to cry. “At first, Carlo was sympathetic and understanding. But after he watched more and more of his friends have sons to carry on their names, he started drinking. And coming home later. And hitting me.
“I missed us so much. I wanted to feel happy and special like I did in the beginning. I guess that’s why I even listened to that man in the first place.”
Sycorax's Daughters Page 8
