by Jane Jamison
“Me? But how? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
“Reach him with your soul. Talk to him, touch him, be with him. If you two were truly meant to be together, he’ll hear you and come back to you. You’ve already roused him once. That’s a good sign.”
Shay nodded although she wasn’t sure how to do what Penn was saying. “He has to live.”
“You must know one more thing.”
She would’ve sworn that her heart skipped a beat. “Yes?”
“You know what he is.”
“Yes.”
“As a werewolf, he may change while the poison is still in his body. His inner wolf will fight to stay alive even if his human half may choose to leave this world. He may shift completely. If he does, I can’t promise that he will know you.”
She swallowed and fought her own struggle against fear. “But I thought they could. That their human side remained. But you’re saying he could hurt me.”
“He may not change at all or just part of the way. There’s no way for us to know what will happen. But the poison can make him forget who you are. Who everyone is. If he runs into the forest, he may never return, and he’ll die alone.”
The thought of Renkon alone and suffering chilled her to the bone. But what could she do to keep him here if he turned? She was no match for a werewolf.
“You have to be careful.” Penn grew thoughtful. “I should send for Rosh and Walker.”
“No.” She couldn’t believe that Renkon could ever harm her. “I’ll be okay.”
Penn gathered her materials and put them back into the basket. “If that’s your decision, then I’ve done all that I can. Now it’s up to both of you.” She crossed to the other side and patted Shay on the arm before hefting her basket in front of her and exiting.
Shay sat with him, unable to think of anything else to do. Could he hear her?
She poured some cold water on a rag and placed it on his feverish forehead. “Renkon, if you can hear me, listen really hard, okay? I’m not into a lot of mushy stuff, so I’m going to say this straight out. I care about you.”
She coughed out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob. “I don’t know when or how it happened, but you’ve come to mean a great deal to me. I want you to hold me, to kiss me, to tell me that you care for me, too.”
His pale skin frightened her. How could a man so robust, tanned, and filled with life look so dead? She wiped the awful word away. He wasn’t dead, and he wasn’t going to die. Not if she had anything to say about it.
She choked back another sob. She wouldn’t cry. To cry might let him think she thought his condition was hopeless. No way would she let him down.
“Fine. Maybe I am getting a little mushy. So sue me. No, wait. Rosh might actually do that.” She smiled and imagined that she saw the corners of his mouth tweak upward. But it was only her imagination.
“Maybe it’s this place, or the people, or you three men, but I’m different here. I’ve always kept going, trying new things, daring to take life for everything it’s worth. I think part of me was afraid of slowing down. It’s like if I stop moving, I’ll find out that I really don’t have anywhere to call home.”
She took his hand and played with his fingers, moving them up and down so she could pretend that he was the one really in control of them. “Oh, sure, Passion is a great little town with lots of different people and things to do. And it was a great town to grow up in. But I think I left, trying to find somewhere else to live, because I’ve always felt like a piece of my life was missing. Like I had to find…more. Does that make sense?”
Please wake up. Please. I need you.
“I think maybe I was hunting for you. And Rosh and Walker, too. I know it sounds stupid, like one of those ridiculous romantic comedies, but I can’t help it. The longer I stay here, the better I feel. The more I feel for you and for them. You and the other men fill a need that I didn’t even know I had. I think I may have finally found my real home.”
She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. The thump of his heart reassured her even though it was neither strong nor regular, but at least it still beat. She yearned to have his arms around her. If he’d heard her and could answer, what would he say?
“Renkon, come back to me. I don’t think I could stand losing you.”
She felt the growl rumble through his chest a second before she heard it with her ears. Fear formed a roadblock in her throat and made breathing difficult. Slowly, she lifted her head as the fur spread over his body.
Holy shit, he’s shifting.
She pushed away from him, never taking her eyes off him as her feet found the floor. His body blurred, but she could still make out his arms and legs bending, breaking with terrible popping sounds. His face elongated and pointed ears replaced his human ones. Claws broke through the ends of his fingers.
She backed up as one of the men she loved changed into a large black wolf. “Renkon, it’s me, Shay.”
Cold eyes latched on to her as he pulled his lips into a snarl. Vicious fangs dripped with saliva as he came to a crouch on top of the bed. If he leapt at her, he could tear out her throat with one quick slash of his deadly claws. Her back struck the wall, and she glanced toward the door Penn had closed behind her.
If I ran, could I make it out the door before he caught me?
She doubted it. He had to be faster than she, especially when her legs had suddenly locked. Even bending her knees seemed impossible.
“If he runs out into the forest, he may never return, and he will die alone.”
Penn’s ominous warning made her decision easier. She had to keep him in the room. Even if it meant sacrificing her life.
“Renkon, listen to my voice. You know me. I’m the woman you love.”
He growled then jumped off the bed. She cried out, closing her eyes as her legs gave out and she sank to the floor. When she opened them, he was only a couple of feet away from her.
“Please hear me. You know who I am. I won’t hurt you.”
She almost laughed. Yeah, like I could totally whoop his furry ass.
Amber eyes gleamed, but for a moment, she thought she saw something other than rage in them. “That’s right. You know me, Renkon. I’m Shay. If you can’t remember me, then try to trust me.”
Taking a deep breath along with sending a prayer skyward, she reached out her hand. He tilted his head at her.
He probably thinks I’m some crazy human bitch. She dragged in another breath. I think he may be right.
The snarl went away with his whine. He plopped down on the floor, like a pet dog at its master’s feet, then started shifting again. Closer than before, she could see his fur disappear as human skin stretched over changing limbs. The long muzzle left, replaced by his nose and chin. Soon, Renkon the man lay at her feet.
She grabbed him, surprised and relieved that his eyes were open. “Renkon, help me get you back into bed. I can’t lift you by myself.”
He moaned as she took him under his arms and tugged on him. “Come on, man. Do your part. You owe me for scaring the shit out of me.”
Whether he heard her or not, or whether he ran on instinct, he struggled to his feet and put his weight on her. Puffing, she managed to get him to the bed and let him fall back. She lifted his legs and straightened his body into a more comfortable position.
“Renkon? No. Don’t you dare close your eyes again. You open them this instant.”
But his eyes remained closed. “Damn it. You’d better come back to me. I don’t play nursemaid for just anyone, you know.”
“If anyone can make him come back, it’s you.”
She bolted upward to find Walker and Rosh standing at the doorway. They made no attempt to draw closer.
Oh, sure. Now they show up.
“We didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Yes, we did. We could’ve gone when we first heard you. But we didn’t want to.”
Rosh shot Walker a quick snarl. “Fine, we heard. But wh
at matters is what you said.” His gaze drifted to Renkon. “He loves you as much as we do. Don’t try and understand why or how. Don’t try to convince yourself that it’s not real because it came so fast. What’s between us”—he paused, his gaze darting to Walker then back—“all three of us, isn’t anything we could have planned.”
“We have a saying here.” Walker’s dark eyes glistened, and she had to wonder if tears were the cause of it. “‘When fate gives you a gift, accept it with open arms.’ Accept the gift, Shay.”
Rosh nudged him. “Let’s leave them alone. Renkon doesn’t need us. He needs her.”
Walker hesitated only for a moment before following his friend back into the living room. She heard the door close after she’d turned back to Renkon.
“It seems you’re my gift. Well, then, I accept. But I don’t like people who give me a present then turn around and take it away. So listen up, man. You’ve got to fight that poison. If you don’t and you die, then I’m never going to forgive you. You got that? Die and there’ll be hell to pay.”
Come on. Open your eyes and give me one of your great grins.
He remained still, only the lift and fall of his chest telling her that he still lived. Wanting to feel as close to him as possible, she stood and pulled her dress over her head. Climbing onto the bed, she stretched out next to him and molded her nude body to his. He was hot, too hot, and his sweat dampened her skin. Maybe she could absorb some of the poison, drawing it out of him and into her, where it couldn’t kill. She realized it was a fanciful thought, but she clung to the notion even as she closed her eyes and concentrated on sending healing thoughts to him.
Hear me, Renkon. Feel me. I’m here for as long as you want me.
She clung to him, listening to the erratic rhythm of his heart, and willed it to keep pumping. If she could, she’d take his place in the bed. She fell asleep with one thought echoing in her mind.
Stay with me.
Chapter Eight
Renkon awoke to find Shay’s arm thrown over his chest. Her naked body was snuggled next to his, and she cradled her head on top of his arm. Her long lashes rested against her smooth skin and dark hair spread over his arm, its silkiness as tempting to touch as her full lips. She was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her.
Had he really heard her speaking to him? Had his pain made him imagine the loving words she’d said? Her words had given him the strength to fight the cruel agony raging within his body. Did he recall the stroke of her hand on his cheek? Or was it only his fever that made him dream that his wishes had come true?
He frowned as another memory pushed the pleasant ones aside. A knife of remorse, more brutal than the blade Burac had used, stabbed into him as he recalled her face stricken with panic, her eyes wide, and her back against the wall. Werewolf amber had colored the sight of her, wiping away his desperate grasp on reason.
And then she’d spoken to him. He struck down the beast inside him, forcing it back under his control. If he hadn’t heard her voice, he doubted either one of them would have survived.
But we did, and she’s safe in my arms.
He brushed the hair away from her face, and she stirred, moaning in her sleep. Her breasts pushed against his side, already calling his cock to life. He shifted so that he faced her and touched the tip of his finger to her nipple. She arched, reacting to him. Smiling, he rubbed his thumb over the hardening bud then pressed his lips to hers in a gentle caress.
When she rolled onto her back, he paused to study her face. Was she really asleep, or was she faking it? Was she playing with him? Teasing him now that he had recovered? He didn’t care. Either way was good.
Easing her head off his arm, he propped himself up then skimmed his fingertip around her areola, down the hollow between her breasts, and to her belly button. She squirmed but didn’t open her eyes.
Taking that as a good sign, he continued his descent until he reached the curly mass of dark hair. He twirled a few hairs around his finger then cupped her mons. Taking another look to see if she still had her eyes closed, he flicked his tongue over her nipple and moved his finger between her pussy folds. Her chest rose with a quick inhale of air, but her eyes remained closed.
She was hot, as though she’d been waiting for his touch. He circled her clit, rubbing, but not too hard, not enough to wake her. Yet he knew he should. What would she say if she woke to find his fingers massaging her? Would she take offense, or would she open her legs wide, loving that he’d chosen this way to awaken her?
He took her nipple into his mouth and used his tongue to copy the circles he made below. He dragged in her scent, recognizing it as the same fragrance that had come into his dreams as he lay fighting the poison. He had sensed her just as he could drink in her aroma and feed from her strength now.
Visions of the attack, of Burac jumping out at him in his most vulnerable moment of transition barreled into him. Angry at the intrusion, he gritted his teeth, determined not to let that torturous moment ruin his time with her.
Instead he held on to the joy that had filled him when he’d awakened to find her leg and arm thrown over him, possessing him. She was the one who’d helped him stay inside his body even as his inner wolf cried out in pain. She was the one who’d healed him as surely as if she’d given him a miracle drug.
He slipped lower, deciding that he’d awaken her with an orgasm. Surely she couldn’t get angry at him for that?
Easing himself between her legs, he took a moment to drink in the sweet sight of her pussy. He yearned to see her pink bundle of nerves, to press his face to her and draw in her special smell. Closing his eyes, he did just that.
But her fragrance alone was not enough. He pushed aside her tiny folds covering her clit then flattened his tongue against her. She jolted, and he paused, waiting for her to tell him to stop. His cock pulsed in anticipation, but again his doubt took over. He’d never do anything against her will, and until they had lain with each other, he didn’t want to assume more.
But was she really asleep? He had to know for certain.
“Open your eyes, Shay. I want you to know who makes you feel this way.”
Her giggle was his answer. “Who goes down there?”
“You sneak!” He threw his body on top of hers, holding himself up so he wouldn’t crush her.
She giggled again, louder and longer, and slapped a hand over her mouth. He took her hand away to see her grin.
“Holy shit, Renkon. You really didn’t think I could sleep with you touching me like that, did you?”
“I had a feeling you were faking it.”
“Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you keep going if you were so sure?” Her eyes twinkled with mirth.
“Because I prefer a partner who contributes to the lovemaking.” He narrowed his eyes. “Or is pretending to sleep not the only thing you fake during sex?”
“Why, you lousy son of a bitch!”
She pushed against him, throwing him to the side, then flung her body over his. Her eyes widened and she tried to climb off of him, but he wouldn’t let her go.
“What’s the matter?” He was surprised he could speak with her heat pushing against his hard cock. If he didn’t get inside her soon, he might have an accident that Rosh and Walker would never let him live down.
“I don’t want to hurt you. Damn, how can I have been so stupid? You need more time to recover.”
“No, I don’t. I’m fine.” He dropped his gaze to his chest where the long gash had been. “See? All better.”
She skimmed her hand along the already-fading pink scar. “But how? That wound was deep. And the poison?” She shook her head, confusion putting lines in her forehead.
“Penn’s potion helped with the poison, and I’ll thank her as soon as I can. And it was my werewolf side of me that gave me the strength to hold on.”
“And the strength to almost kill me, too.”
He saw the regret on her face before she had a chance to apologize. He placed his hand on her throa
t. If he’d hurt her, killed her, he would’ve chosen to die soon after her.
“It’s okay. I talked you out of it. You were an absolute pussycat in my hands.”
“Argh, please don’t use ‘pussy’ and ‘cat’ in the same sentence.”
Her laugh could charm the birds out of the trees. “So you’re really fine? No lingering aches or pains?”
“Not a single one. Although I guess I’m still a bit weak.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”
She tried to get off him again, but he pulled her back on top. His cock settled into her crotch, pushing at her opening.
“I told you. I’m fine. Don’t be sorry. Be wild. Ride me, baby.”
“I don’t think so.”
“What?” Was she playing with him again? He didn’t think he could stand another round of pretend.
“I want you to finish what you started. Or shouldn’t I say the word ‘pussy’ again?”
“As long as it’s that word by itself, you’re good. In fact, you can say that word all the time. Come here.” He took her hips and helped her wiggle forward until her crotch was over his face. If Death had come for him at that moment, he would’ve happily gone.
“Damn, you’re beautiful.”
“Less talk and more tongue, wolfie.”
“Wolfie?”
“Yeah. You got a problem with my calling you that?”
“Does that mean you’re not freaked out about what I am? What we are?”
A flash of concern was on her face then gone. If he could’ve taken the question back, he would have.
“Freaked out? Sure. Especially after what happened while you were ill. But I’m trying not to be. As long as you stay in your human form, I’m good.”
“Okay. No changing without warning you.”
“Definitely. Keep your skin on.”
He pulled her labia apart with his fingers and let his eyes do more feasting. Her clit was swollen and glistening with her heat, ready to explode. Sliding a hand over her rounded stomach, he slid his tongue along her slit in a long, slow stroke. She jerked then let him settle her even closer so that he didn’t have to lift his head to drink from her.
