Punctured, Bruised, and Barely Tattooed

by Jamison, Jade C.

  “Then we better get you out to the truck fast. Don’t want you coming in public.”

  Yeah…it was a good thing Kory didn’t get embarrassed easily, or she might have died.

  * * *

  Kory sat in class that morning, finding it all but impossible to concentrate. The caffeine and sugar in her drink helped her feel alert, but her mind was all over the guy who’d rocked her world that morning. It wasn’t just that he was sexy, because the night before, he’d proven himself to be sensitive as well. He was a keeper.

  Except for that secret. What the fuck was his secret?

  Before class, he’d taken her to her apartment. Kory had texted Tina earlier and told her she had a ride to class, so her roomie didn’t have to worry about her, but, she told her, she’d still like a ride home. Her friend texted her back, saying No prob. At the apartment, Stone came in with her and didn’t say a word about the tiny, unassuming space she shared with her friends, including not saying a thing about her tinier, slightly messy bedroom. It wasn’t like Stone’s place. She had black sheets on the bed and it was unmade. She had a dresser, a trunk, and a makeup table, all arranged around the bed, squeezed in that small room without blocking the doors to the closet. All that Kory was was crammed into that room. The furniture, the dishes, the everything else in that apartment belonged to her friends. Sure, she’d pitched in to buy some silverware at the thrift store, but that was about it. The décor of the rest of the place was not Kory.

  Stone paused and looked at the wall where she had a couple of rock posters hanging up. The biggest one was a Killswitch Engage poster, but Stone focused on the Last Five Seconds one. Maybe it was because they were out of Colorado. She knew he was into the same music she was, so she didn’t say anything, especially because she had to worry about putting on clean clothes and getting her stuff together for classes.

  She was glad he wasn’t paying attention, because if he had given her one of those hot and sexy looks, she might have been tempted to skip class…and that wouldn’t have been good. She glanced at her makeup table. As much as she would have liked to put some on, she knew she just didn’t have time, so she crammed her books and a spiral notebook in her backpack and said, “Ready.”

  On the drive to the community college, Stone had asked what she was going to school for. “Business, I think.” He started laughing. “What’s so funny about that?”

  He looked over at her. “Oh, you’re serious?”

  “Yeah.”

  Stone looked back at the road. “What are you gonna do with a degree in business?”

  She felt her jaw grow firm, her fight response to his challenge…because he had challenged her, whether he knew it or not. “Make money.”

  He shrugged and glanced over at her again, and she thought she saw a touch of sadness in his eyes. “You don’t have to work in corporate America to make money.”

  Oh, God…Kory really wanted to ask him the question, but the time wasn’t right…and she had a feeling that Stone’s money was connected to his big fucking secret.

  And he’d asked her to be patient. He’d tell her in time.

  So she rolled her eyes and looked out the side window. “Maybe not, but it was the fastest, easiest way I could think of.” She took a sip of her coffee. Damn, that was good. She hated how Stone was right a lot, and there was no way she was going to point that out to him now. She certainly wasn’t going to mention that people in business were not her people. The ones at the top—the douchebag CEOs who made a million a minute by crushing the backs of minimum wage workers in the U.S. and dime-a-day workers in sweatshops outside the country—were definitely not her people, would never be her people. But it didn’t change the fact that she knew business was a great way to earn money.

  She did not want to be her mother.

  She would not rely on a man to take care of her, especially if it meant a child would be harmed.

  But that was beside the point. Kory didn’t want to live her life as a poor person. She didn’t want to have to worry about her next meal or having to take cold showers for three months because the hot water heater went out and she couldn’t afford to replace it.

  She didn’t want to have her old life, not now, not since she finally had control of her own destiny.

  And she was surprised, because Stone didn’t say another word. Instead, he drove her to the school, dropping her off by the building where her class was, and he got out, giving her an innocent kiss before letting her go.

  That kiss might have been innocent…but Kory’s thoughts in class were not. Not by a long shot.

  Chapter Fifteen

  OH, THE GUN. The fucking tattoo gun. It was coming at her in the darkness and the buzz was loud, consuming. She couldn’t escape, no matter how hard she tried.

  She tried to scream, but no sounds left her mouth.

  There was no escape…no escape…none.

  It was just a nightmare.

  Kory bolted up in bed, surrounded by the darkness in her bedroom. She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat from head to toe.

  At first, she just felt a sense of fear and dread. But then she began to remember the dream. Jesus, Art had fucked with her head so badly. Would she ever feel normal? Would she ever be able to escape?

  What she’d done with Stone yesterday morning seemed like progress. She would have thought as much before, but the fact that she was having nightmares again and thinking of little else made her begin to believe otherwise.

  She got up and turned on the light, deciding to catch up on reading for classes. She’d only been asleep for a couple of hours, having worked a late shift at On The Go. She was tired, but she knew there was no way she’d be able to sleep now.

  She got back in bed with a textbook and leaned her head back against the headboard. The best way she’d discovered to get that bastard Art out of her head was to think about Stone. Before reading, she closed her eyes and imagined him in her head—the tattoos all over his hard body, the way he towered over her, looking down in her eyes with a smart ass smirk on his face, his beautiful dark hair that was almost as long as hers, the way he let the hair on his face grow out just enough that it made him look rugged but without looking overly hairy, and those eyes…she could get lost in his dark eyes.

  Thinking about him made her tempted to grab her phone and type his name into a search engine so she could try to discover his secret…but she’d promised. She cared enough about him to respect his request, but she wasn’t going to wait forever.

  After reading a few pages, she dozed off again, but it wasn’t long before she jerked awake, having had another nightmare. That meant only one thing, and she couldn’t avoid it any longer—she was going to have to call Natalie and set up an appointment.

  * * *

  Kory felt dread that weighed heavy in her belly. She knew Natalie was a necessary evil, but she didn’t know that she was ready.

  It didn’t matter if she thought she was ready. She had to do it. If she didn’t, she might as well kiss Stone goodbye.

  He’d asked to see her more than once over the weekend, but she’d begged off, using work and lots of studying that needed to be done as an excuse. That wouldn’t work forever, though, and he knew she didn’t work Monday night. So, Monday morning, she’d called Natalie and begged her former therapist for an appointment as quickly as possible.

  “What time are your classes over?”

  Well, that settled it, and Kory was walking to Natalie’s office after class instead of hanging in the library waiting for Tina as she usually did. She was nervous about the whole thing because, even though she was older and possibly wiser than the last time Natalie had treated her, Kory knew that she might feel worse before she felt better, if it was anything like before. She knew Natalie would have her examine her life and her past, and it would hurt.

  She just didn’t understand why it was bothering her now. She thought she’d moved beyond it.

  She arrived at the two-story building a few blocks away from Mai
n Street where Natalie’s office was housed. It wasn’t near the hospital or other medical buildings; in fact, her office was next to a bank and in the same building the driver’s license people were in. It was a white, unassuming building surrounded with little fanfare, the only vegetation being a little strip of grass and two trees. Natalie’s office was located in the basement next to an accountant’s office.

  Walking in the door, Kory was struck by how much she herself had changed since she’d last been there. She’d been almost seventeen when she last visited Natalie, and she was convinced she’d never need to see her again. She remembered that last day, though—Natalie had walked out the door with her and said, “If you ever need me again, all you need to do is call.” Kory had smiled, feeling freer than she ever had, and thanked her, but she didn’t think she’d ever need to walk in that building again.

  And, much as that place offered comfort, it was also a harsh reminder of all the pain she’d felt when she’d been there. No, it wasn’t pain that Natalie had inflicted. It was pain that Natalie had helped Kory through. Natalie was convinced that there was more to Kory’s struggle than Kory had talked about, and even Kory herself felt like maybe she hadn’t been able to get to the bottom of it, but they’d discussed that too, that the human brain is a weird thing. It blocks things out sometimes to protect the person. In some cases, the human brain could create fractured personalities, allowing a soul ways to cope with overwhelming trauma. Kory didn’t think that was what had happened to her—she’d never had any bouts of missing time or anything strange like that—but she had wondered if maybe there was more to her story than even she could remember.

  The police had shared all the information they knew with the press and in the trial, and that was enough for Kory’s brain to rattle loose a lot of ugly things part of her wished she’d never remembered.

  But something was struggling inside, whether to get out or to be relived once more, she didn’t know. All she knew was she needed a little help.

  When she opened the door to Natalie’s office, the woman shook her hand. Kory wanted to hug her but knew it was probably inappropriate, even though she’d often felt like Natalie had saved her life—or her mind, at any rate. Natalie told her she looked good and was amazed at what a lovely young woman she turned out to be. And then they discussed the ugly money situation. Kory could make ends meet but knew she couldn’t afford two hundred a pop. Fortunately, Natalie asked her if she’d taken advantage of the new medical laws, and Kory said she had and discovered that Natalie’s services weren’t going to send her to the poorhouse.

  So then it was off to the inner office where Kory could once again face her demons.

  She smiled, because Natalie’s office hadn’t changed much since she’d last been there. She was sure there were details she’d forgotten that were different, but she was struck by a few things—the bookshelf on one wall, which still held several of the same books, many focusing on codependency; the desk, still piled high with files and papers, one little corner dedicated to a computer and the surface right in front of it clean, so she could tell it was a desk made of wood or something that imitated it quite well; the matching gray suede-like loveseats that Kory couldn’t remember being there before, but she knew there had at least been something similar a few years ago; and the opposite wall that Kory had always thought of as the “play wall” because there were a few board games, toys, puzzles, and other things Kory knew Natalie used when working with kids. In fact, Kory wondered if it was appropriate that she had asked Natalie to see her. She didn’t know if the woman specialized in children and teens, but then she reminded herself that Natalie had told her to call if she ever needed her. It made sense, really. Natalie, unlike a new therapist, knew Kory. Well, at least Kory hoped she remembered her. How awful would that be, having gone through all the shit she had with Natalie, to have the woman forget her? That would be almost unbearable.

  But her first words assured Kory that her former therapist remembered her just fine. “It’s been a while, Kory. I hope that means things have gone well since you left here.” Kory nodded. “You’d said you felt like you were ready to start dating, and a boy had asked you out. How’d that go?”

  Kory had to fish way back in her head. She’d gone through a lot of boys fairly quickly, not finding teenage relationships very satisfying. All the boys she’d dated had mostly just wanted sex—not that she’d been complaining. She’d been eager to explore her body and theirs too…and the more who asked, the less inclined she had been to seek anything more. She had friends—they were the ones who fulfilled her emotionally. She didn’t need any love bullshit from guys. Fortunately, they’d been happy to kiss her and feel her and fuck her without that crap.

  Stone was different, though, and she couldn’t wait to tell Natalie about him.

  For now, though, she answered her therapist’s question. She told her about the remainder of her high school years that she hadn’t known about. What she liked about Natalie was that she felt no judgment from the woman, and she didn’t spend a lot of time scribbling notes or recording their words, and that was what made her feel more like a friend who wanted to help. So she told Natalie about her carefree fucking days…and then got to the part with the guy who, frankly, had her guts in knots.

  “When I graduated, I wanted to get my nose pierced. I went to The Iron Maiden. You know that shop?”

  “I’ve seen it—on Main Street, right? Across the street from the pizza place?”

  “Yeah. Anyway, when I went there, I met this guy—Stone Bowman. He’s a hell of a tattoo artist.”

  “Has he done some your piercings?”

  “Actually, yeah, all of them. Anyway, I…have had a crush on him since then, and a few weeks ago, I asked him out on a date.” Natalie raised her eyebrows and smiled. “He accepted and we’ve, um, started dating for real.”

  Natalie nodded, a gesture Kory remembered from long ago. “How’s that going?”

  “It’s great. At first, I thought he was kind of a dick, because he’d say all these asshole things…but he’s just kind of a smart ass. But he’s, uh, pretty sweet, especially the more I get to know him. Anyway, we…” She sucked in a deep breath. As she got closer to where she’d have to tell Natalie how she’d freaked out, it was getting harder. It shouldn’t be, though. She should be able to do this. She’d told Natalie so much before and she just needed to power through and tell her the most important part. She swallowed. “When we first had sex, I kind of freaked out. Uh…you remember how I told you that Art used to torment me all the time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well…without going into the gruesome details…” Why was it so hard to tell her? Was it because the memory was difficult to get through or was it because she didn’t want to talk about a really intimate moment? “Uh…Stone was doing something to me…sexually…and all of a sudden, I could barely breathe. I was scared out of my mind. So I asked him to stop, and then it was like I could see Art in my mind. I guess I should back up a little. A couple of days before, Stone gave me my first tattoo.” She pulled up her sleeve so Natalie could see it. “And the tattoo gun reminded me of how Art was constantly fucking with me whenever mom wasn’t around…you know, before he moved forward.”

  “Do you think that’s what triggered the episode when you were getting intimate—the tattoo gun?”

  Kory let that idea run through her head. “I don’t know. I…don’t think so.”

  “Hmm. Have you tried to be intimate since that happened?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was it successful?”

  Kory’s mind rushed back to Stone trying again that morning after her shower in the bright light of his bedroom and felt warm inside. In spite of the distress she was feeling, thinking of Stone in any capacity but especially of his successful attempt helped her feel better. “Yes.”

  “Good.” Natalie shifted in her chair. “Have you talked with him about your past?”

  Kory frowned. “Not much.”

&nb
sp; “I know it probably feels awkward and it might feel too early. Don’t force it, but when you feel up to it, you might tell him a little. That way, if you wake up in the grips of a nightmare, he won’t be wondering what’s going on. You definitely want to wait until you think the time is right, but I think it would be prudent to start planning that.”

  Kory nodded. She was nowhere near ready to reveal all the darkness and hideousness of her past to Stone, but she thought maybe their relationship had progressed enough that she could shed a little light on a few things. She wanted to. She thought he would understand then how much she’d grown to trust him…and how important he was becoming to her.

  She’d just have to wait until the time was right.

  Chapter Sixteen

  THE TIME TO tell Stone came sooner than she’d expected. Kory spent the night with him that night—managing great sex without having any breakdowns—and had fallen asleep in his arms, but her midnight cries awakened herself, Stone, and the dog. There was no way to pretend everything was okay when she awoke everyone screaming and crying in the middle of the night.

  Yeah, another goddamned nightmare.

  She’d awakened herself hollering at a bad guy who was no longer any threat to her, but in her dream, he’d felt so real again, and she’d felt vulnerable and helpless. She’d been unable to move, to get away from him, and he’d begun doing unspeakable things to her…until she’d finally managed to pull herself awake with her screams.

  She sat up, feeling like she couldn’t breathe, and as soon as she was able to suck air into her lungs, tears started pouring from her eyes. She felt Stone’s arm around her shoulders then. “You okay?”

  She struggled to find her voice. “I don’t know.” He pulled her into his chest as she tried to calm down.

  “Did you have a nightmare?”

  She nodded her head. She remembered visiting with Natalie and worried then that Stone might think she was some kind of nutcase. She was, really, and she never would have thought it until all this shit had started resurfacing. What the fuck?