“Looks good. So, you’re finally doing it, huh?”
“Yeah. I’ve got a guy working for me now, full time, so I can concentrate on getting this done. Oh, speak of the devil.” He saw Ben slowing to turn into the drive and waved to call him over. Ben parked next to Ross’s truck and walked over to join the other men.
“Hey Ben, this is Ross O’Connor. Ross, this is Ben Loomis.”
“Hi Ross, good to meet you,” Ben put his hand out and Ross shook it, a little longer than Thom was comfortable with.
“Well, hello Ben. I am very pleased to meet you.”
“Ross…” Thom’s voice had a warning tone to it.
“What?” Ross turned innocent blue eyes to Thom, still not releasing Ben’s hand. Ben looked back and forth between the other two men.
“You know what, Ross. This is not the time.”
“Oh? Already staking a claim? Calling dibs?” Ross looked at Thom, one eyebrow raised in a question.
“What are y’all talking about?” Ben asked, finally pulling his hand from Ross’s grasp. Thom kept glaring at Ross, but Ross just grinned and looked back to Ben.
“So, Ben Loomis, eh? Chuck’s nephew?”
Ben nodded. “That’s right.”
“Ross. Don’t.” Thom was not at all comfortable with where this seemed to be going.
Ross finally turned his attention back to Thom. “You can’t have it both ways, Thom.”
“Leave. It.” He did not want to have this conversation in front of Ben. He should have known better than to introduce them. He should have known that Ross would take one look at Ben and think ‘fresh meat’. Ross was a player, and Thom didn’t want him anywhere near Ben.
Ross just grinned that shit-eating grin of his and winked at Thom. “I’ll get a bid drawn up for you in the next few days, Thom. Glad to see you’re finally going for it. Ben,” he ran a hand down Ben’s arm as he passed him on the way to his truck, “see you around, okay?”
“What the hell was that?” Ben asked as he and Thom climbed into the truck for the drive up to the house.
“That,” Thom replied, “was Ross O’Connor. If he wasn’t one of the best, if not the best, builders in the area I wouldn’t have called him.”
“No, I mean, what was going on with the two of you? And was he coming on to me? Because seriously? Talk about bold.”
Thom was silent, his jaw set as he stared through the windshield.
“Thom?”
“Yeah, he was coming on to you.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing. You have to admire his confidence, don’t you?” He glanced over at Thom, who just looked pissed off.
“No. The man’s a menace.”
“Sorry. Did he make you uncomfortable? I mean, the flirting and all?”
“No.”
“I got the impression there was a conversation going on that I missed half of?”
“Leave it, Ben,” Thom grated. He jumped out of the truck before Ben even cut the engine off. Ben hopped out, grabbing a bag of groceries from the back.
“Aren’t you going to help me bring this stuff in?” he called. Thom whirled and came back, grabbing a couple of bags and heading towards the back door. Ben shook his head and followed his boss inside.
* * *
Ben didn’t know what to make of Thom’s reaction to Ross. It seemed like maybe the men knew each other, but it also seemed like Ross made Thom uncomfortable. Maybe Thom was uncomfortable with Ross’s blatant flirting. He didn’t think Thom was homophobic, but he didn’t want Thom to be uncomfortable. And he sure didn’t want Thom freaking out in case he figured out that Ben was starting to develop feelings for him.
“Look, about Ross…” Ben started.
Thom just grunted.
“Was it his flirting that made you uncomfortable?”
“Just,” Thom was taking groceries out of bags and sitting them on the table, “just, stay away from him, okay? He’s not someone you should really get involved with.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jesus, can’t you just take my word for it?”
“Ah… no. I’m not saying I’m interested, but that’s the first bit of attention I’ve gotten since I got to town, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered. Does that bother you?”
Thom started putting the groceries away, his movements sharp and jerky. “He’s a… well, he’s used to getting his way, right? And he’s the kind of guy who… who doesn’t like to take no for an answer.”
“He what? How would you know?”
Thom wouldn’t meet his eyes, just kept putting groceries away. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“How would you know, Thom?” Ben repeated. And then it dawned on him. “Oh. My. God. I’m fucking blind. You know because you know.”
Thom just kept putting groceries away, saying nothing. Two could play that game, so Ben just leaned back against the counter, watching Thom until the groceries were all gone and Thom was looking around the kitchen for something else to keep him occupied.
“Are you still involved with him?” Ben finally asked.
“I was never involved with him,” Thom said.
“You were something with him, I can tell by the way you’re acting. You’re gay, aren’t you? Or at least not completely straight. I’m right, aren’t I?”
Thom crossed his arms across his chest, his lips pressed in a thin line, and finally nodded.
“I don’t know whether to be pissed off or not right now.”
“It’s not common knowledge. Your uncle doesn’t know. A few people in town do. Ross, obviously,” Thom shrugged. “I don’t go out much, so it’s a non-issue.”
“It’s not a non-issue to me. It sure would have been nice to know. I would have appreciated it if you’d been honest with me, especially considering why I’m here.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I guess I’ve been here alone so long that I’m not used to opening up.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I can understand that. So, what about Ross?”
The pinched look was back on Thom’s face, “I really, really do not want to talk about Ross.”
“Jesus. Did he hurt you?”
“No. Really, no. He’s just relentless.”
“Then maybe I’ll ask Ross. He looked like he wouldn’t mind getting together for a chat.”
“No! I mean, fine. It’s not something I’m proud of, but from time to time, after I came home from college, I’d hook up with Ross. It was never more than that, and after a few times I realized that we weren’t, um, compatible. Nothing’s happened for years, but he just never gives up.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Just like that?”
Ben shrugged. “Yeah. All I wanted was a straight answer. You gave it to me. I’d say that’s enough sharing for one day. You go finish whatever you need to do and I’ll get dinner started.”
Ben watched as Thom left the room and headed towards his office. So Thom was gay – or bi at least. That was the best news he’d had in weeks. Now he just had to figure out what he was going to do about it.
Chapter 5
“So,” Ben started up one evening as they were enjoying their post-dinner beer on the porch, “there’s a homebrewing supply shop in town. I was thinking I’d check it out on my next grocery run.”
“There is? I had no idea.”
“Really? It is Oregon, after all. Doesn’t everyone in Oregon drink craft beer? Or brew their own?”
“But this is wine country!”
Ben laughed. “It’s beer country, too. Think about it. The optimal growing conditions for hops are not all that different than for growing grapes. Hop growing is booming right here in the Willamette Valley. Ask Uncle Chuck – I’ll bet he knows a lot of hop farmers.”
“It never even occurred to me.”
“Anyway, I was thinking of checking out the shop, maybe getting some basic equipment and supplies. Do you think I could use some space in the base
ment for storage and fermentation? I don’t need much room.”
Thom pictured the basement in his mind – it was only partially finished, with a laundry room in one corner and the rest being mostly open space with concrete block walls. He didn’t use it for much other than a bit of storage and a few wine racks along one wall. “Sure. Take whatever space you need, just leave a few feet free in front of the wine racks.”
“Great! We can make several batches, experiment with different styles. I’ve never tried lagering – maybe I can find an old ‘fridge and give that a go.”
“We?”
“Well, yeah. Remember, I told you I’d teach you about homebrewing?”
Thom had forgotten, but Ben’s enthusiasm was irresistible, so Thom found himself agreeing. “Okay, but will we have time?”
“Sure. We shouldn’t have any problem working around the vineyard schedule. It’s like, well, it’s like cooking, I guess. And then there’s a lot of waiting. It’s all a matter of timing, but since we’re pretty much always here, there shouldn’t be any problem.”
“What kind of timing?”
“Well, very basically, after you make the wort, it has to sit. And if you’re doing two-stage fermentation you have to transfer the wort to another container at a certain point. And then you have to bottle it at another point. You just have to plan ahead to make sure you have the right time windows to get it done. But like I said, we shouldn’t have a problem. We just need to make sure we’re not too busy with harvest or something else.”
“Harvest can be hard to predict sometimes – it all depends on the weather.” Thom said. Ben nodded. “But, we can probably manage. I just might not be there for all the steps all the time.”
“Not a problem. This is going to be fun! If you enjoy this,” Ben lifted his bottle and swirled it a little, “you are going to love making your own.”
“Okay, you’ve sold me.” Thom settled back in his chair and closed his eyes. He had been feeling more comfortable with Ben lately. Rather than feeling more awkward, as he had feared, coming out to Ben had allowed him to relax and be himself. Now the only secret he had was his growing attraction to the younger man. But he was an adult – he’d had plenty of crushes over the years that had gone nowhere and had done just fine. Of course, he’d never had to work closely with any of those other men – let alone live with them. There was just one thing he wanted to know. He’d been thinking about it since they met, and for some reason introducing Ben to Ross had brought the question back to the front of his mind.
After a few minutes he opened his eyes, turning to see Ben gazing over the fields with a little smile – not big enough to bring out the dimple in his cheek, but Thom could tell he must be thinking happy thoughts. “Ben…” he started.
“Yeah?” Ben turned to face Thom, still smiling and his eyes doing that squinty thing they did when he was thinking hard about something.
Thom decided his question could wait. They’d had a moment, and Thom didn’t want to bring the other man down, because what he wanted to know really was none of his business. No matter how well he felt he had come to know Ben, he had no idea how Bed would react to his prying.
“Sorry, forgot what I was going to say.” Ben smiled – with the dimple this time – and turned back to his study of the vineyard beyond the porch rail. Thom sighed and closed his eyes again so he wouldn’t stare at Ben’s profile, burnished gold by the setting sun.
* * *
Thom finally got his courage up a couple of days later over breakfast. “Can I ask you a personal question?” He asked as he chased the last bit of egg around his plate with his fork.
Ben looked up from the toast he was buttering. “I guess, as long as I don’t have to answer.”
“Fair enough,” Thom nodded. “I was just wondering, have been wondering, about your dad.”
“My dad?”
“I was just. Well, I know you’ve fallen out with your mother, so I just wondered about your dad.”
“Oh, well. I don’t know, to be honest.”
“I’m sorry, I know I’m prying. I just thought, maybe if he was around,” Thom shrugged, “maybe he’d be okay with you. Support you or…”
“Yeah, I get it. It’s okay – it’s no big deal. I just never knew him. After he left, I guess my mom was really bitter. She went back to her maiden name and had my name changed too. I was still pretty little, so I don’t remember anything about him.”
“Do you ever wonder?”
“Sometimes. But then I think, if he was worth knowing, would he have left us? He’s never tried to contact me, so maybe I’m better off without him.”
“Maybe Chuck –“
Ben stood, cutting Thom off. “I need to get to work. Sorry, I’ll talk to you later.” He put his plate in the sink and practically ran out the back door, grabbing his hat and jamming it onto his head as he went through the mudroom.
Thom sighed and started cleaning up the breakfast dishes. He’d pissed Ben off, but he felt like it was a question that needed asking. He knew Ben’s mother’s rejection had hurt the younger man. Chuck and his family had been supportive and caring, but he just had a feeling that knowing his father, or at least knowing about him, might be a good thing for Ben. Nothing Thom had heard about Ben’s mother sat well with him, although she must not be all bad to have raised a fine young man like Ben. But if she had always been ‘difficult’, maybe Ben’s dad had left for a good reason. Maybe he hadn’t been able to take Ben. There was no way of knowing without prying even further, and Thom figured he’d done enough of that for now.
* * *
Ben forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing. He was trimming new growth at the base of the vines and he didn’t want his frustration leading to mistakes. Did he think about his dad? Of course he thought about him! Wondered what he was like, and why he left. He’d stopped asking when he was a kid because his mom would always get angry when he did. For a long time he had wondered if it was something about him, because that’s what kids did, wasn’t it? But as he got older he understood that it had to have been something between his parents. For a while he had wondered whether his dad was a criminal, in prison for some heinous acts and his mother had changed their names to avoid the scandal.
Over time, though, as Ben watched his mother grow more and more zealous in her fundamentalist church and more stridently vocal about the evils of “the gays”, he started to wonder if maybe the man just hadn’t been able to live with the bat-shit crazy. But why had he left Ben, then? Why wouldn’t he take his kid out of a bad situation?
Looking back on it, he’d been pretty stupid to fool around with Danny at his mother’s house. He should have known the risk of getting caught, and that the consequences would be extreme. Maybe that’s why he did it, though? Maybe he had wanted to get caught – to get it all out there on the table. To shove it right in her face so she couldn’t look away or pretend she hadn’t understood what he was trying to say. That sure worked, didn’t it?
Ben sighed and moved to the next vine. This was the silver lining, though. If the whole fiasco hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t be here, and he liked it here. He felt like he was doing good work and learning a lot. He was getting to know his Uncle Chuck and his aunt and cousins. Most of all, he was glad he’d met Thom. There was an age difference, but not enough to matter to Ben – ten years at the most, he figured.
Thom hadn’t given any real indication that he was interested in Ben, or attracted to him, but sometimes Ben thought he’d caught Thom looking. Sometimes Thom looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, maybe even shy, and Ben though he might be getting to the older man. He wasn’t sure what to do about it, though. He spent the days outdoors, getting dirty in the vineyard. It wasn’t like he could put on his tightest jeans and spike up his hair and wiggle his ass in Thom’s direction without looking like a complete idiot. How did you give a guy a come hither vibe when you both spent all day sweating in the dirt, crunching numbers in the office, and if you were lucky, gett
ing 30 minutes to kick back and drink a beer before you had to drag yourself off to your solitary bed before you fell asleep on the porch? Maybe after the harvest he’d be able to do something about the situation – Thom had said they’d have more free time then.
And speaking of situations, what about his father, anyway? He’d been hard on Thom. He knew Thom was trying to help. Maybe he was right, maybe knowing would make one less thing for him to wonder and worry about. Maybe if he knew more about his dad, and why he had left, he would understand more about his mom. He sighed, and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket before he could change his mind. Uncle Chuck answered on the third ring.
“’Ello?”
“Hey, Uncle Chuck,” he took a deep breath, “I wanted to ask you about my dad.”
* * *
Ben headed back to the house at lunchtime. He hadn’t seen or heard from Thom all morning, but that wasn’t really unusual, since they often worked separately even when they were both out in the vineyard. Thom was in the kitchen, spreading mustard on bread for sandwiches. Ben joined him at the counter and squeezed his shoulder.
“Hey,” Ben said.
“Hey. Everything okay out there?”
“Yeah. It’s all ready for spraying tomorrow. Look, about earlier—”
“I’m sorry. It was none of my business.”
“No, I’m sorry. I overreacted.”
“Still.”
“You were right, though. I called Uncle Chuck.”
“I hope it’s not because… I mean, I don’t want to pressure you or anything.”
Ben laughed. “Really? You haven’t figured out by now that I’m not going to do anything I don’t want to do?”
Thom smiled for the first time since Ben had come back inside. “Yeah, that’s true. You are a stubborn jackass sometimes.”
“That’s more like it.”
* * *
Uncle Chuck hadn’t been able to tell him much, and he hadn’t kept in touch with his former brother-in-law, but he told Ben he would see what he could do to track the man down and contact him. Ben left it up to Uncle Chuck. If his father was willing to talk to him, great, but if not, Ben would know he had made an effort and wouldn’t have the regret of never even trying.
Saving Grapes (Cable's Bend Book 1) Page 3
