It was a gigantic office, bigger than most for a clinical psychiatrist but Dr. Dirk Hayward had a big ego, and considerable psyche’s required immense quarters. He was mostly proud of his bulky comfortable couches and oblong daybed. The divan his patients could conveniently position on (or what most employees thought) conducts sexual acts on top of. He was a curt, bald, stocky man in a rich community of other specialists, nurses, orderlies, assistants, security and resident staff. He was never sympathetic to others, he treated all his patients callously, all but one—Amber Sanchez. She wasn’t considered mental or even had a psychological problem; she was just a woman troubled. But oh how he loved being in the same room with her. She was a natural beauty, exotic appearance, silky raven hair that fell across her shoulders, blushing pink lips, tone voluptuous figure, he loved staring at her while she thought he was listening...
Amber laid her body down on the brown tweed couch and gazed up at the smooth white ceiling above her. She was a space case, whatever that term meant and oftentimes heard that term floating around the halls of the Palm Desert Treatment Center perfectly located within the serene desert of Indio County, California. She was a momentary guest (until she felt she was well enough to check out) at the final destination of the mess of her life. Slashing her wrist didn’t help. Amber was so uncertain, constantly crying, deeply depressed…and the days past quickly inside. In a blink of an eye the days turned into sixteen months incarcerated. Her kids grew up without her. Coming to visit for thirty minutes at a time, but Amber was so low, no visible life in her face, her mother would gather them up, and say politely, “Well, we’d better go now, mom looks tired.” And off they went.
Never mind what she thought might be happening in their lives. Her son Adrian was turning twelve, her daughter Valentina, getting so tall. What they thought about their mother living in a mental establishment was incomprehensible. Never mind what her own mother thought and the reason she was there in the first place. It didn’t matter; she didn’t care, because Amber found an O-U-T. She found the ideal way of not facing the actuality, what reality was and where her mind and body lie. It was perfect really. Not being able to confront the faces that respected and loved her so, trusted in her, relaxed with her easiness, never making waves in their little group. It was simple, an exact answer to all the endless questioning. How to get out...how to avoid Eduardo...how to avoid Leticia...how to face the facts...how to face responsibility...how to face her husband...to encounter his relatives...all the questions of how, where, when and why! She would be considered irrational and the reaction of hate would turn into sympathy. She would no longer need an excuse; the defense was mapped out for her. She was now just an opinion inside everyone’s heads, instead of the obvious, the source of his or her gossip. She would be set free, let go from all the attention, and she would be shielded, defended of her irrational behavior and after spending several months with Dr. Hayward, Amber realized it stemmed from not having a father. That void of always trying to be the good girl. Daddy’s wanted to see their good girls. They don’t leave the good girls behind, just the bad ones, and good girls face their responsibilities and Amber thought the solution was to not face the responsibility of what happened, therefore, she was a bad girl. She was forever trying to please everyone, hated confrontations and avoided them at all costs. This too, stemmed from not having a father, Dr. Hayward would point out. Amber’s behavior was immoral, and to make sure her Father Figure stayed awhile, she was pleasing to him. Agreeing with everything Eduardo asked she didn’t want him to leave. But he did leave; he had his own agenda, and according to Dr. Hayward, Amber’s prognosis was ‘fear of abandonment’.
Amber closed her eyes, on the verge of a pleasant sleep when Dr. Hayward’s voice came ringing through her peaceful climate. “Let’s talk about your brother-in-law, let’s talk about Eduardo.”
Amber let his name sink in.
Eduardo…
Eduardo A. Sanchez, Attorney- At- Law.
Memories flood her heart, her brain, just the mere mention of his name sent Amber over the edge of compulsion. “I’m ready Dr. Hayward.”
Dr. Hayward was confused, “Beg your pardon?”
Amber arched her back and tried to get comfortable. Her bosoms stretched out the fabric on her T-shirt. “I think I’m ready to see him now.”
“You think you are?” Dr. Hayward asked, gazing away from his pencil and writing pad to survey Amber’s profile lying on his comfortable couch. She was beautiful, unique. Her indigo hair draped off the side of a square pillow, so silky, so touchable. He sat up straight, noticed Amber curving her back to get cozy again. His intentions are devious; he knows this to be true. He’s a sick individual. Demented. No, not sick in that sense, enough to be a patient of his, but infected in the way he lusted after Amber constantly, calling her into his office for no reason at all but to smell her. Amber’s affair was enthralling; her description of it intense. He loved to hear her explain the reasons behind it all, oftentimes keeping her away from other sessions. “Amber,” he let out clearing his throat, shuffling his legs around, trying to calm his feeble erection. “I can call him today if you’d like.”
“The sooner the better,” Amber expressed with anticipation.
“Good, ‘cause I’m afraid I can no longer continue to make excuses for you not to see him. He’s a very stubborn man,” he gave out exasperated feeling his sore jaw. Even though he loved ogling her, she was still a patient—a sufferer who was mulish as hell. Amber arrived in an unconscious state. She was unaware of the occurrences of even the past year. The Behavioral Health Department determined that she wasn’t a threat to society or even to herself, so when Dr. Hayward felt it was time for Amber to leave, she fought against it. It was Amber who felt the need to remain in the realm of safekeeping. To be fed, bathed, consoled, harbored, protected, concealed and looked after. This was a private treatment center, with well over five hundred staff members willing and able to come running to a patient’s beck and call. And, who was he to complain? Her stay here was paid for—and the facility didn’t come cheap. No, Amber had a rich benefactor, someone who loved her deeply enough to sign the monthly five-figured checks.
Dr. Hayward placed down his pencil and writing pad again, clicked on a nearby voice recorder. Put it in position to start recording. “Eduardo has something to tell you...it’ll be good for you to face him.”
Amber’s whole body froze. He has something to tell her? Good Lord, what could it be? Does she truly want to come face to face again with the man that forced her there? Tears began to pour down her eyes.
Dr. Hayward took note of the misery streaming down her face. It was a dissimilar reaction to what he’d been used to. Amber was known to throw such fits of anguish; tossing everything in sight she could get a hold of. The orderly’s would be called and she would have to be sedated, placed in a harness and barreled out of his office. No, Amber was releasing this time. This was a definite sign of improvement. Finally, she was beginning to accept her past, embrace her demons.
But what was this? Amber’s tears turned into huge sobs of torment. She rolled over into the crevice of the couch and cried her heart out. “It’s been over a year and half,” Dr. Hayward expressed vigorously, “Meeting Eduardo will be a definite sign of recovery.”
“I’m not recovered,” Amber cried out suddenly, sitting up straight. Dr. Hayward began slowly putting some of his breakable items back into a nearby box. Amber clutched her hands around the pillow puncturing the tight fabric. “Dr. Hayward...I changed my mind.”
When she gave him that expression it caused him to dampen his pants. He was mush around her. He wanted to gather her body up and rock her sometimes, console her, cuddle her anxiety away. “No,” he chuckled, “You can’t agree to something then do an about face. I’ll give him a call, he’ll be glad to hear from me finally. I’m tired of having to send him away. He’s beneficial to your stay here, and as your doctor, and mostly as your friend, it would be a good idea to finally meet with him
.”
Amber wiped away her tears. Her rage subsided. Dr. Hayward served as the strong figure in her life and she did what she was told. And just like that, she felt her head nodding confirmation.
The following day, Amber sat quietly outside waiting for her visitor along with the other patients. Unlike most treatment centers, Amber was allowed to wear her own clothes. She never dressed up, always wore what was most available and soft, sweats and a T-shirt.
Amber was tense, nervous, and kept eyeing the glass patio doors while other patients around her visited with their loved ones, unintentionally clouding her view. What was she going to say to him? She hadn’t seen him for over a year and a half. Sixteen months and fourteen days to be exact—the exact day of the motel room. Oh God, she just thought about it again, she didn’t want to, but it just happened. Amber brought her hand up to close her eyes. Now why did she think about that? It just slipped right in. The motel room, Eduardo and her are making love. Oh no, it happened again. OH NO! Not again, go away, make it go away. She had been safe for so long, coming out of the coma into a safeguarded world, going through her daily routine with ease, not wanting to talk to anyone if she didn’t want to or feel like it; only talking to Dr. Hayward, who, in his own way, was a sheltered haven. He could have been a priest, a teacher, her boss, or her father. He was helping her come out of a bad situation, and she respected him.
And then she saw him...
Her brother-in-law entered an area like no other and her heart saluted at just the mere sight of him. Sauntering down the sidewalk…dressed in a dark brown suit, beige tie and cream-colored dress shirt. Her favorite colors on him. He knew that, he did, damn him. Amber felt her throat close up the moment his eyes met hers.
A nurse showed him the way towards the outdoor visitor’s courtyard, and Eduardo began, which seemed like an endless walk, towards Amber. Along the way were splendid views of the landscape and facility beyond. Individual one-bedroom one-bath bungalows set amongst grassy fields of Sego and King Palms, a tropical array of desert terrain, with patios of cobblestone concrete and stone waterfalls. A personal domain for each patient, and that warmed his heart. He came in closer, sat down next to her and gently grabbed her hand.
Oh God, don’t touch me! Her heart yelled out, but her body didn’t react that way, her flesh wanted more. More, more, MORE! Oh God…please, pretty please…oh God please…no more. Her heart dropped into her stomach, tears swelled within her hazel eyes, she bit down on her lower lip trying ever so hard to make them subside . . .
Thirty-Four
Hello? Remember Me?
Eduardo’s legs nearly buckled from underneath him the moment he reached her side. Instantly he noticed she had cut her hair, but it endured a silky black. Wearing no makeup, dressed in a plain white T-shirt and light gray sweats, she was the most radiant creature God ever created.
Eduardo reached for her hand and gently grabbed it. Just the slightest touch sent electricity throughout his entire body. Tears swarmed his eyes at once, remembering when he came into contact with her he would soon forget how to let go.
He brought her palm up to his mouth and gently kissed the scar on her wrist. “Amber, I’m sorry...please forgive me,” Eduardo confessed wholeheartedly choking back further agony noticing her tears. Amber slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. Simultaneously, releasing huge sobs of relief, they clutch each other fierce and cry from the anticipation of seeing one another again—bawl from the realization of what brought them to that point.
“I’ve been a so selfish,” Eduardo confessed, wiping the moisture away from his eyes. “I wanted to mask our affair, I know now what I demanded came with a price, seeing you dying in the hospital, you taught me a lesson.” Eduardo brought her palm up to his mouth and kissed her scar once more. “Wherever you were, I wanted to be with you. I’ve never been so petrified in all my life. I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, Dr. Hayward asked me not to, but I think you should know that I was going to leave her. I know how to seduce a woman,” he snickered, rubbing her hand. “I know how to break-up without any complications, but when it comes to maintaining a relationship, I’m still a trainee. I just needed a shove...and when you left, you ram me down. I was going to make us legitimate Amber—you’re all I ever wanted and Good God, I never thought you’d do what you did.” Eduardo kissed her palm over and again; tears rolled down his cheeks instantly. “I’ve been at your bedside since I brought you here and prayed each night that you’d be healthy once you awoke and that you’d still love me. Seeing you now and those tears in your eyes, I know that you still do. I don’t need my family Amber…I need you...You were meant for me and I always take care of what’s mine. We’re going to wake up in each other’s arms, eat breakfast in bed and hold hands on the beach. I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.” Eduardo kissed her scar for the last time and turned her hand over to slip a 3-Carat Radiant Cut diamond solitaire on her finger. “I want you forever Amber and we’re flying to Vegas this weekend to make it official.”
Amber was still in awe that his body was even sitting next to hers! A weak smile embraced her face while tears continued to run down her cheeks. She finally gazed down at the ring and spread her fingers out to admire the precious stone.
“Do you know how long I’ve owned that ring?” Eduardo beamed at her. “I bought it the day before you married my brother.”
Amber returned his happiness and giggled. It had been a long time. Eduardo Sanchez had been the man in her dreams. When Dr. Hayward told her who paid for her support, made sure she was comfortable, she knew she would never forget this wonderful human being; throughout all her therapy, both pleasing and unfavorable, she probably never would. Sessions so arduous, other patients around her were so engrossed. Had it not happen to Amber she would have never believed it was true. That a couple like them would endure that long, worship extensively; desire to be with each other even now.
Amber continued to shed tears. Eduardo reached for a nearby tissue box and tore one away and gently wiped the misery aside.
“I don’t need diamonds Eduardo,” Amber spurted, grabbing his arm moving in closer to him, “I only need you.”
“Good God…just hold me,” Eduardo mouthed, embracing her body. “Now do you believe me when I say I love you?”
“Yes,” Amber expressed, breaking apart from him.
“I love you to extreme,” he gushed, holding her face within his hands. “I want to be with you until one of us draws our last breath. Do you hear me? You were put on this earth for me and I will never abandon you.”
Eduardo couldn’t withstand his mania any longer and lightly drew his mouth towards hers. Amber kissed Eduardo foremost with sweet impulsiveness before long returned his frenzy tenfold.
Eduardo forced himself away; he wanted to make love to her right then and there! He whispered in her ear, “You are going to marry me, right?”
“Yes.”
Still aroused, he voiced, “Good, ‘cause there’s someone I really want you to meet.”
Apprehensive all of a sudden, Amber brought the ring up to her face and continued to dab her eyes with Kleenex. What did he just say? The range of emotions he just divided, giddiness was now mixed well with skepticism. Someone? What does that mean? What happened to him while she was unconscious? Who did he meet?
Eduardo waved at the windows beyond and Amber watched him as he stood up and became removed from her. She wanted to grab him back—why was he withdrawing? Her heart jumped out of her skin. She was just offered the most comforting words of encouragement to finally feel steady enough to walk out of medical care when Eduardo selfishly plucked the solace away?
Amber was startled by the sight of her mother entering first and didn’t notice Sheila leading a small hand out the glass doorway. Amber brought her eyes down towards the toddler and practically exploded.
Good Lord, who was that!?
Eduardo knelt to the ground and rested his torso on top of his heels and Amber went pale with sh
ock as Eduardo opened up his broad arms and invited the little boy into them.
Once the boy was within Eduardo’s clasping, Amber gazed up at her mother skeptically. Amber didn’t know what was going on, she was utterly confused and was trying to catch her breath.
“Oh baby,” Sheila exclaimed, reaching out for Amber and gathering her body in for a hug. “I’m so sorry for having kept it from you but we asked Dr. Hayward not to tell you until the timing were right.”
Amber went motionless—she was stunned. She eyed Eduardo again; he had scooped the little boy up within his arms and held him tenderly confined.
Amber wanted to be glad for him, she did, but all she felt was heartache. Did Leticia have another child when she was in a coma? Thank God Eduardo made sure to soften the blow by offering to get married before...before...Good Lord, he introduced his son. Amber could tell the boy was his. The toddler had Leticia’s coal black hair and unmistakable green eyes like the both of them. He looked just like Kyra when she was little. The toddler was obviously at ease with his dad; the youngster laid his head on Eduardo’s chest and bore right into Amber’s eyes sucking his thumb.
“Amber, you OK?” Eduardo asked, concerned that Amber’s face went pale.
Sheila continued to caress her daughter’s hair, “Baby, you feeling all right?”
Amber shot looks at the both of them. No, she didn’t feel all right, no, she wasn’t OK!
Eduardo and Sheila both glanced at one another.
“Maybe we should hold off telling her,” Eduardo expressed dejected.
“Maybe you’re right,” Sheila agreed, continually caressing Amber’s tresses.
Unsuitable Obsession - Part One Page 26
