“It’s fine, thank you again.” She watched him nod abruptly as if he was nervous and took a sip. He was right, it was barely tepid, but having the cup in her hands kept them from shaking like a leaf. This seemed beyond unreal to finally see him again.
“I used to drink hot tea in the army for warmth and comfort,” he began and sat down opposite of her, removing his hat and laying it on the blanket. “That day that we met,” he started and cleared his throat nervously, pulling at his collar. “My pa dropped me off with the army and never looked back. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come back.”
“He dropped you off? You were eleven, if I remember right?” she bit out, trying not to choke on the sip she’d just taken. They’d been so very little then! He’d cast off his son for a simple error in judgement?
“Yes, and you were six – almost seven,” he quipped with a faint laugh. “I had thought it was so sassy of you to proclaim how old you were while hiding.”
“I was an awful child,” she admitted embarrassedly.
“I’m sure you weren’t.”
“Oh yes, my mother had fits that day and boxed my ears quite thoroughly when I asked about you,” she confided. “I’d barely had a chance to talk to you and suddenly you were gone. I had such curiosity about how you’d found my spot where I spied on the adults. I pretended to be so smart back then.”
“So, satisfy your curiosity now. Ask anything you want. No one’s here to yank you up by the ankles or tan my hide.”
“How did you find my spot?” she asked softly, thinking back on that fateful afternoon.
“That is the first thing you want to know?” he laughed suddenly, a warm, rich, timber to his voice. “Well, I was getting ready to run off and go fishing instead of attending church when I saw a pair of shoes stuck toe-first into the muddy banks. When they wriggled, I realized they were attached and crawled right in the mud to see who was hiding there.”
“Ahhh, I see.”
“No big secrets,” he teased. “Your feet simply stuck out too far and could be seen easily.”
“Yours most certainly did then too.”
“Definitely,” he agreed with a smile. Faye sat there for a moment watching him and looked away, unsure. There was an awkward silence between them that she wasn’t sure how to bridge.
“Tell me about the army. What did you see? When did you become a ranger?”
“Ah yes, from the very beginning, eh?” Gabriel nodded, and his smile disappeared. She realized then that it wasn’t going to be a pleasant memory for him.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”
“No, it’s not that. The army was tough. I was young, a dreamer. I do believe they broke me,” he confided. “In fact, I know they did. I spent many a night wishing for more of the necessities: blankets, better clothing, companionship. The men there were so much older than me and didn’t want a kid hanging around. It wasn’t until I was much older that I was able to hold my own in a fight or stand tall enough to keep out of trouble.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Me too. It changes a person. It makes them desperate for normalcy and comfort. I’ve wanted a family and peace in my life for so long, that I jumped at the chance for it - or what I thought the definition of what family was.”
“I can understand that. People crave what they are missing. I’m no stranger to that.”
“That is how I ended up married,” he finished quietly, looking away, and then glanced back at her. Faye tried to keep from asking about his dead wife. Did she really want to know about her?
“What do you crave? What’s missing for you?” he asked her suddenly, changing the conversation to her.
“To belong somewhere,” she replied honestly. “To be cherished. To be chosen for more.”
“A fair request, to be sure.”
“Tell me about her,” she said suddenly as it got quiet again, putting it back on him. She was curious to know more of him during the years that had passed. She’d been enamored with a dream and was now meeting the reality of who he’d grown to become. Father like son? She prayed not if he’d been abandoned.
“Faye, let me begin by saying that I’ll never regret my daughter…”
“I’d think less of you if you did!” she interrupted hotly. She knew only too well what that was like to have someone that was supposed to love and care for you, despise you instead. She’d never been treasured by her family that she recalled. Instead, she felt almost as alone as poor Gabriel that had been left behind.
“I married Anna because she seemed so full of life, so pretty, and it was like the sun was shining on me.”
“You loved her.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to, and it’s alright. She was Titania’s mother.”
“She was her mother, but I never loved her,” he told her. “I should have. I wanted to, but I think I was more in love with the idea of trying to have a normal life and home of my own instead of an army tent. Then I removed her from where she thrived, and she fizzled away.”
“Titania said she died from the flu.”
“She was gone long before that,” his voice soft, broken almost. “She hated being married to me and disliked the constant care that an infant took. I kept getting in trouble with my commanding officer because I couldn’t show up for patrols. Someone had to take care of the baby, my baby girl, and when I left them alone for the day- I wasn’t certain it would happen. Anna had been a lady of the night that followed the army. I thought I was rescuing her, but instead I took her from what she wanted and needed. I know now that was selfish and uncaring of what she wanted or needed. Titania came first and always will. That is why I left the army and joined the Rangers. To be able to take care of her and quite honestly, myself as well.”
Swallowing hard, she felt a pang of wistfulness wishing that her own family had felt like that: to want to put their child first. “As you should,” she agreed thickly.
“I should have never married her and…”
“And what?”
“I should have returned as I’d promised once to a young girl years ago. But if I had, then I wouldn’t have had my daughter.”
“She’s truly wonderful. I’m glad she has you in her life. Besides, I’m sure it was a childish promise made in jest all those years ago between us,” she told him softly, giving him an out, giving herself a chance to pull back unscathed if she needed to protect her childish dreams.
“I meant it, every word I said,” Gabriel said firmly, pulling something tiny out of his shirt pocket. Her heart hammered in her chest as she realized it was the little heart shaped rock she’d pressed in his hand as they’d hidden away. “I’ve kept this on me hidden away since you gave it to me. It was your promise to me and I’ve never forgotten.”
“You kept it?”
“I’d never let it go.”
Faye felt herself crumbling as she saw the resolution in his eyes. He meant it, every word of it. He’d not forgotten her but simply lost his way. This was the reason she’d waited for him. This was the boy she remembered with the devotion so crisp and intense in his eyes.
She reached in the top of her buttoned collar and carefully removed her tiny chain that held the frond ring. Several pieces were starting to break off the fragile, dried out piece of leaf, and yet she wore it every day. She kept it safe against her heart and prayed that it would hang on until he returned. Holding it up, she didn’t say a word. She couldn’t. Her throat was so tight with unshed tears.
“You kept it,” he whispered, swallowing hard and staring at her.
“It’s falling apart, but yes. It meant the world to me and got me through the bad times, feeling like I had someone on my side.”
“Same here.”
“I’m glad you returned so we could have this talk.”
“I’m glad to be back, but not just to talk. I am keeping my promise to you all those years ago. I meant it Faye. We’ll write our own story and start our lif
e together.”
“I’m not that same person,” she admitted sadly. “While I’d like to pick up where we left off, so much has happened. You have your daughter and your career. I have my teaching. If it’s meant to be, then God put you in my path for a reason.”
“I’m here now and He sure didn’t watch over me when I was younger.”
“Are you sure of it?”
“I can’t begin to describe how terrible it was.”
“But it shaped you to be who you are today.”
“Shaped? Do you mean broken, tortured, or abandoned me? Whatever you want to call it. The only solid good thing in my life was Titania and meeting you.”
“I never said any of this was easy, I just said that we were brought together for a reason. I don’t want to make a mistake, but rather keep faith knowing that if this is meant to be between us? Then it will happen as it should. I’m in no hurry to have you go through another upheaval in your life, or Titania’s – are you?” She knew it was a low blow, but the idea of suddenly jumping into a betrothal with a man she didn’t know, simply didn’t sit right. No matter how attracted she was to him!
“I will be patient, for us, but I am never leaving again. I meant it that day and I will have my little fairy bride to wife.”
“Someday,” she hedged.
“Someday,” he agreed firmly.
7
The next morning Faye awoke groggily to a knock at her front door. She’d stayed out for quite some time simply talking with Gabriel about their past and about how she’d found strength in her time at church. She’d gone as far as to invite him to sit in the pew with her, but only if he acted like they’d just met. This brought on an entirely different conversation. She explained to him the strict guidelines that she lived under as a teacher, which had him frowning a few times. She liked that he seemed to be quite receptive to how she was treated and portrayed.
The knock at the door became a bit more insistent, driving her out of bed. Throwing a wrapper around her and belting it at the waist, she removed the latch. Jerking the door open a few inches, she saw Titania’s smiling face. She’d forgotten about the pies and cookies!
“Good morning Miss Miller,” she cried out in a sing song voice. “We are here to make the stuff for the social.”
“We?”
“My daddy came too, but he said that it wasn’t proper for him to come in, so he’d stay and chop firewood for you. Is that true? You can’t let him in?”
“I’m not supposed to,” she said, peering out the front door and holding her wrapper tightly at the throat to hide any exposed skin. This qualified as unseemly, she mentally kicked herself. “Where is he at?”
“He took off behind the house with his axe. Daddy is good at splitting rails. You’ll be happy about it,” she announced firmly. “Can I come in? It’s chilly this morning.”
“Oh yes, yes,” Faye quickly rushed the young girl in. “Let me put a kettle on and get changed.”
“What kind of pies do we want to make today?”
“Pecan pie and maybe a cider cake?”
“Ohhh I’ve never had cider cake before. Can we make it first?”
“Did you not eat breakfast?” Faye asked, hearing her tummy grumble. She shook her head yes, making her laugh. “Let me get dressed and I will get us started.”
Stepping into her room, she firmly shut the door and dressed behind the three-panel separation she had in the corner. Instead of wearing her hair up in a bun, she simply braided it and let it fall down her back. If she had to run into town, then she’d pin it up. This was certainly more comfortable and matched Titania’s single braid.
Hearing the kettle, she rushed out of her room to remove it from the heat. Titania had made herself at home, sitting at the small table swinging her legs while she cracked pecans. Half made it into the bowl that she’d gotten off the shelf and half went into her mouth. Smiling, Faye just shook her head and smothered a laugh. The sweet little imp!
“I’m going to take your father a cup of coffee while you finish eating all the pecans that were supposed to be for the pie, young lady.”
“Oh,” she said and put the nutcracker down.
“No, keep going. I’m only teasing you, but we do need to make sure that we have at least four cups of pecans or we’ll need to make fewer pies. Do you know how much is in a cup?”
“Yes.”
“Ok good. Eat to your heart’s content as long as we have enough for the pies,” she said happily. “I’ll be right back.” Wrapping a thick shawl around her, she filled a large tin cup with the steaming coffee. Holding it carefully, she walked slowly around the house to make sure she didn’t spill any. She heard chopping off in the distance. As she walked forward, he appeared in her line of sight. He’d taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, hard at work in the cool morning air.
“Good morning,” she called out, not wanting to have him miss a swing with the large axe. She watched as he swung it and left it imbedded in the log of wood he was working on splitting. He dusted off his hands and walked over to where she stood. Goodness, he looked wonderful in the light of day. His grey eyes sparkled with happiness and she saw that he still had the same dimple on his cheek when he grinned. The golden-brown hair had darkened as he’d grown older, giving a devastating contrast to his tan skin.
“I could get used to this,” he teased her blatantly, accepting the cup of coffee. “Thank you.”
“Titania is a little excited about cooking, isn’t she?”
“When I got home last night, she’d gotten back up and told me about how she was going to make both pies and cookies with you today. A little excited is putting it mildly.”
“I bet you were tired when you got home.”
“I’m sure you were too,” he whispered intimately. “I really liked being able to talk to you and seeing those beautiful blue eyes in the light of day. It reminds me again how you are going to be mine someday.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that. What if she hears you?”
“What if she saw me kiss you good morning?” He whispered, leaning in towards her. Faye found herself standing still, waiting for the kiss instead of turning away or running. His lips gently pressed against hers. A tender, loving kiss that seemed to linger. He pressed his forehead to hers and sat there for a moment. She breathed in his scent, her hand on his chest. She could have sworn that she could feel his heart thumping under her palm. Her own heart matched the beat in intensity.
“Good morning,” he repeated as he backed away regretfully. His hand cupped her face longingly. He’d asked to kiss her goodnight last night and she’d declined. The temptation was too great and yet this morning- He didn’t ask but took – and she loved it.
“I’d better return inside before she eats all the pecans. Will you…“ Faye stopped suddenly, knowing that she shouldn’t ask. She’d broken so many rules already, that she was sure to be caught sooner or later. Maybe inviting him to have lunch with them wouldn’t be too terribly bad? She could say that it was a meeting with a parent about his daughter; after all, they were meeting all together – weren’t they?
“Will I what? Kiss you again? Most definitely.”
“No, no. Will you have lunch with us?”
“That might be frowned upon if someone was to come by,” he chided, but his eyes burned with an intensity that warmed her soul. “Instead, do you mind if she stays with you for the day? I will get some riding done and see if I can tell where these rustlers are hiding out at.”
“She’s always welcome.”
“But am I?” he said openly; the innocent question had her look at him with surprise. He seemed so confident, could it be that he wasn’t? Instead of saying the words, she put her hand on his cheek and nodded. Her eyes locked with his. His dark head leaned down yet again, kissing her. “I like being able to actually kiss you instead of wondering if I will ever see you again.”
“It’s been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”
“Yes
, and I don’t plan on waiting another twenty years. I want to take advantage of every moment and make up for any lost time that we could have had together.”
Faye headed back inside and packed him a small lunch in her own lunch pail that she carried to the school. Something small he could take with him while he was out on horseback.
Titania was thrilled to be spending the day with her. She chatted amicably the entire afternoon and enjoyed making the cookies more than Faye could have ever realized. The young girl was practically elbow deep in the large bowl and rolled the cookies, carefully pushing her thumb into the top of each one. When she realized that if she put two thumb prints and angled them, it made a heart. Each cookie from there on had a heart imbedded on it.
“Isn’t it cute?”
“It’s perfect. You are doing fantastic with all of these; it will be quite a treat at the social.”
“Are we supposed to bring something?” she said suddenly, freezing in place. “I don’t have anything for tomorrow.”
“You most certainly do!” Faye countered. “You have a whole bushel of cookies that you are bringing.”
“But I am just helping you make them.”
“Well, young lady, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I haven’t made one cookie yet. I’ve been working on the pies. So how about the cookies are yours to bring and I will say that I made the pies. So now, we both have something to bring. Sounds good?”
She nodded happily and went back to pushing her thumb in each round ball of dough. Faye watched her happily. This felt so warm between them, so right. To think she could have had a young girl like this of her own, made her yearn for her own child something fierce. But then again, she had twenty children that she took care of daily at the school. Titania was just wonderfully special and it was hard not to fall in love with her bright disposition and glowing reddish hair.
She rolled out the crust carefully and draped it over the two pie tins, praying that this crust did not crumble like the last one had. As she smoothed it, she smiled happily noting that it looked perfect. Pouring in the mixture, she set the pies to bake in the small stove. Washing her hands, she walked back in to see that Titania was now making butterflies in each cookie with four thumbprints. Chuckling, she set a small pot of stew to boil for dinner later this evening. She had no idea how long Gabriel would be and wanted to be prepared to feed the three of them, just in case.
Lawfully Betrothed Page 4
