Sophie jumped out of her seat. ‘STOP! Both of you, just stop it!’ she shouted. ‘Do you want the world to know the truth about what you did? Do you want people to know that you were neglectful and you are a kidnapper?’ She shook a finger from one mother to the other. ‘Do you want this to get out so people can call us freaks?’
The two women sank back into their chairs, shocked at Sophie’s outburst.
‘I’m sick of the fighting and blaming,’ Sophie continued, in a calmer tone. ‘It’s getting us nowhere. I need you to stop hating each other. You have to find a way to forgive and move on. You can’t chop me in two and have half each. I’m a person, and I want both of you in my life. You are both my mothers – so get used to it. I’ve had to.’
Anna looked at this angry person and saw that Sophie had changed irrevocably. She was no longer her little girl. Her innocent, sweet, gentle child was a wounded, hurt and furious woman. And she had every right to be. She had been let down by everyone in her life. Anna needed to help her daughter. She needed to make this easier for Sophie. After all, wasn’t true love all about compromise and sacrifice?
Anna cleared her throat and turned to Laura. ‘I’m sorry for what I did. But at the time I honestly thought it was the right thing. I thought she was in real danger. But I can see the heartache and pain I caused and I’m sorry for that.’
Laura’s head was bent. She twisted her bracelets around her wrist. ‘I’ve tried to forgive you, for Sophie’s sake, but I’m not there yet. I don’t think I will be for a very long time. You stole my baby and for seventeen years I had no idea whether she was dead or alive. I admit that I was partly to blame. I was a mess at the time and I have to take responsibility for my own actions. But whichever way I look at it, you taking my daughter, kidnapping my baby, was wrong.’
‘I –’ Anna went to speak but Laura raised her hand to stop her.
She looked up at Sophie, her beautiful Sophie. Clenching her fists she said, ‘I’ve not finished. Although I haven’t forgiven you, I will say this. You did a great job bringing her up. She is an incredible girl. I’m going to take some genetic credit for that, but I can see that you were a very good mother. She seems to have had a very happy life in London and I’m glad. I’m glad she was treasured and loved the way she deserved to be.’ Laura’s voice began to quiver. ‘Those files you sent me were … well … incredible. I know that if I want to keep Sophie in my life I have to accept you too. You come as part of the package.’
Anna bit her lip. ‘I really appreciate you saying that.’
Sophie’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. ‘You see? That wasn’t so hard.’
Anna and Laura avoided eye contact. This conversation was one of the most difficult things they had ever endured.
Sophie shuffled about in her seat. ‘So, I’ve made a few decisions regarding next year.’
‘Are you going to take up your place in art college?’ Anna prayed Sophie would say yes.
‘No. I called them and deferred it for a year.’
‘But – but you wanted to go so badly.’ Anna was devastated. Sophie had been ecstatic when she had been offered her place.
‘That was before all this happened,’ Sophie pointed out. ‘This is not a decision I’ve made lightly but it’s a decision that I’m happy with. I’ve decided to spend the year commuting between London and Killduf. I want to spend time with my new family and also with you. I want the time and space to sort out my head. I need to process everything that’s happened and, hopefully, next year I’ll be ready to start my course and the next chapter of my life.’
‘I thought you’d stay here for a year and paint full time with me.’ Laura looked crushed.
Sophie took her hand. ‘I’ll be here tons and there’ll be plenty of time to paint together – I know you can teach me so much. I can’t wait to learn more from you.’
‘Do you think she’s talented as an artist?’ Anna asked.
Laura nodded. ‘I think she’s quite brilliant. She has a real gift.’
Sophie flushed with pleasure.
Anna smiled. ‘I thought so, but I wasn’t sure. Art isn’t my forte.’
Sophie was so talented, beautiful, young and fragile. Laura knew she had to stop fighting Anna or she’d lose Sophie. She had to accept that Anna was part of Sophie’s life and, although she hated it, if she kept pushing Anna away, she’d only end up hurting the one person she wanted to protect. For Sophie’s sake, she had to find a way to tolerate this woman. She looked up at Anna. ‘Well, you encouraged Sophie, which is the most important thing for a young artist.’
Anna looked out over the glittering sea. Let go, she urged herself, let go for Sophie’s sake. You owe it to her. Do it for her. ‘You know, Laura, I spent my life dreading Sophie finding out she wasn’t mine, and these last few weeks have been horrendous, but I believe now that it’s a good thing she found you. Sophie needs to know who she is. You can teach her so much about art and talk to her about synaesthesia – and now she has the sister she always wanted too. I miss her terribly but I know she’s happy here, safe and loved. It makes it a little easier to let go.’
‘I want to be generous. I want to tell you I forgive your actions, but I can’t. There was too much pain. But I can see that you loved her and cared for her and she’s turned out to be a wonderful person.’
‘Thank you,’ Sophie said, kissing them both on the cheek. ‘Thanks for trying. That’s all I ask.’
She called the others over, and they gathered around the garden table, fidgeting uncomfortably. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.
Sophie took a deep breath. ‘I’ve done a lot of thinking and planning and plotting over the last few weeks and I’ve come to a few decisions. One is to divide this next year between London and Killduf.’
There were murmurs of approval all round.
‘The other is how to explain this mess to the rest of the world.’
‘Oh, my God, have you decided to tell?’ squealed Holly. ‘Can I call Max Clifford? This is going to be huge!’
‘No, Holly! Not now or ever. I’ve come up with a story that will protect my two mothers. It will keep Anna out of prison and Laura’s neglect a secret. I need to thank Frank, Joan and Laura for helping me with the details but especially Frank, because he’s the one who has the most to lose in this.’
‘What’s going on?’ Anna froze.
‘It’s all right,’ Joan assured her.
Frank smiled at Sophie. ‘From this day forth, I will be Sophie’s biological father. We’ll be telling everyone that I had a brief fling and Sophie is the result. I had no idea she existed until she turned up on my doorstep a few weeks ago. The fact that she looks the image of my sister Laura and has her talent as an artist, along with synaesthesia, can be explained away by genetics. Sophie said that Anna told her friends in London that Sophie was the result of a fling, so it all ties up relatively neatly. The real story can never get out. Only the people here know the truth and it has to stay that way to protect Laura, Anna and Sophie.’
‘It’s flippin’ genius, that is,’ Lexie said. ‘Cos if the media got hold of the real story, you’d all be dragged to Hell and back. I’ve had a taste of it with my divorce and, let me tell you, those tabloid hacks are a vicious lot.’
Anna blinked and tried to process the information. Sophie came over to her. ‘Do you see? It’s the only way we can explain my turning up like this without everyone knowing you stole me or that Laura abandoned me. I hate having to lie, but it’s the only way I can protect you both.’
Anna saw that Sophie wanted to shield her from harm. She had spent her life protecting Sophie and now the daughter was defending the mother. The child had become the adult. ‘Thank you,’ she muttered.
‘Are you absolutely sure?’ Holly asked Sophie. ‘We could have had such fun making a movie.’
Sophie smiled. ‘Yes, Holly, we are sure, and you are sworn to secrecy for ever.’
Holly crossed her heart. ‘I’ll never breath
e a word of it. Not even if I’m tortured on one of those waterboard things.’
‘Well, Frankie, it’s official, darlin’, you’re a knight in shinin’ armour … and a daddy!’ Lexie giggled.
‘He was always selfless,’ Joan said.
Laura hugged her brother. ‘He’s the best.’
‘Oh, God!’ Mandy groaned. ‘This is so hard! The amount of material I have for incredible lyrics is unreal but now I can’t use any of it.’
‘Thank Christ for that.’ Frank grinned.
‘There’s one last thing.’ Sophie hopped nervously from one foot to the other.
‘More? You’re turning into quite the drama queen.’ Mark chuckled.
Anna wasn’t sure she could take any more. She felt weak and her head was spinning. She leaned against Joe, whose strong arms held her upright.
Laura closed her eyes. Everything was green, dark green, as fear gripped her. What now? What was Sophie going to say next?
Joan took her hand. ‘It’ll be all right. Sophie needs to take control of her life. Let her do this.’
Sophie was beginning to see red. She needed to get on before she lost her nerve. This last thing would give her control of her life. She had to make them see who she was. She had to show them she was her own person, a unique combination of her old and new lives. A product of her once uneventful existence and her new earth-shattering reality.
‘I have decided to change my name legally to Sophie Fletcher. One half of me belongs to Anna, the other to Laura. But the name is mine. I’m happy with my decision and I will not be changing my mind.’ Turning to Laura, Joan, Frank and Mandy, Sophie added, ‘No more Jody. I’m sorry, but she’s gone. She died that day on the boat and a new person was born. Please understand that I can’t be that ghost. I’m real, I’m here and I’m me.’
Frank had his arms around his mother and sister. Mandy was standing beside Laura, linking her arm. They all had tears in their eyes.
Sophie gulped back the sob in her throat. ‘And, Anna, I’m not Roberts, I never was. My family name is Fletcher. It’s who I am and I’m proud of it. I can’t be the old Sophie any more. I’m me.’ Sophie broke down.
Everyone rushed to her side.
‘I think it’s a wonderful name. It’s a new beginning,’ Joe said, hugging her.
‘It’s a perfect compromise.’ Frank patted her back.
‘We may have lost Jody that day, but this summer we gained you, and you’re a precious gift,’ Joan said, tears streaming down her face.
Sophie turned to Anna, who was trembling. ‘I see you, my sweet Sophie, I see you.’ Anna wiped a tear from her daughter’s face.
Sophie then looked at Laura, who was sobbing, ‘Welcome to our family, Sophie Fletcher. I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time but you were worth every second.’
‘Crikey, I should have worn me waterproof mascara.’ Lexie dabbed her eyes.
Sophie reached out to hold both her mothers’ hands. ‘I always used to wish for a dad,’ she smiled ruefully, ‘but now I have two mums and I’m OK with that. I know the road ahead will not be smooth. I understand that you’ll never be friends. But I’m your daughter, both of you, and nothing and no one can change that. So let’s try and move forward as a very abnormal, peculiar and weird but amazing family. Can we, Anna? Laura?’
Laura and Anna locked eyes and slowly nodded. They would try anything for the love of Sophie.
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Acknowledgements
My deep and heartfelt thanks go to:
Rachel Pierce, my editor – I am so grateful for her invaluable advice and encouragement; and Patricia Deevy, for championing me from the beginning; Michael McLoughlin, Cliona Lewis, Patricia McVeigh, Brian Walker and all the team at Penguin Ireland for making the publishing process so enjoyable. To all in the Penguin UK office, especially Tom Weldon, Joanna Prior and the fantastic sales, marketing and creative teams. To my agent Marianne Gunn O’Connor for her passion and commitment. To Hazel Orme, for her meticulous copy-editing. She is a true gem.
To Anwen Hooson and Maura Brickell, for their hard work on the publicity front. To Cliodhna Hand, for her honest and humorous insight into the life of a teacher. Thanks to my friends for their love, loyalty and laughter.
To Mum, Dad, Sue, Mike and my extended family for their unwavering support and cheerleading.
To Hugo, Geordy and Amy – you make my heart sing.
And to Troy my best friend and soul-mate.
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PENGUIN IRELAND
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
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Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
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First published 2012
Copyright © Sinéad Moriarty, 2012
The moral right of the author has been asserted
Cover photographs: shoebox © Red Edge/Girts Gailans; table and wall © Shutterstock; flowers © Neil Fletcher/Getty Images
All rights reserved
ISBN: 978-1-844-88247-2
THE BABY TRAIL
‘Will make you laugh out loud one minute and wipe away a rogue tear the next’ Heat
Early thirtysomething Emma decides it’s time t
o have the baby – but it just doesn’t happen to order. Emma goes through a funny, touching and ultimately moving journey as she struggles to accept the reality that maybe it’s never going to happen. The Baby Trail is a novel rich in texture, light and dark, and humour with a biting undercurrent.
‘Moriarty’s Emma has the wit of Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, mixed with the Murphy’s Law luck of Bridget Jones’ Irish Independent
‘Very funny, with a cast of wonderful supporting characters and an unpredictable ending. Marian Keyes, you have some competition’ RTÉ Guide
‘The pace is fast and furious … a real page-turner’ Irish Tatler
‘Honest and funny’ U Magazine
‘Lots of tears and even more laughs … a confident debut’ Irish Times
‘Funny – side-splittingly so, which is a difficult balance to strike considering the weight of the subject matter’ Ireland on Sunday
‘Mix Bridget Jones with Charlotte from Sex and the City and you’ve got Emma, the charming heroine of The Baby Trail, and a funny, feisty guide through the realities and hilarities of twenty-first century baby-making. A terrific read …’ Jennifer Weiner
A PERFECT MATCH
‘A touching tale with just the right amount of humour’ OK! Magazine
After two years of being deafened by the tick-tock of her biological clock and tormented by Mother Nature’s refusal to grant her a baby, Emma Hamilton decides to go for the instant solution: finding a Russian baby in need of a home.
But Emma hasn’t reckoned on the route to adoption being so complicated. Between proving that she's fit to be a mother (by inventing an unblemished past and discovering an unsuspected talent for housekeeping), driving her long-suffering husband insane with madcap schemes to make them the perfect would-be parents (a few Russian verbs a night and they’ll be fluent in no time), and tripping over red tape every step of the way (who knew social workers could be so terrifying?), Emma finds out that adoption is far from the easy option – and that perfection has very little to do with finding the perfect match.
This Child of Mine Page 41
