by Trent Reedy
“Yeah!” TJ laughed. “Our ball now! Time to kick a little ass!”
I wiped the sweat from my brow. We had a good six-on-six football game going. The other team had TJ, JoBell, Crystal Bean, Timmy Macer (who was getting a little too tough to be called Timmy anymore), Caitlyn Ericson, and Mike Keelin as quarterback.
Sweeney was still hurting too much to be able to run around and everything, so he watched from a deck chair. Cassie Macer and Samantha Monohan were acting as cheerleaders for both teams, though as my team went on defense, Cassie just sat there with her arm draped around Sweeney.
“Damn, Jackie. You got a hell of an arm, girl.” I jogged up next to Becca while the other team huddled up. “I thought you had that.” Becca didn’t answer. “You okay?”
“Fine,” Becca said. “Sorry about that. Mistimed it, I guess.”
“Enough bullshit,” Cal said. “We’ll count to five, then me and Brad are rushing. They ain’t got a line. Wright, Becca, you cover deep. Jaclyn and Aimee will stay close and cover the run.” Everybody agreed. “Becca?” Cal asked.
Becca snapped her attention to him as if hearing him for the first time. “Yeah. Cover the pass. Got it.”
“What’s the matter?” I asked her.
She frowned. “Nothing. Let’s play.” She dropped back a little to find her zone.
“Ready? Okay,” Samantha Monohan shouted from the deck. “It’s football. We love it. It’s football. So suck it! Goooooooo, both teams!” Sam looked down at Cassie, who was running her fingers through Sweeney’s hair. The guy would usually be way into that kind of thing, but instead he sat totally still. If I didn’t know that Sweeney was suffering with no pain meds, I would have guessed he was doped up.
Mike took the snap from Tim. On my team, Cal and Brad started growling the five count. Tim, TJ, and JoBell shot off on pass routes. In backyard footbrawl, everybody, including the center, was an eligible receiver.
I should have covered TJ, but he was way the hell across the yard and JoBell ran right by me. “Becca, you got TJ!”
Mike threw to JoBell, who caught the ball and kept moving. I followed. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I said as I prepared to tackle my fiancée.
“Not a chance.” JoBell cut back inside and shoved my shoulder hard. “You suck, babe!” She spiked the ball in the end zone at the edge of the yard. “Touchdown!”
The other team celebrated the score as they ran back to get ready to kick off. Becca jogged over to Sweeney and Cassie. “You okay?” she said to him. She must have noticed his doped-up look too.
Sweeney winced a little as he got out of his chair. Cassie patted his good arm and tried to hold on to him, but he pulled away and limped into the house. Cassie stood still, looking confused, but Becca followed him inside.
“What’s going on?” I said as I reached the deck.
Cal ran up. “Sweeney okay?”
I shook my head. “Just hang on. I’ll go check it out.” Sweeney had been getting better, but he still hurt a lot, and lately he’d been a little out of it, kind of down. But a deeper shadow had clouded his face just now before he’d gone in. I headed inside. Low voices were coming from his room.
“Baby, they’re going to be okay.” Becca’s quiet voice drifted out to the hall.
I was about to ask who was going to be okay when I noticed a flicker of movement in the mirror on the wall. I could see around the corner into Sweeney’s room, where he sat in a chair in front of a little desk. Becca leaned down to kiss his good cheek.
“When I hear you say that, I can almost believe it,” Sweeney said. He held up her hand and kissed her fingers.
What was going on here? He’d hit on her for years and never gotten anywhere. Maybe this was just the way close friends were. I’d been pretty close to Becca too, once. Very close.
She stroked his cheek with her other hand. “You’ll see I’m right.”
He looked up at her. “Becca … I know in the past, I’ve been a real asshole.”
“Eric, no.”
He held up his hand and then winced a little. “It’s true, though. And I’m sorry about that. I’ve been a rich, spoiled, sexist …”
I heard his breath shake. Was he crying?
“Becca,” Sweeney continued. “Since I was burned. Just … thank you. I never would have made it through any of this without your help.”
They were quiet then for a long time. I took a couple steps away from my view of the mirror and leaned back against the wall. Did Sweeney and Becca have a thing? Sweeney, the guy who went through more girls than Starbucks made lattes? He had warned me not to hurt Becca, and he was getting with her now? He’d just been sitting out on the deck all snuggled up with Cassie Macer.
I started back to join the others, stopping in the kitchen to get a glass of water. Was I mad about this? That would be insane. I wasn’t mad. I was engaged. Becca could date whoever she wanted. She’d congratulated me and JoBell on our engagement. It was just that I worried about her dating Sweeney. Right. That was it. Sweeney had treated women like recyclable products. I didn’t want him hurting Becca. There was nothing else to it. Really. Nothing.
“Are you going to be okay with this?” Becca asked from behind me.
I jumped and spun so fast that I spilled a little water. She stood with her hands on her hips. She’d been out of the football game for maybe five minutes, and she’d already reholstered her nine mil and slipped her knife into the sheath on her lower leg. Yet she still wore her butterfly clip in her red-brown hair. The war had hardened her, but she was still Becca.
“What?” I took a sip of water. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not half as good a spy as you think you are, and I’m way more alert now, not as easy to sneak up on.” She folded her arms. “You know exactly what I mean.”
Did she know what I thought I knew, what I thought I’d seen? “I was just checking on Sweeney.”
“Damn it, Danny. You’re the bravest person I know in a firefight, but when it comes to love and relationships, you’re such a coward.”
“So you and Sweeney?”
“Yeah. You got a problem with that?”
Why couldn’t we have stayed outside playing football? Backyard footbrawl was so much easier than all this. “Of course not. Date whoever you want. Or you don’t even have to date, you know. You could just mess around. Have some fun.” She said nothing but stared at me. “Um. Because you know Sweeney. He’s with one girl one minute and the next —”
“Yeah, I do know Sweeney,” she said sharply. “Do you?”
“I’ve known him all my life. We’ve been in fights together, both of us on the football team since junior high.”
“That was all before,” Becca said. “You’ve hardly talked to him since he was burned.”
“How could I? He’s always at the hospital or —”
“And I’ve been with him at the hospital, right after his accident and now. I brought him food and water, and I made sure his wounds didn’t get infected. I held his hand when he hurt so bad that he wanted to die.” Her eyes were sharp and pinned on me. “I made sure he was never alone. And we talked. He’s changed. I’ve changed.” She looked down for the first time. “I love him.” Her attention snapped back up to me. “And I’ll knock your ass out if you try to treat either of us like we just have silly little crushes. This is different. It’s more than that. And I know we’re in the middle of a war, and so all of this might sound frivolous, but these feelings are real. They matter. Maybe they matter more now, because we’re in a war. And anyway, we don’t get to choose how we feel.”
It was my turn to stare at my boots. “No, we don’t,” I said quietly. I kind of understood right then why she was attacking me, why she was so upset. And I knew why Sweeney and her hadn’t said anything about their thing. She’d been expecting me to accuse her of all that she’d just defended herself against. And hadn’t I started with those arguments? Anyway, it was none of my business. If I was honest, I guess, weirdly, a pa
rt of me felt bad that she’d moved on so quickly from caring about me.
“You and JoBell are engaged.” For the first time since I came back to Freedom Lake, Becca sounded like her old self. The sweetness was back in her voice. “It killed me inside, but I congratulated you. I’ve supported you. I hope that you can support me and Eric with —”
“I’m happy for you,” I said. “Happy for you both.”
She almost smiled. “Really?”
“Hell yeah,” I said. “You guys are my best friends. My family. I want you to be happy. I was just surprised, is all. Can you be patient with me while I adjust to all this?”
She laughed a little as she stepped up and held up her hand, first for a high five, then for a fist bump.
“Come here.” I pulled her in for a hug and felt her squeeze me tight.
“Thank you, Danny,” she said.
“Thank Sweeney.”
She stepped away from me, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe I will.” She frowned. “But later. He said he wants to be alone for now.”
“He in pain?”
“Yes,” she said. “But it’s more than that. Come on.” She put her arm around me and led me toward the back deck. “Might as well tell everyone at once.”
Everyone went silent when we got out to the backyard. It looked like they’d given up on the football game and had just been tossing the ball around or talking. Becca closed the sliding door and leaned back against the glass. “Eric’s dad called, said he and Mrs. Sweeney are on their way home. They made it out of Florida, but the roads are bad, and there’s a lot of fighting in different places. Bandits and stuff. Eric tried to get a better idea of where they were, but then the call dropped.”
“Are his parents all right?” JoBell asked.
Becca shrugged.
“But even before that call, I could tell something’s really wrong with him,” said Cassie. “It’s like he doesn’t even know me anymore. I’m worried about him.”
Becca shot me a look like, That’s why we didn’t want to tell anyone. I nodded and put my arm around JoBell, who was sitting on top of the picnic table.
Sam dropped down into Sweeney’s chair, no more cheer in her. “I hope his parents are okay. But also, I don’t think he likes watching football. He was pretty down, mumbling about never being able to play again.”
Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally Cal squeezed Samantha’s shoulder. “We’ll cheer him up!” He pointed at me. “And it’s Danny’s eighteenth birthday! We’ll wish him a happy birthday the way we Freedom Lake Minutemen do best.” He held out his free arm like he was making a big announcement. “My friends, we shall have —” He looked around to make sure he had everyone’s attention. “A raging kegger!”
Cheers went up from the whole group.
“I have bratwurst and burgers for the grill,” Cal continued. “A bunch of bags of chips. Hell, I’ve even liberated some cookies and shit! We need to party! We’ve earned it.”
I caught a look from Jaclyn Martinez and knew exactly what she was thinking. We were getting ready to pig out the same way we had before the war, while the best her family could hope for was canned soup, fruits, and vegetables sneaked in by her friends.
It was my birthday, but it was not happy.
* * *
Cal must have been planning this for some time, because that night at the party, Samantha surprised us all with a full-on birthday cake, my name written in frosting and everything. Becca started to ask where she found all the ingredients, but it was clear that being Cal’s girlfriend had its benefits. Cal put burgers on the grill, then pulled me up in front of everyone.
“Now for your birthday present!” he said.
I tried to tell him I didn’t want anything, but he wasn’t listening. Instead, he pushed Brad Robinson and TJ apart like a curtain, revealing an entire keg of beer.
The big guy put his arm around me. “Happy birthday, buddy!”
How much would something like that cost? How had Cal gotten it?
When the food was ready, we sat around on the deck and told stories about old football games, fights, trucks, and parties. Stuff that didn’t matter anymore. With the beer and the food, it should have been a perfect evening, but I couldn’t help noticing Jaclyn gulping down her meal like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. She wasn’t alone. Everybody but Samantha and those of us who lived with Cal ate like they hadn’t had anything this good, or even much food at all, in a very long time.
After we ate, the party went on like a lot of other parties. A big group out back on the deck by the keg. Some guys playing video games. Music from someone’s comm. Hank McGrew came on once with some song about freedom. I couldn’t handle that stuff anymore and switched to really old rock.
“Man, I hope the Brotherhood will let me join soon,” Dylan Burns said to me, munching some chips. “They get all the best stuff. About the only snacks we’ve had at my house have been some canned peaches my mom had from last year.” I took a sip of beer. Dylan continued, “They’re really careful about who they let in. It’s a super-secret process how they decide who they’ll accept. But the Brotherhood loves you. They’ll let you in no problem. When are you going to join?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I was actually hoping to kind of take it easy.”
Dylan grabbed more chips from a bowl on the table. “What? Are you kidding me? The Brotherhood is the coolest. Once you’re in, you’re set.”
I was happy when the doorbell rang and I could get away from that guy. But then I answered the door and found Nathan Crow — former sheriff Nathan Crow — smiling on the step outside.
I shoved my cup of beer behind my back and smiled like an idiot, trying to act like everything was normal. “Mr. Crow,” I said. “Great to see you. I didn’t know you were coming.”
Crow laughed and then smoothed his mustache. “Relax, Danny! And call me Nathan. I’m not sure what the legal drinking age is in the Republic of Idaho, but in my book, if you’re old enough to serve your country in the military, you’re old enough to have a beer. And trust me, nobody is going to bust the legendary PFC Wright.” He nodded to the house. “May I come in?”
I spoke quietly. “We got a lot of friends here. A bunch of them are younger than me. Not serving in the military.”
He nodded again. “Nobody’s getting busted tonight, long as nobody tries to drink and drive.”
I stood aside from the door. Cassie Macer looked up with horror as Crow walked in. I figured I better do something before my friends started running away. “Hey, everybody can chill. Nathan Crow’s just, um, here —” Why was he here? “Um, for the party. We’re not getting busted.”
Even with my reassurance, the party completely froze. Cal came in from the deck with Samantha on his arm. His face lit up when he saw Crow. “Hey, you made it! Great! Anybody else?”
“Are you kidding?” Crow said. “I wouldn’t miss Danny’s big eighteenth birthday. I shuffled the guard rotation so a bunch of our Brothers can make it. With this birthday party today, and graduation in a week, things are good.” He patted my shoulder. “You and your friends are still planning to attend the graduation ceremony, aren’t you?”
Graduation. I’d almost forgotten about it. My friends had missed most of the school year. I’d been gone longer than them. And now with Mr. Shiratori under some joke of an investigation, the whole idea felt stupid. But Crow seemed really excited about it, and it would be best not to piss him off. I didn’t know what he was so fired up about. I’d been to graduations before. They were always held in the hot gym, with all these boring speeches. Old people cried. Was he just excited because he had all his Brotherhood flags up? “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it,” I said.
“Great!” Crow shouted. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me into an empty corner. “I’m going to make sure everybody in town is there. I think this is going to be a great way to bring some more unity to this town for the struggle ahead. And best of all, Danny, I’ve been talking to some of the leadership of the
Brotherhood of the White Eagle, and they all agree with me. You’re exactly the kind of man we’re looking for.”
“What?”
Crow laughed. “Don’t be so modest, Danny! We want you to become one of us. I’ll be speaking at graduation, and I’ve set aside some of the time before we hand out diplomas for your armband ceremony.” He looked off across the room like he was gazing at the future. “Just think, you’ll be able to walk across that graduation stage with your own Brotherhood armband. Later, after you do your initiation mission to prove your loyalty to us, which should be no problem for an experienced soldier like you, you’ll be a full member of the Brotherhood of the White Eagle.”
“I, um … geez.”
“Aw, don’t worry about it,” Crow said. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s the least I could do for you after all you’ve done to give the Brotherhood the big chance we’ve been waiting for. The whole ceremony will be on local TV and on a radio network we’re getting set up. I think a lot of people will be more motivated to support the Brotherhood’s mission if they see you joining us. So what do you say?” He offered a handshake.
Joining the Brotherhood of the White Eagle was the last thing I wanted in the whole world. It seemed like the worst thing I could do if I wanted to get out of the fighting. But TJ and Becca had warned me to play it cool with these guys. I shook his hand. “Sounds great.”
Crow kept hold of my hand. He looked me in the eye, and his smile faded. “It’s about loyalty, Danny. Some people don’t understand all the good the Brotherhood is accomplishing. They can’t see our great future. They doubt our mission and sneak around trying to undermine what we’re doing. But I know you understand. Your father understood.” What the hell was Crow saying? What exactly had my father understood? Did I really want to know? His handshake was so firm, my hand was starting to ache. Finally he let me go. “Think about it.”
“Can’t wait,” I said.
“Well, don’t waste your time hanging around an old fart like me.” Crow refreshed his smile. “Go have fun with your friends. This is your night. It wasn’t easy finding a whole keg of beer, but you’ve done so much for the Brotherhood of the White Eagle that we just had to come through for you in a big way like this. Go! Party!”
