by J. S. Malcom
“No, no, no.”
“Because I don’t. My life ended when you got taken. It began again when you came back. I’m fine. I’m more than fine. My husband died. I died too. Remember? But then I came back. You’re why I came back.”
“No, no,” I say. “No.”
Autumn wraps her arms around me again. She shushes me and says, “Everything will be fine. I know it will. But, listen, we need to talk about this now. We can’t just pretend it’s not there.”
I try wiping my eyes, but it doesn’t do any good. The tears just keep coming. I manage to say, “I know.”
“This time I’m serious. Will you look after Louie?”
I look around for Autumn’s one-eyed cat. I spot him sleeping in the corner, which is a little unusual. Typically, he comes around at night, and I have to wonder if he’s staying close because he senses something. With all of my heart, I hope I’m wrong.
I shake my head. “Nope.”
Autumn rolls her eyes. “And Mom. She’s going to need you. Promise you’ll be there for her.”
Again, I shake my head. “No. I suck at that stuff. You’re going to be there for her.”
“Cassie, come on,” Autumn says. “Stop screwing around. You’re Buttercup, remember? You’re the tough one.”
Finally, I nod. “If something happens, I promise I’ll be there for Mom and your freaky cat.”
Across the room, Louie looks up and glares at me. Again, I think about witches having familiars. Could he possibly be…?
“Good,” Autumn says. “Thank you. I knew you would be.”
I wipe my cheeks again. “But that’s not what’s going to happen. My plan is to figure this mess out and be the first one to dance at your wedding.”
Autumn raises her eyebrows. “Can you even dance?”
I shake my head, a grin tugging at my lips. “No. I didn’t happen to have a body when everyone else was learning.”
A strange moment of silence passes between us and then Autumn snorts. She tries not to laugh, but can’t quite pull it off.
“It’s not funny!” I say.
“Yeah, it kind of is,” Autumn says. “I’m sorry.”
Then I start laughing too. Because in a super weird way, it is funny. “Talk about body issues,” I say.
Autumn starts laughing harder. “Well, at least you weren’t obsessed about your weight.”
I huff. “Right, because I didn’t have any.”
Autumn keeps laughing.
“Guess what I wore to the prom,” I say.
Autumn’s shoulders convulse as she shakes her head.
“Julia!”
“Oh, my God,” Autumn says. “You’re killing me.”
I level her with a stare. “Seriously?”
“Okay, that might not be the best choice of phrasing.”
“That’s okay,” I say, as we both finally stop laughing. “Because no one is going to kill you. You’re right, I’m Buttercup. And Buttercup always comes through in the end. That’s what she does, right?”
Autumn looks at me with sad eyes. “Yes, that’s what she does.”
I get up from the table and grab my keys. “So, I guess that means I better get moving.”
“Okay,” Autumn says. “I guess you better.”
But Autumn’s sad gaze says that she knows I’m just grasping at straws. If I haven’t figured this mess out over the last few days, two more isn’t likely to make much difference. She walks me to her door and we look at each other one more time. Then Autumn wraps me in a tight hug, squeezing hard and holding me close like she may never be able to hug me again. And the fact is, she could be right.
“Go on, Buttercup,” she says. “Get on out there and kick some ass.”
I manage to make it all the way back to my car before I start crying again.
CHAPTER 30
Despite my tough act in front of Autumn, internally I’m freaking out. The clock is ticking so loud I can barely think. Meanwhile, I’m running out of options. As I’ve done so many times in the last few days, I go over the things I know, once again hoping to see the connections that somehow keep eluding me.
I know that Silas killed Nora’s friends, apparently at Mason’s bidding. But was that just to frame one of us? To carry out a vendetta on Mason’s behalf? Both?
I know that Mason is in league with the demons, but I’m not sure where Silas fits in there. Or, for that matter, if he even does.
I know that Nora’s friends being killed allowed Sarah Wellingsford to pin the crime on Autumn. Although, my gut still says she’d rather it was me. I just happened to have an alibi. At the same time, I don’t know how Sarah’s grudge ties into Silas’s grudge against us. Or, once again, if it even does.
I know that Vintain has escaped, from the sounds of things weeks ago. I know that he knew about Silas. I’m also pretty damned sure it was Vintain’s magic I went up against in that portal house of mirrors. Again, though, I don’t know how Vintain is connected to Silas now, or what his plan could possibly be. What could Vintain, demons and a group of vampires all have in common? Other than the fact that they're nuts, of course.
Finally, there’s a high demon named Nepheras, who seemed just fine with Mason and his vampire followers being in her realm. Which tells me she must also know about Silas, and quite possibly Vintain. Or maybe I’m entirely wrong.
At the end of it all, I’m left with one big snarled up ball that never quite seems to unravel. I keep pulling at it, kicking at it and throwing it around, but what’s at its center remains hidden.
Letting out a cry of frustration, I slam my hand against the steering wheel. My car veers and I pull back just in time to avoid hitting a tree. “Easy, Cassie,” I say to myself. “You won’t do Autumn any good if you’re dead.”
Not that I seem to be doing her much good now. I may be many things, but apparently I’m not a detective. Ironically, I know a detective, but I can’t ask him for help. I swore to Autumn I wouldn’t tell Ian, although once again I wonder when she’s going to tell him herself. Is it that she just can’t bring herself to do it?
Or, to protect him, is she simply never going to tell him and just disappear from his life? That’s something I can see Autumn doing. Yes, part of him would die. Part of him would forever hate her for having lied to him. At the same time, she’d meet her end knowing she never put him up against something he had no way to handle. In fact, something that could get him killed. This way, he’d survive, and that might just be the best Autumn can do right now.
I get to where I’m going and pull over to the side of the road. I take a deep breath to keep myself from crying again and I reach for my phone. I pause for a minute, ready to send a text, but not quite sure what to say. I glance out at the darkness that just settled in beyond my windshield, and decide to go with the absurd.
Are you up yet?
A minute passes, my phone buzzes, and I read Nora’s response. Just woke up. How’d you guess? That along with a fanged emoji smiley face. There are customized vampire emojis? It’s kind of cool, actually.
I fire off another text. I was thinking I might head out with you guys tonight.
Nora will know what this means. Namely, that I keep coming up dry and remain desperate for clues. Which I’m sure she suspected, since I would have told her otherwise.
Nora texts back a second later. Okay. I’ll be down in a minute.
I imagine sensing a weary disappointment in her words, reminding me that all of this has been hard on her too. After all, my sister remains alive and there’s still hope I can save her. Nora can’t say the same for those she lost. All she can hope for is some form of justice. So, in a sense, she’s relying on me too.
Soon, we’re heading upstairs to where, these days, she’s squatting along with her vagabond vampire buddies. It’s almost unexpected now, but my skin still starts to prickle. It’s strange to think that, even though I know these people, these instincts still kick in. Is there any way to stop that from happening? Honestly,
I don’t think so. It’s just the way I’m wired. Like it or not, it’s something I have to live with.
The scene inside their shared dwelling is exactly the same as last time. John and Eric sit playing video games, while Stephanie stares at her phone. They appear both relaxed and bored, and it strikes me just how normal their actions seem. Pretty much what you’d expect from any group of people in their twenties. Of course, in this case at least one of them is well over a hundred. Still, it makes me wonder what I used to imagine vampires doing in their off time. Filing their fangs? Hanging from the rafters like bats? I never gave it much thought, just always thinking of them as human-shaped ticks who lived forever if I didn’t step on them.
“Hi guys,” I say, following Nora into the room.
“Hi Cassie,” Stephanie says, like she’s known me for years.
“Hey, we saw your show,” John says, clicking away madly on his controller.
I’m not quite sure if he’s talking to me until Stephanie makes eye contact. “He meant the YouTube thing. That was you, right?”
Out there in the world are all those who left nasty comments beneath the video, calling the person who uploaded it a hoaxer. Meanwhile, I chat with a group of vampires who never doubted its authenticity.
“I was there,” I say.
“Were those your Shadow Order peeps?” The question comes from Eric, who looks my way for a moment. He looks back at the screen and says, “Fuck!”
“Snooze you lose,” John quips in a happy tone.
Vampires may be hard to kill in real life, but they die just like the rest of us in video games. At least that’s what I guess must have happened, because Eric hangs his head and sighs. Then he looks my way again, signaling that he’s still curious.
“Most of them,” I say. “One wasn’t caught in the video.” I don’t mention that she’s a flying dwarf who was doing battle with an airborne demon reptile. Presumably, some things have to be seen to be believed, even if you’re a vampire.
“Cool,” Stephanie says. “I wish that guy had kept filming. I was hoping to see you in action.”
I shrug, my cheeks warming a bit. “It wasn’t any big deal. We just sort of showed them the door.”
“Still,” Stephanie says.
“Same here,” John says. “Hey, you should take some video of your own. You could have a kickass YouTube channel.”
“Cassie the Demon Hunter,” Eric intones in an attempt at baritone.
“I’d totally subscribe,” John says.
“Me too,” Stephanie says, her eyes not leaving me as she adds, “I’m hungry.”
Wait, did she just go from imagining me having a YouTube channel to imagining having me for dinner? I feel myself blush even more, which apparently Stephanie notices. She laughs and says, “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have strung those two thoughts together. You coming with us for another ride-along?”
“I was thinking I might,” I say.
Stephanie shrugs like it’s fine with her. John and Eric seem unfazed too, as the sound of their video game mission continues in the background.
The fact is, I wasn’t sure how the idea would go over, but I guess they got past that demon attack. They must have realized it wasn’t my fault. On top of that, they probably don’t love the idea of a vampire-killing veil witch being on the loose. Especially one working with inside intel on where to find victims. As Nora mentioned, these vagabond types are low in the vampire pecking order. Who’s to say if Mason might suggest them next for target practice?
So, come to think of it, there might be a few more people counting on me to settle the score. If only I knew how to make that happen, I guess we’d all sleep easier. The main difference being that some of us sleep at night, and some of us sleep during the day. The weird thing for me is that, right now, that seems like possibly the biggest difference between us. Well, that and subsisting on human blood, but even that doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
When all of this is over, I’m definitely getting therapy.
~~~
Before long, we’re riding a bus across town again. I came close to offering to drive us, but then something occurred to me. I really don’t need blood all over the seats if someone forgets to wipe their hands. The definition of dinner with friends has definitely changed.
The bus is quiet tonight, with the five of us grouped in a pod, me sitting beside Nora again. Up ahead there’s a smattering of people, both couples and people alone, a woman reading a book with her young daughter—all of them oblivious to the fact that a group of vampires sits just a few feet away.
I can’t help but wonder what it must be like for those I’m with. At some point, they were human too. They had their share of all that meant—joy, sadness, love and heartbreak, family and friends, hopes and dreams, visions for some sort of future. I don’t want to think it, but I still do. I just can’t help it. Will Autumn find herself in that same place soon? What will that mean to us? Will my hackles instinctively raise in the presence of my own sister? Will I have to fight against the urge to remove her from the realm?
I feel my eyes growing misty, which I can’t have right now. I reach down, checking the sheath at my ankle, but taking a moment to lift the athame up just long enough to touch my fingertip to the blade. I feel it bite against my skin, that brief flash of pain reminding me that I’m human. My heart beating and pumping blood. For now, and there’s no telling how long that might last, but that’s the time I have. I need to find a way to protect my sister’s time too.
“What’s on your mind?”
I glance over at Nora. Such a simple question, which at the same time seems so intimate. She’s never asked me before.
So, I answer honestly. “My sister.”
“You must be worried,” Nora says, her voice soft.
I nod. I let a few seconds pass. “And the things I’ve done.” Which I wasn’t aware of consciously, but it’s always there when I’m around Nora.
“You mean to people like me,” she says.
People like me. But, of course, she still thinks of herself that way. Why wouldn’t she? Wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t Autumn?
I nod again. “Yes.”
I almost jump when Nora places her hand on mine. It’s not exactly cold, but it’s not warm either. Then our eyes meet and it doesn’t matter.
“Can I ask you something?” Nora says.
I hesitate just briefly. “Of course.”
“At those times, did you feel that you did something wrong?”
I think for a moment, then shake my head. “No, but—”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” Nora keeps her eyes on mine. “Listen, I may not look like it, but I’ve been around for a long time. I know a bad person when I see one.”
It’s not the reaction I expected, but I find myself fighting off tears again.
I’m embarrassed when Nora notices, but she just says, “That’s why, right there. You care. You feel. You have a big heart. I may not know you, but I know you. Okay?”
When I don’t say anything, she says it again. “Okay?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“And let me tell you this, young lady.”
That one catches my attention. Is she reminding me that she’s a century old teenager? The smile curling her lips tells me that’s exactly what she’s doing.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Good, you’re listening. And it’s a simple message. There are two kinds of people, good and bad. The same goes for vampires. No different.” She taps her chest. “Human at heart, all of us. So, those vampires you keep thinking about when you’re around me? Stop thinking about them. Because if that was truly who you are, you wouldn’t be sitting here.”
In the end, I lose the battle against the tear. It runs down my cheek, but just the one before a smile tugs at my mouth too. “Did you just school me?”
“You bet I did.” Nora looks out the window and says, “Let’s try this. Do you mind pulling the cord? I’m starving.”
I wrap my jacket around me as we get off the bus. There’s a brittle chill to the air tonight, and a ring around the moon making me think of snow. We cross the street and enter another one of the city parks, John, Eric and Stephanie walking ahead of us. I suddenly realize this is the same park where I got off the bus that night thinking I’d seen veil witch magic. I know now that I was right. It’s also where I faced off against that demon with at least one too many things protruding from his body. I shudder just thinking of his wide jaw dripping with goop, his glowing eyes and his all to obvious excitement at seeing me.
“The pickings here can be a little slim,” Nora says, “Usually, just a few winos. That sort of thing. Still, it’s worth a try.”
I glance once more at our surroundings, then look over at her again. I lift an eyebrow.
Nora frowns, seeing my expression. “What?”
“No one says winos anymore.”
“Like I said, I’ve been around for a while. But, fine. Maybe we’ll run into a few drunks. Better?”
“Not exactly what I was going for.”
Nora laughs, which isn’t something I’ve heard often. But then, she’s had a sad life. Or she had a sad life, depending on how you look at it.
“Anyway, we’ll just have a quick look. After that, we’ll hit a few bars.”
By which she means scout for food, of course. Evidently, humans drinking alcohol plays a major role in how vampires score their meals. Which makes sense, when you think about it. That’s when we’re more likely to let our guard down, to take chances, to maybe cut through an alley or walk alone through a park. And, of course, while vampires possess a certain level of mind control, it works even better against an already compromised mind.
“I’ve been meaning to ask about vampires hanging out in bars or clubs. How does that work?”
Nora shakes her head. “What do you mean?”
“How do you manage to fit in if you never eat or drink anything?”
“We can drink,” Nora says. “That’s a total myth.” She points to her mouth and adds, “See this hole right here? I just pour the wine right in there like everybody else.”
