I felt no humor when I stepped away from him and laughed. “Don’t make me hurt you?” It was a poor imitation of him. “You can kill me right now and end the life I’m carrying. I don’t care.”
His sharp claws raked the left side of my cheek. The hot sting of his slap was followed by a warm trickle down my face. One bloody, clawed hand clamped around my throat as Halloween lifted me off the floor and held me there.
His hold on my neck, painful and cruel, restricted my airway. I’d seen brutality from him once before, the first night we met—the same night he saved me from Jack. We fought and then he’d fed. But that was the only time. Even prior to our arrangement, the vampire had treated me with a sort of thoughtfulness, even shown a great deal of generosity. But I didn’t know how to deal with him like this or why all of a sudden he felt it necessary to revert to such forceful measures.
After a silent moment, he pulled me closer, our noses practically touching, his claws cutting deeper in the flesh around my throat. Even as he lapped at the blood, I knew the few swipes he’d made with his tongue over the scratches on my face wouldn’t be enough. A deep rumble arose from the depths of his gut and exited his red-stained lips about a second before his free arm slammed around my waist, pinning me to his body. He was going to bite.
How did we get back here?
He’d won, and we both knew it. There was nothing I could to do stop him, and if I fought back…
Suddenly the grip around my neck loosened and I gulped a quick breath, but this time I was smart enough to keep my spiteful tongue in check. I tried to make eye contact, hoping he’d feel remorse if he caught a glimpse of the terror in my eyes, but Halloween pushed my head to the side with a balled fist.
I felt the scrape of fangs on the sensitive skin behind my ear, and froze. Tears blurred my vision. This is it.
“I need to hear you scream.” Halloween’s voice was so soft, so gentle. I had a hard time believing he’d spoken the words. “Do it now!” The instant I heard the harsh grinding beside my ear, I screamed.
Halloween hadn’t bitten. He’d scraped his fangs over my skin but then stopped. I had no idea why. And I was as clueless about his sudden anger and attack or why he demanded that I show him fear. The funny thing was that, for the first time in a long time, I was truly and completely afraid. I forced my body to remain motionless in his arms, my head resting against his collarbone, as he carried me from the pantry. But each step he took in the direction of the closet increased the cold tension emanating from his body, and I couldn’t stop from shivering in response.
Something’s gone terribly wrong.
“Her fear smells almost as sweet as her blood.” Anouk’s screechy voice echoed through the corridor behind us, the implied cruelty more than evident in her haunting tone. I couldn’t stop the cringe that tightened around my shoulders and neck. Despite my fear of him, I hid my face in the crook of Halloween’s neck and closed my eyes.
Halloween stopped but thankfully didn’t turn around. “Leave us, Anouk. I’m not finished with her yet.”
Shit!
A twitch in my leg caused Halloween to tighten his grip. He kept his black claws retracted, but the tips of his fingers still dug painfully into flesh and muscle.
“As you wish. Zoe and Lincoln are back with the other humans. All are secured in the panic room. And Dagon and Kuro are out disposing of the dried husk of her freaky father.”
I wanted to scream, to cry, to plunge the blade of my knife into the grey-colored skin of her throat and carve out the organ that made her voice so goddamn irritating. But I can’t do any of those things…right now.
Halloween moved forward, his footsteps falling quicker, more urgently. “Thank you. Now go and make it known that we are not to be disturbed.”
“Of course, Sire.”
Halloween used one foot to open the closet door and then turned swiftly to shut it behind him. He let my legs drop, but he kept my upper body secured to his chest as he slid the small lock into place. The instant my feet hit the concrete floor, they moved, trying to backpedal from the beast who appeared to be seconds from releasing the full force of his wrath.
Halloween unhooked his arm. With my feet already moving, I hit the back wall with a not-so-gentle thud. In front of me, the two burning orbs blinked out, blanketing the closet in darkness. My newly acquired vision allowed me to see in the pitch-black, but my fear blurred my sight and kept me from hearing anything over my own panting breaths.
I flattened my body against the wall, wishing I could disappear into the concrete, when a soft flickering light and a pungent whiff of sulfur filled the small closet. Halloween lit two candles, obviously for my benefit. Maybe I should tell him I didn’t need the flames to see.
No, I can use it to my advantage one day, especially if I need to escape. Was Tilly thinking the same thing when she kept her secret from me?
“What are you going to do to me?” My insides were trembling hard enough to put a hole through my stomach.
Halloween dropped to his knees. His bright, fiery orbs heated every inch of my skin as he raked his eyes over the length of my body.
“I’m going to beg for your forgiveness.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
What? First my father, and now you…
Halloween dipped his head. A curtain of sleek black hair fell to shield his face from my questioning stare. Slowly raising his powerful arms, he unclenched his fists and lengthened his fingers one by one to offer his empty shadowed palms.
“You attacked me for no reason!” I slid along the wall until I reached a corner. He told me not to trust him. I surely didn’t believe he was sorry for what he’d said or done. Why would he be sorry?
Halloween pivoted on bended knee following my movement, but he never lifted his head or dropped his open hands. “Leo, I am sorry for what happened, for scaring you, hurting you. If there’d been any other way, I never would have…”
“I don’t believe you.” Except a part of me wanted to believe him, a very big part—the childish-girl side that thought there was something more developing between us. The slight ache in my head had grown to a fast throbbing hurt.
He isn’t my friend. He’s the master and I’m just his blood slave, a body to house his demon-vampire baby.
My mouth dried very suddenly, making the act of swallowing difficult. Not that my stomach would allow much to enter its twisted pit of pain.
Halloween inched forward until his knees touched the tips of my boots. His opened hands hovered in the air a few inches above my waist. “I am sorry. But I can’t allow you to come between me and my brethren. Your defiant nature is one of the things I admire most about you. However, you can never defy me again. The risks are too great. I beg you, please forgive my earlier actions and submit yourself to me. It would displease me to hurt you again.”
I moved to smack him away only to have my wrists captured between his gentle fingers. Pulling me down, he opened his thighs to make room for me. Only when I kneeled before him did he lift his head, trapping me with his brilliant gaze.
“My feelings for you are perceived as a weakness. Anouk, Dagon, and Kuro may, at some point, want to take advantage of that fault.”
Hurt me again and I will, too.
Halloween shifted his weight and sat back on bent legs. “I’ve struggled to achieve and maintain balance my whole life. I walk a fine line between virtue and sin. Poor decisions caused the destruction of your father’s life work. I can’t allow that to happen to me, to us. One wrong step and everything comes crumbling down. I’d lose more than a family, Leo. I’d lose what little I have left of my soul.”
I couldn’t even begin to understand what Halloween was telling me. The mention of my father’s death filled me with regret and my guilty tears washed over the back of Halloween’s hands. A single tear slipped between his knuckles, scorching the inside of my middle finger. I jerked my hand away, wiping the moisture off on my jeans, and almost doubled over from the cramps in my gut.
>
It’s not that my father hadn’t deserved death—he had. But he had still been the one who’d given me life, cared for me when I was sick, played with me when I needed a friend. He raised me to be strong and independent. Now, more than ever, I needed to be strong.
Halloween’s lips moved. They were so close to mine, but the words he’d spoken had no sound. Grabbing my face with icy fingers, he gave me a firm shake. “You need blood. Drink.” Halloween guided my head to a quickly made gash on his neck. Despite my immediate hunger, I was hesitant. He’d always fed me from his wrist or his hand.
Swiping the loose hair away from his shoulder, he stretched his neck to the side. In the candlelight, his taut, shadowed flesh glistened with droplets of blue-honey. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to it—to him. I closed my mouth over the wound and enjoyed the cool sweetness of his blood, but those small drops weren’t enough. I bit down hard, releasing a flood of pure saccharine that traveled swiftly down my throat to my aching stomach.
We were already sitting very close, but I had to get closer. I climbed into his lap, legs straddling his waist as I pressed against him, now wanting to melt into him instead of the wall behind me. Halloween groaned, one hand stroking my hair almost lovingly as I continued to drink from him. Then I felt both of his hands slip under the hem of my fleece. His arctic touch burned the length of my spine, his fingers branching out around my ribs to graze the sides of my breasts. I pulled my mouth from the wound on his neck and sat back slowly.
Warm pumpkin-colored eyes skimmed over my lips, down my neck, and then stopped in the center of my chest. His hands moved lightly over my ribcage, raising a trail of goose bumps wherever his fingers touched. Silky, icy hands cupped my breasts, hardening my nipples long before he plucked the sensitive tips.
I leaned forward and brushed my lips against the edge of his long, pointed ear. “Is this what you meant by submit?”
Halloween removed his hands from underneath my shirt and lightly pushed me away, but he made sure to keep a grip on the sleeves of my shirt. “I would never force you.”
I know.
I searched his face for any sign of his true feelings. Though his pupils were increasing in size, I came up empty. “I don’t know what this is… I don’t know what to do. One minute I think we’re friends and the next minute you attack me.” I loosened my legs and eased back a little more.
Halloween released his hold. “I tried to explain that it’s complicated.”
Missing his touch and hating myself for it, I shook my head. “Try harder.”
“The conflict you started in the courtyard raised more suspicion from Anouk. She’s noticed how differently I treat you, and she noticed how easily you can work up a crowd. These feelings I have for you are new to me… Anouk knows that, if I can’t get my emotions—and you—contained, I’ll be in danger of losing control. The others obey me because I have the power to keep their demons in check.”
“How?”
Halloween clasped his hands together. “Like humans, some of us are more good than evil, our angelic side stronger than our demonic side. The less sin we commit, the more we retain of our soul. I don’t want to live forever, and one day, I hope Heaven will find it in her heart to accept me. That is why I’ve created a place where humans and my kind live in harmony—they give of themselves to help each other survive. Our community is rare and very fragile. It’s the one thing I’d kill for. The others need proof that I’m still in charge, and I have to put them first. You might not forgive me but I want you to understand.”
The sad part was that I did understand—some of it anyway. And I couldn’t blame him for what he felt he had to do. A slap across the face to scent the air with blood and a little manhandling, after asking me to scream to appease Anouk, was minor in comparison to what he could have done.
It’s nothing compared to what I did to protect my brother. I ordered my own father’s death. Heaven will never allow me to enter her pearly gates.
Halloween’s hands found their way back to mine. He tugged, and I went willingly into the strong cradle of his arms. Though I needed to know more…
Why is he the only one to keep the demons away, and how? Why had he and Tilly kept her new sight a secret, and what else happened out in the courtyard?
I had to let it go, but then, I was getting used to letting things go: my blood, my freedom, my family, my body, Ben…
But Lincoln wouldn’t be one of them. He was the only thing I refused to give up.
“I would not have done what I did if she hadn’t followed me inside.” His hand ghosted over my perfectly healed cheek and throat. I turned to face him and watched his gaze lock on my mouth. With the orange glow dimming his irises and his black pupils almost fully dilated, I watched Halloween’s desire grow.
“I have the upmost respect for you. The fact that I can’t show my admiration in front of the others won’t diminish my feelings. I need you to be a silent and obedient partner whenever they’re present. This is important not only for my survival but for yours—and theirs.” Halloween dipped his head into the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply. “Can you do that?”
I nuzzled closer, but when I realized what I’d done, I tried to pull back. Halloween placed a firm hand on my nape, holding me in place. “If you do something for me?”
Halloween released his hold with a heavy sigh. “It was a yes or no question.”
“I can’t leave my brother.”
Raising his head from my shoulder, Halloween brushed a few flyaway strands of hair away from my forehead. “Not to be insensitive about the death of your father, but the threat your brother and Zoe faced is gone. Lincoln’s safe.”
Halloween’s eyes moved over my face, pausing to focus on one eye before moving on to the next, possibly searching for hidden clues for the words I hadn’t yet spoken. He tilted his head to the right and raised one black brow. What does he see in me?
“I made a promise to Linc, a promise I won’t break for any reason or for anyone. If my brother wants to come with me, then he will come. I won’t leave him behind ever again.”
Halloween flicked a thin tongue over his bottom lip. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”
“Find a way. You’re asking a lot of me. Hell, you’re asking me to change my nature, have a child, and save your race. All I want in return is my brother. He’s the only family I have left.”
Halloween flattened one hand against my stomach. “We’re your family.”
I pushed his hand away. The last thing I wanted to be reminded of was the life inside me, the life he’d altered. The life I didn’t want. Like I could forget.
Curling around me, his body felt like a protective cocoon. “I…care for you. Don’t push me away.”
I turned in his lap, putting my back to him. All his mention of “feelings” made me nervous, even if he wasn’t very clear on what his feelings for me were. Just admitting that he had them was enough to make my head spin. From his choice of words, or the lack thereof, he didn’t know what was happening between us either.
There’s one way to find out… No… I shouldn’t even be thinking it.
Halloween didn’t try to stop me when I got to my feet. A quick shake of my legs and a long stretch of my back helped me to clear my head of some of my racing thoughts.
A slight rustling of fabric and I knew he had stood up, too. Something pivotal was about to happen. All I had to do was turn around. “I don’t know if I can change who I am.”
“It’s only for a short while, and I’m only asking you to try. I’ll help you when I can.”
“Really? How do you plan to keep my temper and tongue in check, especially when it comes to Dagon and Anouk?” Those two had it in for me from the very beginning. They decided early on that I was beneath them and had since taken every opportunity to rub me the wrong way.
“My plan is to keep your temper and tongue all to myself.”
The swirling breeze that lifted the ends of my hair let me know Halloween ha
d moved again. I dropped my head, focusing on the midnight toes that inched closer. He’d kissed me once, though the kiss and his touch were only to prepare and distract me from his painful bite. Halloween had instructed me to think of Ben, to picture the man I loved.
I can’t think of Ben now.
The tip of his cool finger tapped the center of my neck and slid upward, urging me to lift my chin. I met his burning eyes with equal amounts of anticipation and unease. Halloween dipped his head, leaned in, and at the same time pulled me closer. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
My heart slammed against my chest. A little unnerved by the intensity of his gaze, I worried my bottom lip between my teeth. I’d been trying not to imagine him kissing me ever since he’d gotten down on his knees and asked to be forgiven. “No. Are you?”
A sly smile crossed his velvety lips just before he pressed them to mine. My breath caught in my throat. He held very still, his firm mouth gradually softening as if waiting for me to decide.
He’s waiting for you to kiss him back, stupid.
I lifted a hand to his neck. Threading my fingers into his ebony hair, I grazed my thumb over the long rim of his ear and gave him a soft exploring kiss. A growl erupted through his parted lips and resonated through my mouth as Halloween responded appreciatively. Our second kiss was no longer soft or polite, and I was thankful for it, for him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Halloween held my hands over my head as he pinned me with his hard body against the concrete block wall. The need to feel something other than pain and guilt made me weak and easy to seduce. But I didn’t care. I’d never wanted anything as badly as I wanted him.
Abandoning my mouth for the first time since he started kissing me, Halloween moved his hands lightly down my arms, around the column of my neck to my shoulders, and then still further down. Chills of excitement hurried to catch the fingertips that had created them.
The Dead Days Journal: Volume 1 Page 21
