They’d come to a big log that had been brought in with the tide and Marshall sank down on it, looking like the lonely little boy he’d once been. “I just don’t know what to think. All my life it’s been me and me alone who worried about my happiness, now my brother has suddenly decided to worry about me, it feels like too little too late.” He said, a touch of anger in his voice.
“Marshall, you have every right to be angry, but that anger isn’t going to get you anywhere. Maybe it’s time to let it go and move on, take what’s being offered and enjoy it. Wouldn’t you like to have a relationship with your brother?” Heather knew all too well that sometimes the only thing you could do to save yourself was to forgive those that had hurt you.
Marshall wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but he was saved from answering when the kids came running up, each with a dripping wad of kelp in their hands. “Daddy, daddy look what we found.” Chloe shouted as she ran across the rocky beach.
Just as she got to Marshall, she tripped and both she and the kelp landed in Marshall’s lap. He jumped to his feet, knocking Chloe on her butt and the kelp landed on top of her making her scream. When he picked her up, she had kelp hanging off her shoulders and down her back, Heather was trying her best not to laugh, but Marshall couldn’t hold back when he saw his daughter.
Chloe was on the verge of tears but when she saw her father’s face, the emotion quickly changed to one of confusion. “I love your new hairdo.” Marshall said, then started laughing.
Heather and Tyler burst into laughter as well and for long minutes that was the only sound on the beach. When they’d all calmed down, Chloe said, “I’m sorry daddy. Tyler showed me these little snails that live on the kelp and I wanted to show you.”
“It’s okay sweetheart.” He said, setting her on her feet. “Let’s look at them now. Then I think you and I better go home and take a shower unless you like smelling like a fish.”
Chloe looked down at the dress she was wearing and the tears began to form in her eyes again. “I ruined my dress. Mommy is going to be mad.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new one and maybe we better think about getting you some different clothes to wear while we’re here.” Marshall said, shooting Heather a questioning glance.
“I think that’s an excellent idea. You can go into town tomorrow and do some shopping.”
Chloe cheered right up, “Oh good, I like shopping.”
It was almost midnight and Heather felt strange knocking on Marshall’s door, she’d been thinking about him since the four of them had split up to go to their rooms for the night. The images that had been fliting through her mind were definitely not clean, nor were they productive since they were completely one sided. If she’d known when she agreed to do this favor for Seth that she’d become so emotionally involved with both Chloe and Marshall she might have refused. Her life was fine just the way it was, she and Tyler had found a home they loved and a life that was fulfilling. If she occasionally got lonely, it was a price she was willing to pay.
But Marshall had turned all that upside down and he didn’t even know it. Her attraction to him had only grown after their talk on the beach earlier that night, an attraction that was bordering on obsession since she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since then. If it had only been a physical attraction, she could have dealt with that, but it was more than that, underneath Marshall’s shallow exterior there was a kind and caring man just waiting to emerge. It was that man that she couldn’t stop thinking about.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked softly on the door, part of her hoped he was so sound asleep he wouldn’t hear her, but another part hoped that he’d open the door. It was only a few second before he opened the door, his hair was ruffled as if he’d been running his finger through it and all he was wearing was a pair of pajama pants. A bolt of desire shot through her at the sight of his naked chest, and it was all she could do not to step up to him and run her hands over the bulging muscles.
Realizing that she was staring, she blushed and managed to say. “I just heard that the mare the kids have been watching is just about to foal. If you and Chloe want to come, Tyler and I are heading down there as soon as we get dressed.” Then she turned and fled back to her room, her face on fire.
When she walked in the door, Tyler was just pulling on his coat, he took one look at her face and asked, “Mommy what’s wrong?”
“Nothing sweetheart.” She said, trying to shake off the desire she was feeling. “Are you ready?”
Chapter 9
When Marshall and Chloe finally made it down to the barn, he saw that Heather and Tyler were already there along with several other families. They were all gathered around the mare, close enough to see, but far enough away that they wouldn’t disturb her. He’d been tossing and turning in bed thinking about her when she’d knocked on the door, fighting an attraction to her that he didn’t want or need. Simone was the woman he was supposed to be thinking about, but every time he tried to bring her face into focus, Heather popped into his mind.
He pushed Chloe through the crowd of people so she could sit with the rest of the kids in the front, then backed away. Heather hadn’t noticed him yet, so he had a chance to watch her, to try and evaluate what it was that made it so hard to get her out of his mind. She’d put on a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt against the chill of the night and pulled her hair back from her face exposing her strong cheek bones and full lips, lips that were made to be kissed. Shocked at the path his thoughts had taken, he closed his eyes and tried to erase that mental picture from his mind.
He was trying so hard to banish the thought of kissing Heather, that he didn’t hear her come up behind him. “Nothing like being up in the middle of the night.” She said, then stepped back when Marshall jumped. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Marshall smiled down at her and moved closer unable to stop himself, “It’s okay. I was lost in my thoughts.” He said, then leaned on the rail next to her, where they could still see the kids but were away from the rest of the people.
“You’ve been through a lot in the last week, I’m sorry that I caused some of that.” Heather said, still feeling guilty for deceiving Marshall.
“It has been a long week, but on the whole, I think it’s been a good one. I don’t know if I’ll be able to say that after two weeks on the trail though, I’ve never been one for the outdoors.” He said, moving closer to her.
“I wouldn’t worry too much, we’re going to take it easy for the kids.” Heather said, her heart hammering in her chest when she got a whiff of Marshall’s cologne or maybe it was just the way he smelled, like something wonderful that she couldn’t quite name.
Marshall stared at her profile for a long time, wanting to tell her how much he’d come to rely on her, but could only say, “As long as you’re there, I think we’ll be just fine.”
He must have shocked her with his words, because she turned and looked up at him, her brown eyes questioning. Without even thinking he bent his head down and kissed her, shocked when a rush of electricity spread through him when his lips touched hers. The kiss only lasted a minute before Heather pushed him away, but it had told him more than he’d ever imagined a simple kiss could.
“Marshall, that was a bad idea.” Heather said, looking around her to cover the fact that she could barely stand, the power of Marshall’s kiss still rushing through her. “I thought you were in love with Simone.”
Marshall backed away a few steps, confused by what he’d done. He was supposed to be in love with Simone, but when he’d kissed Heather it had felt so right, so wonderful. “I’m sorry Heather, I shouldn’t have done that.” He said, and walked away.
Heather watched him go, wondering if she’d just dreamed that kiss, it had been almost too wonderful to be real. But wonderful or not, Marshall was involved with someone else and she wasn’t about to get in the middle of it. The kiss had just been a product of all the emotional turmoil Marshall had been through in the
last week. It had nothing to do with her, had only been filling a need for intimacy that Marshall had been feeling just then.
The best thing she could do was walk away and forget it. They had to spend two weeks together and letting that kiss mean something would only cause her pain and frustration. She didn’t need a man in her life, she was just fine on her own, and even if she wanted a man, Marshall Montgomery with his plans for stardom wasn’t the kind of man she wanted. But even those thoughts couldn’t erase the way his lips had felt on hers, or the way that kiss had made her tingle all over. Sighing with frustration she went back inside the barn, promising herself that she’d be on her guard around Marshall from now on, she was obviously much too vulnerable around him.
The sight of the village brought a cheer from the adults in the party. After an entire week of sleeping in tents and cooking out in the open, everyone was happy to see signs of civilization. The kids were as excited as the adults because they were going to have a sleepover with all of the young people of the village. Arranged by Seth to give the adults a night off, after dinner together, they’d be swept away to sleep in the women’s lodge and then spend the next day learning how the villagers lived.
Heather was relieved to have some time to herself and planned to go to bed early, but that plan was quickly derailed when several of the women invited her to join them for drinks after dinner. As much as she wanted to sleep, she decided that it would be fun to have some adult time with the women, many of whom she’d become good friends with over the last two years. But the fun didn’t last long when they all began discussing Marshall, twittering about how handsome he was and speculating about his love life.
When all eyes turned to her, she explained about Simone which made her feel strange, as if the woman was her competition. She didn’t tell them that both she and Seth were suspicious of the woman, but the women picked up on it and peppered her with questions about Simone and the play. When the conversation finally moved on she was relieved, talking about Marshall only confused her, made her wonder if there was any chance that he might return her feelings, he had kissed her after all.
But she knew how ridiculous that was, Marshall wasn’t interested in her, it had just been the night and the intimacy they’d shared on the beach was not a real attraction. It wasn’t long before she began to feel the two glasses of wine she’d drank, barely able to keep her eyes open, she said her goodbyes.
“I think I’ll go with you. The boys won’t be finished for a while but I can hardly keep my eyes open.” Lauren said, getting to her feet.
“What are they doing anyway?” Heather asked, when she’d discovered that the men and women had different places to get together it had bothered her a little bit.
“Drinking and telling stories, you know the usual man stuff.” Laruen said, laughing.
“It seems strange to me that the men and women separate themselves like that.” Heather said.
“It’s not like that all the time, in fact if you’d wanted to stay with them no one would have said a word, but I promise you that was the last place you’d want to be on a night like this.” Lauren explained. “Don’t think that the women play some kind of subservient role around here, in fact the chief of the village is a woman. You met her tonight, Marci was elected after her grandfather passed away last winter.”
Heather felt much better knowing that what she’d seen that night wasn’t the norm in the tribe. “That’s good to know, I was feeling a little like I’d stepped back in time.”
They walked on in silence for a little while, then Lauren said, “You and Marshall have gotten pretty close over the last few weeks. I don’t know him very well, but he seems to like you a lot.”
Heather wasn’t sure how to respond to that statement, wasn’t sure what Laruen meant by like, so she said, “I guess we have been spending a lot of time together, but he did need a lot of help on the trail and Chloe can still be a handful. We’ve become friends I guess.”
Lauren and Seth had both noticed the budding relationship between Marshall and Heather, had wondered if there was more to it than friendship. Marshall hadn’t mentioned Simone once on the entire trip, had in fact been silent about the play and buying the theatre as if it had suddenly become unimportant to him.
They’d reached the little one room cabin where she was staying and they stopped on the porch to look at the stars. “Hmm, it looked like more than friendship to me.” Lauren said, laughing when Heather blushed. “He’s a good-looking guy, I can’t blame you.”
“Nothing is going on between us except friendship. He’s got Simone don’t forget. Besides I’m not exactly the kind of woman a man like Marshall would go for.” Heather said, repeating what she’d been telling herself for days.
Marshall had gotten under her skin like no other man ever had, but she wasn’t going to admit that out loud. “I think you might be selling yourself short, Heather. I’m your best friend and I know what a great woman you are. Marshall would be lucky to have you.” Lauren said, giving her friend a hug.
“You’re my best friend, you have to say that.” Heather said, returning the hug. “I do have a crush on him, but that’s all it is. Nothing is happening or going to happen between us. His life and mine are so different it wouldn’t work anyway.”
“We’ll see.” Lauren said, then walked off before Heather could argue.
Marshall and Seth both stumbled a little as they walked out of the men’s lodge, “What the hell was that we were drinking?” Marshall asked, steadying himself against the building.
“It’s a ceremonial drink they’ve been making for hundreds of years. It really packs a punch.” Seth said, slurring his words.
“There’s no way I can go to sleep yet.” Marshall said, sitting down on a bench in front of the little store on the main street of the village.
“Well, it might not be the best time, but we do need to talk.” Seth said, sitting down next to him.
Marshall had known that this conversation was coming but didn’t really mind. The truth was that he hadn’t even thought of the play or Simone for days. What had been so important to him had suddenly seemed rather childish compared to what Seth was doing. In fact, for the first time in his life, he didn’t crave the lime light, he was perfectly happy to be just where he was, just a regular person.
Chloe had changed so much in only a few weeks, from the horrible spoiled little girl into just another kid, and he’d discovered that he like being her dad. For the last week, he’d been living in the moment, every since his last phone call with Simone, who had turned on him like a snake. Well, maybe it hadn’t been that bad, but it had shocked him when she’d exploded.
“Marshall, you promised that you’d talk to your brother before the trip so you wouldn’t have to go. What am I supposed to do now? You’re gone and I’m all alone.” She wailed.
Marshall had immediately felt guilty, between the changes in his new home and his conflicting emotions about Heather, he’d forgotten to talk to Seth, had in fact forgotten that he’d promised to talk to him before the trip.
“I’m sorry Simone, but it seems like Seth really wants to fix our relationship and I can’t walk away from that. I never had a family like everyone else and I feel like I missed out on something great.” Marshall had tried to explain.
“Stop being such an idiot, he’s just playing you. You know that theatre isn’t going to be there forever, someone else could step in anytime and buy it. Is that what you want? I thought you wanted to produce my play.”
Marshall had pulled the phone away from his ear, and looked at it, sure that he was talking to someone else. But when he put it back up to his ear and said, “I’m sorry, it can’t be helped.” Simone suddenly changed again.
“I’m sorry too. I guess it’s just hard for me to wait and I miss you terribly.” She said, the old Simone back.
Marshall was silent for a long time, then he said, “I won’t have cell service until we get to the village, I’ll call you then.”
“I’ll miss you and I love you.” Simone had purred into the phone, but Marshall’s eyes had been opened by her little fit earlier and he was suddenly able to detect how fake the words sounded.
“Me too.” He’d said, then hung up, his stomach a knot of disappointment.
Now sitting next to Seth, he wanted desperately to talk about his conflicting emotions and for the first time in his life his brother was the person he wanted to talk to. The high from the alcohol was beginning to fade with his somber thoughts. He’d been avoiding thinking about Simone and Anchorage since they’d gotten to the village and his phone had lit up with all the missed calls from her.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He finally said very quietly.
Seth looked at him surprised, “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m starting to doubt everything.” Marshall said, practically spitting the words out. Then he took a deep breath and said the words he’d been avoiding for days, “I don’t know about the play. I don’t know if I should buy that theatre. I don’t know if I’m really in love with Simone.”
Seth was silent for a long time, letting his brother collect himself. “It sounds to me like you’ve come to a cross roads in your life. Can I ask what caused this?”
Marshall thought about Seth’s question for a long time, then said, “I don’t know if it’s just one thing. For so long I’ve had one goal, to become a famous actor, but over the last few weeks that goal has become less important. Out on the trail I never even thought about it, it wasn’t until we got back here that I realized that we hadn’t talked.”
“I’ve been where you are. It’s not easy to turn away from what you’ve embraced your entire life.” Seth said, letting Marshall know that he understood.
You're Not Alone Page 9
