“I know. Why don’t you rest and I can make dinner?”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t rest. I can’t even sleep. I haven’t slept properly since Sunday.”
“Brian, we need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. If only to keep our strength up.” Who knew what would be thrown at them next? She’d found it difficult to sleep, too, but what little rest she had had helped her to get through the last few days.
“I feel like I can’t do anything. Maybe it was best when Taylor didn’t know about me.”
She felt so bad when he said that. His words, and the somber expression on his face grabbed at her insides and twisted them into a knot.
She opened her mouth to speak but found she didn’t know what to say to him. So far Taylor’s behavior pointed towards the negative. Regina and Taylor had always been close and this was the first time that anything had pulled them apart. It was the first time that Regina couldn’t guess what she was thinking, or what Taylor’s next move would be.
“Maybe I should have stayed in the shadows, just for that.” Brian nodded and looked out towards the window. “After all, I hadn’t been in her life for years. Maybe she’s thinking why now.”
“She needed to know, Brian. The consequence doesn’t matter. What matters is the truth.” Truth had to matter. It had to take precedence of what made ignorance bliss.
Especially when it came to learning something as important as who your birth parents were. If Taylor chose never to speak to her again, then that was what Regina accepted. It was part of the choice she made when she decided to tell Taylor the truth. She knew there would be a cost, a price to pay that she may not like.
“We hurt her.” Brian raised his eyes to meet hers and rolled up the sleeves to his shirt. “We hurt her a lot.”
Her lips felt dry, parched even, just like her throat.
The soft twinkle of the doorbell interrupted their conversation. She wasn’t sure who that would be. Maybe it was Detective Fray. Maybe he had more information.
“I’ll get that.” She rose and made her way to the door, barely able to walk from the shakiness in her legs.
She opened the door and her heart soared at the sight of Taylor. Regina brought her hands up to her mouth as she looked her over. Taylor looked like her old self again. Her hair hung in loose curls about her elbows and sparkled under the soft porch light, which beamed down on her like a halo.
Her skin looked radiant and the olive-green Dior couture summer dress she wore complemented the sea green of her eyes.
“Hi, Mom. Can I come in?”
“Of course, I’m so sorry.” She apologized when she realized she was just staring at her.
Taylor came inside and Regina locked the door.
As she returned her gaze to Taylor, she hoped with everything in her that this would be a good visit and not one where she was coming to tell her she didn’t want to see her again.
Taylor looked her over with caution. “I’m sorry, I know it’s been days but…I needed time. I just…needed time.”
Regina nodded, understanding. “I wish that things could have been different and you could have known sooner. It doesn’t mean I didn’t respect your feelings, and it doesn’t mean you weren’t loved by us all.” It was an attempt to support her defense, and Brian’s. The only person who knew the truth and used it maliciously was Ben. As much as he loved Taylor, he still thought of himself first and what would benefit him.
She’d thought about what he said and all that he’d gone through in this attempt to be governor. To be the state’s attorney, he did indeed need his family. They made him look good.
“I know. I know that, and I understand.” Taylor pressed her lips together for a moment and sighed. “You do everything out of love, and I don’t know what it must have been like for you back then, but I can only imagine.”
Regina’s eyes filled with tears as she observed the understanding on Taylor’s face. She was in awe at the greatness of her heart. This was the Taylor she knew. Her angelic daughter who had the biggest heart, and unimaginable amounts of love that flowed from her heart.
“I’m still sorry,” Regina confessed.
“Don’t be, I forgive you. I do.”
At that moment, Brian stepped out into the corridor. He’d only been a breath away in the living room, and hopefully heard what they’d said. Taylor looked at him and pulled in a soft breath.
They both looked at each other. Brian looking weaker than she’d ever seen him and Taylor looking like she was about to cry.
“That’s, um…a pretty dress.” Brian lifted his hand and pointed to her dress. Whenever he got the chance to see Taylor he always complimented her, but it felt like it was him trying to take what he could of the precious time they had and make it count by filling it with memories of good things said.
“Thank you, it’s…it’s…” Taylor couldn’t finish.
Regina watched the scene she’d hoped for for so many years unfold before her.
True happiness, deep and fulfilling, coursed through her when Taylor rushed towards Brian and threw her arms around him.
Elation suffused her being as Brian glanced over at Regina, looking like he couldn’t believe what was happening.
Happiness and guilt rippled through her for what she’d done to him.
He held Taylor as if he never wanted to let her go, and she was the same.
“My little girl,” Brian said into Taylor’s hair, and she nodded.
Regina smiled, feeling hope warm her heart. There was so much going on still but this was one thing, one moment she’d savor forever.
Chapter 13
Chloe
She was just finishing up at Runway. It was late and she didn’t plan to stay past five but so many things kept happening during the day to push back her time.
She shut down her computer and started clearing the mess she made on her desk. Once that was done she’d head home to Wade.
Ten more minutes then she’d leave.
He wanted to speak to her tonight. She knew what he was going to say was important to him, and she wanted to have a fresh mind. It had taken him weeks, months even to get to this point.
The least she could do is not be too tired. She was eager to hear what had happened to him, and eager to support him. Last night, she’d had that same eagerness but they were both so drained by the events of the last few weeks that she felt they needed time to just be a couple.
To be honest, maybe she was guilty of selfishness. She was drained out from everything and wanted to grab a piece of normal. She wanted to go back to weeks ago when she was just trying to work out her feelings for Wade and trying to secure the job of her dreams.
Today she was thinking about it, and again felt selfish for dwelling on the fact that she hadn’t been able to enjoy the two things she’d wanted most in life.
“Wow, this is where she works,” a voice she recognized said. Chloe lifted her head expecting to see one of her work colleagues but was stunned to see Merissa.
“How did you get in here?” Chloe straightened up and glared at her. These offices were off limits to visitors.
“Friends in high places, with mad skills.” Merissa smiled, tossing her long dark locks over her shoulder.
“I’m calling security.”
“You do that. I’ll just look around and make myself at home until then.”
Chloe continued to glare at her, appalled by the confidence she exuberated. Who did she think she was?
But, more importantly, what was she doing here, and why was she following Chloe?
“What do you want?” Chloe asked.
Merissa laughed a dark, uncanny laugh that made Chloe’s skin crawl. “We all want something in the end, don’t we?”
“Apparently, and you seem to want to follow me around like a little lapdog.”
She laughed again. “You rich types are all the same.”
“I’m not rich,” Chloe retorted.
“No? Don’t
you live in that grand beach house in Malibu? That big house that overlooks the sea.” The minute she said that Chloe felt her knees wobble. Fright swept through her.
Was Merissa the psycho? Was she?
“Is it you?” Chloe gasped. The momentary panic made her feel lightheaded. “Did you try to kill Taylor?”
“No. That was not me. That was someone else entirely.” Merissa smiled. “I wish I had his skills, though.”
God in heaven. Merissa knew who it was. She knew.
“Who is he?” Chloe demanded.
“Not telling,” she teased. “It’s entertaining to watch you all scramble around like rats,” she hissed, lingering on the edge of the last syllable. “Vermin. That’s what you are, and like vermin you deserve to be exterminated.”
“You think Taylor deserves to die!?” Chloe cried. Clearly this woman was completely crazy.
“I don’t know her, so I can’t say, but if she’s anything like Wade then I’d have to say yes.”
All Chloe could do was stare at her. “You think Wade deserves to die?”
Merissa didn’t even flinch as Chloe continued to stare. “Yes.” She smiled.
“Why? “Chloe balked at her, determined to stand her ground and not get scared, even though terror rippled through her.
Merissa walked up to her, coming right up into her face. Then she cried, “I want revenge.”
The intensity of her voice and the desperation that echoed within it weakened Chloe. She felt it ripple through her and spark every nerve in her body.
“Why?” Chloe asked, her voice barely audible.
“Wade Vanderville, your beloved boyfriend, took advantage of me and treated me like I was nothing.”
“You’re bitter because he broke up with you?”
“No, Chloe,” she said. “I’m not just some bitter ex, I was the mother of his child.”
Numbness washed over her and her flesh prickled. Chloe stared at Merissa and tried to stop herself from shaking.
Wade had a child?
Her Wade?
“Yes, me. I was the mother of his child. He didn’t care about either of us. I was barely six months pregnant, and he thought it was okay to drive me in a car while he was stoned.” She balled her fists and punched out at the air. “He crashed the car and our baby had to be delivered way too early. It was too early, too soon, and I had to watch my son die. My baby.”
As Chloe looked at her she no longer saw the revenge-filled menacing person she took Merissa for. She saw someone in great pain. Someone Wade had hurt deeply.
Chloe couldn’t believe it. She just couldn’t believe it. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She was shaking too much.
“That is who Wade Vanderville is. That is the kind of man you are with.”
Merissa moved away and turned to go back the way she came.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe managed.
Merissa stopped and turned to face her but she didn’t say anything. She just turned again and continued on her way.
Chloe sank down into her chair and tried to stop herself from shaking.
“Wade.” She pulled in a sharp breath. That was what he wanted to tell her.
She closed her eyes against the tears that filled her eyes and recalled the warnings she’d had from her mother and Wes.
She was told to be careful, to jump ship at the first sign of trouble, to remember that Wade was a Vanderville and something was always going on with those people. That was what Wes said.
Her life had been turned upside down since Wade’s return. She’d gone through too much and this was…this was the last straw.
It was the straw that would break her back.
Wade
The minute Wade stepped into the house he knew something was wrong.
He found Chloe in the living room, sitting on the sofa looking ghostly pale with a desolate expression on her face, and her skin looked blotchy and puffy like it did when she’d been crying.
He looked her over, ready to rush to her side and find out what was wrong, but what stopped him was the suitcase he saw just by her, next to the sofa.
His eyes met hers, and as he looked into those beautiful eyes he loved so much he knew that he was about to lose her again.
She stood up.
“I spoke to Merissa,” she began.
He pressed down hard on his lips and tried to steady himself. “What did she tell you?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?” He wondered what that entailed because Merissa’s version of what happened was very different to his.
“She told me about your baby, and how he died. She said it was your fault. Is that true?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. That was something he would always accept. It was truth. The accident was his fault.
Tears ran down Chloe’s cheeks. “You were stoned, Wade? You thought it was okay to drive your pregnant girlfriend while you were stoned?” She looked at him in disbelief, hurt written all over her face.
“No, I wasn’t stoned.” He shook his head. “And I would never think that something like that was okay. When I was with Merissa I always tried to do everything I could to take care of her. I tried, and I was willing to sacrifice everything I wanted to be with someone I had no feelings for. I wanted our child to be raised by two parents and in a good home. I wanted him to have everything he deserved.” This was hard. It wasn’t how he imagined telling Chloe.
“So, what happened, Wade?”
“We were at this party. We were about to leave and the guy I usually got my supply from approached me to discuss a sale. I went with him and he offered me some of the drugs he rigged up. I told him no, but he blew it in my face and I inhaled it by accident. I had no idea that I was going to be affected by it, so I drove and I crashed the car with Merissa and our unborn child. I won’t excuse my guilt because I know it’s my fault. But it’s important that you know what happened. I wanted to tell you.”
She brought her hand up to her head and pulled in a breath. He looked at her hoping that she believed him, hoping that she’d understand, but there was no trace of his Chloe in the woman who stood before him. She’d looked drained last night but now she looked sapped of everything that made her her.
“Chloe…”
“It’s terrible.” She released a sharp breath. “It’s just… I can’t imagine how I’d feel if something like that happened to me.”
“It wouldn’t. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I was trying to stop and I shouldn’t have had any dealings with anyone who could prevent me from stopping.” That is the part that he blamed himself for. If he didn’t know George then there wouldn’t have been any problem. The accident wouldn’t have happened. That was the direct link of causation. It didn’t matter that Wade hadn’t taken the drug himself. What mattered was that he knew George; if he hadn’t gone off with him then nothing bad would have happened. “You have to believe that I didn’t set out to put myself or her in a position where something could go wrong. I would never.”
If he didn’t believe that for himself over the years, then there would be no point in living.
Her face softened a little and she closed her eyes for a few seconds.
“It’s too much,” she muttered. “Everything’s…too much.”
“You’re leaving me.” He just thought he should say it because it was obvious. There was no point pussyfooting around what was staring him in his face.
“I need a break.”
A break. He was certain that was what people said when they didn’t have the heart to end a relationship. Chloe wore her heart on her sleeve, and he knew she would never hurt him.
“I’m going to France to stay with my parents for a while.”
“France?” He narrowed his eyes and inclined his head to the side, assessing her. It grieved him to think that she felt so bad that she’d have to go that far. On the other side of the globe far. Not just that, what about Runway? “But, you just started yo
ur new job at Runway. Nothing’s more important to you than that.”
A cynical laugh escaped her lips and more tears streamed down her cheeks. “God, how I wish that was true. Before you came back I was certain that all I wanted in life was to be the creative director at Runway. I was so certain. And then you came along and I realized that the stupid job was nothing in comparison to how I felt about you.”
A weight settled on his heart as he listened to her and his throat tightened up. She’d told him she loved him several times, but this was the first time that he’d seen it and felt it for himself. He knew the importance she placed on her job at Runway, knew that she’d literally shaped her life around getting it, and she just talked about it as if it were meaningless to her.
“Chloe, I love you. Please stay. I know we can work this out.” He had to try. He couldn’t just allow her to leave without trying his best to make her stay.
“I love you too, Wade, but right now it’s not enough.”
“What do you mean? Chloe, it should be enough.”
His hopes plummeted when she shook her head and he felt empty inside. Hollow.
“It’s not, because there’s too much going on right now. I’ve been through so much in the last few months and I don’t have the strength for this. It’s made worse by the fact that this news of you and Merissa has deeply hurt me. I feel terrible for you both, and I can’t imagine what you must have gone through. I can’t imagine what pain you must have felt. But what hurts me was that you were with her, and you had a child with her.”
“Chloe, that was well before I was with you. You shouldn’t be hurt by that.”
“I know, and it may look stupid to you. It may seem foolish to someone else, but not for me. Year in, year out, I watched you choose one girl after another. From as long as I’ve known you you’ve always been with someone. People who I saw as better than me, because you never chose me. From as far back as I can remember I have always felt the same way about you, I just suppressed it because it was madness to want someone who would never want you.”
He didn’t know what to say. When he was younger he was the typical guy who loved women too much. He wasn’t that person anymore.
Secrets and Lies Page 18
