“It’s just past midnight. You’ve been here for six hours.”
Knight shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I need to be ready once they let me see him. Thanks for coming,” he added in the end and squeezed Jake’s arm.
Jake groaned and leaned against the wall. “No, I’ll stay in case Beast calls you, and you need to go. Unless… you’re telling me to go.”
Knight frowned, surprised by this idea. “What—where did that even come from? Just told you I’m glad you’re here. Jeez, should I kiss you as a thank you, or something?”
Jake rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
Knight looked into Jake’s eyes for a long time, recognizing the same tension in his shoulders that he’d expressed during the training hours before. He wasn’t sure how to approach Jake about this, but in the end, Knight sat down in a plastic chair and invited Jake to join him.
“Everything’s fine?”
Jake took a deep breath and sat next to Knight. “I guess.”
“What does that even mean? Just spill it. Entertain me, Prospect,” grumbled Knight.
Jake’s frown deepened, and he glared at Knight. “Why don’t you let me suck you off anymore?”
Knight sat back, rolling that sentence in his head. “What? Since when is it my duty to let you suck my dick?”
“I guess it’s not,” Jake hissed, increasingly walled-off instead of letting Knight in on his problem.
Knight swallowed, certain that he wouldn’t get far with those kinds of questions. He needed to be brutally honest, even if it was uncomfortable. “Jake, are you in love with me, or something?”
Jake’s eyes went wide, and his face flushed. “I—no! It’s not like that at all! I just—I’m a prospect, I do whatever you need, and you don’t seem to need me anymore. But yeah, I’m fucking frustrated, because you don’t want to get head anymore, Beast is off-limits, Fox and Joker barely ever want me, Rev is practically straight, and I don’t think I can give Gray what he wants.”
Knight rubbed his chin, weirded out by Jake’s idea about his role in the club. “Jake. We fuck you and have you polish our boots, because you seem to enjoy that. It’s not in the job description. Hell, I never sucked anyone’s dick, and I wouldn’t have done it to get my patch. The point is for you to eventually become our equal. To get it on with hangarounds, maybe use a new prospect, if he’s willing. And even now, no one’s ever said you can’t just fuck around with someone from Grindr.”
“I kinda get it, but… I feel safe around you guys. Like I know my place. But it’s all gone to shit. We’re supposed to be a brotherhood. King’s been dead for months now, and it’s as if none of you care much that he’s gone. I…” Jake hugged himself and looked at the floor. “He was my first guy ever, and I miss him. He was a good prez, had his moods, but he was good to me. I was the one cleaning his blood off the fucking statue. Beast barely showed up to the funeral and had someone else make a speech. Is this how things are in the club? Everyone just looking to get a bigger piece of the cake?”
Well, shit.
Knight cleared his throat and put his hand on Jake’s nape, massaging it gently. To avoid talking of the greater issue, he turned to the most obvious topic. “Didn’t know he popped your cherry. Didn’t even brag. That’s nice of him, I guess.”
Jake leaned in to the touch. “He always seemed to have everything under control. People loved him. Mostly. I joined the club thinking he’d always be there. And then you… I mean, you know you’re hot. Of course I like giving you head.”
Knight smirked. “Of course you do. But don’t worry, there will be more fish in the sea. I’m sorry no one talked to you about King, but there is a reason no one mourns him much. You will know once you get your patch, Jake. I know as much as anyone that he could be kind and generous. He took me in as a kid. He did more for me than my own father, but that doesn’t change the other things he was under the surface. Do you understand?” Knight asked, as gently as he could, thinking of the bastard who wanted to kill his own son because of vanity.
Jake seemed to eat the words right of Knight’s lips. “Oh. I never thought that there could be another reason for how you guys acted about it…”
“Trust me. No matter what you might think, we do care about you. You are like a younger brother to all of us. Well, minus the putting our dicks in your holes thing, but you get what I’m saying, right?”
Jake bit back a smile and nodded. “It’s why I like the club so much. Whatever happens, there’s always respect at the core of it all. Even to me. I never feel like you guys are just being shit to me. I don’t get that from any other people outside the club.”
Knight cleared his throat, watching Jake more attentively. Wrapped up in his own issues, he did kind of forget about the problems Jake might have with the situation changing. “Yeah, but you can’t look for sex just inside the club. It’s a small pon—” Knight’s mind stopped in its tracks. “Wait, are you saying you don’t ever sleep with people who aren’t one of us?”
“It’s ‘cause you guys command such respect. No civilian can measure up to that. So I guess I’m a bit pissed off you’re always busy and don’t need me anymore. I know it’s not your fault, but... I’m horny.” Jake groaned in the end and put his face in his hands.
“And what can I do to help you out? Do a casting for a new suckee for you? One that commands respect? Tell me, Jake.”
Even Jake’s ears were getting red at this point. “Asshole. Just tell me if it’s ever gonna happen again between us or not, because the suspense is fucking with my head.”
Knight exhaled, slumping forward and resting his elbows on top of his knees. “It’s not because I don’t need you. Or because you suddenly got shit at blowjobs, you know?”
Jake looked up at him. “I know. ‘Cause I’m pretty fucking good at them, so why not?”
Knight massaged his eyeballs with his fingertips, feeling his tongue become dry as chipping wood. There was just one answer. He didn’t feel like it anymore. “I’m really focused on Elliot now.”
The silence that followed was grating every inch of Knight’s skin. He hated having to say that, but then again Jake deserved to know.
“Oh,” Jake said in the end with a childish pout. “Like… Beast and Laurent kind of focused?” The sly asshole started grinning. “Will you be proposing too?”
Knight pushed Jake back so hard the chair wobbled under him. “Very fucking funny,” Knight hissed, feeling heat in his cheeks.
Jake laughed for a while, but then let out a long sigh. “I’ll miss you.”
Knight swallowed, watching the blue eyes settle on him for the longest moment. He was uneasy from the way his throat tightened in reaction to Jake’s tender comment. “You know I’m not going anywhere. You can still blacken my boots.”
Jake laughed and wrapped his arms on his chest. “Only until I get patched in.” And yet the threat felt empty, since Jake always seemed so happy providing services to Knight.
“Mr. Mercier?” the nurse who’d scolded Knight before was approaching fast. “You may now see your cousin. But please be quiet. He’s still sleeping.”
Knight’s gaze darted to meet Jake’s, and he exhaled, unfocused as he stood up and followed her.
He dreaded to see the damage done to Elliot’s innocent face.
Chapter 27
Elliot’s head throbbed with a dull pain that was even more intense in his eye. It felt like swimming in a volcano that was about to erupt in his eye socket. A soft, regular beeping pulled him back to the edge of consciousness.
Wary of the pain, he slowly opened the eye that wasn’t feeling raw, only to be greeted by a blurry white light. Memories flooded back, soaking into Elliot’s aching brain with the latent fear. The loss of control. The sight of the thin blade coming closer with each split-second. The dull ache he was feeling now was nothing in comparison to the searing pain that had made him dry-heave on the cold floor before Knight came back.
Knight’s arms had carried Elliot with such ease. First to the car. Then into the hospital. And then everything went as blurry as the lamp above Elliot’s bed.
He opened the one eye wider when he realized Fane could be somewhere around, waiting with the promise of more suffering. But Elliot couldn’t sense him or see him anywhere. No one else was in the room either. Just him and the beeping of machines. Elliot`s heart sank at the thought of paying for all this treatment. He didn’t have insurance. He couldn’t even afford new shoes, let alone surgery.
The beeping sped up, and he curled his hands close to his chest, looking around the tidy space with green walls. On a small table close to the wall was a large bouquet of purple and white flowers. And a box of chocolates, as if he were suddenly transported to one of those picture-perfect TV show hospitals where he most certainly didn’t belong. It was a single room too, with its own bathroom and a chair which now hosted a pile of leather and long hair.
Elliot blinked, but frowning made him only ache more. He reached out toward him without thinking. “Knight?” His voice came out weirdly raspy, only making him realize how dry his throat was.
A mass of hair emerged from behind black leather when Knight raised his head, and the jacket that protected him from light folded into his lap. He blinked and blew air to get rid of the messy strands in his eyes before pulling the mane back with a careless gesture. His eyes came into focus the moment they settled on Elliot. Knight got up, leaving the jacket in the chair, and climbed onto the hospital bed, forcing Elliot to make room for him.
“Babe, I’m so sorry this happened. How are you feeling now?”
Elliot’s muscles were still achy and stiff when he shifted, but Knight’s presence never failed to make his heart flutter. “Like shit,” he muttered when it slowly dawned on him that he had in fact lost an eye, and that would never change.
Knight squeezed his eyes hard, only to open them wide and rub his thumb over Elliot’s cheek. His fingertips gently brushed against the heavy dressing that made Elliot’s face feel sweaty, but he remained otherwise still, just resting on his side by Elliot. “You want some drugs?”
Elliot winced, frowned, and then moaned at the pain of any movement to his face. “You have drugs?”
Knight groaned. “Not on me. But they had to treat you, and I guess we could get something nice from the nurse.”
“Ahh…” Elliot lay back with a sigh, running his fingers over Knight’s chest, so unbearably glad that he wasn’t alone. “I thought you had, you know, drugs-drugs.”
“Nah, I don’t use that shit anymore. Why?”
“It hurts. I want to forget it ever happened.” Elliot shifted closer and found peace in Knight’s scent. Nowhere felt as safe as in Knight’s arms.
The firm chest sagged next to Elliot, but the strong, warm arms that smelled of leather and masculine cologne closed around him, offering more protection than Elliot had ever received from anyone.
“I’m so fuckin sorry. I just didn’t think... he’d attack his host. You know, physically. And I didn’t notice the cane was still there.”
“He doesn’t feel my pain. And he won’t be the one living without an eye. I guess I’ll have to change the side of my bangs.” Elliot tried to smile, but it only made his face ache, so he gave up.
Knight kept silent for a moment so long Elliot’s throat got completely blocked by a choking sensation by the time Knight spoke. “You’d look mysterious in an eyepatch. Or, you know, we could get you a prosthetic eye.”
Elliot closed his eye, enjoying Knight’s warmth, more soothing than any painkillers could be. “I could get a blue one. Be a chimera.”
Knight’s laugh was a pleasant hum that vibrated down Elliot’s neck. “If that’s what you want.”
“What I want is for him to leave me alone. He’s like a tumor growing inside of me. What if he blinds me, Knight? I know he hasn’t appeared away from the club property yet, but I can feel him growing stronger every day. The exorcism didn’t work, and I understand you all tried your best. Maybe I just deserve him for the way I’ve idolized him all those years.”
Knight pushed himself up and frowned at Elliot. “The hell? I did loads of stupid shit when I was younger, but that doesn’t mean I deserve permanent consequences. So you were being dumb. Everyone is sometimes. He’s a fucking predator, and I’m not gonna let him have you!”
Elliot looked up at the man who’d somehow weaved himself into the fabric of his life. How did he even get here? How did Elliot end up possessed by a ghost, without an eye, and finding out that time travel was a thing? Maybe heartache and injury were a small price to pay for all that he was getting through Knight?
“Thank you,” was all he had in him now, so utterly grateful that he wasn’t on his own in this. That the darkness that threatened to swallow Elliot whole would disperse any time Knight walked into the room.
Knight swallowed, watching Elliot with such intensity it felt like his eyes alone were making Elliot’s skin hotter. “And... he can’t hear us when you’re off club grounds? He can’t force you to do anything? Is that how it works?”
“At the moment? No. He’s not here at all.” Elliot leaned in to enjoy a kiss from Knight, away from Fane’s nasty comments and his gaze. The privacy of this moment was such bliss that even the pain dulled down. “He can’t hear my thoughts, or know what’s being said here.”
Knight’s breath was warm against Elliot’s lips, and when their mouths pressed together, in the softest, most tender of caresses, the jolt of pleasure going through Elliot chased away the pain.
Knight’s hand settled on Elliot’s hip as they kissed and held him in place until they parted, all too soon. Elliot wanted to push for more, but when he met Knight’s gaze, which for once was completely serious, he closed his mouth and listened.
Knight cleared his throat. “I— if that’s how it is then I would understand if you decided not to come back.”
The hairs on Elliot’s forearms bristled and the machinery went wild when his heart sped up. “You want me to leave?”
“No! Of course not. But if he keeps abusing you and threatening you... I can’t imagine living like this. I just... don’t want anything bad to happen now that we know he won’t hesitate,” Knight said, and his gaze settled on Elliot’s missing eye.
Elliot clenched his fingers on the front of Knight’s T-shirt. “Don’t give up on me…” he whispered, feeling so pathetic he could hardly stand it.
Knight licked his lips, looking away. “I won’t. I just... I’m worried, babe. From Martin, I could protect you. But I can do nothing against Fane. Literally nothing. It’s making me crazy.”
Elliot feared going back to the clubhouse where the ghosts resided, and where Fane could wrestle him for power over his own body, but it was also where Knight lived, the only place where Knight could have an eye on him if Fane took over completely.
Elliot nuzzled the soft stubble on Knight’s cheek. “Do you worry he will force me to hurt you? If that’s it, then maybe I should stay away…” He would never forgive himself if Fane injured Knight. And something like that could happen within a split- second. Fane could make Elliot grab a fork and stab someone. Even if Knight didn’t die, Fane could repeat his attacks, since Knight wouldn’t fight Elliot.
Knight waved his hand in dismissal. “No way. If you stay, I’ll make sure everyone is safe. You, me, Laurent, and everyone else. If you want to stay, if you’re absolutely sure about this... please do,” he said in a quieter, softer tone and pressed his lips against the tip of Elliot’s nose. His scent drew Elliot in, until he was once again resting in the incredible safety of Knight’s arms.
“I don’t want to be away from you. I’m sorry if I can be too much sometimes. There must be a way to get rid of Fane, but we can’t work that out when I’m away from the clubhouse. I can stand his insults if you make sure my body is safe.”
Knight shook his head. “Stop apologizing. So you want me. You have the right to. You are honest. You are
so... raw when you’re with me. You don’t pretend you’re interested in what I say, because you are. I like that about you, Elliot. Give yourself more credit.”
Elliot took a deep breath and smiled softly, so that the expression wouldn’t pull on his tortured skin. “Why would I pretend? You’re the most interesting man I’ve ever met. I can listen to you for hours and still find out something new every time. I wish the circumstances were… less fucked up.”
Knight watched him intensely, as if he wanted to somehow tear his gaze through Elliot’s skin and see what was hidden beneath it. “You deserve to respect yourself, Elliot. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t have to.”
The words made Elliot so warm and tender inside he pressed his head under Knight’s jaw to hide his face. Any self-worth that he’d ever built up was as The Count, a smartass online persona of a man obsessed with a serial killer and knowledgeable about history. Never before Knight had Elliot bared himself to another person so much. Even his past boyfriends had just never been interested enough to ask questions about his life, and he didn’t want to bother them with his problems either, too afraid that they would leave if they considered him a nuisance.
And yet Knight was here, even after Elliot cut him, fought him, and created so much trouble. Knight had even given up his VP patch to keep Elliot safe. If Knight believed Elliot was worth it, then Elliot needed to believe so as well.
“So you think I should stand up to Fane when we go back?”
“Absolutely not. Don’t agitate that motherfucker, don’t argue with him. In short, don’t give him a reason to taunt you. Just go with whatever he says until we come up with a way to get rid of him. Okay? Just know that I will need to keep things from you, so that he doesn’t know any of our plans. Can you do that?” Knight asked softly and rubbed Elliot’s hand.
Elliot squeezed the warm fingers, overwhelmed by the care he was being offered. “Okay. I trust you.”
Knight’s shoulders relaxed, and he slowly rested his head on the pillow next to Elliot’s. “Good boy. This isn’t going to last forever. I always find a way out, and I will do so again. And then we can do whatever, even go on vacation together, so that we can unwind and forget it all ever happened.”
My Dark Knight (gay biker romance) (Kings of Hell MC Book 2) Page 34
