by Brook, L M
I push the ignition button and the engine revs, the men look up curiously as the driver strides slowly back across the road. They can’t see me through the tinted glass and probably suspect their colleague. Driving forwards turning the wheel I harshly mount the curb and then take a deep breath before reversing hard, screeching backwards slamming into the approaching driver and then towards their parked car. The two men immediately dive out of the way as I smash with full power into the side of their car. It bangs against the curb and then rolls onto its side. Perfect!
Putting the car into drive I pull forwards heading for the concourse. Gun shots pelt the windows but don’t penetrate the bullet proof glass. At speed I weave amongst the pedestrians until I reach Marie, Anthony and Nick. Frederick fires directly at me through the front windscreen with no impact. I can hear Nick yelling “Darcey stop” but my foot is flat down as I spin out onto the junction amid furious horns.
I breathe deeply to calm my nerves, in my rear mirror I can see men running towards their cars but I’m in amongst the flowing traffic and making a good pace. I follow signs towards the city crossing back over the river and into the shopping district where I find an underground station.
Pulling over into a side road, I turn off the engine and look down at my blood splattered coat. I wrap it up into a tiny bundle and take a look in the mirror at my bruised and cut face. I quickly tidy my curls and wipe away spots of blood from my cheek. Tucking the wad of money into my skirt pocket I nervously open the car door.
Swinging my boots out to meet the pavement I gradually stand feeling weak but adrenaline pumped ready to move as quickly as I can. Locking the car behind me I throw the key into the drain and discard my coat into a nearby bin. Putting one step forwards I head towards the entrance to the underground station. With each careful pace I feel stronger and more in control as I reach the station kiosk. Casting an eye over the underground map I determine my route to the airport purchasing an all zones ticket and then sluggishly I navigate the turnstiles and the escalator down to the platform.
It seems an eternity as I stand anxiously waiting for the train to arrive. My legs wobble and my eyes wander up and down the platform looking for the men chasing me. Everyone else waits casually oblivious to my pounding heart and screaming inner voice wishing the train would hurry. The chain of yellow carriages arrives and the welcome air gushes passed my face. Sitting down I scan every face in and out of the train. Another deep breathe and the train pulls softly away.
A young lady dozes beside me with bags of shopping at her feet and a cap resting on the side of her seat. A small American child enthusiastically plays I spy with her mother and I daydream of those innocent years with no cares in the world. Eventually we reach Berlin Central Train Station; I lean forward stealing the ladie’s cap and quickly exit the carriage through the sliding doors.
The station is heaving and chaotic with announcements every few seconds. I sit down on a bench feeling quite sick after fighting my way through the crowds and then remember the last time I had something to eat was fifteen hours ago. I delight in the aroma of the close by fresh bakery stall and as though hypnotically drawn I can’t resist buying pastries and coffee and greedily consume within minutes. After my sugar rush I make my way to the payphones. Daniel and Lola’s home number is etched into my brain. She’ll be there as she works from home on Fridays. Hopefully she’ll be able to contact Daniel.
“Hello” Daniel answers the phone.
“Daniel you’re there, thank god.” I feel ecstatically relieved.
“Darcey is that you?” His voice is the most welcome sound right now.
“Yes, Daniel please listen I need your help, I was kidnapped last night and taken to Berlin.” I gulp hard remembering the terror of the past few hours. “I murdered a man.”
“Where are you now?” If he sounded a little sleepy before he now is fully awake.
“I escaped; I’m at Berlin Central Station.” I take a look around me from underneath my newly acquired cap. “Using your contacts, can you get me out of the country?”
“Of course but we need to move you quickly, train stations and airports are the first places they’ll look. We need to get you out of Berlin and on a plane before they get organised.” Daniel eagerly snaps into action.
“Daniel thank you, this means so much.” I sigh leaning against the payphone stand.
“Darcey, you know I’d do anything for you.” His soft caring words sooth my frantic mind.
I smile feeling protected and loved by this man, after all his recent faults he’s been there for me when I needed him. Concern starts to set in as I recall they’ll search for me here. “Daniel I have some money, shall I board the next train leaving for the airport?”
“No, get a ticket out of the city to Frankfurt. I’ve an acquaintance there. He’ll meet you at the train station with new documents and arrange a flight to Madrid.” I can hear him tapping on a keyboard. “There’s the ICE train that takes just over four hours, and leaves in 30 minutes, costs about 126 euros. Do you have enough money?”
“Yes, I’d better head over to the ticketing office, Thank you Daniel.” I search around me trying to check the updating notice board for departing trains.
“Darcey, I’ll tell Hector to meet you outside the currency exchange. Take care.”
Clutching my ticket I dash to the platform cautious as to whether I’m being followed. The ICE train is waiting ready to depart and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see a train before. Settling into my seat I roll my head to release the stress that’s built up in my neck and shoulders. I think to myself what would I’ve done without Daniel?
Most of the journey I slip in and out of a sleep state, with a visit to the ladies to wash my pale face and bloodied finger nails before having more coffee and meatballs in the restaurant car. I’m absolutely exhausted.
The train arrives just before 6pm as I calmly follow the exiting weary travellers out onto the station concourse. Looking around me I see the currency exchange and cagily move towards the booth. Standing with my back to the kiosk I watch the many faces come and go and then start to doubt whether Daniel has set me up.
“Darcey?” A man with a Spanish appearance approaches me with a smile.
“Yes” I gingerly reply.
He holds out a hand “I’m Hector, nice to meet you.”
“Good to meet you.” I shake his hand not taking my eyes off him.
“Darcey shall we take a walk over to the bar?” He points across the concourse as I nervously follow his lead. “Would you like a drink? I’m sure you’ve had a harrowing day.”
“Yes, white wine please.” I stare at his reassuring face.
He orders two glasses and then chooses seats in a quiet corner to the rear of the bar. Taking an envelope from inside his jacket he slides the package across the table. “Here are your documents, passport and flight ticket. Your name is Jessica Palmer; you now live in Spain and was born in London.”
I nod listening carefully to his instructions.
“Your flight leaves at 9.05pm and you’ll need to check in before 7pm. You land in Madrid at 10.25. Daniel will be there to meet you.” He sits back taking a sip of wine and smiles his brilliant white teeth.
“Thank you” is all I can manage in between sips of wine.
“Do you need more money? Daniel recommends that you buy new clothes and throw away what you’re wearing. Get rid of any evidence.” He pulls out his wallet.
“I’ve a little left.” I watch him count out three hundred euros.
“This should be enough for you; I know how you ladies like to shop.” He takes a large gulp of wine and stands “Jessica I wish you luck with your new life in Spain, Daniel will take care of you so don’t worry. I’ll call him to confirm you’re on your way.” He extends a hand.
I softly shake his hand and smile appreciatively “Thank you for all your help.”
With another flash of those perfect teeth against his tanned face he smiles down
at me before leaving.
Looking up at a television screen there is breaking news of a shooting outside a bank and a body of a man found dead in a car this afternoon in Berlin. They’re not sure if the two incidents are connected at the moment.
I pick up the package and stare at the photograph and name on my new passport. So I’m Jessica Palmer from now on, I make my way out of the bar walking towards the Airport Departure Terminal.
After checking in I wander around the shops trying to create a new image for Jessica Palmer and finally choose a casual outfit to fit my mood. Blue jeans, wedge suede, tan shoes and handbag, white chiffon blouse and new sunglasses. Blowing three hundred euros in two hours is fun and there’s no doubt that retail therapy really works.
A beautiful silk scarf decorated with hot air balloons catches my eye, I immediately think of Anthony’s wish to watch the sun set from a hot air balloon. These all seem so distant dreams as I stare down at my engagement ring. Now that I’m starting a new life as Jessica Palmer it seems only appropriate to return the ring to him.
With my impulse purchase of the scarf I slowly slide the ring down my finger wiping tears of despair from my cheeks. I wrap the ring in the scarf tucking it inside a bubble wrap envelope. Borrowing a pen I scrawl Anthony’s address on the front and smudge the letters with a stray tear as I dab down the postage stamps. My heart breaks in half as I slip the package inside the postal box. I close my eyes releasing a flood of emotion as I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. How am I going to live without Anthony? People stare as they stroll by and I try to compose myself to detract any unwelcome attention.
The short flight passes like the blink of an eye and I feel as though the last month has been a haze or perhaps sometimes a nightmare. Did I really meet a man called Anthony who I fell in love with, had amazing sex and accepted his marriage proposal. Did Daniel break my heart and can we lock away these memories and start over again? I’m numb, questioning whether I could love anyone else again. I don’t know how to move forward and breathe each second as it washes over me.
Walking through the arrivals hall I can see Daniel waiting with his hands in his pockets and beaming from ear to ear. The smile is infectious as I grin removing my glasses and propping them on top of my head. As I reach him my eyes fill up with tears and my lip wobbles as I try to control my feelings of relief.
“Hi Jessica, I’ve missed you.” He cradles my shoulders against his chest.
“I’ve missed you too.” Our lips touch and it feels as though the past few weeks didn’t happen, as though we’ve never been apart.
“Come on let’s get you home.”
CHAPTER 14
Daniel opens the car door watching every expression on my face. I’m so tired but also relieved to be safe. Without speaking a word I curl myself sideways observing Daniel’s body language as he enters the driver’s seat and starts the engine. He seems relaxed with a comforting grin that settles my agitated anxiety. My mind wanders with so many questions and self-made assumptions that I’m too confused to talk. He’s been a rock for me and has never given up on us even when I rejected him.
The street lights flash by as we drive along the motorway towards the city of Madrid. This is the most uneasy feeling ever, a new identity and life and I’ve no idea where we’re heading and somehow I don’t care. I’ve given up fighting to survive as Darcey and accept Jessica’s offer of anonymity, blocking out my previous life and the pain that came with it.
After the silent journey we arrive in central Madrid where Daniel guides me to a quaint first floor apartment. I step inside with his arm wrapped reassuringly around my back. Standing lifeless for a few seconds I take in the fresh white walls, soft charcoal grey sofas, shiny wooden floors and black suede and glass table lamps. This is home……I’ve an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and fear as though I’m standing at the base of a mountain contemplating the enormous task to surmount in order to feel human again.
I walk slowly to the balcony overlooking a pretty courtyard where lamps light up a beautiful old tree and yellow washed walls with sheltered seating. The tranquil scene brings calmness to my panicked state of mind. Daniel’s hands gently touch my shoulders as the tears flow freely down my face. It’s as though nothing needs to be said as we stand together in silence.
Where do we start? What do we do next and how? I feel like somebody learning to walk and talk again. All I know is that I’m scared, ashamed of my crime and extremely sorry and very grateful to Daniel.
“I’m so sorry.” I whisper wiping away the tears from my cheeks.
“Shhh……… we’re not doing this tonight Darcey. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Daniel softly takes my finger tips and leads me to the bedroom.
He instantly soothes my heartache calling me Darcey instead of Jessica, recognising the old me and not some false character I’ve become. Switching on the bedside lamp reveals a double bed dressed in white linen set against a warm stone wall. The room exudes old Spanish charm with a rustic homely feel.
“You have the bed and I’ll take the sofa.” He releases my hand and turns to stare deep into my watery, tired eyes.
“Daniel thank you for being so understanding.” I wrap my arms around his waist and breathe in his familiar cologne.
“Darcey, I just want us back the way we were and if it takes forever I’ll wait.” He plants a kiss on the top of my head and then leaves the room closing the door behind him.
What have I done to this man? My heart is aching to heal him and make everything ok. As I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling I wonder how this all became so crazy. My eye lids feel heavy and I’m no longer able to hold back the need to sleep.
Waking to the sound of Spanish conversation I notice that I’m still fully clothed and in the same position. Rising up from the bed I walk across the room to take in the view of the courtyard below where two women are talking and laughing loudly. I’m eager to find Daniel as I open the bedroom door and wander through the lounge to a small galley kitchen. A note scrawled on a piece of paper is laid on the counter.
Darcey, gone shopping will be back soon. X
I make my way to the bathroom where fresh fluffy white towels are neatly folded on an old oak dresser next to a white butler style sink. Terracotta tiles on the floor feel rough and cold as I tip toe to the shower hauling my shirt over my head and unzipping my jeans. The warm water jets feel so good and the sweet citrus aroma from the shower wash brings about clarity and a positive outlook.
Reappearing from the bathroom wrapped in a towel with dripping hair I cross the hall to the kitchen where I can hear movement. Daniel stands with his back to me as he unloads shopping bags.
“You’ve been busy.” I smile taking in the view of a carefree, cheery Daniel in beige chinos and a loose linen white shirt.
“Morning” he turns swiping back his loose, stray hair with a gleaming smile that I so remember and love.
He scans me from head to toe as I lean against the door frame. His eyes can never lie and give away his yearning desire to search beneath my towel. We stand motionless for a few seconds and it feels like we’ve only just met. He spins around dragging away his gaze from my naked body as though it’s forbidden to look.
“I’ve bought breakfast, freshly baked bread, cheese, ham, fruit, yoghurt and of course coffee…….. oh… I also picked up some clothes for you.” Daniel is noticeably tense and trying very hard to make this seem normal.
I’m lost for words as I move up close behind him, hugging tightly. “Thank you.”
Daniel stands immobile and I sense the awkwardness between us. I suppose the last time we were this close he was drunk and not welcome. He seems to be uncertain of my affection towards him. Bowing his head he looks down at my clasped hands at his waist and cups them with his.
“Darcey, I thought we could spend the day checking out the area and perhaps stop for a cold glass of wine or two with tapas, what do you think?” Still holding my hands he drags me under his arm and into his chest
as he looks down into my eyes.
“Perfect.” I smile warmly appreciating the attention he’s devoting to me. “I’ll get some clothes on and join you for breakfast.”
Daniel had bought me a pair of sky blue, straight cotton trousers and a fitted shirt with pale blue and yellow flowers. They make me smile reminding me of summer and I love how stylish they look complete with my new wedge shoes.
The surrounding area is a typical Spanish neighbourhood not too far from the bustle of the city shops. We dart in and out hand in hand buying more clothes and pieces to make the apartment feel more like home. As we sit for hours outside a bar drinking and eating we begin to talk of the past and it’s the first time in a while that I feel like me again!
After purchasing ingredients to cook dinner, we head back wearily to our cosy apartment passing a library where Daniel points out a poster with details of weekly book club.
“Darcey you should join the library, keep yourself busy and get to know some locals.” He wraps an arm around my neck as we climb the steps to the apartment.
“I’ll do that as I’ve not much else in my diary at the moment.” I’m exhausted but in a refreshing way. “When do you have to leave?” I turn to face Daniel as he opens the apartment door. I’m aware that I can’t keep him here in Madrid forever.
“I have to be in Russia Monday morning.” His eyes look sad as he acknowledges my disappointment. “I’ll be back Friday…….I want you to get busy filling up your wardrobe with new clothes and shoes……oh and there’s a gym you can join that is only two blocks away.” He manages a loving smile “I’ll call you every day and night.”
“Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine, I’ll have dinner on the table when you come home!” I smirk picking up the shopping bags entering the apartment.
We work together preparing chicken, chorizo, onions and wine in a casserole while Caro Emerald sings of “Riviera Life.” This feels so good and so easy with Daniel without even trying to love him.
