by Helen Lacey
“I do trust Patrick,” she said softly. “He’s a good man, despite his poor business sense. Something which should please you considering he’s married to your sister. And I trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Nate reached out, took Joley’s hand and slowly unwound her arms from their tight hold around her waist. “You can trust that I will never intentionally do anything to hurt you.”
Something seductive rose between them, like a soft wind, gaining heat as it swirled around the room. He urged her a little closer and Joley fought the impulse to settle in his arms. It would be easy to cave in, easy to surrender to the way every part of her body had become so quickly attuned to him.
Only she knew she had to stick to her convictions. Despite her desire, Joley wouldn’t lose herself. She simply couldn’t afford to. “Nate, I can’t do this. Sex can’t be part of—”
“This isn’t about sex,” he assured her as he pulled her close.
“It’s not?”
“No,” he said and grasped her chin. “It’s a kiss. Just a kiss.”
Just a kiss…
Was there such a thing with Nate? When his lips touched hers Joley’s eyelids fluttered and closed. As the room spun and her body came alive, she knew, without a doubt, that she was way out of her league. With acting in control, with pretty much everything to do with the man whose arms she suddenly craved.
His mouth was warm and seductive. She let herself get drawn into the kiss and for those few moments nothing else existed. When Nate ended the kiss and pulled back he put some space between them.
“See,” he said and smiled fractionally. “Just a kiss.”
Joley wasn’t convinced and she stepped further away from him. “I have to finish unpacking,” she said, and fled from the kitchen as quickly as she could.
Back in her lavender room, she unpacked and put away her things. The big bed was soft and she lay down for a while, but her head was spinning too fast for sleep. She ignored two calls from Ella on her phone and considered going out for a walk. Daytime walks were not off limits. And she wouldn’t go far. She put on fresh socks and dragged her boots from the robe.
She headed outside via the sliding door in her bedroom that led to the patio and pool area. Joley wandered through the safety gate and circumnavigated the house. Mike was by the round yard, watching Justin riding a young colt.
“Afternoon, Miss,” he said when she approached.
She plonked a toe on the railing and peered into the yard. “Call me Joley. Your nephew looks good in the saddle.”
“Kid’s learnin’,” he said. “And the colt too. This one needed a firmer hand than most, but Nate got him to come around.”
No big surprise there, she thought. “Where is Nate?”
“Out ridin’ Shadow.” He eyes wrinkled in the corners as he squinted against the afternoon sun. “Do ya’ want me to saddle a horse up for ya’? Boss said you could ride. Got your own horse comin’ soon too, I heard?”
“Yes, Red,” she replied. “And no thank you, maybe I’ll ride tomorrow.”
“It’s all good. Makes no matter to me,” Mike said and turned his attention back to his nephew.
Joley wandered away and suspected the cowboy didn’t even notice. She walked into the stables. The building was huge and housed half a dozen horses. Several heads popped over the stalls as she passed and she patted them in turn. There was an office, tack room and another room at the rear of the building. The door was closed and she tried to peer through the window.
Curiosity getting the better of her, Joley rattled the doorknob.
“You got a hankering to get into my bedroom, miss?”
She gasped, dropped her hand and turned quickly. An old man stood about ten feet away. Leaning heavily on a pair of walking sticks, he had a craggy, well-worn face and an inquisitive lopsided grin. “Oh, sorry.”
“You only gotta’ ask and I’ll let you in myself.”
He was laughing at her behind the whiskery cheeks. “Like I said, I’m sorry. Nate mentioned someone lived here and I—”
“Wanted to see if that someone was as handsome as everyone says, right?”
Joley laughed. Handsome this man wasn’t. “Oh, you’re a comedian.”
He bowed unsteadily. “And you’re the boss’s new girl, right?”
New girl? Like the new one in a line of many? She didn’t like that idea at all. “We’re friends,” she said with an indignant shift of her chin.
“I’m Sticks,” he said with a grin. “At your service. I hear you’re a pilot?”
“That’s right.”
He nodded. “Nice to meet you. Well, I’ll be leavin’ you alone now, got work to do. Boss is on his way back, so you’ll be wantin’ to wait I’m guessing.” He tipped his hat, hobbled off towards the stable doors, then disappeared into the late afternoon sun.
Joley stayed to pet a couple of the horses. The stables were roomy and energy efficient and each one had a small yard attached to the outside. A Tobiano filly begged for attention and she grabbed a handful of hay from a net by the door. While the horse ate, Joley headed for the tack room, where she lingered over the assortment of bridles, saddles and breaking in equipment. She picked up an elaborately engraved breastplate attached to a martingale and read several sets of initials in the shiny brass, each one ending with G.
“I got to have my name put on that when I broke in my first horse.”
Joley spun around. Nate stood in the doorway, a swinging fender saddle in the crook of one arm and bridle in the other.
“I was twelve,” he said as he came into the room and placed the saddle on a rack. “I came off that damned pony more times than I could remember. She had a lot of will.”
Joley fingered the plate. “You father’s name is here too? And your grandfather?”
“Yes. Three generations so far.”
Tradition and family. A legacy passed down from father to son. Clearly a rite of passage into manhood. “And one day you’ll have a son of your own and his initials will be beside yours, is that the plan?”
“Or daughter. Either would be good.”
“You really do want children?”
He nodded. “Some day, yes. No point in having all this if I don’t have anyone to pass it on to, is there?”
“I suppose not.”
The small room created a warm intimacy. As did the smell of worn leather. Joley knew he felt it too. Although talking about children made her suddenly ache inside, something else kindled the heat which had become a permanent fixture between them.
“Nate, I—”
“Nothing will happen until you’re ready,” he said quietly, cutting off her feeble protest as though he knew exactly what she was thinking. “You set the pace.”
“But in the kitchen…”
“I kissed you. You kissed me back. It’s a normal part of courtship, don’t you think? It might be an old fashioned way of putting it, but it doesn’t change what it is.”
Courtship? It did sound old fashioned.
But I’m not here for that. I’m not. I’m here because I want my business back. I’ll be gone in a month. I will. Mind blowing kisses, or not…I will get what I came for and leave.
But he looked serious.
“Whatever has been done to you in the past, I’m not a threat to you,” he said and grabbed her hand. Her fingers burned where they touched. He was a threat, only not in the way he suggested. “This can work, I’m sure of it. But only if we both want the same thing.”
She did want.
Wanting had been her reason for coming to Gwendonna. She wanted her family business back where it belonged. Joley curled her fingers around his. But she didn’t say that. “I won’t rush into anything.”
“A month,” he reminded her. “And I’ll respect whatever decision you make.”
It sounded so perfunctory, so logical. But she knew she could never cope with a relationship drenched with such lack of feeling. No love. Just companionship and desire. T
wo people with common goals. Yes, logic all the way. The kind of relationship that seemed to have no risks…and yet, Joley sensed it was risk all the way with Nate.
“You really loved you wife?”
He dropped her hand. “What?”
“Your ex-wife,” she said again. “You loved her, she left you and you don’t want to love any woman ever again…does that just about cover it?”
He didn’t move. “Just about.”
“Although, when you have kids you’ll love them and do anything for them. But their mother will always be that little bit apart from you, correct?”
“What’s that…Psychology 101?”
“Merely observation,” she replied and crossed her arms. “And curiosity about you.”
He pushed back against a drum. “What would you like to know?”
Joley took a breath. “Why she left.”
“I’ve already told you. She couldn’t take the isolation.”
Joley wasn’t convinced. “It’s not exactly grand central station here, but it’s not a desert island either. Was she that addicted to city life?”
“Yes.”
She sounded like a flake. “And love couldn’t keep her here?”
“Nothing kept her here.”
There was a sting in his voice and Joley’s insides crunched. “How long had you been together?” she asked.
“A little over a year,” he replied quietly and kept talking. “We met in the city. I was there on business and a mutual friend introduced us. In the beginning, I commuted every couple of weeks to see her and Allyson came out to Gwendonna occasionally. We got married, she stayed three months and then she left.”
It sounded like a neat, tidily tied up little story. But Joley would bet her boots that there was more to it. “And since then?”
His brows came up. “What do you want me to tell you? Have I lived like a monk these past few years? No. Have I invited anyone to stay here with me? No. Only you.”
Why me? Came immediately to mind. But Joley knew. He wanted a wife, a companion and a mother for his children. The fact there was heat between them was a bonus. Right now, it felt like too much heat. “But you know I’m only here because…”
“You want your business back? Yes, so you keep saying.”
To the point. She liked that about him. She liked too many things about him. “I mean it. I’ll be leaving once the month is over.”
“That’s what you said, yes.”
“With my business,” she reminded him.
“Do you doubt my word?” he asked
Not one bit. Physical attraction aside, there was something about him, a kind of deep rooted integrity which amplified itself every time he came within two feet of her. Wanting to get her business back had been the easy part in her decision to come to Gwendonna. But liking Nate? Maybe more than that…it would get her into a whole load of trouble she wasn’t sure she would be able to get out of. Or over.
He didn’t want feelings. He wanted companionship, children and sex.
Suddenly, feeling like the biggest fraud of all time, Joley knew that for her, it would never be enough.
“Joley?”
“I made a mistake,” she said on a rush of breath.
“A mistake?”
She nodded. “Yes. I can’t…I just can’t…”
Then she pushed past him without another word.
Chapter Eight
Nate dropped the bridle and stared after her. A mistake? What did that mean? And she couldn’t what? Couldn’t stay? Is that what she meant? Nate’s insides burned. Allyson had lasted three months. Joley McBride was out within three hours. Hell, he shouldn’t have kissed her, shouldn’t have pushed it. He should have known she’d bail.
“You got time to check out Comet?”
Nate swiveled. Seventy-year old Warren ‘Sticks’ Peck stood in the doorway, hovering on the walking sticks that supported his prosthetic limbs. He had been on Gwendonna since before Nate was born. Sticks and his dad had been friends. After the accident, which had taken both his legs, Sticks had come to Gwendonna and never left.
He touched his rough chin and looked at Nate. “Or have you got other things to worry about?”
So the old man had heard them. Not surprising since he bunked out in the self-contained room next to the office. “Comet’s not due to foal until the end of the week. I looked her over this morning.”
Sticks grinned. “You know, nothin’ presses more on man’s mind than woman trouble.”
Nate wasn’t about to argue with who’d taught him everything he knew about horses. “It’ll be fine.”
Sticks tutted. “You sure you know what you’re in for?”
Nope. But he wasn’t about to admit he was in way deep.
“She’s got spirit, that one,” Sticks said. “And she’s pretty as all out. But be careful what you wish for,” the old man said as he turned. “You might just get it. I gotta’ see to the feedin’. Catch you later.”
Nate stayed in the tack room long after Sticks had left. He picked up the brass plate Joley had been looking over. The day his name was engraved below his father’s had been one of the proudest of his life. Long ago now, but the memory stayed with him. He’d imagined his own children countless times. He’d imagined teaching them to ride, to fix a fence, to learn to love the land as he did. Right now, it seemed like a pipedream. Joley had made her feelings clear. He’d forced her hand and manipulated her into coming to Gwendonna…she wanted her business back. That’s all she wanted. He had four weeks to make her realize they’d be good together. Then she’d be gone. He was a fool for thinking it would work out as he wanted.
He shook himself off and gave Sticks a hand with the feeding for a while before he headed back to the house, hit the shower and put on fresh clothes.
When Nate made his way back into the main part of the house he half expected to find Joley packed and waiting for a ride back to her Jabiru. Instead, she was in the front living room curled up in one of the big damask chairs.
Nate remained in the doorway and rested against the architrave. “Hey.”
She looked up and smiled. It was a fair start. “Hi,” she said and closed the magazine in her hands. “It’s getting dark outside. Is the shop shut up for the night?”
“All done. Horses and dogs fed and bedded down. Mike and Rachel have headed back to their house and Sticks lives in the rooms off the stables.”
“I met him,” she said quietly. “An interesting man.”
Nate pushed himself off the jamb and smiled. “He said you had a lot of spirit.” He came into the room. “That’s quite the compliment.”
“Spirit? Another word for attitude, right?”
Nate grinned. “Maybe. But he’s not easily fooled.”
“Neither are you, I’ll bet.” She dropped the magazine on the side table. “Nate, about before—I panicked. The kiss threw me.”
“So you’d rather I didn’t kiss you…is that what you’re saying?”
She drew in a heavy breath. “It’s just that I’m hopeless at this stuff—at relationships. Every one I’ve had has either ended badly or faded into nothing. And I don’t want to blur the lines about why I’m here. I know you think we’re compatible. In some ways, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, we’re both unattached people who’ve been let down in love in one way or another. Since we do have an attraction to each other, it would be a perfectly reasonable result for us to end up together. The thing is, I don’t want my own reasons for being here to get lost amongst all this…logic.”
“Okay.”
One brow came up. “That’s it, just okay?”
He nodded. “I can’t tell you how to think or what to feel, Joley. If you believe this can work, great. If not, I guess we’ll find out soon enough, be it today, tomorrow or in the next few weeks. I believe that being logical is the only sensible way to pursue this. I’ve told you I won’t whitewash this situation with false declarations and some foolish romantic fantasy that simply doesn’t e
xist for me.”
Her eyes grew wide. “You really don’t believe in love?”
“I don’t believe it lasts.”
She looked at him strangely. Not exactly disappointed…something else. Love hadn’t done him any favors and he wasn’t about to waste time looking for feelings which dissolved as quickly as they began. With Joley he wanted something else—commitment, trust and truth.
“Then I guess we’re different,” she said quietly. “It might not last—but I’ve always hoped that it would.”
“That sounds like false hope,” he remarked, noticing how her eyes glittered bright blue. “Dinner,” he suggested to lighten the mood. “I’ll cook. You set the table. Deal?”
She nodded and stood, uncurling her amazing legs. Nate tried not to think about how the way she moved affected him. Twenty minutes later, they were sitting down to a triple cheese and green pepper omelet and semi-burnt toast. They drank light beer and lingered around the table. She asked questions about the horses and cattle which he answered. They seemed to deliberately steer away from topics that were remotely personal.
“Does your mother visit much?”
Okay, so semi-personal was back on the agenda. “Not a lot. She never liked the isolation. Or the dust.” Or her family. Or me. He didn’t say it. Sounding like a petulant child wasn’t his thing. He wasn’t an eight-year-old boy anymore and the sting of her rejection all those years ago had lessened. Mostly. “My mother’s life is in the city.”
Joley realized something at precisely that moment. Nate had been left—twice. By his mother and his wife. His ‘no love, only logic’ mantra suddenly made perfect sense. So, he was emotionally damaged. Who wasn’t? Hadn’t she been damaged by Dale’s betrayal? Hadn’t every relationship she’d had since been barely lukewarm because she was afraid to trust her heart to someone?
“How many kids do you want?” she asked bluntly, figuring if she was being regarded as a potential baby making machine she may as well know how many she would be expected to have.
Nate lifted his beer. “I don’t have an exact number. Nature should be allowed to take its course, don’t you think?”
