by Abby Wood
He nodded. Hating how he searched for similarities between Stewart and Addison. The angled chin, more prominent in Stewart, coupled with the sharp clear eyes. But Curt's were blue and Addison's were green. He could still see Stuart's black hair mixed in with the gray that if he tried hard enough might match Addison's hair in color.
"Why don't you come up to the office? We can talk about the offer you presented," Curt said.
He shook his head. "Offers closed."
Curt stopped him from walking away with a hand on his arm. "We can work something out. I'm expanding to Japan by the end of next year. You can be a silent partner."
He hid his shock. A foolish move on Curt's part. Anyone with money would want in on a sure bet. "Not interested."
Curt tilted his head and studied him. He stepped back. The curious manner Curt displayed reminded him of Addison when she wanted to question him. He itched to pound Addison's father right here on the sideway.
But, he'd made a promise to Addison. He wouldn't say a thing to her father.
"I'll see you around," he muttered, walking away.
He left Curt standing on the sidewalk. He owed no one his reasons for how he chose to do business. He was finding out when it came to what Addison wanted, he'd do anything to step up and make her happy.
Surprised and taken back at how he'd pulled Addison into his life, he slowed his pace. He'd never done anything for anyone before, except for Donny and Professor Frank, and he wondered over the significance of his and Addy's relationship.
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Nathan!" Addison ran around to the backside of the couch. "Stop."
Nathan stalked toward her. She sidestepped the furniture, keeping the object between her and Nathan. "I'm serious. I need to stay at my house tonight."
"Not happening, doll." He vaulted over the back of the couch and captured her. "I want you here."
She sighed, letting him pick her up, and then wound her arms and legs around him. "But, you're not going to be here, and I want to go home, clean, check on Mrs. Lindsay, and throw out my plants because I'm sure they all died."
"Move in permanently with me." He leaned against the couch, holding her. "There's no reason to keep your house. You don't need to hold on or have the expense when you're here with me."
"That's not true," she said.
He ran his hands the slope of her ass and hitched her higher, readjusting his hold. "It fucking is. You've stopped by there once since staying with me. Once. And, that was to grab more clothes."
She buried her face in his neck. Almost five weeks they'd known each other.
The level of dependency on him scared her. She'd relied on herself for so long, his constant need to have her near him worried her. Not that she wanted distance.
The thought of being away from him one night, whether staying at his house or hers, almost made her physically sick. She shouldn't be this dependent on him.
She'd gone from cold to hot, and in the process lost her independence. To rely on him for her happiness said a lot about her, and she hated what she viewed as a weakness creeping into their relationship
"Give me time," she said.
"There's no reason to wait." He moved his shoulder, nudging her to look at him. "It's black and white. Either you're here or you're not. You're with me or you're alone. Nothing's changed since I went over the rules from the beginning."
She gazed into his eyes, and her stomach settled. She took his words for truth, but she couldn't help being scared. "Don't you ever wonder why we need each other so much?"
"No," he said.
"Nathan…it's not normal," she whispered. "Just thinking about you being gone overnight on a business trip leaves me questioning everything. I don't want to need you to function."
His gaze warmed. "That's exactly how I want you to react."
She couldn't look away. He'd grown from a paradox to counting on her to balance him. There were times late at night when she pretended to sleep, and he held her with a desperation that confused her. For how much he controlled every aspect of their relationship, she was afraid he needed her with the same validity she was feeling.
What happens when they stopped seeing each other? Would they both survive or would they forever reach for something more, always craving that all-encompassing passion that ruled even their relationship?
How could she separate need versus true love?
"I think we need this break." She let go of him and slid down his body. "It's only twenty-four hours. You can think about what we're doing and where you plan for us to go from here."
"No." He stepped away. "You're staying here."
She shook her head. "Nathan, I need to—"
He grabbed her, hauling her toward the wall and pinned her there with his body. "You have no say in if you come and go."
She quivered against him, but her mind refused to shut down. "You can make me beg, and I will," she whispered. "You know, I'll do anything to please you. Do you want me here because you demand me to stay or do you want to know I'm willingly living here because I want you?"
"Doesn't matter," he said.
His mouth captured hers. Not gently, not to excite her, but greedy and possessive. He punished her.
Pain came from her lips biting into her teeth. She moved her head side to side, but he reached up and held her by her hair, forcing her to open her mouth and take his tongue. She wanted to bite, to scream, and push him away.
But all she could concentrate on was the way his tongue stroked hers, until his lips eased back and he took his time to please her. He forced her legs apart with his knee and shoved his thigh up into the apex of her jeans. She panted at the contact with her sex, and her legs relaxed until she sat on his thigh, grinding against him.
His other hand grabbed her T-shirt. She clutched at his arms as the force of him ripping her shirt right off her threatened to take her away from him. Then he dragged her top down her arms and took her with him to the floor.
Panic filled her as he hovered above her, working on his belt. She clutched his suit coat, gasping for breath. He was leaving, and he may never come back.
With his slacks opened, his cock hard and ready, Nathan undid her jeans and pulled them off her along with her panties. She latched on to him, but he shoved her hands away, pinning them above her head in one of his hands.
"You have no choice." He thrust into her.
She screamed at the force, the shock, the pain. Unable to move, her core warmed and she shuddered underneath him, taking his hardness. Aware of the natural lubrications easing his way, she couldn't hide what he did to her when he took the choice from her.
She loved the position he put her in. She loved him. She'd die without this.
Her back arched. The muscles in her lower stomach fluttered and she panted, reaching for the place only Nathan could take her. His hardness stroked her exactly how she needed to find release.
Then Nathan stopped, deeply seated inside of her. She whined, wanting him to continue.
"Look at me." He growled, yanking on her hands. "You will not leave me. Do you hear me?"
His eyes hardened and darkened. A swell of pain gathered inside of her as she realized what she viewed in his face. He was scared.
The curtain he held so protectively around him all the time had slipped. She lost the fight at the gift he bestowed her. She swallowed hard and nodded. "I won't leave," she whispered.
For several seconds he continued looking down at her. The only movement between them was his cock throbbing and her pussy rhythmic clenching him as the passion between them begged to explode in a fiery finale.
He swiftly pulled out of her and stood. She stared in disbelief. What did she do? Why wasn't he going to finish?
"Nathan?" She pushed herself to a sitting position and grabbed her jeans, holding it to the front of her.
"Get dressed." He swept up her ripped T-shirt and cleaned his still hard cock before tucking himself back in and zipping his slacks. "I'm late, and need to go. You can shut a
nd lock the door after I leave."
Naked, emotionally raw and unable to comprehend what happened, she blinked at him not knowing what to do. "But we were…"
"We were what, Addy?" He paused and scanned her body. His gaze flared at the red mark left on her arms. "While I'm gone, you won't touch yourself. You won't come. Maybe then you'll realize that I know what is best for you and only I can give you the release that you need to be truly happy."
She clamped her teeth. You son of a bitch.
"I am the only one who knows you and what you need to feel good. I can make you hurt, I can bring you pain, and I can make sure you know I give a fucking damn." He sighed heavily. "I thought you were there, and you understood me. You've disappointed me. My only regret is that I can't stay here and punish you the right way. To wipe any doubt you have over who you are and what I am. Remember this. Tomorrow night, I'll make sure you know your place in my life."
The corner of his mouth lifted, but there was nothing jovial about the grin. He was right. Everything he spoke of, ordered her to do, asked of her was what she wanted. She'd played right into his hand.
"Walk me out." He strolled toward the hallway.
A few seconds later, she followed him silently. When he kissed her goodbye, and told her to mind, she nodded without saying a word. She locked the door behind him the way he requested. Without waiting to make sure he really left, she walked up the stairs naked and proceeded to get dressed.
Covered and more in control, she proceeded to pack a suitcase. She ignored the tears rolling down her cheeks.
If she stayed in his house. If she followed his command. If she allowed herself to love him, she'd lose herself in the process, and she feared if she let him have everything from her, she'd never survive.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The phone rang. Addison curled around the pillow clutched to her chest and stared at her cell on the nightstand. She didn't have the strength to shut off the phone.
She couldn't shut off the phone. Because it was Nathan calling. She'd walked out of his life, and yet she couldn't face not having any contact with him.
The ringing stopped. She flung back the blanket and sat on the edge of the bed. There was no reason not to go into work. Nathan was scheduled to be gone until tonight. He couldn't stop her, and the dolls depended on her.
After she completed the day, she'd hide in the house and prepare to face Nathan. Sure, he had ways to get inside, but between now and then, she'd plan. Somehow, she'd convince him that continuing down the road they were going was not a good idea. For her or him.
She walked straight into the shower, went through her routine and a half hour later, walked out her front door dressed in a black cocktail dress despite it being five o'clock in the morning. Her first customer wanted her dressed as if she were going out for a night on the town.
None of the dolls would question her heavy black eyeliner and letting her hair fall wherever it wanted. She'd hidden her blotchy face and swollen eyes from crying all night under her disguise.
Ten minutes later, she walked into Carpool Dolls and spotted someone who put a genuine smile on her face.
Joan stood in front of her, hands clasped together, wearing a blue denim skirt, above the knees but not quite mini, and an expensive silk pink blouse and pink high heels. Her brown hair, trimmed and brushing the tops of her shoulders softened the hardness around her eyes. Unless you knew Joan's story, the skittish look that was always on the surface resembled shyness.
She was perfect. The clients who wanted someone young and cute, would line up in droves to hire her.
"Hey, Joan," she said, smiling her pleasure. "You look wonderful, and the outfit fits perfectly. How do you feel?"
"Nervous," Joan whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"That's what I'm here for." She squeezed Joan's hand. "How's Lilly?"
For the first time, Joan's shoulders relaxed and her mouth softened. "She's enrolled in school. They have an afterschool program where she can stay until I finish work. She was so excited this morning when I walked her to her classroom. I think I was more nervous than she was."
"And the clothes fit her?" she asked.
Joan nodded. "Thank you again. She's never had brand new clothes before. You'd think I gave her the best thing possible. You can take out what I owe you out of my check…when I get one."
"No thanks necessary. Every doll working for me gets the same treatment, and Lilly is a mini doll, my princess. You'll see." She checked her watch. "Let's walk out to the front. We'll be going together on the first ride. Once we arrive in Portland, I'll help you find the client who hired you for the trip from Portland back to Vancouver. Once he drops you off, you'll be four blocks from the office. You can return to the building and wait for me. I should be twenty minutes behind you. Does that sound easy enough?"
"I think so…" Joan followed her into the elevator.
"You'll do fine." She walked out onto the sidewalk at the same time an SUV pulled to the curb. "Right on time."
She opened the backdoor and waited for Joan to climb in, and then slid into the passenger seat. "Hi, Quint."
"Addison, you look beautiful as ever." Quint pulled the car away from the curb, while looking in the rearview mirror. "How did I get so lucky to have two dolls this morning?"
"This is Joan. She's new and going on her first ride along this morning. I knew you wouldn't mind." She glanced behind her and smiled. "Joan, this is Quint Salles. He's been using Carpool Dolls for almost two years on a bi-weekly basis."
"Hello, Mr. Salles." Joan's cheeks flushed, but Addison was happy to hear her speak loud enough Quint could hear her from the front seat.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Joan, and please call me Quint." Quint accelerated onto I-5 and glanced at Addison. "Don't tell me you're going to stop riding."
She shook her head. "No, not at all. This is my favorite part of the job. Besides, I'd miss my clients, and I need the break from all the paperwork at the office."
Several minutes went by. Addison viewed the stopped traffic exiting to Delta Park as they zoomed down the carpool lane.
"So, you're seeing Rafferty…" Quint set his cruise control. "Lucky man."
Her breath hitched. The pain of leaving Nathan after he'd left the house resurrected. Not that it ever left.
"Thank you," she said.
There was no way she'd be able to explain her relationship with Nathan to Quint. She couldn't decide if they were even together before she left him last night. They'd expressed no love or warnings that they were falling in love. She knew in her heart, she'd connected with him and he made her feel like she was in love. Whatever they'd had, she wouldn't talk about it with others. Soon, she'd explain that what they'd shared was over to anyone who asked.
Life would go back to normal.
Fifteen minutes later, she wished Quint a good day, and walked with Joan down to the corner of Third Street and Alder. At this time of day, the streets were semi-safe, but she'd taught all the dolls how to handle themselves in any situation.
"Okay, you've got ten minutes until your ride arrives. Every morning, you'll get a print out of what kind of car, and the name of the client. Today, I'll fill you in with the important information and oversee you." Addison hooked her purse over her left shoulder. "Gerry Renolt drives a BMW, and has one of the nicest mustaches you'll ever see on a man. He's quiet, so you'll only have to introduce yourself and thank him when he drops you off in Vancouver. Just relax, and you'll do fine."
"Okay," Joan said, fiddling with the pocket of her skirt.
"Now, I'm going to walk down the street to the little café and grab me a coffee while you wait. I'll be able to see you the whole time." Addison pointed. "As you know, safety is important, so stand up straight, look around you, and act like this is your right to be here. If anyone approaches you or asks you for anything, you say, "No, thank you."
Joan glanced away, smiling. "I can do that."
"Excellent." She squeeze
d Joan's arm. "Remember you have a cell phone now. The number for emergency services is clearly marked, along with my cell phone number. Don't be shy about using either one. Your safety is our priority. I rather have you call for no reason than to hesitate."
"I won't need to call," Joan said.
"Honey," she said, lowering her voice. "I want you to know you no longer are responsible for yourself. You're my responsibility. If nothing else, think about Lilly. Give her what is normal, and show her how it's a good thing to have someone you can rely on."
Tears pooled in Joan's eyes and she nodded.
Addison's chest tightened. Joan wasn't the first woman from the streets to realize that being a Carpool Doll meant she was no longer alone. She understood the confusion and reluctance that came with trusting another person. Someday, Joan would come to rely on others out of habit and not necessity.
"Okay, I'll see you back at the office." She turned and walked down the sidewalk.
Inside Café Quick, her cell phone rang. She gazed out the window. Joan stood confidently on the sidewalk without her phone in her hand.
Her heart raced. Nathan hadn't called since before she'd left for work.
She reached inside her purse and checked the screen. Not recognizing the number, she pushed the button. "Hello?"
Silence.
"Hello?" she repeated.
A harsh breath came over the line. "You left," Nathan said.
She closed her eyes at the onslaught of relief over hearing his voice, no matter how angry. "I had to."
"Fuck that." He exhaled. "I can't talk now. I'm walking into a meeting. Be at our house tonight."
"I can't," she whispered.
"You will." Ruffling sound came over the phone and she could hear faint voices in the background as if he covered the phone. "Addison. It's not over."
"Nathan…" She lowered her voice. "Give me a few days, and then I'll meet with you. We can talk over dinner."
"No. I'll find you," he said. "It's not fucking over."
She pressed a hand to her stomach. "Please, I—"
He disconnected the call. She held her hand in front of her and stared at the screen. He wasn't going to give her time to figure out their relationship. He'd taken her choice away, just like he'd threatened.
