by Alice Ward
“I think we should stop talking before we put some sort of jinx on the rest of the game.” I stared at my plate, wondering if my stomach would protest more food.
“Since when are you superstitious?” he asked, an eyebrow cocked in curiosity.
“Since I’m going to have a city full of people insisting I’m bad luck if this game doesn’t end well,” I answered dryly.
“Don’t let the talk get to you, sweetheart.” He squeezed my shoulder but didn’t say another word about the game.
The second half wasn’t as bad as the first; it was worse. Ethan threw interception after interception. By the beginning of the fourth quarter, the announcers were wondering out loud if his concussion had caused him to forget he no longer played for Dallas. The Stallions lost the game by their widest margin of the season and trooped off the field in defeat.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Uncle Walt offered, his arm still around my shoulders.
I was crushed by the loss but relieved that the game was finally over. I took a deep breath and rose to my feet.
“It’s okay. Like you said earlier, it will just take him some time to fall back into the swing of things. Why don’t you guys head home and relax for an hour or so, and then head to Ethan’s house? I’m going to try to slip into the locker room and make sure he’s feeling okay.”
“Are you sure he’ll still be up for company?” Claudia asked.
“No,” I confessed. “But I’m hoping for the best.”
“Just let us know, sweetheart. If Ethan needs some alone time, we can move dinner to my place,” Uncle Walt insisted.
“Sure,” I agreed and headed out of the box. “Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I left the VIP box and rode an elevator down to the ground floor of the stadium. As Melissa had predicted, most people in the crowd looked at me like a pariah. I drew stares, sneers, and even a few verbal insults, but I didn’t care. I needed to make sure Ethan was alright. I found Melissa a few feet away from the locker room entrance.
“Hey, Em. Rough game, huh?” she greeted me with a frown.
“That’s an understatement. Have you seen Ethan?”
“I think he’s still out on the field talking to the national networks. He already gave me a soundbite. I’m waiting for Coach Shields, and then I’m getting out of here. Do you think we’re still on for dinner?”
“You probably have a better idea about that than I do. How’s he taking this?”
“He’s pissed off,” Melissa answered, her voice blunt.
“Everyone else is going home. I’ll see what Ethan wants to do and get back to you.”
The coach emerged from the locker room with three assistants following at his heels. “Alright, Melissa. Let’s get this over with. I have tapes to watch.”
He continued down the hallway without slowing down and Melissa took off after him, waving goodbye over her shoulder. I walked through the wide tunnel and out onto the field.
I spotted Ethan on the sidelines, just as Melissa told me I would. But he wasn’t talking to any reporters. From where I stood, it didn’t look like he was doing much talking at all. Ethan sat on a white plastic folding chair with a busty blonde Dallas cheerleader in his lap.
What the fuck is going on?
I stepped back into the darkness of the tunnel and kept my eyes on Ethan. From a distance, I could make out that the woman was stroking his face. He kept shaking his head, but I couldn’t see his expression so I had no idea what was happening. I stood there watching them for what seemed like hours. Finally, the blonde untangled herself from my boyfriend and returned to the rest of her squad. Ethan stood and started to cross the field, and I stepped back out of the tunnel. Relief filled his face when he saw me.
“Thank God. Seeing you is the only thing that could possibly make me feel better right now.” He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I played terrible. I’m sorry you had to sit through that.” He kissed the top of my head, careful not to drip any sweat on me. He smelled like dirt, salt, and fresh sod.
“How are you feeling?” I asked. “Physically, I mean.”
“I’m fine,” he assured me. “But I’m ready to get the hell out of here. Just let me pop into the locker room and pull off these pads. I’ll shower at home. Did you tell everyone to just head to the house?”
“I wasn’t sure if you were still in the mood for company,” I explained, following him back down the tunnel.
“It’s Thanksgiving. And it’s our first holiday together. I don’t want a shitty game to ruin the rest of the day.” He kissed my forehead. “I love you, Em. Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
He disappeared into the locker room and I slid down onto a bench. I sent a group text telling everyone that dinner was still on, then pretended to be enthralled by my phone to avoid the stares of the fans around me.
Ethan never mentioned being involved with one of the Dallas cheerleaders. But it’s not like I didn’t know what I was signing up for. What I almost walked up on had to have been innocent. He’s too at ease to be up to something.
I realized that was the same lie I told myself when Ben started acting strange. But I also knew that Ethan was nothing like Ben. We hadn’t gone into much detail with each other when it came to our histories with other people. But Ethan had acknowledged that he’d taken advantage of no strings attached sex when the opportunity presented itself. I wasn’t a complete stranger to one-night stands, so I wasn’t exactly in a place to judge.
Maybe she’s just an old friend. Maybe they used to hook up. All that matters is that Ethan and I are together now. I know he’s devastated. But he’s setting his pain aside to make this a special holiday for me. The least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt with the blonde.
Ethan stepped out of the locker room in his game pants and a white sleeveless t-shirt. He held his gym bag in one hand and reached for me with the other.
“Ready to go home?”
I nodded and stepped into his embrace. “Yes. Let’s go home.”
***
Ethan did a fantastic job of pretending that nothing was wrong while my friends and family were over for Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone silently agreed that we’d had more than enough football for the day, so we turned the television to a Friends marathon while we moved around the kitchen.
Ethan’s house still had its original floorplan, which was the opposite of open concept. Fortunately, the kitchen had been made with a staff in mind, so there was plenty of room for a large table and a wall mounted TV.
I’d cheated and ordered the turkey from a local deli, but Melissa and I were making all of the sides from scratch. Linda kept the cocktails flowing, and everyone relaxed, played cards, and studied the renovation plans Ethan had finalized during his injury. Conversation flowed smoothly and before I realized it, it was well past sundown. Linda and Henry left to get in line for the Black Friday sales; everyone else slowly followed, finally leaving Ethan and me alone. That’s when I realized he wasn’t as okay as he’d been letting on.
“I’m going to watch film,” he told me, padding toward his office. “I’ll be at it all night. You may as well just go home.”
“Are you sure?” I called after him. “Like you said earlier, it’s our first holiday together.”
“Yes,” he said, his back still turned to me. “It’s our first holiday together, and we spent it together. And now I need to stay up all night to catch up on what I should have been focusing on all along. The team is having a losing season. If we don’t turn things around, the playoffs are out of the question. I don’t mean to be an asshole, Emily. But I’ve really got to get some work done.”
“And you want me to leave?” I pressed with a hurt frown.
“No, I don’t want you to leave. But right now, I can’t afford the distraction of having you here.”
Images of the blonde flashed through my head, but I decided not to confront him with my suspicions. I wanted to learn more a
bout her, about them, on my own before I asked him any questions.
“Fine, I’ll go. Linda and I have that early education workshop in Salem this weekend,” I reminded him. “We’re leaving late tomorrow night and we’ll be home early Sunday. I’ll call you when I get back to town.”
I wanted Ethan to argue and insist that we had to see each other before I left. But he didn’t. Instead, he gave me a quick, emotionless peck and told me to have a good time. I left the house feeling more defeated than Ethan had looked after the game.
Ethan’s mood didn’t seem to improve at all over the weekend. I texted him between classes and seminars, and he always sent a quick, polite reply. But I felt a strange distance growing between us, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. On Saturday night, I told Linda what I’d seen after the Thanksgiving game. She immediately packed our things, checked out of our hotel room, and drove me back to Portland. She spent the trip alternating between assuring me that everything would be okay and vowing to castrate Ethan if he turned out to be a cheater.
I spent the trip googling the cheerleader on my tablet. Her name was Susannah Cross. She was just nineteen years old. Ethan’s last year with Dallas had been her first. Other than that, I wasn’t really able to find much information about her. When Linda pulled up outside my apartment, I was sure we’d made a huge mistake coming home early.
“If I show up unannounced at Ethan’s, he’ll feel like I don’t trust him,” I insisted, my fingers twisting in my lap.
“Emily, I really doubt there’s ever been anything between Ethan and Susannah,” she assured me again. “I mean, he’s ten years older than her. It’s one thing to like your women young. But that young is just one step above pedophile. I think there’s something else behind Ethan’s attitude. And I think the sooner you talk it out, the better.”
“I’m sorry we had to cut the trip short. I know you were looking forward to our shopping day.”
“Don’t worry about it. Henry will be thrilled to find out I didn’t get a chance to spend any money. Go talk to Ethan, Emily. And let me know how it goes.”
“I’ll check in soon,” I promised.
I climbed out of Linda’s car, fetched my overnight bag from her trunk, and walked wearily up my staircase. I dropped everything on my coffee table and sank down on my sofa with my phone.
“Linda and I came home early. Feel like company?”
Ethan replied within seconds.
“Sure.”
Well, he could have been a little more enthusiastic. But it’s better than “I need to work.”
I pulled my hair into a high bun, took a quick shower to rinse off from the drive, and threw on a comfortable, Stallion blue sweat suit. I wasn’t sure if I’d be returning home that night or not, so I grabbed my overnight bag again and left the apartment.
When I arrived at Ethan’s, I left the bag in my backseat and stepped tentatively to the front door. I rang the bell and waited on the porch. A few moments later, Ethan appeared and ushered me into the house.
“Baby, you don’t have to ring the bell,” he instructed. “How was the conference? Why did you guys come home early?”
“The conference was fine. We came home early because… because…”
I’d worked out a whole speech during my drive over. But in front of Ethan, words failed me. I was terrified my suspicions were true.
Ethan lowered his voice and pulled me down beside him on the sofa. “Emily, what’s going on? Did something happen in Salem? Holy fuck, did Ben corner you again?”
“No,” I assured him, shaking my head. “Ben hasn’t so much as looked at me since the day of the assembly. Linda and I came home early because I saw you and Susannah Cross together on Thanksgiving and haven’t been able to get it off of my mind since.”
Ethan’s face turned bright red and he sank back against the sofa. “I wish you’d have said something Thursday. Susannah and I are just friends, Emily. We’ve never been anything more. For Christ’s sake, she’s a child.”
I turned toward him and twirled a stray strand of hair around my finger, doing my best to keep my voice level. “That’s what I’ve been telling myself. But after everyone left Thursday night, you got so distant, so cold. You literally shoved me out of the house without even a good kiss goodbye. You shut me out, Ethan. What the hell was I supposed to think?”
Ethan tensed his shoulders. “You were supposed to believe me when I said I had a lot of work to do. Look around, Emily. Does it look like I’ve been having fun with a cheerleader all weekend?”
I pulled my eyes off of him and surveyed the room. Two laptops sat on the coffee table, both with field footage paused on the screens. The television on the wall was replaying a third game, and scraps of paper with notes and diagrams cluttered the floor around us. Discarded sports bottles and fast food wrappers put the final touch on the ambiance.
“Every waking moment I haven’t been at practice, I’ve been on this couch studying film for our upcoming games. I lost focus while I was hurt, and Dallas snuck up on me. I won’t let that happen again. I can’t afford to.”
“Football isn’t everything,” I reminded him impatiently and regretted the words immediately.
“Don’t you think I know that?” he countered, his eyes narrowed, voice harsh. “I wake up every day knowing that I’m one bad hit away from retirement. That’s why I finished college before going pro, and why I’ve invested more of my money than I’ve spent. Football isn’t everything, and it’s fleeting. But it also happens to be what I’m best at. I’m capable of breaking every league record that exists for quarterbacks, as long as I accept nothing less than perfection from myself.”
“And what am I supposed to do with myself while you’re chasing your records and perfection?” I asked and took a deep breath. “I want a partner, Ethan. I want to know that no matter what happens, we always have each other at the end of the day. How am I supposed to feel like that if you shut me out when things get tough? So you had a bad game. You need to focus on film. I understand all of that. But what I don’t understand is why you can’t have me under the same roof. Did you ever stop to think that I might want to help you? I don’t know a ton about game strategy. But I could have at least made sure you had something better than Taco Shack for dinner.”
Sad, frustrated tears fell from my eyes and Ethan met my gaze with a blend of awe and confusion.
“I’m so sorry, Emily. You’re absolutely right. I thought I was doing you a favor by asking you to leave. I know I can be difficult to deal with sometimes. I was trying to spare you from my terrible mood. In my defense, I’ve never had someone who genuinely wanted to take care of me. I promise I’ll never take that for granted.”
He leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I wasn’t trying to shut you out. And if I’d known you saw me with Susannah after the game, I would have explained the situation immediately. I wish you’d have said something about it on Thursday.”
“You did an excellent job of pretending everything was fine after the game. I didn’t want to ruin the rest of the day with accusations. I mean, it wasn’t like I caught the two of you sucking face. Though she did look way too comfortable in your lap.”
“Susannah is like a little sister to me,” he explained. “She went through a tough breakup with one of my Dallas teammates last season, around the same time I was injured. We got to know each other pretty well on the sidelines. When you saw us, we were getting caught up on each other’s new relationships.”
“When I realized how young she is, I knew it had to be innocent. But before then…”
“You wondered if I was like Ben,” he finished.
I nodded. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have said something on Thursday instead of letting it fester.”
Ethan held me in his arms and looked down at me, his eyes heavy and serious. “Emily, I need you to know that I would never hurt you like that. I’m not Ben. I’m not perfect, but I love you.”
�
��I love you too. I trust you, Ethan. But you can’t shut me out when things get tough,” I told him again. “You said you know football is fleeting and the reason you finished school before going pro and why you invest your money. You’re planning for a future after your football career. Do you want me to be a part of that future?”
“Of course I do,” he answered immediately.
“Then I need you to invest in us. I know you’re busy. I know there will be days and weeks when we don’t get to spend much time together. But that’s exactly why we have to take advantage of the time we do have.”
Ethan nodded and lowered his lips to mine. “No more shutting you out. I promise. I would have loved to have you here these past few days. To be honest, I was afraid I’d sound like an ass if I asked you to stay and take care of me. Think about it. ‘Hey baby, how about you feed and clean up after me while I ignore you and watch football tapes.’ You have to admit, it isn’t the most romantic proposition.”
“It’s not,” I agreed, relief making me feel giddy. “And don’t get me wrong, I have no intentions of becoming your personal caretaker. But when things are tough, I’d rather be here helping however I can than alone wondering if you’re okay. And keep in mind, this street runs two ways. You’ll get to return the favor in the days leading up to parent-teacher conferences, field trips, and the entire last month of school,” I warned with a grin.
“Give and take, huh?” Ethan countered with a smile of his own. “I think I can handle that. Now that we’ve sorted all of this out, why don’t we take advantage of our time like you suggested earlier?”
He gave me a sexy grin and pulled me back into his arms. He rose to his feet, carrying me toward the veranda instead of the bedroom.
“Where are we going?”
He nuzzled his lips against my cheek. “I have a surprise for you.”
I wrapped my arms around Ethan’s neck while he fumbled with the doorknob. He carried me outside and I heard a strange hum from the direction of the pool. I turned toward the noise and saw a brand new spa.
“When did this happen?” I asked.
