by C. J. Lau
Chapter 11
“Welcome to England, Margaret. Enjoy your stay.”
I collect my passport from the counter at Border Control and make my way into London Heathrow, brain scrambled, moving slowly towards the baggage carousels.
I hate airports. The smell of petrol fumes and the feeling of always being watched.
My body doesn’t agree with the early morning hour, but the clock confirms it.
Now it’s the turn of the conveyor belt to hold me up.
The waiting. I hate airports because I’m always waiting.
My mind drifts back to the phone. “Maggie. Cat’s awake!”
Life changing. Cliché or not, that’s what Kathy’s words have been. Dragging me out of the misery of Solo’s goodbye hours before.
“Cat’s awake, Maggie!” she repeated. “Get over here.”
I danced around the house, calling my parents and then the Keene’s. My message the same each time.
“Cat’s awake! I need to get to London ASAP!”
What a crazy 48 hours. My parents extremely generous with plane tickets, and Carol brilliant, making sure I have everything I need.
I told Kathy the next time I call. “Francis agreed to take my classes, and get the girls to their Round 5 away game. Principal Ripley said he’ll look after any casuals if needed.” Would even round up another umpire to meet our obligations if Carol can’t make it.
There wasn’t a single reason not to go. So here I am.
Especially now I am alone. Cat’s timing good, and awful at the same time.
I burst into a smile, one at odds with how the rest of my body feels. Cat is alive.
Life changing describes it perfectly.
Formalities complete, I make my way into the arrivals area, looking for my former Coach. Kathy Parker has aged since I saw her last. But I instantly recognise the determined smile as she comes striding towards me.
“Maggie!”
We hug for a long time. She feels like home.
“Let’s get out of here. Cat should be awake by now.” Kathy leads me to her car. Drives us into a crowded London weekday.
“Tell me everything.” I ask. Not ready for the answer.
“Cat’s still agitated. Very emotional. There’s a psychologist working with her. He’s said to expect a trauma reaction as she slowly gets her memories back.” Well, I did say everything, but this hurts to listen.
I know she’s trying hard to keep us on the road. Resisting the urge to hug me, look at me, or use her hands to talk. “She can eat and toilet herself again with minimal assistance. Today they’ll be checking whether she can walk unaided and if so, how far.” Kathy’s candidness has me wincing. “There are plates holding her together. They’ll be there for a long time. It’s a miracle she’s even alive.”
Miracle. Life changing miracle. The smile painted on my face. I expected Kathy’s news to be happy, but her eyes are anything but. And I have no words to counter her awful ones like minimal assistance and plates. But it only gets worse as Kathy keeps on with her morbid soliloquy.
“She’s a mess, Maggie. Skull fractured, arms and leg broken, internal injuries, bleeding on the brain.”
A sound escapes involuntarily. “Yikes.” I consider stopping her, but need to hear this.
She talks over my little interruption. “In the first few hours it was the bleeding that concerned them most. That and keeping her heart beating.”
My smile fades too. I nod, remembering my own reaction to the news. Utter helplessness, and so many tears.
Kathy’s still talking. “They kept her heavily sedated. Trying to keep the swelling in her brain under control.” Another glance across as the road opens up, I see a warning this time. “Just so you know, she’s got a big scar on her face, and a deep one on her leg too. Please don’t recoil when you see her.”
“I wish I’d come when it first happened.” I slip away mentally from all the horrible descriptions, wondering why I hadn’t come. Cat’s parents had, staying until work commitments forced them back. But I chose a final summer with Solo before my move. Some friend I was.
“There wasn’t much you could have done.” Kathy’s voice brings me back. “It’s good you’re here now though.”
We start to zoom on the road. My head back on the headrest, pondering my next question. And I’m not going to ask about the speed limit.
Morbid or not, I need more answers. “How much does she remember?”
“She doesn’t know about Trisha yet. The psychologist told us not to tell her until she brings it up. She isn’t… herself just yet. Her brain might still be—I don’t know.”
Kathy’s pushing back tears. My turn to cheer her up. Even with the prospect of my best friend living with a permanent brain injury. “She will come back to us, Kathy. What’s one word you’ve always used to describe Cat?”
“Determined?”
“Stubborn,” my answer brings a smile. “She is so stubborn. If she wants to get back to full fitness and play for Australia again, then it’ll happen. We just need to get her over this patch and help her find her feet again.” I risk a hand on her shoulder despite the speed we’re doing. “It must’ve been so hard.”
“It was, Maggie. They wound down the sedation, but she hadn’t woken up. There was nothing any of us could do but wait.”
Wait. For this moment.
Two familiar faces greet me outside the hospital. I run to hug Ian and Georgia, Cat’s parents. “How is she?” I ask, not bothering with the answer about how my flight was.
“She’s been awake for 72 hours. The physio has her doing some exercises to try and get some muscle function back,” Georgia answers, while Ian nods, solemn. “She thinks it’s a bit of a joke, but she’s sticking to them anyway. The brain scan results look promising.” They both offer small smiles at that, until Georgia adds. “But she remembers nothing before the accident.”
I brace myself in the corridor and then walk into her private room. Cat, sitting up in bed. Our eyes meet. A deep scar running from below her chin, across her left cheek, past her eye, and stopping at her left temple. Her arms bumpy and scarred with marks from the accident and the surgery.
Now I understand the serious look in Ian’s eyes. A thick bandage covers her right leg. But all is instantly forgotten when she smiles.
“Maggie! What are you doing here?”
I lean over her bed, not sure where to give her a hug. Risk it anyway.
“I’m here to see you, silly!” This must be how they all felt when she’d woken.
I pull away, wiping my eyes. “How are you?”
“Confused,” Cat answers, a smile for Kathy too. “They did a brain scan, but they can’t find my memory.”
I chuckle at her. My best friend is injured and her recovery will be long. But she’s alive, and that alone is enough for tears of joy to flow.
My eyes fix on Ian, Georgia, and Kathy. Know it must be done.
“How much can you remember?” I ask.
“Last thing I remember is Trisha meeting me in Plymouth. We were going to spend two days together before I fly out to Germany. Is Trisha coming too? Maybe she can help me remember.”
I take a deep breath. Draw on all my training, “Let me help, Cat…” Rely on every moment of bad news I’ve ever delivered.
“The nurses say it’s May. That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“Can you remember what you two were going to do?” I start.
“No. We hadn’t decided.”
“You and Trisha went on a scenic helicopter flight,” I prompt, coax the memory, trying a gentle route.
“Yes, that sounds like something Trisha would do,” Cat answers. Waiting, looking back blankly, then around at us all.
It’s time to tell her.
“Something went terribly wrong. The helicopter you were… it crashed.” I find no way of softening the blow. “Everyone in it was killed except you.”
“Everyone?” Cat struggles, looking to her parents. “T
risha’s… dead?”
They nod. Wait for a reaction.
“Yes. It’s been five months, this coma.” I put my hand on her shoulder. Gently. Ready for anything. “But now you’re back. We’re all so glad to see you.”
Cat shakes her head. “Trisha’s dead… And I can’t remember?”
“It will come. Give it time, Cat,” Georgia consoles her daughter. Tries to.
“Are you all here to take me home? Can I go home now?” Cat begs.
I look across at Ian. Want to bring them into this. “Yes dearest,” he takes the prompt. “We’re all here to take you home. But the doctors want to run more tests first to make sure everything’s okay.”
“Can I at least get out of the hospital?” Cat asks me, negotiating with the wrong person. “This place gives me the creeps.”
“The doctors say you should be allowed out by Wednesday,” Kathy answering now. “But you’ll need to stay in England for another few days after that.”
“Hopefully by then I can walk,” She says to no one, and all of us. “Although I don’t hold out much hope of playing any time soon.”
“Cat, you are lucky to be alive, and by a miracle out of your coma,” Kathy moves closer to the bed, touches Cat’s arm. “Let’s take it one step at a time.”
“Excuse me. We need Miss McConnell alone for some treatment now” one of the hospital staff interrupt, “sorry. You can come back at 3pm.”
“Please come back,” Cat begs us. Her separation anxiety troubling me most, psychology training kicking in.
I hug her again. “We will, Cat. We will.”
Cat’s pleas sit uncomfortably in my gut as I follow the others down the hall. Feeling as old and tired as everyone looks. Georgia’s eyes full of tears, on a face already sagging and bowed from the stress of it all. Ian the same, deeply unsettled, in no rush for the lift. Even Kathy, my rock through all of this, looks like she hasn’t slept for days.
We were it though. Cat’s world shaking, and the four of us all that hold her up right now. And I am in no condition to be anyone’s pillar, barely able to hold myself together.
Logistics. Focus on the logistics. I tell myself, putting emotions behind me for now.
“Where are you all staying?” I ask once we’re outside.
“A hotel for the time being, but we’ll need to find something cheaper if she’s going to be here for a few more days.” Ian’s words let me see a glimpse of his struggle. The accident turning their world upside down too. Leaving them weary, low on funds, operating out of instinct.
“How about you Kathy?” I ask.
“I’m in a hotel too, for tonight. You can crash with me if you want.”
In the rush to get here I haven’t even planned a place to stay. Very unlike me. I remember Carol and Sam saying, “Maggie, just get over there and give Cat all our love. Call if you need anything at all.” They’d thrust a mobile into my hands. “Use this, it will work over there.”
I can feel the phone’s weight in my pocket. Wonder about the sincerity of their offer. How far did the Keene family influence reach?
I stifle a yawn. “That would be great. Do you mind if we go now? I’m so tired, and hungry.”
“Your body hasn’t adjusted yet. Come on let’s go,” Kathy answers, then turns to the McConnells. “Seeing Maggie and hearing about Trisha could trigger a bad night for Cat. Will you be back this afternoon?”
“We need to find somewhere else to stay,” Ian answers. “Unless we split up and Georgia comes back. We only booked two nights and we can’t afford to extend it.”
I’ve heard enough. Pull the phone from my pocket, holding it up.
“I can help. Carol told me if I needed anything to give them a call. I think you need help more than me right now.”
Their tired eyes look at the phone like it’s an alien offering. No one moves.
“Carol Keene?” Kathy speaks up. “If she says they can help, believe it. You can put that away Maggie, I still have her details. Let’s get you back to the hotel and I’ll call from there.”
To the McConnells she adds, “I’ll be in touch. Check out of your room and let’s meet back here at two.”
The adrenaline wears off quickly during the short drive to the hotel. Yawning continually, barely noticing the city pass before me.
“I suppose sleep is your first priority now.” Kathy voice fades in and out of my tired ears as I drop my suitcase on the bed closest to the door, collapsing.
“Yeah, but it was great to see Cat first. Thanks for everything. You’re the best…” my words slurred. Barely the energy to pull off my shoes.
It hits me all at once, now we were in the room. Something warm draped over me.
I don’t even hear the door close. Fast asleep.
My eyes open to darkness, and a brief moment of panic not knowing where I am. It takes me a second to process that I’m not in Goulburn.
I rise off the bed with a sigh, sore muscles groaning from the flight. Wondering why it isn’t morning, before a note on the bedside table brings everything back at once.
I stand gingerly, rubbing my eyes. Jet lag telling me to unpack my suitcase and brush my teeth for the morning ahead. My eyes seeing it is 9:30pm by the clock.
I go to brush my teeth anyway.
From the bathroom, I walk back to the note on the table, next to Carol’s phone that has somehow found its way there.
Please call when you wake up. Kathy.
I ring the number.
“Hello?” Kathy answers.
“Kathy. It’s Maggie, where are you?”
“You’re awake,” Kathy sounds happy. “I’m with the McConnells checking out where we’ll be staying.”
“Oh, okay,” I say. Look around the barren hotel room. “Can you bring back something to eat? I’m starving.”
“Sleep done, so now hunger, eh?” Kathy laughs. “Sure. Since it’s so late it’ll be fast food. How does pizza sound?”
My stomach growls at the word. “Pizza would be great. Thanks.”
“Okay, see you in about half an hour. Watch some TV or something. Don’t unpack though, we’re moving tomorrow.”
She arrives thirty minutes later, as promised with steaming pizza in hand. I shovel it in quickly, using both hands. Make Kathy laugh.
“I’m proud of you, Maggie,” Kathy says when the laughing stops. “You were going so well in your studies. But went for teaching when you could have been a psychologist by now.”
“Because of you, Coach,” I say, wiping my hands on a napkin, “you took me and Cat with you to Lismore to help out. From that moment I knew what I wanted to do. Win or lose.”
And for once, mentioning Cat doesn’t freeze what’s left of my heart.
Kathy sighs. “I remember that tournament. My last one with the girls. Plus Cat got her call up.”
The call that changed Cat’s life. Memories of the biggest hug ever bring a smile.
“I love the girls,” I continue. “I have a chance to set things right, to fix things up after Zara Xerxes nearly trashed the place.”
Kathy sighs again. “Zara and I are old friends.”
“You don’t agree with her methods do you? Defence, defence, defence.”
A shake of Kathy’s head. “Zara went over the top, but so many inexperienced Coaches and teams underestimate defence. Since you’re a striker, it might take a few losses of your own for you to learn. But you’re fast, Maggie. Hopefully it only takes one.”
I ponder Kathy’s words for a moment.
“Does that mean we can’t win this year?” I ask.
“No. Remember the top 8 teams all play in a round robin of some kind. Darrell made sure of that when she took over, and I applaud her for it.” Darrell Sloan is the tournament Convenor. Kathy seems to know everyone by first name.
I stop demolishing pizza, sensing a home truth coming, and she gives it. “In a tournament that isn’t a knockout, how you lose, and how you react to that loss will determine your ultimate succes
s. Hope this is all making sense.”
A nervous realisation crosses my mind. We’ve drawn round five away. Just as I feared but prepared for against Cowra. No way can I be back in time to lead them. “I wish I could write this down,” I say. Remembering I’ve packed my notebook.
Francis will need to do the job of Coach, and Anna as Captain. I have no choice but to trust them. No doubts that the right place to be is here.
“What’s wrong, Maggie?”
I shake the thoughts away. “The team play away in Wagga next week, with me in England, and my seniors sitting exams in Goulburn. If the match doesn’t go well then our run is over.”
“Trust the girls. I know you don’t regret coming. They will be motivated to win for you,” Kathy encourages. “You chose to be here.”
“Thanks, Coach. You always say the right things.”
I’ve reverted, calling her Coach. Kathy seems comfortable with the title.
“It comes from many times of getting it wrong. I see a lot of potential in you, Maggie, and I’m happy I inspired you to take up this path. Don’t forget I’m here for you.” I know she’ll have a lot of information on the teams I expect to play. “And I’d pay money to see a Goulburn verses Wollongong match.”
“Why?” I ask. Contemplate another slice.
“Because Zara is coaching in Wollongong now.”
Shocked at the revelation, my appetite disappears.
“That game is going to be a hard one,” I say, determined, “but I’ll be ready for Ms X, and so will the girls. I know she’ll want revenge, and I can promise that I have a few girls who want it more.”
Kathy laughs. “Another reason why it would be worth watching. Like I said, I’m here for anything you need.”
We don’t talk as I eat the last piece. Eventually, I need to say it. “Perhaps Ms X has left me with something to be thankful for.”
Kathy’s answer instant. “She has. Glad you’re mature enough to see it, use it to your advantage. I knew you were a fast learner.”
I nod, eager to ask more. But Kathy’s yawn stops me.
“It’s late, Maggie. Try and get some sleep, even if your body doesn’t want to. You have a big day tomorrow. If we’re lucky they might let Cat out of hospital.” Kathy moves toward her bed.
Sleep won’t come. The night spent staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts that swirl in my head.
My girls enjoying their weekend club matches. My starting defenders all from last year’s team. Am I now benefitting from a product of Zara’s unpopular coaching?
Maybe, I answer to the darkness, but I’m itching for a chance to use it against her.
