His words, which should have seemed crude, instead sounded beautiful. Wanting to please him. Wanting to show him how much she loved him, she dipped her head back down and took all of him. Possessing him with her mouth. Loving him with her body and soul. She sucked, tasted, and teased him with her tongue.
“Oh, honey. I love you. I’m gonna come, baby. Where do you want me to–”
Before he could finish the question, Shelby reached her hand around and began stroking him in unison with every deep, long suck.
“Oh, hell! Babe, seriously, if you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”
Shelby loved his words. Loved knowing that she was making him feel so good. Just as he did to her. Continuing to give her all to him, she felt a sense of sexual satisfaction when she felt Rex’s hands tense on the back of her head.
“Oh, baby. Yes!” Rex shouted as his release flooded Shelby’s mouth.
It had come in such a rush she hadn’t been prepared for the taste or amount that he expelled. She kept swallowing every bit of him, breathing through her nose as his cock twitched with the final few spurts.
Finally, Shelby lifted her head, sat up, and looked at Rex. His smile and the love she saw in his eyes filled her heart.
“I love you, Shelby. You are what I was meant for.” He leaned over and kissed her.
“I love you, Rex.”
Rex started the car as Shelby put her seat belt on. He drove back onto the road, reached over, and took her hand in his.
“Let’s go home, honey. It’s my turn to show you just how much I love to do things to you.” He winked at her.
Chapter Thirteen
Shelby sat in the waiting room before her appointment. She had gotten there a bit early. But she seemed to be living on adrenaline today. Despite the fact that Rex hadn’t let her get that much sleep last night, she felt fantastic. When she first woke up that morning, it was almost as unreal as it had been the first time she woke up in Rex’s arms. It had only been a couple of days, and it was so amazing. She was filled with elation.
“Shelby?” Samantha stood in the doorway and eyed her curiously. “You look like you’re lost in thought.”
“Oh, sorry.” She got up and headed back toward the office. Taking a seat, she sat in the sofa directly across from Samantha’s chair.
Sitting down, Samantha smiled at Shelby. “Well, you certainly look chipper today. Any particular reason?”
“Actually, yes. I have some news. I–well, that is, we–I mean, Rex and I are getting married,” she finally blurted out.
Samantha stopped writing in her notebook and looked up at Shelby. “What did you just say?”
“I know it seems sudden. But it really isn’t. I have loved him all along, and I just hadn’t realized it.”
Taking a deep breath, Samantha spoke calmly to Shelby. “Shelby, you are trying to heal from a brutal rape. Actually, several of them, dating back to your teenage years. I hardly think it is wise to jump into a relationship with a man, especially a man like Mr. Metcalf. It is no secret that he is rather driven when it comes to intimate matters. I would hate to have you rushed into a situation that you not only may not be ready for, but that could hinder your recovery.”
Shelby smiled at Samantha. She had been so good to Shelby over the past months. She was a great listener and always gave sound advice. But in this instance, she knew she was wrong. There was no way Shelby could back away from her relationship with Rex now. They were just getting started. She already felt like they had wasted so much time. There was no reason to put off the inevitable.
“Samantha, I understand your concern. And I appreciate it, but I can assure you I have thought about this. Rex is good for me. He makes me stronger than I think I’ve ever been. I even stopped having the horrible dreams once he came back into town. He is the only help I need.”
Samantha winced and Shelby noticed she seemed almost hurt that she no longer needed her help anymore.
“What horrible dreams?” Samantha asked.
“Oh, gosh, see, that’s my point. Normally, if I was scared about something, it would be the first thing I was talking to you about. But now that I have Rex, I hadn’t even thought about it.”
“Shelby, maybe you should explain these dreams to me,” Samantha asked her again in her calm, reassuring voice.
“Right, okay. Well, it all started a little less than a week ago. I started having dreams. Actually, I only had two of them. Two nights in a row. But I think I’ve started to remember what happened to me that summer before I started college.”
Samantha’s expression did nothing to hide her surprise to what Shelby had just told her. “Go on.”
“Well, it seems that my mother was a horrible excuse for a human being, not to mention a parent. Look, some of the memories are pretty bad. I don’t really want to rehash everything I remembered. The bottom line is that I think my mother prostituted me and kept me pumped up on drugs. No, don’t, Samantha. I’m happy, really happy for the first time in a long time. Please don’t make me go over the details. I know I sound rather cavalier about it. But, well, damn it. I’m happy. I see no reason to do anything to interfere with that.”
Samantha stared at her for a moment before she closed her notebook and set it, along with her pen, on the table beside her. “Shelby, you have just given every reason in the world why you are not ready for this relationship.”
“What? What are you talking about? I’m happy. Why is that so bad? What you’re saying makes no sense.” Shelby all but shouted at her.
Samantha’s brows raised in surprise. Shelby had never taken that tone with her before. “Shelby, hear me out. You are admitting to me that you don’t want to, as you put it, ‘rehash’ the memories. That is not healthy. I’m not saying you have to talk to me about it now, or ever. That’s up to you whom you choose to open up to about it. However, it has to be ‘rehashed’ because if it doesn’t, your happy life that you are planning will come crashing down around you.”
Shelby raised her chin in defiance. “I disagree. I actually came here with every intention of telling you that I didn’t intend to continue my sessions with you.”
Samantha’s head snapped back to Shelby’s. “Shelby, as your therapist and as a woman, I must tell you that I think that is a very bad idea. No matter how well you feel now, you are not completely whole. You need to give yourself time. Perhaps we should revisit this topic in a few days. Give yourself some time to truly think about things.”
“I don’t have to think –” Shelby was quickly cut off.
“Yes, Shelby, you do. If you still feel as strongly about it next time we meet, I will discuss it with you. What did Rex say when you told him about the dreams?” she asked her.
Shelby blushed at her embarrassment. She just sat here insisting that she was better and could deal with anything, and she just realized that she hadn’t even opened up to Rex about what she had remembered. “Actually, I ah–well, I–”
“You haven’t told him about the dreams, have you?” Samantha questioned.
Shelby shook her head.
“I suggest that you do that.” Turning to her appointment book, Samantha flipped a couple of pages before saying, “Why don’t we meet this Friday, say six o’clock? I know it’s late in the day. But it’s the only time I can fit you in on such short notice.”
Shelby nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I’m just finally happy, and I don’t want it ruined.”
“I understand. Don’t you worry about it. Just go home and talk to Rex. You need to be able to talk to him about what happened. If you intend to spend your life with him, there can be no secrets.”
Shelby drove home later that day in a haze of uncertainty. How could she have gone from walking on clouds to this level of despair? She knew she shouldn’t be, but she was worried about telling Rex. It was one thing that he knew about Brent and about her mother’s boyfriends, but when he found out she had been used as a whore, what then?
Would h
e still love her, still want her? She had no choice. Samantha was right. She had to tell Rex everything. At least everything that she remembered. She had been living under a false illusion of happiness. If she and Rex stood any chance of happiness, she had to be completely honest with him.
He stood in the courtyard waiting for her to return home. His nerves were shot. Anger had been radiating off of him all day, ever since he had heard Shelby tell Samantha that she was marrying Rex. He didn’t understand it. How could she even think for one second that she could be happy with that son of a bitch?
He always knew there was a reason he hadn’t liked him. But he only tolerated him because he helped take care of Shelby. Now, he knew that it had all been an act. He had just been using his kindness as a way to get closer to her. He had manipulated her until he got the upper hand. Now he was taking advantage of her.
He shuddered. It made him sick to think of how calculating the SOB had been. Everything, every action and every word had all been a ploy to get her. He was probably even trying to pressure her into sleeping with him.
Well, he couldn’t allow that to happen. He thought he would be able to take her without any unnecessary casualties, but unfortunately, he was going to have to kill him now.
He shook his head. It was a shame. As much as he loved to use his knife, it was still blood that would be spilled. He shrugged off the uneasiness. It didn’t really matter. Being with Shelby was worth it. They would be together soon, and then Rex Metcalf would just be a bad memory.
Shelby walked into her condo. She knew Rex was here. His red Corvette was parked in the parking lot. The entire drive home she had been dreading this moment. She always knew that Rex was important to her, but now that they had agreed to be married, the idea of losing him was more than she could even begin to fathom. She closed the door and set her purse down on the entryway table.
“Hey, I’m in the kitchen, babe,” Rex yelled to her.
She put on her bravest face as she walked around the corner to face him. She was stopped in her tracks by what she saw. Rex was lighting candles on the table. He had dimmed the lights and had the table set with wineglasses already full. “Oh, Rex, this is a surprise.”
“I’m glad because surprise is exactly–what’s wrong?” he asked her, concerned.
“What? Nothing is wrong. I’m fine. I’m just a little tired. You didn’t exactly let me sleep very much last night.” She gave the smile her best effort.
“Uh-huh. Shelby, sit down.” It was a demand, not a request.
“Rex, I’m fine,” she told him after she was sitting.
Rex walked over to the oven and removed the lasagna. He turned off the heat and walked to the chair opposite Shelby. Pulling it closer to her, he sat directly in front of her. “Do you love me? I mean really love me?” he asked her, with no hint of humor in his voice.
“What? Of course I love you! How could you even ask that?” She was shocked that he could even question that.
“Well, then if that’s true, I suggest you tell me what’s wrong. No, don’t even think about trying to hide anything from me. I know you better than that. So what’s wrong?” Another demand.
She looked at him, wondering if the love she saw in his eyes would disappear after she told him that she was nothing more than a whore. She placed her face to her hands and began to sob.
Rex waited, wondering what was bothering her. But when the tears started, his curiosity turned to anger. She wasn’t just crying. These were gut-wrenching sobs. She could barely breathe. He had seen her body bruised and bloody and beaten beyond recognition, but whenever he saw her cry, it caused a pain deep inside him that he couldn’t explain. He had seen her a few times like this in the past. It always happened after she remembered more of her rape. He also knew that when she was dealing with that kind of pain, touching her was not always the best idea. But God, how he wanted to hold her and make it all go away. He slowly reached his hand out to her, gently touching the side of her face. She jumped.
“Damn, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. What’s wrong? What happened?” His voice was calm and soothing.
She looked at him, not able to hide the distress on her face. “Rex, do you remember the other night when you made me make a promise to you?”
What? Was she regretting that they made love? Several times. “Yeah, honey, I remember.” He swallowed the lump in his throat, afraid to ask the question. “Is that what this is about? Did we go too fast? Did I rush you?”
Her head dropped down as she shook her head. “No, I don’t regret that. I just–I–oh, God. Why is this happening? I’m finally so happy. I am happy, Rex. Please know that you have made me so happy. But I need you to promise me something now. Will you do that for me?”
She was really starting to scare him. Her face was so pale, and she looked so scared. “Shelby, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I will promise you anything. Just name it.”
She looked back up at him. She stared into his eyes for what seemed like an eternity before placing her shaking hands to his face. “Rex, I’m going to tell you something. Something that may change the way that you–that you see me. I need you to promise me that you’ll give yourself time to think about what I tell you. If you still love me, if you still want to be with me, then you can put this ring back on my finger,” she said as she pulled the ring slowly off and placed it on the table.
Rex instinctively grabbed her hand, trying to stop her from doing what tore his heart apart. But it was no use. She had already taken it off and set it down. “What are you doing?” he shouted at her.
Her tears came out stronger. “Rex, please don’t make this harder for me. Just promise me that you won’t be with me out of guilt or obligation. I couldn’t stand it if you were with me for any reason other than love.”
Rex tried to curb the temper he felt flaring inside him right now. The twist he felt on his heart when Shelby took that ring off was almost more than he could handle. “Fine. I’ll listen to you because I love you. But then I’m putting that ring back on your finger, and it’s never going to come off again!”
“Promise me, Rex! You made me promise you. Now you promise me!” She was near hysterics as she bit out the words.
“Okay, honey, I promise.” He tried to sound calmer, but his insides were shredding into a million pieces.
Shelby looked up to the ceiling for a moment, wondering where to begin. Could she handle it if she lost him? There was no question. She knew a part of her would die without him. She took a steadying breath before she brought her eyes to meet his questioning stare.
“I’m just going to say it all. I’m going to try and make it fast and hope that I can get through it. Please let me say my piece before you interrupt. If you do, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish,” she told him in shaky breaths.
Rex nodded and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Sure, honey. I’ll listen. I won’t interrupt you.”
She gave herself another moment and dove in headfirst. “The night you kissed me, I had a dream. It wasn’t like the others. It was something new and different. It was, to the best of my knowledge, a memory of the missing weeks before I entered college.” She took a breath and then continued.
“You knew that I confronted my mother about the rapes but that was all I remembered. But that night in the dream, I–well, I wasn’t even sure if it was a memory or a dream at first, but then I had another one the next night. And they were so horrible, and too many things started to make sense. I can see now why I had blocked it out from my memory, and I am now sure that they are memories and not dreams. I’m not even sure why they are coming back now, but they are. There was never any way to tell if they would come back or what would cause it, but they did, and now, I’m just so afraid that–no, my fears aren’t what matter right now. I need to be honest with you.”
Shelby gently pulled out of his grasp and reached for her wineglass. She took a healthy swig and set the glass down. Her hands shook fiercely. It was a w
onder that she hadn’t spilled the entire glass.
“Rex, for several weeks, my mother and her boyfriend–they used me in ways that–Oh, God,” Shelby said as she put her palms against her eyes. “You can do this, Shelby. You owe this to Rex.” She was talking out loud, but to herself.
Rex had stayed silent the whole time. But he could feel the tension rising in his body. He didn’t know what she was about to tell him. But he was certain that whatever it was, she had been hurt, possibly worse than they had originally thought. The thought of her being hurt any more than he already knew of made him want to kill anyone who had ever caused her even a moment of pain. But he controlled his anger, and he waited patiently for Shelby to continue.
She removed her hands from her face but did not look at him. “They sold me, Rex. For weeks they kept me hopped up on some type of drug that they injected into me until I became dependent on it, and they sold me to anyone who would pay.” The last words came out in a tormented whisper. She slowly brought her gaze up to meet his. He was saying nothing, but she could see the unmistakable anger swimming in his eyes.
She knew she had to continue, and she knew she had to give him the chance to leave if he wanted. She reached for his hands and took them in hers. “I wanted to forget about the dreams. I wanted to just be happy. But today in my session, Samantha made me realize how unfair and selfish that was. Rex, I know this isn’t what you signed up for. When you asked me to marry you, I hadn’t told you everything. Obviously, I’m not the same woman whom you thought that I was. If you need –”
“Shut your damn mouth, Shelby!” He screamed the words at her.
She was shocked. Rex had never yelled at her like that before, ever. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t remembered him ever sounding quite so enraged. She wasn’t sure she liked being on the receiving end of that kind of anger. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come.
“How dare you? Is that what you think of me?” He looked at her as she started to cry. “Stop it. Save your tears. I know I’ll hate myself later for causing them, but right now you’re going to listen to me. And listen well because you’ve made me damn mad!” He got up from the chair and paced the kitchen several times before turning back to face her.
Morgan, Nicole - Sweet Salvation [Sweet Awakenings 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 17
