I belong to him.
I belong to Mack Slayer.
There’s no going back now.
Mack
I’m coming, and I’m coming fast, my body jerking with each thrust as I shoot my load deep inside her. The fact she was wet – because, man, I wasn’t expecting that – made this a whole lot quicker than I wanted it to be, but I guess I wasn’t expecting her to be up for this. She was. Another reason why I freakin’ need this girl.
I’ve done what I needed to do now. Ain’t nobody gonna go near her after this.
A round of appreciative cheers rings out around the clubhouse as I try to get my breath back, and I’m reluctant to leave her heartbreakingly beautiful body, but we can carry this on later tonight. I ain’t done with her yet.
And then she looks at me, and her eyes, they’re almost dead. They ain’t telling me anything, I can’t tell what she’s thinking now, and that kinda frustrates me.
‘You know what this means, baby?’
She nods, and then she wraps her legs around my hips and kisses me; a soft kiss, the kind I ain’t all that used to, but I like it. And that still scares the shit outta me.
I pull out of her, and she immediately slides down from the pool table, crouching down to pick up her panties, although she doesn’t put them back on. She tucks them away in her pocket and faces me, her expression hard, but there’s a slight smile on her face; a flicker of something there in her eyes now.
‘I’ll see you later,’ she whispers, her mouth close to my ear before she moves her head and kisses me one more time, and I just want to reach out and pull her back into my arms – Jesus! What the fuck is going on here? But I’ve staked my claim now. I got nothing to worry about, she ain’t going nowhere. She understands that what I did just now – that’s major. That’s sent out a message ain’t nobody gonna ignore.
I watch her walk out, and I can’t stop myself from smiling. I feel better now. I’m back in control. I just gotta make sure that’s the way things stay.
Izzi
Once outside I let the mask fall. I let the tears start to stream down my cheeks as disgust takes over. And as I lean back against the wall, listening to the sounds of laughter and cheering and the expected back-slapping emanating from the confines of the clubhouse, I allow myself five minutes of regret. I allow myself to silently break down as self-pity and confusion and utter self-loathing consumes me. What happened in there, that was wrong. But I enjoyed every fucked-up second of it, and that’s what terrifies me. I’m scared I’m actually becoming this person for real now, and it’s not who I want to be. I only ever wanted to be her until I’d seen my plan through. Oh, I know I can’t ever go back to the person I used to be when Aiden and my father were alive, that can’t happen now. The second they were taken from me things were never going to be the same again. But I don’t want to be this person either. Not forever. But I am up to my eyes in crazy, dangerous shit I can’t get out of now. So I’ve got to suck it up and get my head back where it needs to be. Mack Slayer fucked me in front of everyone, so what? It’s not like I haven’t opened my legs in front of an audience before. And I’ll be doing it again, for as long as it takes for me to finish what I started.
I throw my head back and close my eyes, inhaling deep and exhaling slowly. I need to calm down. I need to get back in control because if anyone sees me like this… I need to get back in control because what I have to do next; where I’m going, what I’m about to try and undertake, it’s stupid. It’s dangerous. Sam would tell me to step back from this now. To leave it alone. To revert back to my original plan of letting Mack help me. But Mack isn’t going to help me, is he? He’s refused to help me kill any of Viper’s crew, in fact, he doesn’t even know I still need to do that with every fiber of my being. I’m lying to him, and that’s dangerous enough, but what I’m about to do now…
Taking one last deep breath, I quickly wipe my eyes and pull myself to my feet, fishing my keys out of my pocket. My panties fall to the ground, and I crouch down to pick them up, slipping them back on before I head over to my Harley Custom Roadster. I’d never ridden a Harley before, not until I came back here. I’ve always been more used to road or racing bikes. Back home I’d had a Ducati Diavel and a red and silver Suzuki Hayabusa, but as soon as I’d said goodbye to Aiden and my dad; as soon as I’d said goodbye to that life I couldn’t have anymore, I’d locked them away and forgot about them. I had to get familiar with the bikes these men I’m involved with now are used to; the ones they ride. So I straddle my Harley and kick it into action, pulling my helmet on and staring out ahead of me.
The determination is slowly coming back. I know I need to do this. It’s the only way I can get close enough to carry out my plan. It’s the only way…
Chapter Fourteen
Izzi
I thought Laney’s was seedy, but this place I’m in now has superseded that in a way I didn’t think was possible. I mean, at first glance, it isn’t like these bars are overly rough and ready. The décor is clean and relatively contemporary. It’s the air of something more sinister that lurks beneath the surroundings that makes them feel dirty.
‘Hey there, sweetheart. Can I help you with anythin’?’
I throw my best smile at a dark haired, middle-aged man in a leather cut and battered jeans. He’s quite handsome, in that worn and weathered look I’m becoming more and more accustomed to now, and despite his outwardly intimidating exterior he seems pretty friendly. Just a pity he might have to die one day. For no reason. All depends on who he is as to what his fate might turn out to be.
‘I’m here to see Viper.’ I keep my voice slow and steady; that air of confidence that just verges on arrogance is back.
The man raises an eyebrow, and then he smirks. I wasn’t aware I’d said anything even vaguely amusing, but his expression tells me he thinks otherwise. ‘You’re here to see Viper.’
He doesn’t even phrase that as a question. ‘I’m not in the habit of repeating myself.’
He lets out a long, low whistle and it’s my turn to smile. ‘You sure got some balls, darlin’?’
Yeah. I have. And I bet they’re bigger than yours. ‘Is he here?’
‘He expecting you?’ His eyebrow’s still raised, his expression wary. But that’s understandable. He has no idea who I am. Yet.
‘He’s expecting me.’
He turns to address the younger man behind the bar. ‘Hey, Vince, go see if Viper’s expecting a visit from a pretty young English piece.’
I lean back against the counter and take a sip of my beer, watching the man in front of me as he leans in to speak more quietly to the guy behind the bar.
When he finally turns his attention back to me, it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. ‘Well?’
‘He’ll be out in a minute.’
He sounds almost disappointed that I wasn’t just some biker mama trying her luck.
I watch him as he walks away, towards the round stage that’s situated in the center of the bar. Two girls are performing. Two naked girls. And they’re doing pretty much what Cora and me did to each other a couple of nights ago in Laney’s, and as I watch them I feel a faint tingling in my groin, because I’d enjoyed it. I’d enjoyed making out with a woman, in full view of a gang of baying bikers. And I kind of want to feel disgusted at that, but when I consider the things I’m about to do – the things I’ve already done – I figure that enjoying being fucked by another woman rates pretty low on my list of things that should disgust me.
‘You done that kinda shit before?’
I turn my head to see Viper by my side. He’s different to Mack, looks-wise, but other than that I know they’re quite similar. He’s dark-haired, like Mack, but Viper wears his a little longer, and he covers it with a red and black bandana. He’s a lot thinner than Mack, and his face is a touch more drawn, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t one handsome bastard – he is. I don’t feel it myself, but I can see why the women fall at his feet just as much as they do Mack’s. In fact,
I have a feeling they’re way more alike than either of them would care to admit. Which is why I have to be careful here. I’m playing with the kind of fire that could kill me. Being burned would be getting off lightly. This is, literally, a death-wish I’m undertaking here. But I have to do it.
‘I’ve done all kinds of things,’ I reply, making sure I maintain eye contact.
He laughs, a quiet, low laugh that makes my stomach twist into a nervous knot, but I don’t let that show on my face. That would be incredibly foolish. ‘You ain’t got no appointment to see me.’
‘So why come out here then?’ I keep my eyes fixed on his, just so he gets the message. I’m not rattled by him.
He laughs again and leans back against the bar, reaching behind him for a bottle of whiskey. ‘I guess I wanted to see the kinda girl who has the nerve to walk in here and try what you just pulled off.’ He pours out two large shots and hands me a tumbler. ‘Call me curious.’
‘Am I what you imagined?’
He takes a sip of his drink, our eyes still locked. ‘Not really.’
‘You don’t like what you see?’
His mouth twists up into a smirk, which actually makes him way more attractive. ‘If I didn’t like what I was seeing you wouldn’t be standing there with a glass of my best bourbon in your hand.’
I smile and knock back the drink in one mouthful, which seems to amuse him.
‘A girl after my own heart.’
He swallows the rest of his whiskey down and immediately pours us both refills.
‘You looking for work?’
He hands me my drink, and I sip it more slowly this time. ‘I need money. I’ve just moved here, and I’ve got rent to pay. You know how it is.’
He eyes me with more than a slightly wary expression, but that’s nothing I wasn’t expecting. ‘What’s a pretty English girl like you doing all the way over here, huh?’
I take another sip of whiskey, but I keep my eyes locked with his. ‘I’m escaping.’
‘From what?’
‘Does getting a job here depend on me telling you everything about myself?’
He shrugs. ‘Like I said – sometimes I get curious.’
I break the stare, but that was deliberate. It’s all part of the act. ‘Let’s just say that my life back home wasn’t a nice one. There were things going on that I suddenly realized I didn’t have to endure anymore.’ I look back up at him. The lies trip off my tongue so easily now, and that isn’t something I’m proud of. It scares me. Because I’m not just lying to anyone here. I’m lying to people who are dangerous and crazy and if I don’t play this right…
‘So, why here, huh?’
‘Why not?’
He laughs again, but his eyes are becoming less suspicious now. Is he just as easily distracted by a pair of tits and a pretty face? Are all these men really that weak? ‘OK, darlin’. You’ll be dancing, and you’ll be waiting tables, it’s a bit of everything in this place.’
‘That’s fine with me.’
‘You had any experience waiting tables?’
I’ve never actually waited tables in my life. But I’m sure I can pick it up in no time. If I can learn how to fire a gun in a matter of days, I’m sure I can manage to take orders and deliver drinks. ‘A bit.’
‘What about dancing? You ever done this kinda stuff before?’
‘I told you, I’ve done all kinds of things.’
‘You’ll need to get naked up there. The guys that come in here – my crew, they don’t come here for half measures and cheap liquor. They want naked chicks and decent bourbon.’
I know exactly what men like this want. And I’m more than capable of delivering it. ‘Whatever you need me to do.’
He throws me that smirk again; it’s verging on a leer, and it’s the first time I’ve felt a flicker of nerves hit me. ‘Yeah. I like you… Look, before I can let you up there on that stage, I still need to see what you can do. You say you done all kinda things, well, I’m gonna need to see some proof of that.’ He beckons over the man I first met, who casually saunters across the room, his hands in his pockets, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. ‘I’m taking…’ Viper looks at me, and I quickly realize he’s asking for a name.
‘Destiny.’
He raises a surprised eyebrow. ‘That your real name?’
I think he already knows that isn’t my real name. ‘Does it matter?’
He pauses for a beat or two, his dark eyes boring deep into mine, and that sends another small warning shiver shooting through me, but I ignore it. If I let it bother me it weakens everything. It weakens me. ‘No. It don’t matter. I don’t give a fuck what you’re called as long as you do your job.’ He looks back at the other man. ‘I’m taking Destiny here into my office.’
‘Interview time, huh?’ The man smirks, and as I quickly glance over the rockers on his cut I notice the VP one displayed on his chest. He’s Viper’s VP. Which means he and Viper must be pretty close. And that makes him very much a target in my eyes.
Viper returns his smirk before looking back at me, jerking his head in the direction of a door behind the bar. ‘Come on, darlin’.’
I follow him inside and close the door behind us. I should be feeling nervous. I should be feeling scared. If his interview methods are anything like Mack’s then I might have to do something I really don’t want to do here. I wanted to do it for Mack – with Mack. But if Viper wants the same I’m just going to have to close my eyes and, well, think of England. That thought almost makes me smile, but I stop myself.
‘Take ‘em off, sweetheart.’ He sits down behind his desk and swings his legs up, sticking a cigarette between his teeth and lighting up. ‘Need to see what you got to offer.’
I begin to strip, slowly. I’m giving him a show, but that’s what he wants, so that’s what he’s going to get. And his eyes, they never leave me, I can feel them almost burning into my skin despite me not making all that much eye contact with him myself. I don’t particularly want to look at him for any longer than I have to.
Naked, bar for my knee-high boots, I lean back against the wall and stretch my arms up above my head, widening my stance just a touch. He might as well see it all. I’m out there now.
He gives a long, low whistle as he stands up and moves out from behind the desk, walking over to me, and I once more feel that warning shiver.
‘You got one hell of a body there, darlin’.’
He stops right in front of me and reaches out, trailing his fingers lightly over my rose vine tattoo.
‘And I bet it can move in ways that could make a man come in seconds. I mean, I got myself one hell of a boner right now.’
I take a small but deep breath, and hope he doesn’t want me to see to that. If I have to I will, but I don’t want to. Whatever it takes, though, that’s what I promised myself. Whatever it takes. And I’ve been taught how to handle situations like this. So if I have to, I will.
He moves his hand up and very quickly runs a thumb over my nipples. I don’t even flinch. When Mack does that I feel my stomach flip with an excitement I still feel guilty about, but it happens. Here, I feel nothing. I’m numb. Because I’ve learned how to switch feelings off; close them down. And I should have done that with Mack but I wasn’t quick enough.
‘Don’t worry, darlin’.’ Viper slowly scans the length of my body, his eyes roaming over every inch of my skin and still I feel nothing. I’m not scared, I’m not wary, I’m not sick to my stomach because this is what I’ve become – a woman who is quite happy to prostitute herself to get what she wants; what she needs. But it isn’t like I’m doing this for money or power. I’m not doing this for me. ‘I ain’t gonna fuck you.’ He sits back down behind his desk and pulls open a drawer, taking out some paperwork and slamming it down on the desk. ‘You looked anywhere else for work?’ he asks, lifting his head so his eyes once more meet mine. ‘I like my girls to be exclusive, y’see. Don’t want ‘em spreading their pretty legs for anyone else.’
‘You were the first place I came.’
I realize the lies I’m telling here are sloppy. They’re weak. I’ve veered so far from the path Sam put me on that I am, literally, playing this by ear; making it up as I go along. And any day now it could come crashing down around me so I have to be quick. I have to try and get this done fast.
‘Good.’ His mouth twists up into that smirk again, and I feel my stomach relax. For now. ‘You start tomorrow. Get here for six, and I’ll take a look at you on stage before we open up proper.’
I get dressed, my heart beating so hard I can only hope he doesn’t hear it.
‘Destiny?’
I was almost out the door there, but his voice stops me in my tracks and I slowly turn back around. ‘Yeah?’
‘There’s something about you I like.’
I don’t know whether that makes me feel better or worse. I guess I was kind of hoping he’d feel something akin to indifference, so that he didn’t pay all that much attention to me. And once again I realize how naïve I’ve been. I’m putting it out there in front of men who take what they want without always asking permission. I have no choice anymore.
I’ve made it that way.
I’ve set my own path.
Whatever it takes, remember?
Chapter Fifteen
Mack
‘Where’ve you been?’ I ain’t seen her since I fucked her in the clubhouse two nights ago, and I’m freakin’ pissed off. She’s my old lady now, my property, and she ain’t behaving like she understands that.
Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) Page 11
