“When what?”
“When you’re refusing me.”
He stands up from the vanity and strides over to me, sliding his hands either side of my face and tilting my head up toward him, so we’re staring directly into each other’s eyes.
“I want you so badly Henrietta. I’m struggling to control myself. But I have to. Because once I have you, I am never going to let you go. I need to make sure you’re ready for that.”
“What if I told you I am? What if I told you that I can’t let you go?”
He runs his fingers through my wet hair, tucking the damp strands behind my ear, his eyes soft as they wander over me as I lean against the doorframe, still wrapped in only a towel. “Not yet Henrietta. Not yet,” he whispers, pressing his lips against mine, igniting the fire inside me all over again.
My arms curl around him, and I pull him against me, absorbing his hardness into my softness. Despite his protests, he grows instantly hard. I press my thigh against it, delighting when he releases a groan into my mouth. He shifts his weight slightly, and I take his hand, guiding it between my legs.
My other hand slides down his back, gripping onto his arse cheek as I pull him closer still, rocking my body against his, rubbing myself with his hand. I can feel his fingers twitching – he can’t stay passive for much longer.
“Stop,” he growls, panting as he pulls his mouth and hand away from mine.
“Please,” I beg, taking his hand, damp with my juices again and pressing it between my thighs. “Just give me this.” I gasp, clinging to him, grinding against him, completely lost in my need to be near him.
“Oh god,” he groans, his own body moving against mine. “You’re going to make this happen too soon. Oh… fuck.” He pulls his hand away again. My heart jumps with disappointment but instead of stopping, he reaches his hands up and pulls my towel open, taking a long look at my body as he exposes me. “Jesus Etta, just look at you. You’re making me crazy.”
“I want this. I need you Damien,” I whisper, sliding my hand down his torso until I reach the tent in his boxers, gripping his shaft, long, thick and rock hard, rubbing my hand up and down it. He lets out a slow breath as I work him with my hand, moaning and whimpering as my pleasure builds.
“Touch me,” I whisper. “I want you. I need you. Touch me.” I’m begging him, the need inside me seems too all-encompassing. I don’t want to wait.
His breathing quickens as I slide my hand up and down his shaft, and he gives in to me, slipping his hand between my thighs, rubbing between my folds, circling my engorged clit as I grind against him, desperate for release.
“Etta, we need to stop this. We aren’t ready,” he murmurs, as his fingers move inside me, slipping back out, wet and slick to caress my sensitive nub.
“I am ready,” I gasp. “I don’t want to stop this. I’m so close…oh god!” I explode, lights flashing behind my eyes as I throw my head back and moan, bucking against his hand, my own hand gripping his cock firmly.
“Fuck. Etta.” he moans, as he shudders against me, dropping his head into the crook of my neck, breathing me in, softly kissing my flesh, his arms wrapping around my body holding me against him.
Gasping, my chest filling with emotion as we just stand together in the doorway, clinging to each other. I slide my arms up his back and rake my fingertips through his hair soothingly, kissing his temple, wondering how the hell this is happening. I know I’m inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but this… this is something else. My chest literally aches, and I can’t move. I can’t stop holding him.
Eventually, he reaches his hands beneath my buttocks and lifts me off the floor. Normally, I’d squeal if something like this happened to me – I’m not the lightest girl in the world – but he does it with such ease, and there’s an intensity in him that’s sucking me into his aura, making this a very serious moment.
We don’t speak as he carries me into the bathroom and reaches over to turn on the shower again. He somehow manages to remove his boxers while still holding me, then steps us both into the shower, pulling the curtain with a sweep of his arm.
He aims us underneath the spray and lowers me down so I’m standing in front of him. Our eyes lock as he reaches for the shower soap and a sponge. He starts from my shoulders and works his way down, getting on his knees to make sure that every part of me is covered in suds.
He then positions me under the jet stream as he quickly soaps over his own body before joining me under the spray. I stand there as he rinses me off, as if I’m unable to do it for myself, somehow knowing that this is exactly what he wants from me.
When he’s satisfied that we’re clean, he switches off the water and steps out of the tub before reaching out and taking me by the waist. I place my hands on his shoulders and bend my legs up as he lifts me out and places me on the floor mat in front of him.
Securing a towel around his own waist, he takes another and rubs it over my body, drying me from head to toe. When he’s done, he wraps the towel around me, securing it at my chest. He then lifts me again, and sits me on the vanity next to the sink where he proceeds to brush his own teeth. When he spits, he reaches for mouthwash, pouring a small amount in the lid and holding it to my lips.
Opening my mouth for him, I let him pour the hot mint liquid onto my tongue. He repeats the same action for himself and watches me as I swish it about in my mouth and spit it in the sink along with him.
He then scoops me up again and carries me over to the bed, standing me beside it as he removes my towel, then his, hanging them both neatly over the back of his desk chair.
Leaning forward, he pulls the sheets back, guiding me so that I’m sitting down, before helping me slide my legs in. Everything is so strange, yet so right, this isn’t something I would have thought I’d go along with. But here I am. Letting him take care of me, when all I’ve wanted for years, is to do that for myself.
Pulling me close as he nestles in beside me, he plants soft kisses on my shoulder and up my neck, sending warm ripples curling through my body, lulling me off to sleep - wrapped up inside of him.
Chapter 12
An overwhelming sense of warmth and bliss urges me to consciousness. My eyes flutter open slightly, met with the darkness of the room. The only light coming from the streetlights, as they shine brightly behind the blinds.
“Are you awake?” Damien whispers, kissing the curve of my thigh, just next to my entrance. I hum, reaching down between my legs and sliding my fingers into his hair as I adjust my body beneath him.
“Do you want this Etta?” he asks, running the tip of his tongue, softly around my clit, being careful not to touch it.
I shudder, pulling at his hair, rocking my hips toward his mouth.
“Uh, uh, ah,” he tuts, pulling his mouth away and kissing the inside of my thigh instead. “I need to hear your answer. Do you want this?”
“Yes,” I gasp. “I want this.”
“Tell me exactly what it is you want,” he commands, kissing over my folds, driving me mad as my insides start to throb.
“I want…” I pause, not knowing exactly what to say.
“You want what Etta? Tell me.” He takes a finger and runs it every so lightly over my folds, causing a surge of need to grow inside me. “You obviously want something, you’re dripping,” he murmurs, taking his finger into his mouth and sucking the end of it. “Mmmm, I like the way you taste.”
He continues to run his fingertips between my legs, but never exactly where I want them.
I lift my hips. “Please,” I beg, wanting him to touch me more.
“What do you want?”
“I want your tongue on me. I want your fingers inside me.”
“Are you ready for me Etta?” he murmurs, leaning down and brushing the tip of his tongue lightly on my engorged clit.
“I’m ready,” I pant, as his mouth comes down around my clit and he sucks me into his mouth, the added pressure has me gasping and calling out his name within seconds as my o
rgasm builds strongly within me.
Holding on, I grip his head with my thighs and his hair in my hands as he enters me with his fingers, pulsing back and forth, swirling his tongue, sucking with his mouth.
I can’t take it for long, the pressure builds inside me until I’m soaring, erupting from within as I spasm beneath him, my calls echoing out into the quiet of the morning.
Lifting his head, he kisses up my body, keeping his fingers inside me, pulsing gently, bringing me back to earth.
“I want you inside me,” I whisper, as his kisses reach my neck. My arms pull him against me, clawing my fingers into his flesh. It’s as if I’m trying to merge with him. I want him that much.
Withdrawing his fingers, he leans his arms either side of me, hovering over me, the weight of his erection, leaning against my thighs, leaving a damp trail of arousal as he rubs it against me.
Moaning, he dips his head, taking my mouth in his, kissing me languidly. My juices, mixed with the taste of his mouth, only leads to my wanting him more.
“Please,” I beg, lifting my hips toward him.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispers again.
“I want you inside me,” I say immediately, not willing to beat around the bush this time.
He moves his tip over my thigh, sliding it through my juices, his voice rumbling erotically in his throat as he touches himself to my slick wetness.
“You’re not asking the right way,” he growls, his voice thick with arousal.
Desire smothers my mind like a thick fog. I want him inside me, my body screaming internally for him to fill me. “Just fuck me Damien. Please,” I gasp out, tilting my hips up, trying to coax him inside me.
“Wrong,” he says suddenly, rising from the bed, striding straight to the bathroom and slamming the door. The movement and change in demeanour, so sudden that I flinch, my heart thumping in my chest as I stare after him and wonder what the hell just went on.
I sit up, suddenly feeling way too naked and reach over to the desk chair to grab a towel. Wrapping it around myself, I walk over to the bathroom door and listen for a moment before knocking gently.
“Damien?”
The door bursts open, revealing a now clothed Damien, a calm controlled expression on his face as he gives me a cursory glance and moves straight past me, heading for the couch where he picks up my bag.
“What are you doing?” I ask, suddenly feeling as though he’s about to tell me to go home - that he doesn’t want me anymore. Tears spring to my eyes as the thought of not having him squeezes my heart. I don’t know what it is, but in such a short time, I feel so connected to him. The thought of not being around him seems soul destroying.
“Get dressed,” he says, throwing me my dress and underpants from last night.
“What’s going on?” I try again, as I catch it.
“Get dressed,” he repeats, more insistent this time.
Looking at the dress in my hands, and back to him, I ask, “Can I at least have my bra?”
“No. Get dressed Henrietta,” he tells me again, the use of my full name again like a slap in the face after being called ‘Etta’ all night.
“Ok.” I nod, moving to go to the bathroom to change.
“No. Get dressed right there.”
“But – ” I start, wanting to say that I need to use the bathroom, my bladder is full.
“Right there Henrietta,” he demands, folding his arms over his torso as he stands by the couch watching me.
For a moment I just stand there, not one hundred percent sure on what I should do.
“Why are you being like this?”
“Get dressed. Please.”
The intensity with which he watches me, overwhelms my senses, and I find myself capitulating, opening my towel, I let it fall to the floor, dropping the dress over my head before sliding my underpants on.
When I’m dressed, I meet his eyes again. “See, that wasn’t so hard. Now you can use the bathroom.”
I step into the bathroom, my mind reeling as I place my hand on the door, ready to close it so I can relieve myself in private, but he places his hand against it. “Leave it open,” he tells me quietly.
“What is your problem?” I cry. “I’m sorry ok! Whatever the hell I did – I’m sorry!”
“You said you were ready,” he reminds me, obviously seeing my discomfort.
“I’m just… I’m a bit confused.”
“Use the bathroom, Henrietta. Leave the door open. I won’t be watching you,” he states, as he steps away.
I contemplate shutting the door anyway, but I reason that with the angle of the bathroom, he isn’t likely to be able to see me. Besides, couples do this stuff in front of each other all the time right? It’s just happening a little sooner than I’d like here.
Forcing myself to relax, I relieve myself, wash my hands and face, then brush my teeth. When I leave the bathroom, he’s standing in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water.
“Better?” he asks, as he sets the glass aside. I nod, watching him warily as he reaches into the fruit bowl and removes a banana, breaking the stalk with a satisfying crack before peeling the skin away and dropping it in the bin.
Moving toward me, he holds it out. “Eat this,” he says gently, holding it up to my mouth. Meeting his eyes, I relax a little as I reach up and lean forward to bite the tip off it and remove it from his hand.
He returns to the fruit bowl and grabs a banana for himself, before heading toward the door, grabbing my bag along the way. The action causes a pang of pain to thud in my chest as the sweet fruit I’ve just swallowed threatens to rebound out of my stomach.
“Let’s go,” he murmurs, his voice so soft that I take it as sadness. He’s kicking me out. Great. I don’t understand what he’s so annoyed about. Everything was going fine, and then…this happens.
Forcing myself to swallow the last bite of banana, I walk out the door, attempting to take my bag from him on my way past. He keeps hold of it however, and just inclines his head, telling me to go ahead of him.
“You’re being a jerk,” I tell him, tugging again at my bag.
“It’s time to go,” he says, still refusing to let go. Rolling my eyes, I shake my head in annoyance and walk ahead of him to where he parked his car last night.
Getting into his car, he of course clicks me in. As he reaches across me, I turn my head to the side, not wanting his scent to cloud my head any further, feeling hurt by his actions and just wanting to go home so I can bury my face in my pillow and cry for a while.
Sitting quietly, I look out the window. The sun is starting to come up and glow pink and peach in the sky as it rises above the houses we drive past. Weaving through the streets, I realise we’re not going toward my house. Instead, he takes a different route and turns down the street where my father’s gym is then pulls into the parking lot.
“We’re training?” I ask, turning my head toward him, confused. I was sure he was taking me home. He seems annoyed with me. “I told you I don’t want this. And I’m not really dressed for it.”
“You need it,” he states, his voice still calm and soft. “Besides, you won’t be dressed for it if you ever need it in a real fight, will you?”
“I guess not,” I say, rolling the hem of my dress between my fingers as I contemplate my situation, running the events of last night and this morning over in my mind. “Damien? What is going on with us?” I ask suddenly, laying my head against the seat as I turn my head to meet his eyes.
“You said it yourself – it’s everything,” he whispers, reaching his hand out and brushing his knuckles down my cheek. The tenderness of his gaze, the softness of his touch, has all of my worry melting away as I close my eyes and sigh.
“I thought you were done with me. I thought you were taking me home.”
“I’ll never be done with you Etta,” he murmurs, leaning toward me, kissing me softly. All I want is to be in his arms. It’s all I can think about as I move my mouth against his, my hunger for hi
m growing.
Dropping his chin, he breaks the kiss, our breathing heavy, the air around us thickening. “Come.” He unclips my seatbelt, gets out of the car, and walks over to my side, opening the door before holding out his hand and leading me inside.
Holding fast to his hand, I follow him through the gym as he flips all of the switches and disarms the alarm. As we move down the hallway, I notice photos of tournaments and see Damien in more than a few, looking as he does now. But as my eyes drift over the older ones featuring my brother, I notice the boy he used to be.
“Is that you standing with my brother?” I ask, pointing out one as he unlocks the door to the dojo.
“Yeah. He always beat me,” he smiles.
“Well, you’ve met his dad,” I reply, reaching up and lightly touching the image. “I’m glad you knew him.”
He leans against the door jab, watching me, as I go over the photos, pausing to study them and drink in the images of my brother. Smiling. Serious. Proud.
“I’ve always felt like he never left. I mean, everything is still the same. He’s here, he was at home. I’ve spent the last six years expecting him to walk back through the door. But he won’t. It’s all just memories…” Letting out a forlorn sigh, I turn my attention back to Damien who is still listening to me quietly. “Do you still compete?”
“No. Not anymore.” He moves to the side, then follows me as I head inside the dojo and remove my heels before I step on the mats.
“Why?” I ask.
“It just doesn’t interest me anymore. I don’t care about the trophies.”
“I’ll bet my dad isn’t too happy about that.”
“He wants me to compete, yes. It’s good for the school. But there are others capable of competing at a high level. I’m not the only one.”
“So you’re fourth dan – Yondan – isn’t it?” I ask, referring to the highest grade for his age and skill level in Aikido.
“I am,” he nods, a small glint in his eye. I can tell he’s impressed that I remember the grading system.
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