Mayr stopped breathing. There was no gasp, no choke, just a painful lack. Arieve's words echoed in his mind, bouncing his sluggish thoughts around happiness and shock. He shuddered, caught between her meaning and the disbelief that raced after it.
A sideways glimpse confirmed he had not misheard: Tash's stunned expression was frozen, a mirror of what Mayr felt, right down to the hint of terror.
"You're pregnant?" The question barely made it from Mayr's mouth.
"Roughly three months," Arieve replied. "It's why I've needed to spend so much time with Coye. When I got sick… it wasn't what I thought. It didn't go away, then I realized…" She raked her fingers through his hair. "I wanted to wait, to make sure. I wanted now, this moment. The healer gave me something to control the sickness so I wouldn't ruin the surprise when I was with you." Arieve turned and clasped Coye's hand. "We've been getting our relationship ready. It's going to be very real very soon."
"Such an understatement," Mayr muttered. "Come here." He pulled Arieve into his arms and buried his face in her neck. "This is good. So good."
Tash's arms slipped around both of them from the side. "I don't know what to say," he mumbled against Arieve's temple. "Thank you isn't enough. Though I love you…" His hold went rigid before he cleared his throat. "We owe you every gratitude, every blessing, and I'm sorry I have no better words."
Arieve rubbed noses with Tash. "It's fine. Words aren't everything. As long as you're happy—"
"Ecstatic," Mayr interjected. "We're ecstatic." Still clinging to Arieve's waist, he studied the shine in her eyes. "I was right."
Arieve gazed at him quizzically.
"The morning after Tash came home from the Sanctum—you, me, the bucket. When you said it was something you'd picked up, I knew. Well, thought I knew." Mayr shrugged. "I didn't want to ruin our chances, so I didn't say anything. Then I thought you actually were sick. Then you weren't. Now…" Hesitant, he drew a hand down her waist. His nerves steadied once Arieve pressed his fingers to her stomach.
Coye leaned against the table, laughing quietly. "Yes, the healer's assured us it's true."
As Tash rested his hand over Mayr's on Arieve's stomach, a strangled noise of approval escaped Mayr. "I guess that means you're staying," Mayr said, glancing at Coye, "right?"
The smugness Mayr expected was nonexistent in Coye's sincere smile. "Yes. Staying as in staking my feet to wherever Arieve is and being a parent instead of a child." Head tilted, Coye regarded Mayr with a hint of surrender. "Nothing like a pregnancy to bring out the jealousy—it's putting me in my place real good."
"That jealousy better be on lock-down." Mayr's eyes narrowed. "Remember what I said."
"Mayr…" Arieve whispered.
"He's right." Coye raised both hands. "I'm in this, full-out, for Arieve and the baby."
"For Arieve and the baby," Mayr agreed, his chest tightening. Just saying the word, imagining all the crying, the sleepless nights, every first…
Everything he had missed with Iliane he would do this time, not one day wasted.
A baby. Theirs. All the time he had forfeited with Arieve made up in a single life. The future he desperately wanted was almost close enough to touch.
Blinking back tears, Mayr hugged Arieve. "I do have a question," he murmured. "Move into the estate with us? Please, for our family. Coye can be here too, just…" He held Arieve tighter as a trickle of tears warmed his cheek. "Everything you need, all the people you want. Let us take care of you—"
"Yes." Arieve pushed Mayr back to hold his face in her hands. "I've just been waiting for you to ask."
Lips overtook Mayr's, first with an excited kiss from Arieve, followed by Tash's tender calm. Pressed between them, he was rooted to the spot. If there was anywhere else he was meant to be, he never wanted to know about it.
Chapter Fourteen
Even after four months, Tash still barely believed it was real.
In the middle of Orae's tavern, he sidestepped the table to his left and grasped Arieve's hand, then pulled her into him. They collided gently before he slipped his arms between her heavy breasts and ever-growing stomach. Savouring the time alone, they swayed together in the open space between the tables and the bar.
Bathed in the early summer light, the empty tavern looked different during the day. It appeared larger than usual, the contrasts of dark red wood and light brown panels more noticeable. The scent of sweet nut bread and glazed berry tarts lingered with a hint of warm spice cake, nothing like the usual aromas of roasted meat, herb bread, and ale. Instead of lanterns, bouquets of flowers the size of his palm brightened the tables. Pink and yellow petals littered the floor.
The stillness stirred Tash's attention the most. Without anyone else present, the tavern was oddly silent save for the sounds of chatty villagers passing by.
Yet it was the multitude of ribbons in every imaginable colour that made him smile. They draped about the room from corner to corner, complemented by a long banner above the tavern entrance that screamed congratulations in bright blue, purple, and green paint. The softness seemed out of place, leftover from the party hosted by Orae and Arieve's mother, Vilady. Not only had every woman from Arieve's family attended, Mayr's and Tash's families had joined them, along with Arieve's friends and anyone else who wanted to shower her with gifts.
Arieve chuckled and set a wicker basket of cloths and stuffed toys on the table beside her. "This isn't moving things to the wagon," she scolded, fingering the sleeves of his robes. "I imagine Mayr will have something to say about taking everything himself."
"Likely, but a moment won't hurt." Tash glided his hand down her belly, smoothing the folds of her emerald green dress. Already in her seventh month, Arieve was heavily pregnant and pleased to be kicked furiously from the inside. Hoping to feel one such kick, he slid his fingers over her. When a small bump met his touch and jerked away, he could not help but laugh. Mayr promised the day their child was born would far surpass every day before then, though the moments where he felt their child's existence were already well beyond anything he hoped for. "Besides," he said, brushing his lips over her throat, "we're not in any rush. With everyone else gone up ahead, we're allowed to linger. Not that you can't linger whenever you please."
Boots scuffed the floor inside the entrance, followed by Mayr's laugh. "Here I wondered why you weren't shoving baskets at me, telling me where to put them. You're busy. Though it's funny, because you're practically glowing—and she's the pregnant one." Mayr sauntered through the dining area, thumbs hooked around his belts. "Of course, taking care of our girl… that's better than hauling baby stuff. Gah, there's so much stuff, in case you didn't notice. This baby's already worse than Ae, and she's been around forever." He reached for Arieve, looking pleased as she accepted his grasp.
"Oh, hush," Arieve admonished. "We'll need all these things." She moved to punch Mayr's shoulder but retracted. A sharp breath followed. "Ili wasn't any less needy. I remember your house, all her things everywhere."
Mayr gave a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. "I surrender—but only because I know arguing with a pregnant woman gets me nothing but hurt."
Arieve snorted a laugh and fanned herself. Her back tensed. "A little wisdom goes a long way."
"Absolutely, especially after I learned it the hard way." Mayr grinned and slipped his hands around her belly. "The things I can teach our baby. They'll be so smart."
"And they'll know fifty ways to use a knife by the time they're five." Arieve took a long breath accompanied by a second.
Tash loosened his hold and scowled. "Are you all right?"
"Feeling a bit off, but I'm fine," Arieve said, patting Tash's arm. "Just need to stay still a bit, that's all." She nodded towards the entrance. "How about you get the rest of these things into the wagon and we'll head up to the estate? I'd hate to miss the dinner Lira's putting on." Her smile hid the bags under her eyes. "I'm being spoiled today. First the party, now dinner… I'll be worn out by the time the sun sets."
<
br /> Mayr kissed Arieve quickly. "Let's go, husband. Sooner we're done, sooner we get fed. I'm famished."
Tash released Arieve with a kiss to her cheek, feeling her take another long breath. "Famished for food, flesh, or something else altogether?" He swept back his veil and followed Mayr to the dark-stained wood chest on the floor. Together, they carried the chest of quilts, wool blankets, and infant clothes through the tavern with Mayr walking backwards.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mayr chortled and groaned. He shifted his grip as they stepped out the front door. "I'm dying for something edible. Those cradles aren't anywhere near as light as they appear—and there are four. One isn't fun enough."
"They are useful, though. We can put them everywhere we need them." Tash waited for Mayr to turn towards the small black wagon they had left on the red dirt road in front of the tavern. "One for Arieve and Coye's room, one for ours, one at the temple, and one in the Guard House. I'd expected we'd purchase a couple on our own, but to receive them all as gifts from our mothers… we're terribly blessed."
Mayr grunted and set his end of the chest on the back of the wagon. "Yeah, I know." He helped Tash push the chest against the side, next to a deeper black wood chest of clothes and blankets. Once the chest was secure, Mayr swiped his arm across his damp forehead and wiped his hands on his shirt. "I'm just being a pain. Ignore me."
"You're impossible to ignore," Tash said softly, "and with Arieve unable to share our bed, you're all mine. What aches the furniture gives you, my hands can soothe." He slid one palm around Mayr's neck and worked his fingers down Mayr's spine, finding the point that never failed to make Mayr arch into him.
"Blessed be the horrible weight," Mayr said, closing his eyes.
Tash surveyed the mostly-filled wagon. At the front were four white cradles, separated by mounds of colourful pillows in pale tones. Four wooden chests of various hues sat along the sides of the wagon, a dozen baskets of every size between them. In the centre of the wagon, secured by a pile of cloth sacks, stood a white wood heaven's horse on curved legs, its slightly-open wings curved around a small black seat. Beside the horse was a wooden ice-slider beast on six curved legs, three horns extending from its forehead. Its bisected tongue spiraled out of its mouth as wood and encircled its body in waves of white leather. The ice-slider also had a small seat, though of bright red. Tash suspected several stories of both animals would be in the books gifted to them by Aeley and Lira.
Fingertips settled on his jaw. "Hey," Mayr said, "where'd you go?"
"Here." Tash returned his attention to Mayr. "This really is happening, the four of us raising a child together… I never thought I'd call myself a father."
When Mayr opened his arms for an embrace, Tash stepped into them happily. "I know," Mayr murmured, his hold tightening. "It'll take a few good cries before you believe it's permanent. You'll curse the days when you can't get a moment's peace, but by then it's so real there's no going back to how you used to do things." He drew back to kiss Tash. "We can go into that more tonight. Right now, I'm going to check everything's packed in tight. You grab a couple more baskets. I'll come get the rest and Arieve. She'll need Coye to do something about her ankles."
"Hands too," Tash added on his way back to the tavern. "They've been swollen lately." Had he been more versed in healing, he would have found a way to take the swelling away. All he could manage was treating what aches were relieved by a soak, oils, and massage.
With a sigh, he crossed the threshold and strolled into the dining area, expecting to find Arieve fussing over toys or refolding clothes.
Nothing prepared him for her lifeless body on the floor.
"Arieve!" Tash rushed across the room. She lay on her side, one arm out and the other across her hip. Whether it was lucky or damaging, he could not decide. Kneeling, he pressed against her throat. Both her pulse and breath were weak. "Arieve," he called, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand. "Arieve."
He peered over his shoulder. "Mayr! Get in here, now!" In his grasp, Arieve trembled.
No, it's not her. It's me.
Behind him, Mayr's footsteps pounded the floorboards and stopped. A moment later, he was out the door.
"Come on, Arieve. Wake up, kind love." Tash gathered her into his arms. Panic bloomed in his chest, a spark that set fire to his emotions. Cradled against him, she remained unresponsive. He rocked gently, touching her face and hands and neck. Every few moments he stilled just to feel her slow breaths. There had been no warning, no time to prepare…
Except she felt off, she said. Tash cursed his ignorance. He should have asked her to follow them to the wagon. But then she could've smacked her head on the doorframe or tripped.
At least he could have known sooner. Wasted time could kill.
"Arieve, please," Tash whispered. His hand shook as he slid his fingers over her belly, wishing for a kick, desperate for a sign of life. He searched for the bump of the elbow or foot he felt earlier. There was no blood that he could see, no wound or sign of an early birth, not that it made him feel better. There was nothing. Nothing to work with, and nothing he could do.
He hated being helpless.
At least in the Shar-denn his adversaries had names. They'd had reasons too, and weaknesses he could exploit.
This was worse than the Shar-denn. This was true helplessness.
Emeraliss, Lady of Love's Light, I seek your benevolence and grace…
In the eerie silence, he almost missed it: a shift in Arieve's breaths, a small hop from one to another.
"Arieve?" Tash tipped her face towards his.
Ragged breaths answered, then a strangled moan. Arieve's lashes fluttered. She blinked until her eyes stayed open, her brow furrowed. "Why am I on the floor?"
"I don't know," Tash replied quietly, "but I need you to stay here. Mayr loves you—I love you—and we need to get you checked first. We can't put you or the baby at risk."
A ghost of a smile swept over Arieve's lips. She played with the trim hairs on his chin, her touch weak. "You love me? Really?"
Guilt punched Tash in the gut. What used to be whispers of feelings for her were now shouts loud enough to shatter hearts. Still, he had not openly admitted he loved her. The last time the words slipped out had been at the wedding feast—and no one mentioned them afterwards. Why had he wasted time? Why had he left the words for when she could have been dead and not staring like she wanted to hear them again?
"Yes," he said, caution thrown against the wall of regret. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, not like I should have, but I'll tell you often from now on. Mayr and I both—"
Feet stomped into the tavern and through the room. "Got her," Mayr announced, breathless as he sank to his knees beside Arieve.
A tall woman with dark tan skin and golden eyes hurried around them, her deep orange-red hair pulled back in a thick braid that hit her lower back: Karane, one of Dahena's best healers and midwives, as well as Arieve's chosen healer.
"Mayr says you were on the floor when you weren't before." Karane kneeled and set down her healer's case, its thick shell an iridescent blue against her charcoal grey dress and apron. "Can you tell me about that?" she asked, clasping Arieve's wrist.
Arieve blinked. "I don't know. I… Everything went blurry. Had some problems getting a good breath. Dizzy, definitely dizzy. I spun around to get something and reached and… that's it. I woke up here." She winced and rubbed her belly. "I feel horrible. Aching everywhere."
"I see." Karane brushed her fingers around Arieve's neck. "Have you been eating properly? Working too hard again? Doing something I've strongly suggested you shouldn't?"
Arieve scowled. "I can't seem to stop eating, though sometimes it's coming right back up. As for work…" She huffed while Karane's hands traveled over her breasts and down her stomach. "I haven't done much. Spent some time in the estate's kitchen, but not as much as I'd like, and they've got me doing the easy jobs. Cook won't let me do anything else. I've stayed out of the tavern except for toda
y. Mother and the girls threw me a party. Grandmother turned away business for three days to do this, even the rooms…" Tears spilled down Arieve's cheeks. "Now I'm ruining dinner."
Tash squeezed her gently. "Shh, don't think about it. It'll wait. They'll wait."
"Promise," Mayr added. He rubbed Arieve's arms. "You haven't ruined anything. Karane?"
Karane offered a reassuring smile. "I hear today's all about you and the baby. Of course they'll wait for you, but we need to do this." She flattened both hands on Arieve's stomach. "Do you have any pain here?" When Arieve shook her head, Karane's hands moved to her hips. "How about here?"
"Just the one." Arieve gestured to her left side. "It wasn't hurting earlier."
"She landed on it," Tash explained.
Karane returned her hands to Arieve's belly. "So you were light-headed, having vision problems. Is this the first of it?" Arieve's head shook again. Karane sighed. "How long and how bad? Tell me everything you've felt since we last talked a couple weeks ago."
A blush coloured Arieve's cheeks. "Um, well, I've been tired and getting so warm I wish I could strip everything off and bathe in ice. I've been getting swollen feet a lot, and it's happening in my hands and face. Today's not so bad. Actually, it's been an all right day. This came on so fast, not being able to stop the room from spinning… Normally it goes away."
"'Normally?'" Karane repeated, drawing the word out.
"I've felt funny for a few days," Arieve admitted, "but usually it's fine after I sit or lie back. The dizziness goes up and down, though I guess it's getting worse. It feels longer. I'm still having those terrible headaches—whatever you gave me isn't working."
Karane cursed under her breath. "You should have come to me."
"I was going to tomorrow. It's just little things brought on by all the excitement." Arieve glanced at Mayr and Tash. "I figure all this is regular pregnancy stuff, especially since the baby's getting really comfortable," she murmured.
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