'Oh—no. I'm—I'm fine, thank you.'
Elaine gave her a frowning look, but didn't press it. 'Dinner's ready. Will you tell the men?'
They ate in Elaine's comfortable candlelit dining- room, Casey and Reid sitting opposite each other. But all the tension was back now, somehow increased a hundredfold because there were other people there and they had to try to hide it. Reid succeeded quite well, talking apparently naturally, but when Richard asked him about his last race in America, Reid shot her a dark glance and said, 'I don't think we'd better talk about that; racing is a subject Casey has an aversion to.'
For a few seconds there was a startled silence while Casey stared fixedly at her plate, but Elaine quickly broke it, like the good hostess she was, and said lightly, 'I don't blame her. When you men get started on powerboats you never know when to stop. Tell me, Casey, do you play tennis? We have quite a good tennis club near here that you might like to join.'
And so the tricky situation was glossed over, but they were all very much aware of it. After dinner they had coffee in the sitting-room and Casey quite deliberately went to sit in an armchair by herself. Reid gave her a sardonic look and went to sit on one of the sofas, a brandy balloon in his hand. Richard asked her how Mark was getting along and after she had told him he said, 'It was a pity about your honeymoon, but I expect you'll be going back to America with Reid when he takes part in his next race.'
Casey looked across at Reid, her chin coming up challengingly. 'Are you going to take part in another race?'
Without hesitation, Reid said, 'Yes. At Sacramento, next week. Don't you remember, darling?' he added with honeyed sweetness. 'I did tell you.'
'So you did,' Casey answered, accepting the challenge. 'And I think I remember telling you that I wouldn't be going with you.'
The air between them was so charged with volatile electricity that no one could miss it, and Elaine and Richard were far from being unobservant. They looked at each other quickly, then Elaine brought Casey's coffee across and perched on the arm of her chair to chat, while Richard went over and sat with Reid. After a while the two men got up and went into Richard's study to look at some business papers and Elaine put on a video film of their last holiday. It was mostly of the children enjoying themselves on the beach or in the hotel paddling pool and their antics soon had Casey laughing.
Elaine turned to her with a smile. 'You like children, don't you?'
'Why, yes, I suppose so. I haven't really thought about it,' Casey admitted.
'But you and Reid intend to have children? My two would love some cousins to play with.'
Casey's face shadowed. 'We haven't got round to discussing it.'
'No, I don't think we did, either. It's one of those things you just take for granted as part of marriage, isn't it?' Casey turned her head away and didn't answer. She very much needed some other woman to confide in and ask for advice, but to do so with Reid's own sister seemed wrong somehow. Elaine gave her a searching look, then changed the subject by saying lightly, 'How are you settling in to your new business premises? Several of my friends have admired my sweater and asked me where I got it, by the way.'
So the conversation was safe again and everything was OK until the men came back and Reid took Elaine's place on the arm of Casey's chair. Quite deliberately he put an arm along the back and rested his hand on her shoulder, his thumb idly stroking the side of her neck. Casey stood it for about a minute and then jerked her head away and sat forward on the edge of the chair where he couldn't reach her, like a frightened bird prepared for flight.
A sour look crossed Reid's face. Getting to his feet, he said, 'It's time we were making a move. Thanks for your usual wonderful meal, Elaine, my love.'
They kissed each other goodbye and all walked out together to the car. Elaine walked round to Casey's side with her and said, 'Don't forget to come and see me any time you want some company or a chat, will you?'
Casey nodded and smiled, and it was only as they were drawing away that she realised there had been a meaningful tone in Elaine's voice. Did she suspect something? she wondered, and sighed; that wouldn't have been so difficult with all the tension in the atmosphere tonight. Especially after Reid had made that remark about her not wanting to discuss his racing. That rankled, and Casey burst out, 'Did you have to let Elaine and Richard know that we're having a disagreement about your racing?'
Reid gave a sardonic laugh. 'I would hardly call it a disagreement. Right now it seems to be an insurmountable barrier.'
'Call it what you like,' Casey snapped back. 'You still didn't have to let them know about it. It's private— between us.'
'Coming in between us, more like it.' Reid negotiated a turning into the main road. 'Look, do we have to go into this now? Can't it wait until…'
'No, it damn well can't,' she answered truculently. 'I want to know why you felt it necessary to…'
'AH right, damn it!' Reid shouted at her. 'I don't know why I said it. Everything just got on top of me, I suppose. Sitting there as if we were a pair of happy newly-weds, when all the time we're growing more and more away from each other, turning what should be a warm and loving relationship into—I don't know, into enmity almost.'
'It isn't my fault. You've only got to ..
'Oh no, of course it couldn't possibly be your fault,' Reid sneered, his mouth twisted sardonically.
'Why you…' Without thinking, Casey lashed out at him in fury, catching him on the side of the head.
The car swerved and another car coming in the opposite direction hooted in alarm.
Reid straightened the car and braked to a violent stop. Reaching out, he caught hold of her arms and shook her, his face dark, his voice seething with fury. 'You could have killed us both!' he yelled. 'Don't ever do that again, do you hear me?' He glared at her, his breathing ragged. 'Or I won't be answerable for the consequences.'
He let her go suddenly, almost pushing her away from him as if he found her obnoxious. Then, after one last smouldering look, started the car again and drove on.
Casey fell back against her seat, frightened not only by Reid's anger, but by the strength of her own anger that had made her hit out at him. It shook her to think that she could feel such rage, that she could be so violent. She turned her head towards the window and put her hands up to cover her face, too appalled even to cry. She just wasn't like that, she wasn't a violent kind of person at all. But that was what this tension and frustration was turning her into, she realised miserably. And if it was doing that to her, then what was it doing to Reid? Whether it was true or not, from what she had read and heard, Casey had always believed that a man's libido was far more active than a woman's, and she could only believe that Reid wanted her far more than she wanted him—and God, did she want him! It was like a chronic ache deep inside her, always there, yearning to be assuaged.
As soon as they reached the house Casey got out of the car and ran inside, leaving Reid to put the car away. He found her sitting in an armchair in the sitting-room, her hands gripping the arms. For a moment they just stared at each other until Casey said tightly, 'I'm not going to sleep with you tonight, Reid. I just can't. I'm sorry if it makes you mad, but I can't just lie there beside you all night again!'
He took an angry step towards her then stopped, seeing her drawn, set face and the dark circles under her eyes. 'Oh, what the hell's the use?' He lifted a tired hand to his forehead. 'All right, go in the spare room, then. At least maybe that way we'll be able to get some sleep. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Casey.'
'Goodnight.' But it wasn't until almost an hour after Reid had gone up that Casey finally dragged herself out of the chair and went up to try to get what sleep she could.
They were very polite to each other the next morning, both of them finding that it was the only way to survive. Luckily it was a working day and they were apart for most of it and, although the next day was Saturday and they normally wouldn't have worked, they each found that they had a great deal to do and went into wo
rk that day, too. On Saturday night they went to the theatre and managed to escape for a few blessed hours into the latest comedy hit, but as soon as they were alone again the friction returned, accentuated by the comparison.
They went upstairs and Casey went to walk into the spare room, but Reid put out a hand to stop her. Immediately she flinched away as if she couldn't bear his touch.
His face the grimmest she had ever seen it, Reid snarled, 'It's all right, I'm not going to force myself on you. You should know that by now. I merely wanted to tell you that I shall be leaving for America early tomorrow morning. If you want to use my car while I'm away, you'll have to drive me to the airport, otherwise I'll leave it in the car park there.'
'No, thank you,' Casey answered stiltedly. 'I can manage with my own car. What time is your flight?'
He gave a mirthless laugh that was heavy with self- irony. 'I haven't booked it yet. I just think it will be better for both of us if I go now instead of next week.' He looked at her, his face suddenly suffused with sadness. 'And God help me, but I don't think I can trust myself if I stay here any longer.'
When Casey awoke the next morning he was gone. The sound of his car woke her and she ran first to the window and then to his room. He had left it very neat, the bed made. When she pulled back the covers they were still warm. In a sudden orgy of despair Casey tore off her nightdress and fell into the bed, pressing her naked body fiercely against the sheets, trying to make his warmth a part of her if she could make nothing else, tears of unhappiness pouring down her face.
She went to work the following week mainly because she didn't want to be alone; even her motivation to work was dying now beneath her unhappiness, and she would sit idly at her machine or drawing-board, gazing unseeingly at the wall. But a couple of days later she had an unexpected visitor. There was a brief knock at her door and Elaine came in. 'Hello. I do hope you don't mind me dropping in. I've been dying to see where you work.'
'Of course not.' Casey recovered from her surprise and gave her sister-in-law a warm smile of welcome.
'Are you terribly busy?'
Looking down at the garment she was making, Casey realised that she had done hardly anything to it in the last hour. She shook her head. 'Would you like me to show you round?'
She did so diffidently at first, thinking that Elaine was just being polite, but she showed such a lively, intelligent interest that the two were soon talking in absorbed rapport, Elaine coming up with some marketing ideas that were really original. 'Perhaps I could help you a little on the sales side?' she suggested. 'Of course, it couldn't be until September; I'm tied to the house until the kids go back to school, but I'd really love to have an outside interest like this. That's if you don't mind, of course?'
'No, of course not. I'll be glad of some help. We'll work something out.'
'Have you got many orders?'
'Yes, quite a few. They're beginning to pile up a bit. I—I haven't felt terribly much like working lately. It's the summer, I suppose.'
Elaine gave her a quick look. 'Are you worrying about Reid?'
Casey's hands tightened on the ball of wool she was holding. 'Of course not. I'm sure he's quite capable of taking care of himself.'
'That's what all men say. But it doesn't stop us wives from worrying. I had a real go at Reid after his accident last year. I wanted him to retire from racing, but he assured me that it's much safer now.'
'Assurance is easy,' Casey said stiltedly. 'And very convenient—for Reid.'
'Oh, I didn't just take his word for it. I made him show me his new boat with the built-in safety-cell. I even made him take me to the place where they fit them and saw a couple of boats being deliberately crashed, but the drivers came up safe every time.'
So this was what Elaine had really come for, Casey thought angrily, to add her voice and persuasions to Reid's cause. 'I'm sure Reid will be pleased that you've come here on his behalf,' she began angrily, 'but I prefer to make up my own mind, thanks all the same.'
'I didn't,' Elaine put in swiftly. 'But I admit that I could see you were both far from happy, and it wasn't difficult to guess that Reid's addiction to racing is the cause. Good heavens, it's common enough. I know of half a dozen women who have left their husbands because they just can't take the stress of it any longer.'
Casey turned and stared at the older girl. 'You do?'
'Yes, and I don't blame you, Casey. But Reid has only had that one serious accident in about sixteen years. Because he's good, really good. And he wants to win the championship this year, very much. For himself, for his country—and for you.'
Tor me? Oh, no, I…'
'Yes, for you,' Elaine insisted. 'Because he loves you so much. No one has ever won the championship three times before, you see. I think he'd be very proud to give you that.'
'I don't want any damn championship!' Casey burst out. 'I just want him to be like any other man, and come home safely every night!'
'Then you shouldn't have married him,' Elaine said shortly, making Casey stare at her in astonishment. 'You knew that Reid raced before you married him, and he's not going to change. He loves racing too much. He's not going to quit before he's ready. Especially when he's worked so hard to bring in all the new safety rules. If he gave up now it would seem that he had no faith in the safety measures. That he was afraid, even. And that wouldn't be fair to him because he's the most fearless man I know.'
'I don't want a fearless man,' Casey said fiercely. 'I want a live one.'
Elaine's face hardened. 'Casey, you've got to come to terms with the fact that Reid's a man—the kind of man who has the nerve to risk his neck for a sport he loves. Would you really want him any other way? Would you really feel the same way about him if he submissively gave in to you and took up bowls or something instead?' She paused, but Casey wouldn't look at her. 'Do you think it didn't take courage for Reid to go back to racing after his accident? It did, but he's very sensible too; he made darned sure that he took every precaution he possibly could against it happening again.'
Casey shook her head. 'There's really no point in going on, Elaine. I realise that you're on his side and that you…'
'Oh, rubbish!' Elaine stamped her elegantly shod foot, 'I'm not on anyone's side. But it's plain to see that you're both in a highly emotional state. You both looked drawn and unhappy when you came over to see us. Look, I don't know what kind of threat you're holding over Reid, but you've only got to look in the mirror to see what it's doing to you. And don't you realise what you're doing to Reid? You're getting him into such an emotional state that he won't be able to concentrate and will have an accident anyway. Is that what you want, Casey?'
'No, of course not,' Casey said vehemently. 'But when my brother had that crash I could see that it could easily have happened to Reid. And if anything happened to him I couldn't bear it.'
Elaine nodded sadly. 'I can understand that. But you're not going to change him, Casey. Especially not this way. You've got to be as brave as he is. And if you go on with this—well, then I think you're going to have to be very careful you don't lose him altogether.'
She left then, leaving Casey staring after her with a stunned look on her face. She hadn't allowed herself to think that Reid wouldn't capitulate or what would happen if he didn't. She sat down, trying for the first time really to look into the future, only slowly realising that there just wasn't any future in the way they were heading. They would just put up more and more barriers, build thicker walls of icy politeness until they froze out the love they had had for each other and found that they were happier apart. Casey's own heart grew cold at the prospect and she reluctantly began to ponder over what Elaine had said.
Reid still rang her every night, although they had less and less to say to each other, but when he rang that evening, Casey said abruptly, 'Elaine came to see me at the warehouse today. Did you send her?'
Reid's voice was immediately wary. 'No. Why, what did she say?'
'An awful lot about you. About raci
ng. About how she wanted you to give it up and you wouldn't. It seems that you don't listen to anyone who loves you.'
'Do you love me, Casey?'
Her voice broke. 'You know I do. But when I ask you—beg you to give up racing you just get angry with me. You're angry with me for loving you, for wanting you to live.'
Reid was silent for such a long moment that for a few breathless seconds Casey thought that she had won, that he was going to give in. But he sighed tiredly and said, 'Did Elaine say that she was still unhappy at my racing, that she still wants me to give it up?'
It was Casey's turn to be silent, wishing she could lie, but, 'No,' she admitted abruptly. 'She said you'd convinced her that it was safer.'
'No, not convinced, Casey,' Reid put in quickly, 'proved to her. I did for her what I've all along wanted to do for you; take you and show you a boat being crashed and how the new safety-cell and flotation system protects the driver. Will you let me do that, Casey? Will you? Please?'
Casey sighed wearily. 'Oh, I don't know. I just don't know. After your accident and Mark's, I don't see how I can ever have any peace of mind.'
'You will, sweetheart, I promise you,' Reid declared, a new note of hope in his voice. 'Look, don't worry about it now. I'll be home soon and we'll talk about it then.'
'When will you be home?'
'In a couple of days. I've just got to see that my boat is safely put on the plane back to England.'
'The race is over?'
'Yes.'
Casey hesitated and then, even though she only dimly realised it, took a tremendous step towards solving their problems. 'Did you win?'
Ultimatum Page 13
