by Helen Lacey
“So that means you’re not coming back?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Well, goodbye then.”
The ice in his voice broke her heart into a thousand pieces. “Goodbye Nate. Thank you for…everything. I hope you find…what you’re looking for.”
“That’s not likely, is it?”
As she turned to leave, he said her name and she swiveled back. “What is it?”
“You’ll tell me,” he said quietly. “If you are pregnant?”
Pregnant? “I’m not—”
“If you are,” he said with emphasis. “We neglected birth control that first time,” he reminded her. “If you are I would appreciate you letting me know.”
Every part of her body hurt, even her skin. “Of course,” she said quietly, hating him for doubting her. “Whatever. Goodbye.”
She turned, swallowed the ache in her throat, and left.
A week later Joley discovered she wasn’t pregnant. And she cried for three whole hours. In fact, she’d taken to crying all the time since she’d made that final flight from Gwendonna. Now that Red was back in the city and she’d returned to the flight school, Joley knew her weeks, her life, with Nate was well and truly over.
Not being pregnant only amplified the loneliness she felt every day.
Patrick had been transferred to a hospital in the city for surgery and had come through the procedure. He had another week in hospital due to a minor infection. His recovery included rehabilitation once the cast came off and it would be many months before he returned to work. Joley worked in the office and hired a contract pilot for the tuition and scheduled herself for some of the scenic flights, but her heart wasn’t in it. Nothing gave her pleasure. Even her time with Red was tainted with memories of riding out with Nate. She missed him. She missed Gwendonna. She missed the life she might have had.
And as one week stretched into two Joley knew it was time to come clean with her father. He needed to know that Patrick had sold his share of the business and that she had failed to get it back.
There had been no word from Nate.
Patrick hadn’t heard from him either. She went to visit her friend and told him she intended letting her father know everything and that he needed to be prepared for the fall-out.
“So I guess it’s about time I took my medicine,” he said.
Joley forced a smile. “Yes.”
They were at his house and Patrick was lying on the sofa, broken leg raised up on a bed of cushions. “So, what happens then? You planning on heading back out west?”
Joley glanced away. “No plans for that.”
“Too bad,” Patrick said. “I kinda thought the place suited you.”
“You know why I was there,” she said cryptically. “Besides, I’m a city girl first and foremost.”
Patrick made a face. “You’re not fooling me. You fit right in there. With Garrigan.”
Joley snapped her gaze back in his direction. “Since when have you been the president of Nate’s fan club?” It hurt simply saying his name.
“Since he pulled me from the wreck and pretty much saved my life,” he said, and laughed. Then, more soberly. “Or it might have been when I worked out that you’re in love with him.”
Joley stared at her friend, pole-axed. “What did you say?”
He grinned. “You heard.”
Denying it was futile. Patrick knew her too well. She did love Nate, but he didn’t believe in love. He didn’t want love. “It’s complicated.”
Patrick shrugged. “So, uncomplicate it. We’ll tell your dad, Joley. I can get back to work in the next couple of weeks and try to beg your dad’s forgiveness for being an incompetent jerk, and you can take a well-deserved break. The new pilot has a handle on things, so you’re off the hook.”
“You mean I’m not needed?”
“I mean now is your chance to fly, Joley…to really fly for the first time. Go and get the life you want.”
The life she wanted? That life was with Nate. But they were nothing. They weren’t important. She’d heard the words herself. He didn’t care that her heart was broken.
Nate knew his mood had steadily gotten worse since Joley had left. He missed her so much that he hurt all over. Everything reminded him of her. The scent of her, that unique mix of jasmine and patchouli seemed to linger in each room in the house, especially his bedroom.
Red was gone, her room was cleared out. It was as though she’d never been in his home. But the constant ache behind his ribs reminded him each morning, when Nate opened his eyes and found his bed empty.
Snapping the heads off his employees wasn’t helping. Rachel tutted daily, Sticks called him a blind fool for letting her go; Mike shook his head each time Nate lost his cool. Even in her absence, his life still revolved around Joley.
She’d left her hat on a peg in the mudroom and every time he walked past it Nate held his hand to his chest, easing the ache behind his ribcage. He’d given her three weeks and he’d had enough of feeling like crap. It was time to take back what was his.
At least he had to find out.
He wanted Joley.
He needed Joley.
He loved Joley.
I love her.
It had been a slow realization. When it had finally hit, he’d known what a damned fool he’d been. And what he had to do.
Nate drove to the city the following morning and headed directly for the flight school. He’d left Gwendonna at eight and by the time he’d stopped for gas and food it was close to four o’clock when he pulled into the parking bay. The place looked deserted. Her vehicle was outside and he got out and locked the truck.
The door to the hanger was closed but unlocked and Nate walked through the door. The office lights were still on and he could see her through the glass. Even at a distance, he noticed everything; her hair tumbling down her back, her incredible curves that affected him in ways no other woman ever had. She was alone, moving around the room, papers in hand, some which she filed away in a cabinet by the wall. He watched her as she worked and experienced such a strong surge of feeling he could barely breathe. Finally, Nate pushed his feet into action and strode to the door of the office. It was open and he stood in the doorway. She stopped working immediately and her gaze snapped towards him.
She said his name on a whisper and then drew in a breath before she spoke again. “What are you doing here?”
Nate stepped into the room and tossed the hat he carried onto one of the desks. “You left this behind.”
She looked at the hat. “You came all this way to return my hat?”
“Sure.”
She didn’t look convinced and placed some papers on the desk in front of her. “Thank you.”
Nate took another step. She looked so beautiful, and wondered…no, hoped, that maybe her lovely glow was because she was carrying a child. His child. He had to find out. “How are you?”
Her mouth thinned. “I’m fine.”
“Are you pregnant?”
She glared at him for a long moment. When she shook her head Nate’s disappointment soared. “Is that why you’re really here, to find out if I’m having a baby? If so, you’ve wasted a trip.” She flicked her hair back. “I’m not pregnant. There was no need to check up on me. If I had been I would have told you. So, I’m sorry this particular brood mare failed to get impregnated. You might have better luck with the next woman you trial for a month.”
Nate rocked back on his heels. She was mad. Good. Anger meant feelings. And maybe, just maybe, she didn’t quite hate him as much as he’d thought.
“There won’t be a next time.”
Her brows shot up. “What makes you so sure? Another wedding, another opportunity.”
“Because I’m hoping the next wedding I go to is my own.”
A mixture of shock and fury raced across her beautiful face. She grabbed a handful of files and held them against her chest, sucking in a breath. “You really are a jerk, you know that?” she
snapped and picked up her handbag. “I’m leaving. I need to lock up so will you kindly get out of my way?”
Nate stepped aside and watched as she charged past him through the open doorway. She was furious and beautiful and everything he wanted. The impulse to take hold of her as she strode away and haul her into his arms was powerful. Nate wanted to kiss her. Instead he said her name when she was about twenty feet from the door.
She stopped, turned and glared at him. “What?”
Nate moved through the door and dropped his arms to his sides. “You ran to me.”
The files she carried crashed to her feet and her voice was barely audible. “What…what did you just say?”
Nate took a few steps towards her and hoped she wouldn’t step back. She didn’t.
“The day the Cessna went down. When I saw the airplane in the sky, I knew it was you. I felt it. I watched you land and then you were out of the plane and started running. You were running as fast as you could—and all I could think was—who is she running to? I didn’t know. I hoped…but I…” Nate inhaled and looked her directly in the eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid in my whole life. And then…then all of a sudden you were in my arms.”
Joley gasped. Of all the things she had expected Nate to say to her, this wasn’t one of them. To admit he’d been afraid? What did that mean? She wanted to stay mad at him. She wanted to hate him for hurting her. She wanted to throw things at his arrogant head.
Instead, she selected her words carefully. “Whose arms were you expecting me to be in?”
He shrugged and tried to look casual. And failed miserably. Joley shook her head as realization dawned. Joley saw him swallow hard and somehow she took a couple of steps forward, crushing paper beneath her heels.
“Cohen.”
She shook her head. “I told you already that I don’t love Patrick that way. Not like I…like I…” She stopped speaking and took a deep breath. “What do you care anyway? You made it abundantly clear what you wanted from me right from the beginning.”
He stepped closer until they were barely three feet apart. “I did?”
“Yes,” she sniffed, indignant and furious. “Sex and companionship, right? No feelings, no…no…romantic nonsense.”
“Is that what I said?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He was closer now, almost in front of her. Joley dropped her bag. But not her guard. She wasn’t a complete fool. She knew what this was about. His brood mare had left and he’d come to make sure he wasn’t about to become a father. It couldn’t be anything else, right? He’d made it all so clear. He had ice-water running though his veins. They were nothing, after all.
“I know,” he said and reached for her hand. “That I said a few things I shouldn’t have.”
Joley tried to twist away. She didn’t want to touch him. Didn’t want to feel him. He had his own agenda for turning up unannounced. Whatever it was she had to keep her head. Okay, maybe he looked gorgeous in navy chinos and white shirt. So what? There were plenty of handsome men around. She’d find one who actually believed in love and wasn’t so quick to break her heart.
“If this is some half baked attempt at an apology, forget it,” she said and attempted to pull herself free.
He didn’t let her go. “This is a full baked apology,” he said and urged her closer. Joley melted a little. Just a little. He had a long way to go. “So, apologize.”
He linked their fingers. “I was a fool. A jealous fool, who—”
“Jealous?” She echoed and cut him off. “Of what?”
“Cohen,” he admitted.
“But I don’t love Patrick. I’ve never loved Patrick. I have feelings for him, sure… but he’s my friend. And he’s married to your sister.”
Nate smiled broadly. “So, you don’t love Cohen?”
Joley shook her head, pulled her hands free and stepped back to retrieve her handbag. “I don’t know what you’re finding so amusing about all this. You would have to be the most—”
“I want you to come home.”
She slowed down. Home? She didn’t breathe. “My home is here.”
He shook his head. “No it’s not. Gwendonna is your home. And I want you back with me.”
Her skin burned. He wanted her back? As what? Bed warmer? Brood mare? Furious, Joley squatted, quickly collecting the files she’d dropped and her handbag. She stormed past him and returned to the office where she banged the files onto the desk. When she turned around, he was behind her again.
“I’m going away,” she announced and crossed her arms. “Patrick will be back at work soon, the new manager is working out and I’m going to go to Hawaii, sit on a beach and read Jane Austin and forget all about…about…”
“Hawaii?” he mused when her words faded. “Sounds like a good place for a honeymoon vacation.”
She glared at him, hating that he could make fun when she was hurting so much. “Why?” she demanded. “Why do you want me back? To prove your stupid theory that a relationship can be sustained on companionship and sex? Well, guess what Nate, you can just take that idea and—”
“I’m so in love with you.”
That stopped her. Dead in her tracks. She straightened and stared at him. He’s in love with me? She didn’t believe him. “No, you’re not.”
“Oh yes, I am.”
Joley scrambled her wits together. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. “But you don’t believe in love. You told me so.”
“I think I said I didn’t believe love lasted,” he said and stepped forward. “I was wrong about that.”
He was wrong? Joley’s head spun. She must have swayed because he grabbed her and held her shoulders. She tilted her head and looked up. She still couldn’t believe it, as much as her heart wanted to. “But I heard…I heard what you said to Gabby…at the hospital. She asked you about our relationship and you said it wasn’t important, you said it was…nothing.”
Nate shook his head and rubbed a thumb along her jaw. “You heard that? Is that why you left? Why didn’t you say something?”
“Say what? I was humiliated and hurt and—”
“Joley,” he said and shook his head. “You misunderstood. Gabby asked me if we were having some kind of crisis, I lied my ass off and said we weren’t. I wasn’t ready to talk about my feelings for you to the most indiscreet person I know…not before I talked to you about it.”
“But…you don’t believe in—”
“I do,” he said and met her gaze. “But I was scared. I’d been burnt in the past and I didn’t want to risk feeling that way again. I’d convinced myself I wanted a relationship based on everything I believed was important—like trust, compatibly and common values. But I was so wrong. Love is the most important thing.” He stopped, drew in a long breath. “And I love you, Joley. I love you and I will love you for the rest of my life.”
Joley had never heard sweeter words and she placed her fingers against his mouth as happiness swelled in her heart. There was such earnest feeling in his voice she knew he was speaking from his heart.
“I ran to you,” she said unsteadily. “I ran to you because I was terrified I would never see you again. When I saw the airplane was down, I thought you were injured…or worse. I ran to you because I am not in love with Patrick.”
He grinned and she dropped her hand. “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that.”
Joley allowed herself to be drawn into his arms. He’d shown courage in admitting his feelings. Now it was her turn. “And are you working out that I’ve fallen in love with you?”
“I’m starting to realize that too.” Nate smiled and kissed her softly. “I know you’ve been hurt in the past, Joley,” he said against her lips. “I know you think that you can’t trust your heart with anyone. But you can,” he assured her. “I promise you, you can trust me…you can trust that I will never betray you. I will love you and honor you and protect you with my life.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I love you too. I
love that we’re friends. I love that you know how hard it is for me to trust someone. I love that you saved my father’s business. And I especially love that you’re here now, fighting for me, fighting for us. It’s all I wanted.”
“I know,” he said and held her close. “I think I had to lose you to realize how much you meant to me.”
Delirious, Joley accepted his promise and his kiss. She raised her heels to meet him and kissed him back with every ounce of feeling in her heart. “I’ve missed this,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He held her closer still. “I’m lost without you, my love. Do you know when I fell in love with you?” he asked, smiling. “The night of the wedding when you threw up on my shoes.”
She pulled back a little, but her heart was singing. “Nice to be reminded about one of my less than better moments.”
“Every minute I spent with you was wonderful.”
Joley raised her brows. “You know, for someone who said he didn’t believe in all that romantic nonsense that sounded almost sentimental. Are you sure that bump on the head you took hasn’t had some lingering side effects?”
He laughed, pulling her against him. “This is what I know—since the first moment I saw you I wanted you. The fact you didn’t like me at all, only made me want you more. And now—” he said and drew her into his lap when he sat on a chair. “—I love you. I want you with me for the rest of my life.”
Joley laughed delightfully. “Is that a proposal?”
Nate kissed her. “Absolutely. Marry me, Joley? Come back to Gwendonna? Marry me and have a whole bunch of kids with me. I need you. I need to wake up beside you every morning. The house is empty without you. I’m empty without you.”
She laughed again as tears filled her eyes. “Yes…but I have two conditions.”
His mouth curled. “Okay…I’m listening.”
