He grinned and teased the head of Elliot’s dick with his tongue before diving in and finally sucking on a bit of the length. It was silky smooth against his tongue, musky, salty, somewhat bitter, but his head exploded with arousal just from thinking of taking it deeper and making Elliot come.
Knight wasn’t submitting. He was pleasuring his partner, as a real man should, and if that happened to include a blowjob, then he had every right to indulge. The freshness and excitement of this breakthrough made his own cock throb with need, and he moaned around the hard length when Elliot made a shallow thrust with his hips.
Knight gave Elliot a little swat on the ass and wet his fingers, growing more aroused himself by the second. “Nasty boy. Who told you you could do that?” Knight asked a voice he didn’t recognize. His thoughts spun when he looked up at the deep flush on Elliot’s face and suckled around his cock, rhythmically moving his mouth and hand to bring off his man. There were few things he liked more than a lover trembling in his hands and openly showing their lust.
“I’m sorry!” Elliot whined, breathing heavily as his cock dripped flavor into Knight’s mouth.
“You need to learn your lesson,” Knight whispered, pulling his mouth off the tasty dick, only to dampen his middle finger, which he snuck up Elliot’s ass without any further ado. With Elliot’s body tensing like a string, Knight sucked him back in, more boldly now, all the way until the cockhead teased his throat, forcing Knight to pull back somewhat.
Elliot gave a moan of appreciation, and shifted, making his already snug asshole clench around Knight’s finger. If there was something Knight had learned in the months since they met, it was that Elliot loved penetration. Whether it was with fingers or a dick, Elliot went wild when his ass was being toyed with, so soon enough he’d be going feral and begging for Knight to take him.
He was starting the familiar mantra already.
“Oh, fuck!” Elliot writhed on the hook with hair hiding most of his face. “Do me like that, please.”
Knight licked the cock in front of him and murmured, “Yeah? That’s what you want? To just let me handle you the way I want? You’re such a dirty, nasty boy. I bet you’re gonna come all over me at this rate,” Knight said, not sure anymore whether he was titillating Elliot or himself.
“I will. I’m yours. Do whatever you want,” Elliot moaned, but he wasn’t nearly as submissive as his words suggested, riding Knight’s fingers and gently pushing his cock into Knight’s waiting mouth. He trembled in front of Knight like a ripe fruit waiting to be plucked.
Knight’s eyes shut as he accepted Elliot’s length into his mouth, sucking on it and playing with it with more intensity as he moved his lips in in the same rhythm as he was thrusting his finger inside Elliot’s tight, warm asshole. His pride evaporated. Any questions he might have had were of so little importance in the face of the sheer pleasure of tasting Elliot that he pushed on and on, intent on taking all of Elliot’s dick.
Elliot wasn’t even able to form any coherent words anymore, moaning instead, but the intense throbbing in his cock told Knight that he’d be coming any moment.
The immense satisfaction of having the first spurt of cum hit his palate exploded in Knight’s stomach. Arousal trickled down to his balls.
He swallowed the hot cum, but the second spurt came too early and drizzled down Knight’s chin and neck. He groaned, unsure whether he liked the taste, but he took it all anyway, oddly excited by drinking Elliot’s sperm. So he licked around his lips and wiped the remaining cum off his face with his forearm, so excited and hard he didn’t know yet how he wanted to finish.
“Fuck, Elliot...”
Elliot’s lips seemed so plump and red as he panted heavily with his eye trained on Knight. “Come up to me,” he pleaded, leaning down the few inches the hook allowed him to.
Knight pulled his finger out of Elliot’s warm body and stood up, seeking the pleading mouth and eager to be rewarded for his first try. His own dick was so hard it felt like it would fall off if he couldn’t come soon, and so he grabbed it by the base and nudged Elliot’s thigh as they kissed.
Elliot twisted to rub against it, like a cat against its owner, and his lips were just as eager. Too turned on to take his time with prepping Elliot’s ass, Knight decided to jerk off instead. Quick and easy, prodding against Elliot’s skin and enjoying the hungry kisses seasoned with the taste of Elliot’s spunk.
Pleasure pushed him farther against Elliot, and when he came, it was against that soft, warm skin, and with his body pressed tightly against Elliot’s. Lightheadedness had Knight resting his cheek against Elliot’s shoulder and slowly putting his arms around the slim body encased in the straitjacket that was likely becoming sweltering.
“That was... hot,” whispered Knight, and Elliot nodded against him without uttering a word.
Minutes passed in the pleasant silence until eventually Knight trusted himself to move. All he wanted was his bed and Elliot lying next to him. He poked Elliot’s head with his and stole a kiss, once more bringing their bodies closer.
Elliot’s dark gaze finally focused on Knight again. So much mystery still hid inside of Elliot, and it felt as if that eye was the doorway into Elliot’s heart. If only Knight looked long enough, he’d understand Elliot completely.
“I love you so, so much,” Elliot choked out as if it was a sad thing.
Knight stopped breathing. With the bitter taste of Elliot’s cum still lingering in his mouth he didn’t expect to hear something like this. Not the words—those he’d heard often enough, but the tone they were delivered in. It wasn’t a declaration based on how good the sex had been. It was real and so raw it was choking him up.
Elliot took a deep breath and hung his head, pressing his forehead against Knight’s shoulder, as if he wished to hide his face.
Knight swallowed, hugging Elliot and stroking the soft hair at the back of his neck. His heart was furiously beating in his chest. It got so fast at some point that he was no longer sure if he was excited or afraid. “I take it you enjoyed that. My first, so be gentle with reviews.”
“It was perfect,” Elliot whispered, pressing against Knight as if he wanted to melt into his skin. “You are perfect. And every time we’re close I love you more.” Elliot’s breath trembled, and the wetness on Knight’s skin where Elliot’s face was had Knight’s nerves on high alert.
He quickly detached Elliot from the hook and gently urged him to the bed. “Are you okay? Did that fucker tell you something mean again?” hissed Knight, already wishing he could give Fane a body, just so that he could kill him again.
“No, it’s all my fault.” Elliot shook his head so that his bangs would cover his eye. “I don’t want to spoil this moment for you, but it’s hit me so hard, and I can’t help it anymore.”
Knight sighed and helped Elliot lie down before climbing in with him. He slid his arm under Elliot’s neck and kissed his forehead. “But babe, you haven’t spoiled anything. It’s all good.”
Despite tears that were slowly making Knight’s body hair bristle, Elliot rolled closer. “It’s not. I’m spoiling it all because I’m not like you. I can’t share you. This is so messed up. I knew this. But I couldn’t help myself, and now it hurts even more. I love you too much already, and if I even survive until next month, it will kill me when you decide you want to fuck someone else.”
Knight’s body slumped, and he slowly rolled to his back, staring at the ceiling while Elliot’s head still weighed down his bicep. He rubbed his chest where it felt too tight but didn’t dare look at Elliot, suddenly intimidated by the weight of what he’d just heard. “Huh.”
“I’m sorry,” Elliot whispered in a tiny voice that trembled as if he were holding back a sob. “I always do this. I always let guys have what they want and push aside what I want. I can’t anymore. I’m not happy to share you, and that sucks so bad, because you told me that’s not the way you do things.”
Knight swallowed, completely stiff all over. “So what? You
want me to change? To stop sleeping with girls?” he asked with more force than he intended.
Even the softness of the bed now seemed to prod at Knight with sharp blades, as if the whole world was against him.
“I want you for myself only, but I can’t force you. I don’t want to force you. But I can’t bend to something I don’t want either. I always have, and it’s always got me to a dead end. You told me to respect myself, and this arrangement won’t make me happy no matter how much love I have to give. No matter how good the sex is, or how much I know you care. We still want different things.” Elliot wouldn’t look at him, curled up in Knight’s embrace instead.
Knight exhaled, and each intake of breath felt as if he were carrying a tonne on top of his chest. “Yeah. You... you should respect yourself. I did say that. Pity you didn’t think of this sooner,” he said, physically unable to keep bitterness out of his voice. Didn’t he have the right to be angry? He’d grown fond of Elliot. He was imagining him as a permanent fixture of club life already. Would have been nice to know what Elliot thought of all this before Knight chose to suck his dick.
Elliot moved away, turning his back on Knight despite still being trapped in the straitjacket. He couldn’t even pull his pants up without Knight’s help. “Because I thought I could just go with it. I don’t even know how we got back together in the first place. I told you I wanted it all or nothing, and then we… what? Fell back into things.”
Knight rubbed his face. “So this is an ultimatum? Do I understand this right? It’s either monogamy or we’re done?”
Elliot curled his shoulders. “I’m not trying to blackmail you! Aren’t you giving me an ultimatum too?” He glanced at Knight with his reddened eye. “Aren’t you saying that we’re either sharing, or we’re done? I know I can’t change you, and that’s what’s breaking my heart.”
Knight pushed his fists into his eye sockets and let out a heavy groan. “Well, excuse my fucking attitude, but I never planned to kiss a guy, or date a guy, or give one a blowjob. You kinda chose a very bad moment for this.”
“I can’t choose right around you. I want you so much I disregard everything else, but I’ve been down this path so many times. I’m so, so sorry Knight. I should have known sooner. I should have told you I wasn’t happy with this.”
Knight raised his hands toward the ceiling and ended up dropping them to the bed on either side of him. This was not how he’d imagined the night of his reunion with Elliot after the stay in hospital.
“High time we untangled you from your other toxic relationship,” he said in the end, increasingly deflated.
Elliot spun around as fast as he could in the constricting clothes. “You’re nothing like him. Don’t say that. We’d be perfect together if our needs matched. But it wouldn’t be fair of me to block you from what you want. You’re not toxic. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“Well, I can’t give you what you want. This makes me completely useless as your boyfriend. Let’s not lie to ourselves here,” Knight said, more uncomfortable by the second. His body was becoming hot and sluggish, and his stomach cramped as if he was about to be physically ill.
Elliot went silent, but instead of rolling away again, he crawled closer and put his head on Knight’s chest, making it even harder for Knight to breathe. Still, Knight wouldn’t push him away.
This was the worst.
Elliot was crying, and Knight could do nothing about the reason for it, because he was the reason. He couldn’t change his whole identity. He reached out to the nightstand and took a paper tissue, which he used to dry Elliot’s cheek. The heavy feeling in his chest was expanding, but he was a big boy. He could handle it.
“Stop it. At least we finally know where we stand on this.”
Elliot nodded vigorously, but from the look of it, he was biting the inside of his cheek. Knight exhaled. He wanted to kiss it all better. To hug Elliot and maybe sink into the tight heat of his body later, but he couldn’t do any of that anymore. He couldn’t pull Elliot into sex if he respected his decision. And he did, no matter how unhappy it made him.
“I just... nothing will really change, you know? You can still live in the clubhouse. And I will help you out with Fane. That’s a promise.”
Elliot nodded again and took a deep breath as if he had been drowning and was only now coming up for air. “I will never thank you enough, Knight. He scares me.” He clenched his eye, and Knight could just about imagine Fane hurling insults at the already crushed Elliot, so fragile in a world that treated him with no kindness.
“I know. It won’t take long now,” Knight said and rolled Elliot to his side, spooning him from behind. The soft texture of the dark hair tickled Knight’s mouth, but he didn’t pull away and just lay in place, happy to provide Elliot with some comfort. They were far too comfortable with each other to be bothered by nakedness, even after this disaster of a conversation, but Knight hated this new shift in his reality.
Elliot’s back fit so snugly against his chest as they lay together in silence. How would Knight live without this? How would he live when someone else took his place in Elliot’s bed?
By the time Elliot’s breathing slowed down and became shallow, Knight was done with agonizing. There were things that needed to be done, so why waste energy on others that couldn’t be changed?
He whispered Elliot’s name, slowly raising himself on one elbow, but when Elliot didn’t respond, Knight took a second to look at the pale, serene face of the only man who’d ever managed to pull on Knight’s heartstrings. It didn’t matter that Knight couldn’t be what Elliot needed—he would get over himself eventually—because that didn’t change the fact that Elliot was defenseless, vulnerable, and in need of Knight’s help. And Knight would do whatever he could to give Elliot a chance at a normal life. He wanted to see Elliot happy, even if he couldn’t be the reason for him smiling every day.
After pressing a soft kiss to Elliot’s temple he rolled away, still watching Elliot’s bare legs on the bed as he approached his jeans. The cell phone was easy enough to find, and he contemplated the boy in his bed even as he chose Beast’s number for the message he was about to write.
Chapter 30
“If anything weird happens, just call me, all right? And don’t take the straitjacket off, unless it’s absolutely necessary,” Knight said, adjusting the pillows laid out behind Elliot’s back.
Gray rubbed his chin, watching Elliot with his pale, neutral gaze. He sat on a chair close to the bed alongside Jake, who fidgeted in the seat, constantly changing position as if there were fleas in his clothes.
“It’s okay, we’ll keep him in the straitjacket,” Gray said calmly.
Elliot’s gaze followed Knight’s every move. “Will you be long?”
Knight licked his lips, so captivated by his black eye that for a moment he lost the plot. “Can’t say, really. If you need something, I’m sure the guys will help you out. You could all watch TV, or something. I have this new documentary series about the House of Bourbon. Could be up your street,” he said and opened a drawer, pulling out the DVD box set.
Jake moaned and put his face in his hands, but Elliot smiled even though his shoulders remained slouched. He’d been trying to put up a facade after what had happened between them, and it was painfully obvious.
“You didn’t tell me you got it in the end.”
Gray shrugged. “We’ll find something to do.”
Knight turned to his friends. “Part three could be interesting to all of you. There’s a lot about Louis XIV’s brother, and he was gay.”
“Oh, come on, Knight. This has no relevance to us. Not everyone dreams of living their life in the seventeenth century, wearing heels and wigs,” Gray said, pulling out an e-reader from a backpack he’d come with.
Knight took a deep breath. “Right. Just watch out for him.”
“We will keep your little kitten safe,” Jake said with a wide grin, which only reminded Knight that Elliot was no longer his. H
e’d barely even registered the fact that he and Elliot had been in fact together before reality slapped him in the face earlier that afternoon.
“Uh-huh.”
Elliot looked away, also unwilling to correct Jake.
Gray raised his eyebrows. “Knight, if you need to go, then go.”
“I was just about to. Isn’t this my home in the first place?” Knight growled and gave Elliot’s shoulder a gentle pat, just wanting to have one more look at him before they parted.
Elliot wouldn’t look up, but didn’t shy away from the touch either.
It was high time to go. Beast was already waiting for Knight with Laurent, and Knight didn’t want to tax their patience any further. He left, no matter how strong the pull to go back and hug Elliot again.
Galloping down the wooden staircase, he tried hard not to think about King’s eyes following him from his permanent post on the gargoyle statue. This whole ghost business was freaking him out far more than the fact that there was some kind of weird horned demon lurking around the property. And poor Elliot was forced to deal with this kind of shit every day, all the time. Not for much longer, if Knight had anything to say about it.
He followed the shortest way to Beast’s apartment and let himself in, entering the familiar living room, with Laurent’s gaze—so dark and reminiscent of Elliot’s— greeting him from the sofa.
Laurent rose without a smile and walked up to a tall wood-framed mirror. “He’s here!” he yelled into the corridor. The glass surface had a dimmed quality to it, like all mirrors in the club, but now that Knight was about to face what was behind the discoloration, he was starting to feel uneasy.
Knight shifted his weight. “Pretty. Mid-nineteenth century or a fake?” he asked, rubbing the ornamental pattern along the frame. Despite his earlier thoughts, he had the sense of being watched by someone he could not see in return, and it was unnerving to say the least.
My Dark Knight (gay biker romance) (Kings of Hell MC Book 2) Page 38
