“No matter what happens, promise me that you’ll never stop talking to me. Promise me that we’ll always be able to tell each other whatever we’re feeling.” Looking up at him more closely, she put her hand on his chest and continued. “Can you promise me that, Rex?”
God, she looked so beautiful. And sweet, she looked so damn sweet. Everything inside of him was telling him to kiss her again. He wanted to taste her lips just one more time. Oh, hell. “Of course, I can promise you that. Always, we will always talk to each other. There won’t be any more days of silence. I promise.” He winked at her.
The smile she gave him squeezed at his heart. Snuggling up closer to him and bringing her feet up underneath her on the couch, she got comfy. It was a way that they had spent many nights together in comfortable silence. Never once in all the months they had stayed in and watched TV in this position had it ever bothered him. But now, he was suddenly all too aware of how snugly her body fit with his. How good it felt to hold her against him? Damn it! What the hell was wrong with him? He tried to recite baseball statistics as they flashed on the screen, hoping that would get his mind back on track.
He watched the remainder of the extra-inning game in silence. He knew she had fallen asleep. She always loved it when games went into extra innings. He would have woken her, but she was sleeping so peacefully, and he had the sneaking suspicion she didn’t get much sleep last night. He had, but only thanks to his buddy Jack Daniels. He didn’t want to move her, but they had fallen asleep on her couch too many times before. He knew that if they both stayed like this, they would both wake up sore and cranky.
Gently, he began to get up as he let her body lie on the couch where he was sitting. Going to her bedroom, he pulled down her covers and got things ready for her. Coming back into the living room, he decided to pick up the mess they had made from dinner. After he had loaded their dishes in the dishwasher and discarded their trash, he went back to get the sleeping beauty.
His intention was to pick her up and carry her to bed, but something stopped him. He sat on the coffee table and just stared at her. He had an ache in his heart that was killing him. He didn’t know what it meant, but he knew it centered on Shelby. Truth be told, he didn’t understand any of this. How could they have been such close friends for this long without this desire that was consuming him now? He wanted so much to touch her, kiss her, and hold her. Only not like a friend.
He wanted to bury himself in her. Basking in what he was sure would be the sweetest hot vise of wet pleasure. Showing her that their bodies intertwined was what their destiny was. He wanted to make her–hell, he didn’t know. He just knew things were different now. He was going to have to fight very hard to keep these feelings locked away. Besides their friendship, he knew she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She had been through so much. There was no way he would take advantage of her again. He couldn’t. Just as the last thought left his mind, she opened her eyes and looked straight at him.
She smiled. “Are you leaving?”
God, I hope not. “I wasn’t planning on it. I was going to take you to bed and stay here, you know, in case you needed me or something.”
Shelby stretched and yawned. “You’re so sweet, Rex. But no, I think I’ll be fine. You go on home. I’ve got to grow up sometime.”
He wanted to hear her to say, please don’t go Rex, stay with me, but she didn’t. The realization that she didn’t want him to stay hit like a ton of bricks.
He never thought she’d say those words. He could say he was too tired. She’d let him stay, but then he wouldn’t be here because she wanted him there. It would be out of a friendly obligation. Damn.
“All right, if you’re sure, I’m going to head out.”
He got up from the coffee table as she tried to right herself on the couch to stand. As she got up, she stubbed her toe and stumbled toward him. Rex turned and caught her in his arms. They stared at each other for a moment before he was forced to break the silence. If he didn’t, he was going to grab her and do things that friends didn’t do.
“Geez, you are a klutz,” Rex teased.
They both laughed. But Shelby felt unsteady. What was changing with her? Why did the feeling of Rex’s arms around her feel so different? She had to rid herself of those thoughts. He was adult enough to move on from something he viewed as a mistake. So she would have to also. She couldn’t risk losing him altogether.
After Rex checked all her locks on the windows and doors, he said good night. He gave her grief for not doing something about the shoddy locks on her windows right away that day. But he said they would take care of it tomorrow. When he had told her “they” would take care of it, she felt an unfamiliar flutter on her insides. As much as she tried to dismiss the thought, she was afraid she was starting to see Rex as more than a friend. That was something she could not afford to do. She already depended on him way too much. It was why she hadn’t asked him to stay. It would have been nothing unusual. He had spent the night with her so many times that it would have seemed normal. But she had to face reality. He already admitted he wasn’t dating that much anymore. As much as she wanted him around, she also didn’t want him to end up resenting her for being too needy.
After she locked the door, she went to her bedroom to lie there alone, suddenly remembering all the times Rex had laid in this same bed with her, holding her. Grabbing on to a pillow, she held on tight, wishing it was Rex.
On the drive home, Rex was thoroughly disgusted with himself. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the desire to kiss Shelby. Sure, he wanted more, but he also knew she barely was able to give her kiss. Cursing himself on his way to his condo for being such a horrible friend, he unlocked his door.
As soon as he walked in, he knew something was off. The place was dark, and he heard no noise. But he could feel it. Someone was in here. It was a sixth sense that he had developed in his SEAL days that had saved his life as well as his brothers in arms many times. Deciding to play it casual because whoever it was didn’t know he knew they were there, he walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and started to whistle.
Walking casually through his condo, he was primed and ready for someone to jump out. When nothing happened, he headed back to the bedroom. Still nothing. But now he could hear something. Laughing? He turned on his bedroom light. Oh, damn!
“Hi, Rexy! Are you surprised to see me?” the blonde asked as she licked her lips and eyed him seductively.
“Rina, what the hell are you doing in here? How did you get in?” Who the hell did she think she was anyway?
Shocked by his less than friendly greeting, she leaned up to cover herself.
“What? Suddenly now you’re modest?” Rex chided her.
“I–well, I thought you’d be happy to see me. I guess I was wrong. I’ll get my clothes and –” Tears started to well up in her eyes.
Oh, hell. He couldn’t stand the tears, never could. “Listen, I’m sorry.” Rex walked over to the chair in his room and picked up her clothes to hand to her. “I wasn’t expecting you. How did you get in anyway?”
She looked up at him. “I sort of persuaded the door guy downstairs. What’s his name, Tim?”
“Jim. What do you mean persuaded? I pay a lot of money to live in this building because of the security.” This really ticked him off.
“Don’t be mad at him. I was very–um, persuasive. Rex, I just wanted to see you so bad. You haven’t returned any of my phone calls in weeks, and I missed you. We used to see each other at least once a week if not more. Then suddenly you cut me off. I don’t understand what I did wrong.”
God, he hated this part. This is why he always told his bed partners up front that that was the extent of their relationship. The bedroom. Most of them understood. But every now and then, one would creep up on him, thinking they had a relationship. “Look, I’m sorry. I should have called you. We had some great times together. Really, we did. But, I’ve sort of changed lately. I need something more than just a c
asual fling.” Shit, that didn’t come out right.
“Oh, Rex. I knew it! I knew if I was patient enough you would want the same things I do. Make love to me, Rex. Take me.” She lay back down on the bed, his bed, and was sprawled out, completely naked.
Crap! “No, Rina, I’m sorry. You misunderstood. I’m sort of seeing someone else.” A lie, but it was the quickest he could come up with on such short notice.
Realization donned on her face, and she got up and started scrambling to put her clothes back on. “Well, I must look like quite the fool.”
“No, Rina. I’m the fool. I should have been up front with you weeks ago.” He really was an ass.
As she got on her last shoe and he was walking her to the door, she stopped and turned. “It’s her, isn’t it?”
“Who?” He had no clue whom she was talking about. He never talked with women he slept with about other women.
“That girl, the one you’re always so worried about, Shelly.”
Had he told her about Shelby? That was a slip he usually didn’t make. “It’s Shelby, and she’s just a friend.”
“Rex, look, I may be stupid enough to use any means necessary to break into your place in an attempt to seduce you. But even I saw the look on your face every time she called. Every time you would push me out of your bed so you could run to her. It’s obvious that you’re in love with her. So don’t insult my intelligence.” She walked out of his apartment and slammed the door.
In love with her? No way. Rex Metcalf doesn’t fall in love. He cares about Shelby more than anyone else in this world. But that doesn’t mean that he’s in love with her. Sure, he loves her. She is all he sees when he thinks of his future, but it’s not like he’s in love with her. Is he?
She was waking up. She didn’t want to. The drugs her mom had been giving her were dulling the pain. She was able to sleep without reliving the horrors of the previous day. She looked over at her bedside table and saw a note.
Shelby,
Take a shower, make yourself smell pretty. Then put this on. I have a surprise for you later.
Mom
Cringing, Shelby got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. It had been weeks since that night in the kitchen when she was forced to come to terms with a terrible realization. Not only was her mother a horrible excuse for a human being but she had no problem using her daughter as a whore to suit her own needs. Shelby couldn’t be certain, but she now believed her mom was getting money from all of the men she brought in here. The stale smell of sex in the room always made her nauseated, but today, it was especially pungent. The sheets hadn’t been changed in at least a week. And she had lost count of how many men had been in here since.
As she reached in the shower to turn on the water as high and as hot as it would go, she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked horrible. She had dark rings under her eyes, and she didn’t eat very much. Just enough to survive because her mother had told her she didn’t want her getting fat. Rubbing the darkness under her eyes, she was at least thankful that there was no more bruising. The blows and subsequent bruises used to hurt. Laughing at herself, she realized that she could have a dozen bruises on her face and she wouldn’t feel a thing. Looking at the track marks on her arms, she knew why. Every time a man was to come in her room, her mother would come in right before and give her what she called “something to make it good.” Shelby shuddered. Her mother actually believed that she was making her daughter like it.
She stepped into the shower and began to thoroughly wash her body. Even though she found small solace in the fact that her mother had always made the men wear condoms–she had told Shelby that she would be of no use to her if she was diseased or pregnant–she never felt like she could get clean enough.
She was done showering and put on the negligee that had been lying on the bedside table. How long would she have to wait for the next man? How many would there be today? She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. She had run out of tears weeks ago. She wasn’t sure what day it was, but she was pretty certain that it had been about a month since the nightmare had begun. Shelby sat down at the small vanity table her mother had provided for her. She began to brush her hair and wondered–as she had so many times in the past month–why her mother had had her. She clearly didn’t love her. It’s not like she ever remembered having a father around. So why bring a child into the world if you hated her so much?
The bedroom door opened. It was her mother.
“Morning. Have a seat on the bed. We need to talk.” Her mother did not look happy.
“Did I do something wrong?” Shelby wondered.
“Don’t look at me like you don’t know. There have been complaints, young lady. Ones we have discussed many times before. I am getting quite tired of repeating myself.” The tone of her voice was unmistakable. She was furious.
“What are you talking about?” She was going to be hit again. She could almost feel the blow already.
“As much as these men want you, they need to know that you are enjoying it. You cannot continue to lie there not moving, not even giving them any indication that you are having a good time. I realize that you have not experienced your first orgasm, but once you relax, you will, and then you will come to crave it.”
Shelby was furious. Was she not doing enough? Was it not enough that her body was being used by countless men so her mother could make a quick buck? Her rage boiled over into her words. “I am being abused every day and you want me to enjoy it? Go to hell!”
And the blow came. It was quick and fierce as it stung the side of her face. “Perhaps I should stop giving you this?” She brought the needle out from her pocket.
Shelby’s eyes widened. “No, Mom, please, I’m sorry. I need it, don’t take it away.” She hated to admit it, but she did need it. Not just for the euphoric feeling that overcame her moments after its injection but mostly because she was able to leave her body. When she was under the influence of the drug, she was almost able to imagine she was somewhere else. She could almost forget that there was a man taking what wasn’t his.
Her mother laughed. “Yes, you would need it. You’re nothing but a junkie whore. Fine, I will give it to you, but you are going to have to work for it today. I have two men out there.” She waited to gauge Shelby’s reaction.
Noting the disgusted flicker in Shelby’s eyes, she continued. “They are lovers who have never had a woman. They have, however, shared the same fantasy to take one at the same time.”
Shelby shot up from the bed. There was only one way she could think of that would make that possible, and she wanted no part of it. “No, enough. I have repeatedly been used, I have been taken by countless men, and I have hurt because of it. But not there! I won’t let them hurt me there.” She was crying now. Suddenly, after weeks of no tears, they all came flooding back.
Her mother shrugged. “Be difficult if you must, but I was going to give you this so you could enjoy it. Now we’ll have to get you ready the old-fashioned way.”
Shelby’s eyes shot back to her mother. “No!” She knew what that meant. Every time they had accused her of being difficult, they had told her they would show her the right way, the old-fashioned way. It was always immediately followed up by her boyfriend, the monster, coming in and doing horrible things to her.
As her mother opened the door, that monster came into the room and threw her to the bed. Before she even had a chance to struggle, she could feel her negligee being torn from her body and something cool and wet being spread along the tiny opening at her bottom.
“No, please! Please don’t do this! I’ll do anything, just please don’t touch me there, please. No, stop! Mom, help.”
Shelby jolted up from bed. She was shaking and was covered in her own sweat. She could see light coming in from behind the curtains and looked at her bedside clock. It was barely after seven o’clock. With shaky legs, she started to walk toward her bathroom. She had to wash herself. Aside from the sweat, she had to attempt to wash off the memo
ries of what she had just dreamt.
She turned on the shower and looked at herself in the mirror. Had it been true? Was she remembering horrible things that actually happened to her, or was it all just a dream? Tears started to stream down her face as she stepped into the shower. There was no sobbing, no gut-wrenching cries, just silent tears that trailed down to her neck. As she stood there in the steaming water, she said one word. “Rex.”
Chapter Eight
Rex walked into the club, casually nodding his head at Johnny at the front desk. Rounding the corner to the offices, Rex entered Jack’s office without even knocking. Jack, who was listening to someone on the phone, held up his finger indicating Rex to wait. Taking his customary position in Jack’s office, Rex plopped down in the chair opposite of Jack and proceeded to rest his feet on Jack’s desk. It was an old habit. One he knew irritated Jack, which is exactly why he always did it.
Hanging up the phone, Jack acknowledged Rex’s feet and shook his head from side to side. “So you finally managed to drag your ass home, huh?”
Rex figured it would be coming. He had acted like a child and ran. He knew he deserved the crap he was going to get from his old Navy buddy. “Yeah, I got in yesterday. I would have called you, but I had someone else who I needed to see first.”
“Shelby?” Jack questioned.
Acknowledging Jack’s question, Rex nodded his head. “She was the first stop I made after I landed last night.” Rex shifted in his chair. He hadn’t slept very well last night. Between the feelings he has having for Shelby and Rina showing up at his place, he couldn’t seem to relax. Not to mention how ticked off he was that one of the doormen had let her into his place. He had every intention of dealing with that little twerp personally.
“And? What happened? I got an earful last night from Tamara about how insensitive you were being. Although I have to admit man, she’s got a point.”
Morgan, Nicole - Sweet Salvation [Sweet Awakenings 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 9
