Want You Back

by Karen Whiddon

  Though being with Jake made her feel perilously close to being one.

  “Jenny?” Leaning close, Jake peered deeply into her eyes.

  Her breath caught and her heart skipped a beat. “Yes?” She moistened her lips, praying he didn’t notice her uncontrollable yearning, praying he couldn’t read her mind.

  He frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay? Were you out in the sun awhile before I came to get you? Maybe we should get you a tall glass of water.”

  They had nearly reached the steps to the raised platform. Ahead of them she saw Justin T. Speerlock usher Molly, his plump wife, to her seat That left two empty seats between them and Howard and Pauline.

  Perfect.

  “I’m fine.” Scooting ahead of him, she hustled up the steps, glad she wore such a long, shapeless piece of material. Behind her, Jake kept his distance, which was how she preferred it. Really.

  “Afternoon.” Greetings were exchanged all around. Justin T. even removed the huge, black, ten- gallon hat he wore every year for the Fourth of July.

  “Jake.” Howard leaned forward and gave Jake’s hand a hearty shake. “This is Pauline.” He beamed at Jenny. “I’ve been wanting to ask her out for awhile now.”

  She squeezed his shoulder, offering the other woman a friendly smile. “Great, Howard. I’m glad.”

  They took their seats, Jenny rearranging her chair slightly so that her shoulder wouldn’t touch Jake’s. She knew he noticed when he cocked that golden eyebrow at her, but pretended not to understand.

  From down the street, the high school marching band started up. They always led the parade, heading up the various floats and antique cars.

  The buzz of the crowd grew louder. Because no one seemed to be watching, Jenny leaned over and touched Jake on the shoulder. “Part of your job is to decide on the best float. The winner gets a trophy and a free dinner at Applebriar’s.”

  He nodded solemnly. Unable to resist, Jenny studied his handsome face, glad he wore dark sunglasses that hid his beautiful eyes.

  The oddest urge came over her as the thumping drums and blaring horns grew louder. An image came to her, an image of her grabbing his hand and pulling him out of his chair so that they could dance to the music. She could imagine it clearly, the two of them there, high on the platform, in front of the mayor and the city council, not to mention all the townspeople below, be-bopping gaily to the march.

  Though she knew she’d never do it, not now, Jenny was unable to suppress a grin at the thought.

  Jake grabbed her hand and leaned over. Low voiced, he spoke directly in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, let’s do it.”

  Before he finished, she’d begun shaking her head. “Look.” She pointed as the first row of the band, in their scarlet uniforms, turned the corner. She’d do anything to distract herself from the impulse to turn her head ever so slightly and kiss him.

  Slowly, with apparent reluctance, Jake turned to watch the parade.

  Jenny breathed a sigh of relief. Ever since Jake had kissed her, all she seemed able to think about was kissing him again. This would have to stop.

  The band passed directly underneath them, marching in step. The horns blared, the drams thumped, and the townspeople cheered.

  Then came the floats. Like every year, most of the town’s retail businesses had them. And most of them didn’t bother to redo them, so they were exactly the same as the year before.

  Bored, Jenny gripped the arms of her lawn chair so hard her knuckles turned white. She would not look at Jake, she would not touch Jake. And she hated it that she found it necessary to repeat these words, over and over, in order to keep herself from doing so.

  Howard and Pauline chatted quietly with Justin T. and Molly. Glancing at Jake from the corner of her eye—surely that quick, darting glance didn’t qualify as a look—Jenny saw that he seemed to be engrossed in the parade.

  She stifled a yawn. If she’d been down among the crowd at Third and Main, she could at least move around, shake a little lead out. Here, she felt like she was on display. It was quite a coup, Howard had told her. Proof positive that she was considered a real businessperson now.

  Right next to the bank president, right next to the mayor and the city council. Right next to the newcomer who’d breezed in to town to open a restaurant and promised unprecedented development and growth.

  Jenny should have felt a sense of great satisfaction. Her new position should be good for business. It certainly couldn’t hurt.

  Yet she wished she were somewhere else.

  After the floats came the antique cars. They all had their radios tuned to the fifties station, which happened to be playing one of Jenny’s favorite songs, “Run Around Sue.” Her toe started tapping in time to the blaring music and she let it. She even started drumming her hands, quietly, on the arms of her chair.

  Noticing, Jake gave her a wicked grin. “I’ve made my decision.” Stretching, he stood, bowing at the waist, and held out his hand. “Shall we dance?”

  Jenny stared up at him. If she refused, he’d look like a fool. And since dancing was what she really wanted to do, even if it was only a short one, she found herself taking his hand and letting him pull her to her feet.

  Due to lack of space, they did an abbreviated version of a swing dance. For the first time in forever, Jenny found herself laughing out loud as he swung her around. She felt graceful and light and finally, at home in her body.

  Below, people began to notice and point. Several clapped and cheered them on as the cars puttered past, the music gradually fading.

  Not even winded, Jake bowed again, pulling her chair back into place so that she could take her seat He winked as they sat, Jenny breathless and flushed and feeling so electrically alive she felt exhilarated and new.

  Until she glanced at their neighbors.

  Peering at her over the rims of his glasses, Howard looked like he’d bit into a lemon and swallowed it whole. Pauline, trying to mirror his disapproval, only succeeded in a confused frown. Justine T. Speerlock wore a thunderous expression, leaning over and opening his mouth as if he meant to loudly reprimand them. But Molly, soft brown eyes twinkling, laid her hand on his arm and prevented him with a few whispered words. Then, nodding at Jenny and Jake, one corner of her mouth twitched and she winked, her expression indulgent

  Jenny wished the platform would open up and swallow her. What had come over her? She felt so foolish, so embarrassed.

  From below came the sound of cheering and shouts of “More!” even as the song faded in the distance.

  “Is there more music?” Jake elbowed her, his wickedly beautiful grin triumphant.

  Suddenly, her embarrassment fled. Lifting her chin, she looked Jake square in the eye, or rather, his sunglasses. “The middle school band should be coming around the corner in a minute.” She sounded breathless, but realized she didn’t care about that either.

  It was a the Fourth of July, a national holiday. The weather was perfect, and not a cloud marred the bright blue sky. There were booths with fresh watermelon and cotton candy and com on the cob for her to sample after the parade, and there would be a colossal display of fireworks, like there was every year. She had a picnic basket full of her best fried chicken, tart lemonade, and pie.

  And she was with the most beautiful man she’d ever met. Letting herself enjoy the day had made her feel like the old Jenny for once and dang it—she’d enjoyed it! It struck her then that the Jenny she used to be was a lot more fun than the scared and afraid- to-feel Jenny she’d turned herself into.

  Faintly she could hear the drams and the horns of the Ater middle school marching band. While not as practiced as the high school band, they still played a good march.

  As they turned the corner, Jake bowed in front of her. “May I have this dance?” he intoned solemnly, then flashed that irresistible grin.

  Not daring to look at the others, Jenny pretended to consider. Then, as the blaring march grew louder, she gav
e a regal nod and held out her hand.

  The onlookers below, watching, broke out in a cheer.

  Jake didn’t know what had come over Jenny—and he really didn’t care. All he knew was that, despite her baggy denim dress and despite her hair being up in a tight, professional bun, the old Jenny was back. He intended to enjoy her while it lasted.

  They danced until there was no music then, arms linked, watched the end of the parade. He told Justin T. his choice for the best float, waiting while it was announced and the winner awarded the trophy.

  Jenny was first down the stairs, her lovely face lit up like an excited child as she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the arcade and food vendors.

  She tried her hand at coin tossing and threw a softball at some stacked milk bottles, missing them by a mile.

  “Darn.” Lifting her face to his, she made an exaggerated pout. “I wanted to win that stuffed octopus.”

  He raised a brow. “Out of all the stuffed kittens and bears and puppies, you want that ugly old thing?”

  Nodding, she paid the attendant and handed him the softballs. “Win it for me.”

  It was a challenge and a dare. Jake weighed the softball in his hand and debated. “What do I get if I do?” he asked softly, glad the dark glasses hid his eyes. If she saw how badly he wanted her, no doubt she would skitter away in fear.

  But Jenny didn’t back down. She swallowed, her bright eyes sparkling. “What do you want?” she whispered, her voice seductive, even though he knew it was not intentional.

  “A kiss,” he told her softly. Then, before she could answer, he fired off the three softballs. They nailed the milk bottles, sending them crashing to the table.

  The octopus was handed over and Jenny hugged it to her, looking anywhere but at him.

  Damn. Had he ruined things by his request for a kiss? Jake knew he shouldn’t have said that, knew he had no right to claim a kiss, but realized he had no choice. He had to touch her, had to taste her. He knew this with a sense of wonderment and confusion, feeling as if he might die if he did not. It was all he could do to keep things platonic between them, even now, surrounded by townspeople.

  But, he told himself, he was at least able to touch her, to hold her hand, her elbow, his callused fingers on her creamy, soft skin. For now, he would make this do, though later he could make no promises, even to himself.

  They moved away from the crowded arcade, his hand lightly at her elbow.

  “I’m sorry,” he told her, gruff-voiced.

  Jenny nodded once, a quick jerk of her head. “I brought fried chicken,” she told him, hesitantly smiling that lopsided smile he remembered and loved.

  Jake cursed under his breath. He wanted to kiss her now, circumstances be damned. He burned to kiss her now, but knew a sudden fear that she would leave if he did.

  “When do you want to eat?” he asked carefully, trying not to stare at her too long.

  She flashed him a startled look, then shrugged and laughed. “Well, I don’t know about you, but all that dancing did make me sort of hungry.”

  Oh, he was hungry all right But not for food. Jake shook his head at his uncharacteristic impatience and managed a smile. “I could eat I guess.”

  They found a bench under a gnarled old fruitless mulberry tree and sat, thighs touching, to eat.

  The sun made her hair shine like golden fire as she rummaged in her basket, bringing out food with a childlike reverence.

  He marveled at her easy trust wondering if she now believed he would not touch her, wondering too if she found him so easy to resist that sitting so close had no effect on her. Because these questions seemed a torment, he forced himself to concentrate on the food.

  The fried chicken was crisp and juicy. Jake couldn’t remember when he’d tasted better. Oh, yes, he could. The last time he’d been in Ater with Jenny. She’d made him this same fried chicken, along with potato salad and homemade apple pie for dessert.

  No one bothered them. Jake felt as if they were in their own little world, a world where he could gladly stay as long as Jenny was there. Though he had no right he couldn’t seem to stop torturing himself. He knew he had a debt to pay Jenny for the hurt he’d caused her, and intended to pay it any way he could.

  But he’d come to the stark realization after several sleepless nights, that he could never be merely Jenny’s friend. Her lover, yes. But he didn’t want to hurt her again and, since he could not marry her, he was afraid he was on the verge of doing exactly that Hurting her and hurting himself.

  The sun lazily made its inevitable trip towards the western horizon. In companionable silence, they finished their feast, Jenny carefully repacking the leftovers in her hamper.

  The fireworks would start when the dusk became darkness, around nine or nine-thirty. They made their way over to the fairgrounds, the starting place of the parade and the place for the fireworks display. Already there were people with lawn chairs and blankets, some playing Frisbee or catch, others just chatting or enjoying their meal.

  Jenny had brought a blanket and, marching ahead of him, selected a spot. Jake helped her spread the blanket on the ground, noting the twin spots of color high in her cheeks. Ah, so maybe Jenny wasn’t as unaffected as he’d thought earlier.

  Immensely cheered, Jake tried not to dwell on the erotic images his mind conjured up looking at Jenny and the blanket. He wondered if she remembered another blanket, spread like this one for a picnic they’d taken in a sun-dappled meadow.

  Lowering himself to the blanket, he knelt beside her. “Jenny, do you remember—”

  Her eyes widened as she took in his position. “I can’t believe you,” she muttered, disbelief and shock making her eyes huge. “Are you mocking even that?”

  Too late he remembered that it had been on that same picnic that he’d knelt in front of her, as he did now, and asked her to be his wife.

  She scrambled to her feet, one hand out in front of her as if to ward him off and backed away from him. “Leave me alone, Jake. I think you’d better go.”

  Go? Not a chance. Moving slowly, Jake got to his feet.

  “Jen, I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? You?” She shook her head, finally dislodging the bun and sending her glorious hair flying. “You don’t know the meaning of the word.”

  Her voice was his undoing, all husky and smoky and trembling with anguish. In a simple motion, Jake pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and murmuring soothing words of love into her sweetly scented hair. He could no more help himself than he’d been able to two years ago, when he’d proposed marriage knowing that they could pull him out anytime. Knowing he would leave her without a word, because he had no choice. He’d signed on for the long haul with them. Undercover work was his job and he was damn good at it.

  But that didn’t mean he hadn’t loved her—didn’t still love her. Wouldn’t always love her. He groaned out loud as his body responded instantly to the shape and feel of her.

  She cried softly, trembling and responsive in his arms.

  Holding her, Jake rained tiny kisses on her neck, her hair, her shoulders, whispering endearments all the while.

  Gradually, her breathing changed, becoming fast and shallow. Her hands came up around his neck, and she stroked his hair with that fine, gentle touch he remembered. He raised his head to find she’d raised hers. Everything she felt was in her eyes, all the pent-up desire and hurt and—dare he hope— love.

  Fumbling, Jake pulled off his sunglasses, wanting her to read the same in his eyes.

  All around them, the dusk deepened. People talked and horsed around and waited for the fireworks. Jenny and Jake, Jake and Jenny, together again, stood locked in each other’s arms and silently communicated.

  After two long years away from her, two years of hell, Jake finally felt alive again. And Jenny—if her tremulous smile of welcome was any indication—felt much the same.

  Never mind that he had nothing to offer her, never mind that it couldn’t be, wouldn’t be forever. S
he was his Jenny again, and that was all that mattered right now.

  Chapter Seven

  He was driving her mad.

  Teasing her, tempting her, setting her on fire with tender kisses and the strong, sure touch of his work- roughened hands.

  She wanted him with an intensity that bordered on insanity.

  So she reached up, pulled his head down, and covered his mouth with hers.

  The kiss was deep and drugging, slow and absolutely wonderful. It made her feel exactly the same way the previous one head. Delicious. Alive. Hot

  Moaning her pleasure low in her throat, Jenny leaned into it, wrapping her arms around Jake to keep him close. She could feel his arousal, hard and swollen.

  For the first time in two years, Jenny forgot where she was or who might be watching. She wanted this man more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. She felt she might die if she didn’t have him.

  Jake lifted his head and then, hands on her shoulders, gently set her away. Even in the gathering darkness, she could see her own desire reflected in them.

  “The fireworks ...” He cleared his throat, swallowed, then tried again. “The fireworks are about to start.”

  For a moment she thought he was talking about them, about the heat they’d made between them. Then, as the sounds of people laughing and talking registered, she realized he meant the real fireworks, the Fourth of July fireworks that were about to go off any moment.

  Horrified, Jenny realized that if Jake hadn’t stopped her, she might have made love to him right here, right now, in the grass with the entire town nearby. Her face flamed, though the now near-total darkness hid it.