Chapter 5
“Your poor father.” Nathan spoke mainly to break the silence as he weeded through traffic several hours later. Marcy had been uncharacteristically silent since leaving her parents’ home.
Marcy frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Your mother is going to kill him for thwarting her plans to learn all she could about me.” He chuckled, and she laughed softly.
“Oh, no, she won’t. She’ll pretend to be upset with him, and he’ll pretend to be sorry and they’ll both end up in each other’s arms before two minutes have passed,” she predicted with a smile.
“They love each other very much.”
“Mmm-hmm, they always have.” She sighed enviously. That was what she wanted—with him.
“They remind me of my parents.” He glanced at her long enough to see her nod in agreement. “You were very quiet tonight.”
“Complaining?” She smiled, glancing at his profile.
“No. Yes.” He shook his head in bafflement. “It’s just not like you to be so...subdued.”
“I was observing,” she confessed.
“Observing what?” He frowned, and she repressed an urge to smooth her fingers over his brow.
“The way you and my parents interacted,” she frankly admitted.
“Did you like what you saw?”
“Very much,” she replied. “It’s important to me that my parents like the man I choose.”
“And you think I’m that man?”
“You are.” She positively shook her head.
“What if that’s not what I want?” he carefully asked.
“It is.” Her confident statement elicited a slight smile from him. “You’re just reluctant to admit it.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“You’re a lawyer all right,” she said and chuckled. “Partly, I think it’s because you don’t want to acknowledge how important I am to you and partly because you think your work will come between us somehow,” she correctly surmised.
“Why did you say that about my work?” His tone changed from teasing to almost accusatory.
“It’s obvious. Your work has kept you away from your family for four years. You’re always jetting from one place to another. You’re probably afraid I won’t be able to handle the demands of your job.”
“You think you could?”
“Yes,” she simply informed.
He wanted to believe her, but how could he? She had no idea what his job really entailed or how dangerous it was. She’d have to be a saint to put up with the frequent absences, never-ending secrets and the crazy risks he undertook for the sake of a successful mission. He couldn’t and wouldn’t ask that of her, but if he was free...if he was free...
“What are you thinking?”
“Hmm?” He focused on her curious face. “Oh, just that I had a nice time tonight.”
“Don’t sound so surprised.” She laughed.
“I’m not.” He nearly groaned as her perfume wafted across him as she pushed her coat off her shoulders. Hell, he wished she would stop moving.
“Yes, you are.” She absently brushed her hair behind her ear. That thick, wavy, gorgeous hair he would love to bury his face in.
“Yes, I am,” he admitted with a smirk.
“You had a good time even though Mom was giving you the third degree?”
“Even with that,” he said, chuckling. “Your father is great.”
“And my mother?” A smile played about her lips.
“I like her,” he truthfully responded. When he looked at Margaret, he could see how gorgeous Marcy would still be at her age, and he absurdly saw himself beside her at that point in time.
“Really?” She interrupted his disturbing thoughts.
“Yes, I have nothing against your mother. I think she’s lovely.”
“But?”
“But I wish people would butt out of my personal life,” he relented.
“I agree totally.”
“You do?” He glanced at her briefly before returning his attention to the road.
“Mmm-hmm.” She nodded her head. “It’s so frustrating when people think they know what’s best for me more so than I do.”
“I know what you mean.” He shook his head in agreement and didn’t see her slight smile as she skillfully led him where she wanted him to go.
“They think we need to be pushed together because that’s what they want to see happen,” she continued, her dress rustling as she crossed her slender long legs that he would love to run his fingers down the length of. “But what about what we want?”
“Yeah, what about us?” he agreed. Then he added, “Maybe we don’t think we’re compatible.”
“Or maybe we just don’t need any outside interference,” she countered, sliding her hand toward his leg.
“I thought you were on my side?” He turned suspicious eyes on her briefly.
“I am totally on your side,” she whispered. “I don’t need any help to capture you, Nathan. I can do it all by myself and I intend to.” She then placed a hand on his thigh, causing the car to swerve slightly before he regained control.
“What are you doing?”
“Me?” She squeezed his thigh. “Nothing.”
“Marcy, stop touching me.” He nearly groaned.
“Why?” She leaned closer as her hand slid higher on his thigh. “Does it bother you?”
“No,” he lied.
“No?” She smiled as her fingers lightly outlined the top of his thigh before sliding inward.
“Yes!” He snapped as her hand moved higher ever so close to the painful bulge in his pants.
“As much as I would like to continue this, I’ll stop because getting into an accident is not part of my plans for us tonight,” she said as she slowly removed her hand.
“What are your plans?” His voice was tight as he fought for control.
“I won’t tell you, but I’ll show you,” she promised with a seductive smile that almost had him stopping the car and crushing his lips to hers.
“I know you will.” He managed a tight smile.
“Count on it,” she whispered into his ear and softly laughed as his fingers tightened on the wheel.
She slowly moved away from him, and they continued on in electric silence.
* * *
“Good night, Marcy.” Nathan turned to leave as she stepped inside her condo a short while later.
“Come in for coffee.”
“No, I should be going,” he declined. She reached out, took his hand and gently pulled him inside.
“I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.” She crossed her heart as she switched on a light.
It wasn’t her hands he was concerned about but rather his own. It was taking all his willpower even now not to grab her, fasten his arms around her alluring body and crush his mouth to hers.
“I don’t want any coffee, thank you.” He tried to decline gracefully, but she had already steered him over to the sofa.
“Nonsense. We could both use some.” She ignored his words. “Have a seat,” she offered, walking into the kitchen.
He watched her take off her coat and throw it over a chair. That shimmery blue dress that had been driving him mad all night was uncovered; it revealed very little skin with its long sleeves and high neckline that dipped in the back to reveal the skin of her shoulder blades and midback. There was a huge slit up one side that gave him a wonderful view of silk-clad legs as she walked into the spacious, open kitchen, stopping long enough to kick off her high-heeled shoes. Oh, Jesus, help me!
“Sit down,” she reiterated, and only then did he realize he was still standing, gawking at her.
He rigidly sat on the sofa but sti
ll had a wonderful view of her as she worked preparing coffee. She took out two mugs and a sack from the cabinet.
“Don’t go to any trouble for me,” he replied as she measured out coffee beans.
“I’m not. I don’t use instant coffee.” She poured water in the coffeemaker and ground the beans to dust before adding them.
“I see you didn’t pick up your mother’s lack of culinary skills.” He smiled as she moved effortlessly through the kitchen, eyes glancing over the sparkling stainless steel pots and pans that hung over the butcher block center island.
“No, Daddy taught me well.” She smiled at him. “I can cook almost anything. I’ll cook you dinner soon,” she promised and in a few minutes walked back into the living room carrying two black mugs of coffee.
He stood and took one of the mugs from her and then resumed his seat after she sat on the sofa, tucking her feet beneath her.
“You take it black, right?”
“Yes. Nice of you to notice.” He purposefully placed some distance between them.
“I notice everything about you Nathan, probably things you aren’t even aware of doing,” she promised as she sipped her coffee.
“Like what?” He took a drink of his coffee. “This is good.”
“Thanks.” She moved closer to him so that her thigh brushed against his. “For example, do you know you rub your chin when you’re frustrated?”
“I do not.” He frowned at her, and she laughed—soft and sexy.
“Oh, yes, you do. You did it several times tonight when Mom was grilling you,” she observed.
He took another sip of his coffee. His eyes furrowed in thought as he tried to digest the validity of her observation.
“What else do I do?”
“You scowl a lot.”
“I don’t scowl,” he contradicted, offended when he realized he was doing it now.
“Yes, you do,” she insisted. “But I like it. It makes you look dangerous—and so sexy.” She whispered the latter.
He swallowed hard, “Anything else?”
“You try not to touch me, but you always do.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m not touching you now,” he challenged. Though I wish to God I was. Lord, trying to keep his hands off this woman was killing him.
“Yes you are—with your eyes,” she softly contradicted. “They’re very expressive. Sometimes when you look at me it’s as if I’m transparent.”
“Marcy—” He was mesmerized by her voice, her words, simply by her.
“I want to share everything with you.”
“You’re too honest,” he complained, setting his mug down on the table. “One day it’s going to expose you too much.”
“I don’t know any other way to be except honest,” she countered. “And I don’t mind being exposed to you.”
“Maybe you should,” he darkly promised.
“I can’t hide anything from you, Nathan,” she willingly confessed.
He felt both blessed and cursed that she wanted him, and there was no denying he wanted her, but he had promised himself not to get involved while he worked with Black Ops. He had seen his share of team members’ relationships destroyed by the enormous subterfuge the job necessitated. He’d vowed to never burden a woman with the demands of his job, but how he wanted to give Marcy a chance to try.
“I rendered you speechless.” She smiled.
“No—” he refocused on her beautiful face “—I just...” He paused and asked a question that had been nagging him, “Marcy, what do you see in me?”
“It would take me all night to answer that fully,” she said and smiled. “Succinctly, I feel alive when I’m with you. I’m attracted to your soul.”
“My soul?” He echoed, intrigued and unnerved.
“Mmm-hmm.” She sipped her coffee before continuing. “I don’t want to give you a big head here.” She laughed and he joined her. “What draws me to you is your kindness, your love of family and your dedication to the people you care about and to your job. You want to make a difference in the world and you do.” She continued to smile into his surprised eyes.
“How do you know all that about me?”
“It’s there for anyone who knows where to look,” she simply stated.
“And you did?”
“I didn’t have to look. I just knew it,” she whispered. “When we first met, I felt a jolt—something I’ve never experienced before.” She paused trying to find the right words. “Something inside of me just...clicked into place.”
“I know,” he softly responded. He couldn’t have explained his reaction to meeting her any better than she just had.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“You felt it?”
“I did—I do, and I wish I didn’t.” he rubbed his chin and slowly stopped as he realized her earlier words had been correct. She tactfully pretended not to notice his actions.
“Why?” She didn’t understand why he fought against giving them a chance.
“I’m not someone you should become involved with.”
“Too late. I’m already involved with you.”
“Marcy—”
“Save your breath, Nathan. I can’t change the way I feel any more than you can.”
She was right about that. Lord knows he was trying, but he could no more stop wanting or needing her than he could stop breathing.
“Why hasn’t some man snapped you up?” he wondered aloud.
“I’m not some piece of meat on a plate to be devoured, Nathan. I won’t be snapped up by anyone. But I will give all that I have and am to the man that I choose,” she softly ended.
“As it should be.”
“As it will be,” she promised, making no mistake that he was that man.
“I should be going.” Though he said the words, he seemed incapable of acting on them.
“If you must,” she whispered, smiling as he continued to stare at her without moving.
She didn’t touch him as she had promised, but he, unable to bear any distance between them any longer, pulled her into his arms until she was sitting on his lap. He stared at her for endless seconds, memorizing every curve and line of her gorgeous face, trying to unlock the mystery of her and his feelings for her, and then unable to bear any more distance between them, his lips slid languidly over hers, tasting coffee and the sweet taste that was uniquely her. Her fingers curled around his neck; she sank and was pulled closer as he kissed her deeply, slowly, enjoying every sensation, taste and texture of her. His tongue investigated every crevice of her mouth before engaging in passionate warfare with her own.
Marcy sighed against Nathan’s dominant mouth. Every nerve ending in her body stood at attention, and she felt as though she would surely die at any second if he continued to kiss her like this and destruction was even more certain if he dared to stop.
“You’re dangerous,” he huskily responded, reluctantly releasing her clinging lips.
“No,” she disagreed, opening drugged eyes to stare into his equally affected ones. “What you feel for me is dangerous.”
“I should go,” he reiterated, sliding a hand down her satin-clad hip and back.
“Do you really want to?” Her fingers flexed at his nape.
“No,” he groaned, rubbing his lips softly against hers. It wasn’t fair that a woman should be this beautiful or fit so perfectly against him—as though that was where she had always belonged and always would be.
“But you’re going to,” she whispered. Whatever he was looking for, couldn’t he see she held it and would give it to him gladly?
“I have to,” he painfully decided.
“I could change your mind.” Her eyes bore into his, and they both silently acknowledged how true her asserti
on was.
“I can’t let you.” He released her and stood.
“Yet,” she agreed, also standing.
“Thanks for the coffee.” He walked over to the door and opened it when he really wanted to pull her back into his arms and devour her.
“I’m glad you came to dinner with me.” She laced her fingers together so that she wouldn’t touch him. He smiled understandingly at her actions.
“Good night.” He covered her hands with his briefly and then turned to leave.
“Kiss me again,” she softly ordered, stopping him.
He couldn’t resist her or his desire. Pulling her into his arms, he did as she asked and as he wanted. His mouth swooped down and captured hers, trying unsuccessfully to feed the gnawing hunger within for the woman in his arms. They kissed for endless, satisfying minutes during which time he silently debated picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom and finishing what he had started. He didn’t know how he gathered the strength to command his lips release hers, but they fortunately obeyed him.
“Sleep well,” he murmured, reluctantly releasing her.
“I won’t without you,” she responded.
God, he wished she would stop destroying him with her words, her eyes and her trusting heart.
“Neither will I.” He lightly fingered her petal-soft cheek.
“Dream of me,” she whispered as he ended contact with her and walked through the door without another word.
As she closed the door and he walked to the elevator, he feared he would have no other choice but to do as she instructed—for the rest of his life.
* * *
Nathan slowly awoke in the morning and brushed a hand over his tired eyes. He had spent a restless night having vividly erotic dreams about Marcy. He had gone to bed with her name on his lips and woke up the same way. If he didn’t know any better, he would say she had placed a curse on him; she had certainly put him under some sort of spell. No matter what he did or how hard he tried—and he had tried—he couldn’t stop thinking about her or wanting her.
The thought of leaving her as he knew he must very, very soon sickened him, but there was no way to avoid the inevitable; if he refused to deploy on a mission he was leading—something he would never do—he’d be arrested, ultimately court-martialed and no doubt receive a hefty prison sentence. He reached out and grabbed his phone from the nightstand, pressing a button to illuminate the face, which revealed it was only 5:32 a.m. He thought about going back to sleep, but what was the use? He wouldn’t rest, anyway; he would just keep thinking about and longing for her.
Our First Kiss Page 7
