by Jane Corrie
'Seems we'll have to do something about your appetite,' commented Lloyd, looking at her half-finished meal. 'It used to rival mine, in spite of that sylph-like figure of yours,' he added in mock sorrow, making Tanya respond with a weak grin, but no comment.
Having refused dessert, she was longing to be off. She wanted to get the next hurdle over with as quickly
as possible, and, with luck, painlessly.
She was so quiet on the return journey that Lloyd became anxious about her. 'Feeling okay?' he asked her, giving her a quick glance before turning his attention to the road again.
'I was just wondering if I've packed everything,' she lied. 'Most of it's done, and I suppose Connie will remember whatever I've forgotten.'
'I've been thinking of inviting Connie for a visit,' Lloyd said, shrewdly guessing that packing wasn't the only thing on Tanya's mind. 'She told me she'd some relations in Dallas, so she could make it a round trip.'
Tanya gave him a surprised look. 'Has she?' she said. 'She didn't tell me that.'
Lloyd gave a grin at this. 'Well, I guess she was angling for an invite. All she really wants to do is to check up on you. I'm certainly not arguing with those sentiments. Besides,' he added thoughtfully, 'I took to Connie. She's going to be kinda lost now in that big place, isn't she? I think we'll leave it for a few weeks, then invite her over.' He gave Tanya a quick look before he added, 'Then we'll ask her to make the stay permanent. I trust you'll be in favour of such a move?' he asked with a smile.
Tanya gave a quick nod of assent. She hadn't let her thoughts linger on what would happen to Connie after she had gone. She had many friends in the valley, but as Connie herself would have said, they weren't family. It would be nice to have her with her, almost home from home, she thought, and felt a rush of gratitude towards Lloyd for his thoughtfulness.
When they arrived back at Orchard House, Tanya's courage almost deserted her when she saw Kade's sleek
Mercedes drawn up beside the house. At Lloyd's cheerful, 'See you at dinner,' as he started up the Land Rover, she was tempted to ask him to stay and give her moral support, but knew that such a move would infuriate Kade, so she just stood there and watched the tail lights disappear round the bend in the drive.
She found Kade in her father's study, seated at the desk and immersed in paper work. Her heart ached with love for him as she walked slowly towards the desk awaiting an acknowledgement of her arrival. Didn't he care one iota for her? She clenched her hands on the thought. He didn't, and she knew it, but didn't seem able to accept it.
'So you're off tomorrow?' he said abruptly, as if she was going on a cruise, and not right out of his life.
His bright blue stare met her veiled grey-green eyes. Not for worlds would she let him know that he was breaking her heart by his casual approach to what was the end of the line for her.
Kade's eye's travelled down her face slowly and rested on Lloyd's gift, gleaming brightly against the dark blue of her dress. 'Present from Lloyd?' he asked, in a matter-of-fact voice, and before she could answer he went on, 'Seems you're going to be spoilt.'
There was a touch of irony in his voice that did not escape Tanya. 'I still think it would have been better if you'd applied yourself to the task I set you,' he added harshly. 'Work never hurt anyone. It's idleness that causes mischief.'
Tanya's eyes opened wide. Was he accusing her of idleness? 'You didn't give me a chance ' she replied hotly. 'I was quite willing to pull my weight.'
'Were you?' he said scathingly. 'I wonder just how
much you took in about the business during the first few weeks. Very little, unless I miss my guess. It was all a game to you, wasn't it? You'd made your mind up right from the start, hadn't you? In spite of our bargain. And don't tell me I'm wrong,' he shot out at her as she was about to deny this. 'Give me a little credit for some intelligence!'
Tanya sat down weakly on the chair beside the desk. All he had said was true, and there was no point now in denying it. For the first time she saw how it must have been for Kade, who had still tried to keep his end of the bargain. Of the patient lectures he had given her, and the time spent in the offices to give her a good grounding.
She ought to have known she couldn't fool him, and she hadn't really tried to. Half the time she had been so furious with him that she hadn't bothered to hide her indifference.
No wonder he had acted as he had! Taking his revenge on her as compensation for her wilful behaviour. It was small wonder that he hadn't strangled her! She swallowed. In his eyes she still was a child, and a very spoilt one at that. Her attitude had been the same as that of a child determined to have its own way, come what may.
It was a little too late to say that she was sorry now; he wouldn't believe her, and she couldn't blame him. It wouldn't make any difference either way, for now she could see what he had meant when he had said that there was no possibility of them starting afresh. She knew that she would continually annoy him and in doing so, bring out the worst in him. Sooner or
later, the inevitable would happen, and this they would both regret.
A cold shiver ran down her back as she envisaged the possible consequences that would follow. Kade would marry her, of that she had no doubt. His sense of honour would ensure this, because she was John Hume's daughter, and only for that reason would he make an honest woman of her. She swallowed. No matter how much she loved him, she didn't want him on those terms.
He had known this, she thought wearily as she looked back at him. He was experienced enough to see the way they were heading. It wouldn't have mattered with anyone else, but not her. Her soft lips firmed; and she had dared to think that he cared for her! All that he had cared about was protecting himself from an embroilment with a young upstart of a girl who happened to bear the name of Hume.
'Isn't it time we got down to business?' she asked quietly, wanting to get it over with in the quickest possible time.
'When I'm good and ready,' growled Kade, and gave her a mocking look. 'In a hurry to be off, are you?' he said jeeringly. 'Looking forward to all those parties your wealthy host is bound to throw in your honour, are you? Well, I haven't finished with you yet. You're not getting off that lightly.'
Tanya stared back at him. Now what? she thought wearily; was he about to deliver a lecture on how she ought to behave once she had cut loose from his restraining hold? Remembering a few of the things she had said at their last meeting, this was not altogether surprising, and she waited for the lecture.
'What kind of a settlement were you hoping for?' he shot out at her.
Tanya blinked. She was taken completely off her guard, and when she had recovered she hated Kade for his insensibility, and for his casual attitude towards her inward misery. 'What do you want me to say?' she replied quietly, wondering how much a broken heart was worth. She couldn't look at him but stared down at her hands twisted together in her lap. 'Only you know what's mine, and what's yours. I only know my share is not very much,' she added on a weary note, `so you needn't worry about my feeling cheated.'
'For once you're right!' he replied grimly.
Her hands clenched tighter together. She couldn't love him, she thought bewilderedly. He was a brute! Not content with making her fall in love with him he was now twisting the knife in her heart, exacting every ounce of revenge while she was still within reach, and she had to take it, she had no choice. One thing she did know and that was that she'd never let him know how much he had hurt her.
'There's this house, of course,' he went on casually, in a way that invited her comment and made her glance up at him swiftly. 'I'm thinking of moving in,' he added.
Once again his abrupt change of conversation startled her. When he had bought her out he could do what he liked with the property, it was no concern of hers. It would be nice for Connie though, she thought, knowing how much she would welcome such an arrangement. 'Of course,' she murmured politely, showing that she had no objection to such a plan.
Kade's blue eyes pierced
through her. 'Is that all you
can say?' he demanded harshly. 'You were born here, remember?'
Tanya swallowed hard. What was she supposed to do? Get down on her knees and plead with him not to send her away? Tell him how much she loved him and that she would do anything he asked of her if only she could stay?
Only the thought of how much he would enjoy watching her squirm prevented her from giving way to these thoughts and throwing caution to the winds. It was just another gambit of his to get his own back on her.
Her resolve hardened when she recalled the way he had accused her of playing a game of pretence when learning the business. He was now indulging in the same kind of game and thoroughly enjoying himself at her expense. 'It's your property now,' she said coldly. 'I didn't think you'd let it remain empty.'
Kade gave her another long searching look that she met with a touch of defiance in hers. The look plainly said, 'You're wasting your time if you're trying to rile me, Kade Player!'
She saw his lips thin, and his strong jaw harden. 'Real little home bird, aren't you?' he said, biting out the words with a viciousness that frightened Tanya. 'I'll get a cheque made out. No doubt you're in a hurry to finish packing,' he added sarcastically, 'so I won't detain you.'
Tanya's mind was in a whirl as she made her way to her room after Kade's abrupt dismissal. She knew she ought to be grateful that she had come out of the meeting relatively unscathed, physically anyway, if not mentally.
Whatever she had imagined would take place at that meeting she had never envisaged it ending with a furious Kade. She shook her head dumbly. It was all wrong, he should have congratulated her on making the right decision, and tried not to smile too heartily as he waved her out of the office and out of his life.
She sat down shakily on the bed. Was it because it hadn't gone exactly as he planned it? He had tried to rile her and he hadn't succeeded, was that why he was so furious?
It was when she recalled something that Connie had said that she thought that she had the answer. Connie had said that she owed Kade a lot for what he'd done for her family. Tanya gulped on the thought. She hadn't said one word of thanks to him, and she ought to have done. If she brought out the worst in Kade, then he had the same effect upon her. When she was with him she couldn't seem to say the right things, only the wrong ones.
They went together like fire and water, she thought sadly, and it wasn't altogether her fault. It was becoming a vicious circle and she was better out of it.
Mechanically, she started finishing her packing. If only things could have been different, she thought miserably, as she closed the case and put it down on the floor beside her other cases. Love was supposed to be a wonderful thing, but it had brought her nothing but misery. When she was away from Kade her heart ached for him, and when she was with him she invariably found herself resenting his highhanded methods.
She heard the slam of the front door and knew that Kade had left the house for his quarters. Her chin came
up in a resolute action. She had one last chance to make her peace with him, and she was determined not to be put off this time. There would be an opportunity after dinner, she told herself, for she was certain that Lloyd would take himself off early in order to leave Kade and Tanya to make their final arrangements over the share-out of the business, and if this thought didn't occur to him, then she would ask to see Kade alone.
Tanya made a special point of dressing for dinner that night. She chose her favourite silk dress of ice blue, and knew that it brought out the green lights in her eyes. Her hair came in for special attention too, and she went so far as to touch up her lips with an orange-tinted lipstick that enhanced her honey-coloured tan, that she had still retained even though she had done very little sunbathing since her return to Tasmania.
In her way it was a salute to Kade. She wanted him to remember her this way, even though he saw her as a child, and always would. She put a dab of expensive perfume on her wrist and took one last look in the mirror before going down to join the men, as soon as she heard the one sharp ring of the doorbell that always announced their arrival. Her head was held high as she left the room. She knew that she had achieved her target in making herself look as attractive as possible, and was well satisfied with her appearance.
There was a low 'Wow!' from Lloyd as she entered the dining room, and she waited to hear Kade's comments, glancing swiftly round the room only to find that he was not present.
Her welcoming smile faded as the realisation dawned on her that Kade had chosen to give her a final snub. He wasn't going to be late. He just wasn't coming!
Tanya knew this with painful clarity, even before Lloyd handed her an envelope. 'Kade sent you this,' he said lightly, not realising her inward turmoil as she tried to grasp the fact that Kade could do such a thing to her. 'He sends his apologies,' he went on cheerfully, 'but I guess he's got a heavy date. No doubt he'll be there to see us off tomorrow,' he commented, in a hearty voice that made Tanya want to scream out at him that she wouldn't bet on it. Kade had pushed her out of his life, and in his eyes she had already gone.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE following day was a complete blur to Tanya. She knew she had said goodbye to a stern-faced Kade and a weeping Connie standing beside him. She had also politely thanked him for all he had done for her family, and this only served to make Connie's tears flow faster, so she made it quick and to the point.
The next minute they were on their way with Tanya staring straight ahead, not trusting herself to look back and give a last wave.
Lloyd wisely made no comment, but he must have felt like the villain of the piece. Kade's attitude and Connie's tears would have presented such a picture.
Only later, when they were on the plane, did he make a comment on their leavetaking, and then only about Connie. 'She sure took it hard,' he said quietly, and then looked at Tanya who had gone into the numbed state of sheer misery. 'She'll be looking you up in a few months' time. I guess I'll never understand women,' he ended dolefully.
Tanya made a great effort to pull herself out of the doldrums, and told Lloyd that Connie had been with the family for years. 'My going back was like having Mother back again,' she explained gently. 'Connie loved her too, Lloyd.'
At this there was a shadow in his eyes and he nodded slowly, showing her that he understood now, and the
rest of the journey was passed in idle comments made at various stages of the trip.
Lloyd's home was all that Tanya had thought it would be, a long low ranch-type building set in acres of surrounding paddocks, with landscaped gardens immediately bordering the home precincts.
If happiness could be bought by luxurious surroundings, then Tanya would have been very happy. She was introduced to the house staff, that consisted of a middle-aged housekeeper who viewed Tanya's youth with a look of consternation in her eyes, but was determined to be polite at all costs, and an elderly man who was introduced as Lloyd's secretary. Then at Lloyd's suggestion, she was taken to her room to freshen up.
The housekeeper who escorted her was pleasant enough but reserved, and it was plain that she had misinterpreted Tanya's presence in the house, and felt that her employer ought to have known better than to encourage the attentions of a girl young enough to be his daughter.
The room turned out to be a suite, where Tanya had her own bathroom, shower, and sitting room, that could if needs be provide her with a certain amount of privacy. As her travel-weary eyes swept round her domain, she thought of her bedroom at home and it was not a very sensible thing to do, particularly when she recalled that Kade had bought the house from her, and that it was highly unlikely that the long room with its patterned prints of horse motifs, that she had loved and flatly refused to have removed to make way for a modern pattern of wallpaper when the annual decorating was due, would remain as she had known it.
One could not say that the bedroom that she now
stood in bore any resemblance to the room that she was thinking of. Although
beautifully furnished, it was somehow impersonal, as all guest rooms were, and brought home the fact that as luxurious as her surroundings were, she did not belong there. She was there for a kind of rehabilitation, she told herself. She had to get Kade out of her system, and she ought to be grateful that there was no time limit on her stay, and that Lloyd actually wanted her there and hoped that she would make the stay permanent.
The days slipped into weeks, and Tanya was swept into a round of social calls that resulted in parties, Lloyd starting them off with a grand affair held especially as a 'how-do party' as Lloyd had put it, to introduce her to his neighbours.
Now that Tanya's position in Lloyd's household was clarified Mrs Jukes, the housekeeper, had lost all of her previous reserve and showed definite signs of wanting to take over Connie's role of half-servant and half-guardian to Tanya.
With so many people willing her to be happy, Tanya felt a traitor in not being able to wholly comply with these sentiments. It was not that she didn't try—she did. She threw herself into the numerous entertainments offered, and rarely an evening went by but either company was expected, or she and Lloyd were due to put in an appearance elsewhere.
This way of life was not new to her, it had been the same when her mother was alive. There had been times in the past when the hectic round of parties, the continual need to be 'having a good time' and a constant wish to 'circulate' and have as many similar minded people around you as possible had mystified Tanya,
who would, had she been given the choice, have settled for a quieter existence.
She was no longer mystified. With a painful clarity born out of experience, she now knew why her mother had acted as she had. She must, she had thought sadly, have loved Lloyd for a long time, and being the kind of man he was, he had determinedly set his sights on his goal, refusing to be put off by her frantic attempts to remove him from the scene. But that hadn't worked and the only course left to her was to gather many friends around her. There was safety in numbers.
