Under cover of night, Tess longed to open her heart and talk to Ryan about the things she’d struggled with for so many years. Though her family knew the details of Al’s death, she’d held back the greater fears that scarred her heart. But these past days, she’d let God’s presence and Ryan fill her thoughts, and the new hope helped to dislodge the anger and hurt that had adhered so tightly to her emotions.
Rolling on her side, Tess gazed at Ryan’s outline in the darkness. His silhouette had grown familiar and comforting. Today, unknowingly, he’d proved himself honorable and trustworthy.
The shadowed form shifted in the chair, and before Tess’s eyes, the chair and ottoman parted company while Ryan thumped to the floor between them.
He released a loud “oomph” and struggled to rise, tangled in ottoman and quilt.
Tess flung her legs from the bed and snapped on the light. She watched him free himself and settle his feet on the floor, an embarrassed look covering his face. She couldn’t help but laugh. Yet her mind and heart knew that he’d done everything tonight to show her respect. He’d honored her morals and beliefs. Beneath Tess’s chuckle her declaration rang with sincerity. “Enough, Ryan.”
“I’m sorry, Tess.”
“No,” she said, walking toward him and grabbing the spread from the floor. “Enough of this silliness.”
She returned to the bed and threw the quilt to the other side.
“Come here and get some rest.”
Chapter Six
Ryan faltered, squinting in the brightness and wondering if he were sleeping and this were all a dream. Since they’d agreed on the sleeping arrangements, he’d questioned how he’d get through the next ten hours holed up with Tess in the same hotel room. “You sure about this?”
Tess patted the mattress. “I’m sure. If you wanted to ravage me, you’d have done it already.”
He brushed his hair from his forehead and ambled around the bed to the opposite side. “You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am.” She grinned and slid her legs beneath the blanket. Turning on her side, Tess snapped off the bed lamp.
The mattress dipped as Ryan settled onto the bed, spreading out beside her and leaving a cautious space between them.
She lay there, still and silent, her back to him in the dim moonlight.
Ryan tried to push away his thoughts. Instead his senses aroused knowing he was so close beside Tess. His thoughts tossed in his head, and though his body cried out for sleep, his mind was relentless. He eased up and peered at the red digital numbers, then rolled on his back and stared at the inky ceiling.
“Ryan,” she whispered.
He shifted and rolled in slow motion toward her. “Tess?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Thinking?”
“That I lied to you today.” She turned toward him and raised herself on an elbow.
“You lied?”
“Not lied exactly…but I didn’t tell you the whole truth.”
His chest tightened with speculation. He joined her, propped on his elbow with his head against his fist.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s about Al’s death.”
He held his breath, feeling the mattress stir as she neared him.
“It’s true he died in a car accident,” she said.
He sucked in air.
“But he wasn’t alone.” Her voice filled with sadness.
Ryan’s imagination flew. Had Tess been with him? Had she been driving? Sorrow shot through him, and he leaned toward her and his hand touched hers. “Oh, Tess. You were in the—”
“He died with another woman in the car,” Tess said.
“Another woman?” The words spun in his thoughts. “You mean—”
“He’d been having an affair. For all those years, he’d been saying he had to work and…”
Ryan lifted his hand toward her face to brush her cheek. Her grief became his. Emotions expanded in his chest. Anger, frustration, sorrow for Tess, pain for her suffering.
“I’m so sorry, Tess.”
“I don’t love him anymore, Ryan. I’m just mortified that I lived in ignorance for so long.”
He edged closer and drew Tess to his side. She didn’t pull away, but rested her head against his shoulder.
“I didn’t have an inkling. I felt…humiliated. So stupidly gullible. I believed his excuses. The typical ones—working late, entertaining clients, out-of-town conferences. Can you believe how stupid I was?”
“Don’t say that, Tess. Why would you doubt him? When you love someone, you trust them. Marriage means a promise of commitment and faithfulness. Why would you think otherwise?”
His body twinged with the hurt he felt coursing through her.
“But there were too many clues. He grew distant. Distracted, not interested in…me. Quick kisses, mundane conversation. I believed him. I trusted him. I was faithful to him. And I was naive.”
Ryan caressed her arm and nestled his head against hers. “You weren’t naive, Tess. Love means trust. They go hand in hand.”
“That’s what I always thought,” she said.
Her mouth lay so close, he felt the brush of her breath against his face. He struggled with the deepest desire to take her in his arms and kiss away her sadness, but she’d spoken of broken trust. Any action now would destroy the faith she had in him.
Instead, Ryan pressed his finger against her lips, then drew his hand to her head and petted her hair, soothing her to stillness.
Minutes passed before her breathing steadied and deepened. Ryan held her in his arms, watching the sun rise through a small crevice between the window frame and the shade.
The morning sun glinted on the water, and Tess went ahead of Ryan up the ramp onto the ferry. She’d slept fitfully, awakening to find herself in Ryan’s arms—her body beneath the sheet and he on top of the blanket, covered by the quilt.
The feeling of longing overwhelmed her. The yearning to be complete and whole again. The desire to be in the arms of a man who loved her as much as she loved him.
In the morning light, her feelings for Ryan frightened her. She’d grown to care for him. His tenderness and honesty had broken down her barriers of fear, and she recalled seeing him over the past years. During that time, Tess had observed Ryan with Davie, enjoying their relationship. She saw love in the child’s eyes as he looked at his uncle, and Ryan’s gaze brimmed with love and delight, as he’d play with the boy on the beach.
She remembered that sunny day and recalled her admiration grew for Ryan, a man she barely knew, who seemed so devoted to his family. Though a sin, she envied him.
Before the miscarriages, she’d envisioned Al a family man. But after she miscarried, once, twice, Al seemed to change, and she’d missed that kind of loving she’d seen in Al’s eyes—the kind of look Ryan gave her even talking about Davie. She’d longed for that kind of family love.
During breakfast at the inn, Ryan had been quiet. He’d made no comment about her confession the night before, but she noticed his eyes looked tired. She wondered if he’d lain awake worrying about her…or worse, pitying her. Still she’d told him the truth—most of the truth—and the confession gave her relief.
Aboard the ferry, Ryan guided her to a seat inside the cabin, and she sat close to him, watching the city grow nearer during the fifteen-minute ride back to Mackinaw City.
When they left the ferry, only a few cars stood in the parking lot. Even the streets remained quiet with shops not opening until ten o’clock.
Contentment lingered in Tess’s thoughts as they headed for Ryan’s car. As they approached, he dug through his pockets for the car keys, then stopped and felt again. His hands dropped to his sides, and he looked at Tess with an embarrassed grin. “Guess what?”
“Hmm?”
“No keys.”
“You’re kidding.” From his expression, she knew he wasn’t.
Ryan looked through the car window and pointed. His expression was more
amused than amazed. “Serves me right for being such as smart aleck.”
Though she’d thought it, Tess didn’t rub it in. “You can open the door with that thingamabob.”
He raised his eyebrows and stared at her with a wry grin. “My thingamabob’s in the trunk. And guess what?”
She fought the grin that spread across her face. “You need the key.”
“How’d you guess? And wipe that silly grin off your face.” He gave her a teasing poke.
Sharing a lighthearted moment in the midst of the recent turmoil felt wonderful. They stood staring at the car in amused silence.
He shrugged. “We’d better find a gas station. It’s a long walk to the cabins.”
“How’s your thumb?” Tess tossed her shoulder bag and package on the trunk of the car, planning a comic hitchhike demonstration. As the bag hit the lid, a dull tink sounded. Then she remembered. The sweatshirt hanger. “Listen, Mr. Rescuer, what would you give me for a solution to your problem?”
His brows knitted. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe I can solve your problem for once.”
“Don’t get my hopes up.”
“No. Seriously.”
“Okay. I’ll buy you dinner tonight.”
Better than she hoped. Tess gave him a teasing grin, dug into her shopping bag and pulled out the metal clothes hanger. “Voilà.”
His face shifted from curious to relieved. He grasped the wire from her hands. “But if this doesn’t work, I’m off the hook for dinner.”
He manipulated the hanger in his strong fingers, straightening and bending it to match the gadget he’d used earlier. After a few tense moments, he slid the wire between the door and the window pane and began his infamous wiggle. This time, Tess laughed out loud.
He eyed her over his shoulder. “What’s so funny?”
“You’d have to stand behind yourself and watch.” She demonstrated a little jiggle for him.
“Nice,” he said, giving her a wink and turning back to his work. In a moment, he faced her. “Have a good laugh, my dear woman, because—” he swung around to show her “—the door is open.” He waved his self-created door opener like a magic wand.
She caught him with an enthusiastic embrace. As she nestled against his chest, their eyes met. Longing rose in Ryan’s face. His soft gaze caressed her with half-opened eyes, and her body molded to his as his arms drew her closer. She felt the hanger fall from his fingers and slide to the ground.
She stood transfixed, lost in his eyes and uncaring about some early riser who might see them. Her pulse galloped, taking her breath away. Ryan’s lips neared hers, and she tiptoed to meet him, ready and eager.
His soft, supple mouth touched hers, sending a flutter through her chest. How long had it been since she’d felt a kiss this gentle, yet impassioned?
When their lips parted, Tess gazed at Ryan’s face as he contemplated hers. His arms clasped her so close, she felt the beating of his heart through her jacket. Her own skipped like a child jumping rope. The urgency passed, and they relaxed in their embrace.
Ryan’s eyes filled with a devilish twinkle as he spoke. “I think we’d better get out of here before we’re arrested.”
She allowed the light moment to pull her from the sensations coursing through her. “A few hours in jail might be good for both of us.”
“Or a cold shower,” Ryan said.
Ryan hung up the telephone later that day and clutched the kitchen counter to steady himself. Donna. He couldn’t believe she’d called Jill to find out why he hadn’t answered the call she’d left on his answering machine. And now, Donna had called him here.
He tilted his head back, sending up a needed prayer. Lord, help her to understand it’s over. He stood a moment hoping to calm his fluttering heart. Why had Donna decided that their broken engagement was wrong? He knew it was right. He’d known much sooner than she had that they weren’t meant for each other, but he’d give Donna time to realize it, too. And he let her break the engagement.
Today, she said, she’d had second thoughts. Not Ryan. He’d been relieved from the moment she gave him back the ring. Though he hadn’t followed through, he wanted her to keep it as a gift. A thank-you for making the decision easy.
Easy. Not anymore. Today she’d made it complicated. She’d begged him to get together to talk it over. To get her to hang up, Ryan had agreed to see her when he returned. But change his mind? Never. Not before he’d found Tess and certainly not after. Tess was all that filled his mind.
Since the moment they’d met and he learned she was widowed, he sensed that God had brought them together. He knew in his heart she was the woman he’d dreamed of calling his own. The woman meant to share his life.
In a way, the revelation seemed foolish. They’d seen each other on occasion over the years, but only in the past week had they really gotten to know each other.
Ryan glanced at his watch and hurried to the car. Tess was waiting for him to take her to dinner. Now what would he do? Tell her about the call?
Though it seemed right, he didn’t like the idea. She’d just begun to trust him. She’d just begun to show her feelings toward him. What would happen if he told her Donna wanted him back.
Pulling down the lane, Ryan saw Tess waiting for him. Her dark hair appeared streaked by the sunset and her olive green-and-gold jacket brightened her countenance like autumn leaves.
She slid into the car, and he paused looking at her heightened color and her warm smile. “You are beautiful, Tess.”
She lowered her eyes, a deeper glow washing her cheeks. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Thanks,” he said, shifting into reverse and backing around. “Let’s try the Embers. I think they’re still open.”
The Embers was less than a mile up the highway. Though the parking lot looked empty, the Open sign glowed in the dusk from the window.
Walking beside Tess into the restaurant, Ryan knew she’d become thoughtful again. He’d gotten carried away earlier at the ferry dock, and he feared she regretted the kiss. He didn’t regret it at all. Only Donna’s call had set him on edge.
They found seats, and after they studied the menu, he sat back, needing to apologize. “I hope I didn’t upset you this morning, Tess.”
She raised her shy eyes to his. “The enthusiasm was mutual.” She focused on the silverware, napkin, seemingly everything, but him. “But I don’t want you to think…I have anything more…to offer. I—”
Ryan heard her words before she said them. Her anxiety was the same as his. He loved kissing her, but he meant to act with control, not like a love-starved idiot. He placed his hand on hers. “I’m sorry, Tess. My testosterone got carried away, but I’m not expecting anything more than you’re willing or able to give.”
“I’m more scared of my own feelings, Ryan. I’ve always believed in…keeping myself…for marriage. Maybe that sounds silly since I was married once, but—”
“Not silly at all.”
“But this morning, I found myself wanting…” Her pale skin colored more deeply.
Ryan had felt the same. Had longed to make love to her. Had yearned to feel the softness of her body against his, but he pushed away his longings—the same as he’d controlled his desire. Instead, he needed to ease her anxiety.
“Don’t feel badly, Tess. I’m no Don Juan, but I’m sure not perfect, either.” He studied her face, hoping to see her tension fade. “My hormones and I’ve had a few battles, but my good sense usually wins out.”
She shifted in her chair, then lifted her gaze and looked into his eyes. “I’m glad you understand.”
He nodded.
“And it’s not that I don’t like you. I do.”
“And I like you, too. A lot.” He drew her hand to his lips enjoying the soft coolness of her fingers. They remained in a silent pose, gazes locked.
Unnoticed, the waitress arrived, and when Ryan became aware, he looked at her and caught her grin. “Honeymooners?”
&nb
sp; Ryan slid Tess’s hand to the table with a chuckle and picked up the menu. “Only wishful thinking,” he said. He eyed Tess to see her response. She blinked, then gave the flicker of a smile.
With the interruption, they ordered and regained their composure. Tess rested her cheek on her hand. “I like that about you, Ryan. You’re frank and honest.” A myriad of emotions swept across her face.
“I try to be,” he said, swallowing his guilt in hearing her truthful comment. Tess had given him a lead to tell her about Donna’s call. To admit the breakup had happened only weeks before. But he couldn’t. She might not understand.
Chapter Seven
After coffee and toast the next morning, Tess headed for the beach alone. She’d sensed a difference in Ryan during dinner the past evening. What had caused it? She hoped it hadn’t been the details of Al’s infidelity she’d related earlier that day. Infidelity insinuated an unhealthy marriage. Did he think her an inept wife? She’d asked herself the same question. Another thought nudged her thinking. Could it have been her bluntness about chastity? She shuffled her thoughts like playing cards, turning them up to find the jokers instead of aces.
The sun glinted off the rippling waves that rolled to shore, and she moved briskly in the direction away from Ryan’s cottage. She needed to think in silence. Alone.
Not only did Ryan fill her thoughts, but the cabin pressed on her mind. Since Ryan knew real estate, she wondered if she should ask him to appraise the property and take care of the listing information—just in case. Her “just in case” was only a balm to ease the pain. Keeping the cabin would be foolish. Her heart sank as she weighed her decision.
Tess picked up her pace along the moist sand. As she jogged along the shore, her feet left imprints in the ground. Her pulse raced, and the cool breeze numbed her cheekbones. She tucked her hands into her pockets to warm them, and finally, out of breath, she slowed, then stopped. She had jogged a good mile, and the creek lay just ahead of her.
Tess leaned down, propping her hands against her thighs, until her heartbeat returned to normal. Pausing, her mind filled with questions. After last night, she knew she wanted to see more of Ryan. His gentle kiss, his tender touch lingered in her mind. She was sure he felt the same.
The Harvest Page 5
