‘Why are you here?’
‘I told you why. I mean, come on, honey, just because I can’t have you don’t mean I have to run back home with my tail between my legs…’
‘Because that would make you look weak, right?’
He keeps his eyes on mine and laughs quietly. ‘You ain’t the only one entitled to a new start, darlin’.’
‘But this isn’t really a new start for you, is it? It’s the same life, just in a different part of the country.’
‘Tell it how it is, sweetheart, why don’t you.’
I keep my eyes on his and neither of us seems to want to break the stare. ‘I’m sorry, Mack.’
‘For what?’
‘For everything. For turning up on your doorstep and starting all this crap; for putting you and your club in danger…’
‘Listen, darlin’, me and my club were in danger every day of our fucking lives. It’s an occupational hazard.’
‘And that won’t change here, will it?’
He holds my gaze and I swallow hard again. Because I know the answer to that question. ‘No. It probably won’t.’
I finally look away and glance down at my hands clasped between my knees.
‘Me, Sam, Zeb… we can look after ourselves, Izzi.’
It’s like he read my mind, but I still don’t look at him. ‘Yeah. I know you can.’
‘And you also know you can walk away from this. So why don’t you?’
I look up, and once more his eyes lock on mine. ‘You know why. I can’t go back to that life. I don’t want to be surrounded by the memories and the pain and… I need to live something different. I need to be someone different.’
‘You’ll never lose the past completely.’
‘I know.’
‘Do you love him?’
‘Zeb?’ I shrug, because I don’t think I do. Like I said, I don’t want to love, not anymore. It’s too hard. ‘I know I want to be with him.’
‘Why?’
‘Is that any of your business?’
‘I’m just curious. I mean, the guy’s almost twice your age, and everything you’ve led me to believe Aiden wasn’t.’
‘Whereas you’re practically his twin.’
His mouth twists up into a smirk. ‘We could’ve been good together, darlin’.’
I don’t respond. Maybe he’s right, maybe we could’ve, I don’t know. But I walked away from him, and there had to be a reason for that.
‘Is he still coming after me, Mack? Viper? I mean, is it a real threat?’
‘I think you’ve been in this world long enough to know we don’t joke about shit like that. I heard some talk, is all, but where rumors like that are concerned… You held a gun in his face, Izzi. You threatened to kill him. And not many people get away with that, not with Viper. And you’re a woman, and that ain’t ever gonna sit right with him. No man gets to do that to him and get away with it, so when a woman tries…’
‘He killed my father. He gunned down my fiancé, and I don’t give a shit whether he meant to or not, I don’t care. It happened. He ripped my world away from me and he was never gonna be brought to justice for that, and don’t think for one minute that I’m OK about letting that go…’
‘Izzi, baby…’
I pull myself to my feet as I see Zeb’s bike turn into the front yard. This conversation’s over.
‘Izzi.’
I turn around and look at him. ‘It’s OK, that you’re here, Mack. It’s OK.’
And he smiles, and I feel a tiny pull on my heart that I ignore. It’s OK. But his being here isn’t going to change anything…
Mack
I don’t know what I expected from that. I get her on her own and five minutes later she falls into my arms? Yeah. Wake the hell up, Mack! But I saw something, in her eyes, I fucking saw it. We shared some crazy shit together. You don’t just forget all that, not completely.
I pull out a cigarette and light up, watching as she runs to him, flinging herself into his arms the second he’s off his bike. My cousin. My new VP. And I can’t stay here and watch them together like this, every fucking day, so I’m gonna make sure this new clubhouse we’re setting up – I’m gonna live there. I just gotta concentrate on throwing myself into this club now. I need to get back to what I do best because love – shit, that just don’t suit me.
I take a long drag and continue watching them together. And she looks happy, I mean, genuinely happy. That smile on her face, it’s beautiful, but she’s only got eyes for him. And that’s my fault. I let that happen. I stalled. I hesitated, and that ain’t something I do. You hesitate in this life, and you die. I hesitated, and I lost something I didn’t know I really wanted, until now. Until she wasn’t there anymore. Until I saw her with someone else…
Chapter Thirty-Two
Izzi
For some reason I can’t sleep. Maybe there are just too many things going on in my head right now, since Mack turned up, but I close my eyes and there’s no rest coming.
I turn to look at Zeb, who’s having no trouble sleeping, and I watch his chest rising and falling for a few minutes in the hope that it’ll lull me into sleep but it doesn’t really help. So I fall back into the pillows and stare up at the ceiling, and I try to free my mind of all the crap that’s preventing me from relaxing. But maybe I need something more to help me drift off, and with Zeb asleep that only leaves me one option, so I drop my hand below the covers and pull my legs up, touching myself gently at first, and then applying a little more pressure as I realize this might just work. I can already feel my shoulders loosening, my body relaxing back into the mattress.
I close my eyes and bite down on my lip as I gently slide two fingers inside myself, and then I feel a hand on my wrist pull them back out and I open my eyes and look at him, all lopsided smirk and messed-up hair. ‘You’re awake.’
‘Either that or you’re about to have one hell of a dream.’
My smile widens and he kisses me, and my stomach clenches and I push all those thoughts of Mack that have invaded my head since his arrival to the back of my mind.
‘Couldn’t sleep, huh?’ Zeb murmurs as his hand takes over where mine left off.
I shake my head and he lowers his mouth down onto mine again in a deep and dirty kiss, and I bury my fingers in his hair, keeping him pressed down against me. But then he pulls away and starts moving downwards, and I grip the edges of the pillow as his tongue trails down over my stomach until it reaches my pubic bone, his mouth brushing over it, sending my stomach into spasms and I buck my hips slightly. I know where he’s going, and I want him there now, I’m aching for this release, I’m desperate for it. And then he hooks his arms around my knees and pulls them wider apart, and I cry out quietly as his tongue finds that ache, and deals with it.
He raises me up slightly, and I cry out again as his tongue moves back, rimming me lightly, and I almost draw blood as I bite down hard on my lip. But then he moves forward again, and his mouth closes in on my throbbing clit, sucking it, his tongue circling it until I can’t take anymore. He’s driving me crazy, and I thrust myself against him as I feel everything start to surge forward so quickly I can’t breathe! His mouth continues to work on my clit as I jerk and buck against him until I’m coming so hard and so fast I feel myself spilling out over him, but he’s taking it. Just like he’s taken it many times before. Just like I’ve taken him – he taught me how to take a man deep and give him exactly what he wants, and in turn he made me understand just what it is that gets me off. That’s why we work.
‘Jesus, Zeb…’ I groan as the last of those white-hot tingles start to subside, and I keep my eyes closed as he lets go of me and jumps off the bed, heading into the bathroom. ‘That was so fucking good,’ I murmur to myself, stretching out as every last trace of stress floods out of my tired body. ‘So good…’
And then I feel him climb back into bed, feel his arm circle my waist, pulling me over onto my side so I face him, and I reach out and run my fingertips lightl
y over his rough chin, touching his mouth, and I know I’m right, to stay with him. Like I said, Mack was never supposed to be my future.
I close my eyes as he kisses me, his hand resting lightly in the small of my back keeping me pressed against him, and I melt into him. The feeling of safety he exudes is almost overwhelming. But then I feel him stiffen and he suddenly pulls back from me, sitting bolt upright.
‘Zeb?’
‘Shush… there’s someone out there…’
‘It’s probably just Mack…’
Zeb jumps out of bed and quickly pulls on his jeans and a T-shirt. ‘No… This don’t feel right.’
I look at the clock on the nightstand and see that it’s actually ten past four in the morning. I really hadn’t been able to sleep, had I?
He grabs his gun from the sideboard and I get up and go over to him, grabbing his wrist as panic starts to overtake anything else I’m feeling right now. And then the sound of a gun shot, coming from somewhere inside the house, rings out like an eerie, lone firework and Zeb breaks free from my grip. ‘Stay here.’
‘Zeb!’
‘Stay here, Izzi.’
He’s out the door before I can say anything else, and I quickly pull on my jeans and a shirt and run over to the sideboard, yanking open the top drawer and grabbing my own gun.
My fingers close around it and for a second I just stare at it. And then I remember why I was given this gun, before Sam decided it best I never actually use it for its intended purpose. But there’s nobody gonna tell me I can’t use it now…
Mack
‘Next one’s for her, Slayer. And I know she’s here, I know you came looking for her, so the next bullet that comes outta this gun, I ain’t wasting that one.’
‘You ain’t got the fucking balls.’
Someone told him I was here. Some fucker grassed, and I’m gonna find out who the hell that was and break their fucking neck.
‘Drop the fucking gun, you son-of-a-bitch!’
I don’t turn around, because I knew it was only a matter of time before Zeb joined us. Sam’s not here, he’s over in the next town meeting up with the MC based there to talk business. But Zeb, I knew he’d turn up.
Viper laughs in his face, and I feel the atmosphere shift. ‘Make me. Prick!’
Zeb’s face twists up into a smirk that manages to send a chill through me, man, he’s one loose cannon. I’m even beginning to like the guy, despite the fact he’s fucking Izzi.
‘Yeah. Like that’s gonna happen.’
I take a step back and lean against the wall, folding my arms as I watch the scene play out in front of me. ‘Izzi all right?’ I ask, not moving my eyes away from the stand-off.
‘She’s just fine,’ Zeb replies, his gaze fixed firmly on Viper.
‘Yes. She’s fine. And she’s gonna feel even better once this is over.’
I turn to see Izzi standing in the doorway, gun raised and pointed at Viper but Zeb, he still don’t take his eyes off his target, even though he knows she’s there.
‘Stay out of this, Izzi.’ Zeb’s voice remains calm and cold but this time, instead of obeying him she ignores him. She moves forward, and the atmosphere shifts again, ramping up, and I ain’t got a good feeling about this. ‘Damn it, darlin’!’
‘I’m getting one hell of a feeling of déjà vu here, sweetheart,’ Viper sneers, and I watch with a mixture of shock and twisted admiration as Izzi pulls back on the trigger and fires a shot straight at Viper’s stomach, catching him and everyone else in the room by surprise. And as he drops to the floor in a heap, she walks calmly over to him and kicks him over onto his back. He’s still breathing, but I don’t think she meant to kill him outright, not straightaway. I think I know exactly how she wants this to play out now. ‘Someone needs to keep this bitch under fucking control.’
Both Zeb and I watch as she kicks him again, and then she crouches down and presses the gun firmly into the gaping wound she created. ‘Shut the fuck up, asshole.’
I reach back and stop Zeb from going to her. I think she can deal with this bit all by herself.
‘At least when I killed your daddy and your boyfriend it was quick. You ain’t playing fair here, darlin’.’
She rams the gun deeper into his stomach and he howls in pain, which makes her smile. But that ain’t a smile that suits her beautiful face. ‘Life isn’t fair. And you destroyed mine. So you don’t deserve a quick death, you need to suffer, in pain. You need to go slowly.’
‘You’re one cold-hearted whore.’
She shoves the gun into him one more time before she stands up and stares down at him, her expression impassive, man, there ain’t nothing there. She’s drawn every barrier there is right back up and she ain’t letting any emotion through…
Izzi
‘And d’you know what the strangest thing is? I don’t even want to stay and watch your sorry fucking ass die.’
And I don’t. I don’t care that I’ve just put a bullet in a man. I don’t care that he’s dying right here in front of me, I don’t fucking care. Because all I can see is my father falling to the ground; Aiden face down on the floor, blood pumping from his head, so this – this means nothing. This is retribution. This is me avenging the deaths of my father and my fiancé, this is me, doing what I needed to do.
‘Bitch!’ Viper hisses, and I smile down at him before I spit on his broken body. ‘You’ll get yours, y’hear? You think me dying will stop shit happening to you?’
I walk away, ignoring his pathetic threats, they don’t scare me. Nothing scares me now. And when I reach Zeb and Mack I reach out and rest my hand against Zeb’s shoulder, and I lean in and I kiss him; feel his strength flood into me, refueling me. And his arm circles my waist and pulls me closer and I let him hold me. I feel safe now, here, in his arms.
‘It’s OK, baby,’ he murmurs into my hair, his fingers stroking my arm and I let him prise the gun from my hand. I don’t need it anymore. ‘It’s gonna be OK. Mack and me, we’ll sort this.’
I look up at him, and he kisses me again. ‘I’m gonna go get a shower.’ And then I step out of his arms and head back to our bedroom.
I’m done.
It’s finally over…
Mack
‘She got you, bro.’ I crouch down beside Viper, and his eyes meet mine and there ain’t one flicker of fear in there. He’s from my world. We ain’t scared of dying.
‘She’ll get hers, Slayer. This ain’t the end.’
I light up a cigarette and draw deep. ‘Who told you I was coming here?’
He’s struggling for breath now, and I watch as he coughs up a barrage of blood, so much I flinch backwards to avoid getting covered in it. ‘Let’s just say… all your soldiers they… they ain’t all as loyal as you think they are.’
‘Who told you?’
He looks up at me, and I can see the life draining from him. ‘Fuck you, Mack.’
‘Jesus!’ I stand up and drag a hand across my hair as the bastard closes his eyes and, shit! This fucker even has a smile on his face as he takes his last breath. ‘Jesus!’
‘He gone?’ Zeb comes over and I look up.
‘Yeah. Looks like it. Where’s Izzi?’
He jerks his head back. ‘Bedroom.’
‘She OK?’
He shrugs.
‘Do you care?’
He grabs my shirt and throws me back against the wall.
‘Hey, come on, man. Easy!’
‘Don’t question what I feel for Izzi, OK?’
‘You love her?’
He lets go of me and laughs before turning his back.
‘Hey! I asked you a fucking question.’
He turns around and looks at me, and there’s a darkness behind those eyes, I recognize it. Because I have it too. It’s something we share. A family trait. We’re fucking cursed. ‘We need to clear this mess up.’
‘Do you love her, Zeb?’
He drops to his haunches and bows his head, clasping his hands together between
his knees. ‘I don’t know. OK?’ He raises his gaze and looks right at me. ‘Sometimes it feels wrong, what we’ve done to her; what we turned her into.’
‘You feel guilt?’
He stands up and moves a little further back into my space. ‘I’m not a fucking robot, Mack.’
I hold his gaze, I mean, I look right into those dark eyes and I don’t know what to think. We’re all entering uncertain times now, and I guess we all just gotta stick together and try and make this work. Whatever it turns out to be. ‘Maybe we should make a start on this, huh?’ I jerk my head in the direction of Viper’s now-lifeless body.
‘Yeah.’
‘Then we got some explaining to do, to Sam.’
‘Leave Sam to me.’
‘Shouldn’t you be concentrating on Izzi?’
He stares me down again, but there’s something else there in his eyes now. Something that tells me he ain’t quite as hard as his outer appearance may lead people to believe. Maybe he really does care about her. ‘Come on. We got work to do.’
Or maybe he’s just scared to admit it.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Izzi
I don’t feel numb anymore. I don’t feel like there’s nothing out there for me; I don’t feel tired or angry. I don’t, I… I feel. It’s like a veil’s just been lifted and I can see again. And there isn’t a part of me that feels any hint of guilt at what I’ve just done. That man took everything from me, it was the least he deserved.
I step out of the shower and look in the mirror and I smile as I remember that bastard’s blood on my face. For a long time I didn’t know who I was, who I needed to be; who I wanted to be. I know now.
I close my eyes as I hear him – I know it’s Zeb – walk into the bathroom, and I keep them closed as he winds an arm around my waist and pulls me back against him.
‘It’s all done.’ He rests his mouth against the side of my neck as he murmurs the words and I reach back and wind my fingers in his hair, his clothes rough against my naked body.
Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) Page 29
