“There’s always another choice,” she told him.
“Not if I don’t want to think myself a coward.”
“That’s a pretty convincing reason,” she admitted. A second brick settled in her gut beside the first. “You’re not a coward, not after the way you broke into Ursa’s mansion to get the boys. It would be a true shame if you thought you were.”
Vane decided to change the subject. “I’m bringing you and Rexson’s kids to the Palace this afternoon.”
August blinked. “You call the king by his name?”
“He’s got one like everyone else, doesn’t he?”
“I guess he does,” said August.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do next? Will you stay in Podrar?”
“I haven’t had time to think about that. Val, I’ve been a wreck, a wreck and a horrible guardian. When we got here, I couldn’t calm Melly for anything. Joslyn’s been ill in the mornings. I think she might be pregnant, but obviously I didn’t ask. I hardly know the woman. I just watched the baby while she was feeling bad, and Viola was scared of me because I’m not her mother. I fixed Kansten’s hair for her once, and she seemed pleased, or I thought she did. But now she’s avoided me the last few days, and I haven’t a clue why. Neslan, he nearly died on my watch, and….”
Vane’s excitement about Joslyn turned to alarm. “Neslan? What happened to Neslan?”
“He’s fine now. Ilana cured him, but he got bit by a venomous snake in the woods.”
“I go there all the time,” said Vane. “I’ve seen a few snakes, but never too many, never one I recognized as poisonous. That doesn’t sound as though it could have been your fault, and anyway, if Neslan’s recovered—and he has, he’s running around outside with the rest of the kids—what difference does it make?”
“None, I suppose. It was terrifying, though. I really thought we’d lose him, and after everything Ursa put him and his brothers through…. Val, I was alone with them and Kansten when it happened. I carried him home. My arms still ache. The whole time I could picture the king and queen when they found out what I’d let happen. I couldn’t get them out of my mind. They’ve been so kind to me, much kinder than I deserve, and….”
“You listen here, you deserve that kindness and more.”
On a spark of impulse, Vane kissed her. She was startled at first, and some words that were about to leave her mouth dissolved in the back of her throat. When she realized those words were not the only things to disappear—that the bricks in her stomach had evaporated too—she kissed him back. For twenty glorious seconds, she forgot she had no home and no way to earn a living; she forgot he was soon to be a duke. She let go of her unfounded guilts and her reasonable apprehensions. They stood there smiling at one another, though Vane’s expression turned more serious by the instant.
Vane was realizing that delaying Ursa’s request would only make it more of a shock, and more unpleasant, for her sister. He took a seat against the wall, and August joined him.
“Ursa left a message for you,” he said. The flush of pink to August’s cheeks was gone in a flash.
“What kind of message? Another threat?”
“No, nothing like that. She wants you to visit her.”
August gulped air.
“I think you should,” said Vane. “She’s scared and alone. She’s utterly lost.”
“Good,” said August, though her voice shook. “I’m glad. Maybe now she has some idea of what the boys were feeling all that time she kept them locked up.”
“Ursa will be locked up the rest of her life. And she should be. It’s not that I feel sorry for the woman, but I do think you should visit her at least this once. I don’t know what she wants to tell you, but it’s not a threat. She’s in no position to threaten you. She’s completely broken. I promise you, I’ve never seen anything like it. Arbora and Dorane are faring much better than her, and she is your sister.”
August turned defensive. “Would you visit your uncle?”
“I never knew my uncle. He never put a roof over my head. This isn’t about Zalski, not at all. It’s about you, and you’ll regret it later if you don’t go see her. Listen, I’ll go with you. I can wait right outside.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll be there with you, at the prison. August, it’s only natural you’d have doubts about this, given how Ursa’s treated you. If you could have seen her yesterday, you’d understand. You need to do this, I’m telling you that as….”
“As what?” she demanded. “As a friend? I’m pretty sure friends don’t kiss like we just did.”
Vane put a hand on her shoulder. As her voice had turned gruffer, his softened. “Have I earned your trust to some degree? That’s what it comes down to.”
August twisted a strand of hair around her finger. She bit her lip. “When you put it that way, Val….”
“I won’t let you go alone, I swear.”
“And after that visit?” she asked. She shrugged his hand away. “What are we? We can’t have a relationship, not if you’re a duke. A duke couldn’t marry me. I’m a commoner, sure, but I won’t be someone’s tart.”
“I’m not your run-of-the-mill nobleman, August. I’m a sorcerer raised by an innkeeper. To put it bluntly, marrying a commoner would be the least controversial thing about me. Anyone I marry, peasant or countess, would have to deal with a whole mess of conflict. As for us two…. I don’t know where this will go, in all honesty, but if we do want to marry at some point, we’ll marry. I wouldn’t throw you aside for the sake of court gossip, or of threats. At this point you have only my word for that, but….”
“Would there really be threats?”
“There might be. And they could have nothing to do with your birth at all, but with me, with my magic. If threats did come….”
“I’ve faced threats before, and I won’t let threats scare me off. You only have my word for that, so I guess we’re on equal footing, aren’t we? For now, I guess we should take things one day at a time. At least, I’d hate to go our separate ways when we get back to Herezoth and wonder later what might have happened between us. I’d like to see this through. Wherever it might lead, however hard it gets, that’s better than not knowing, isn’t it?”
“It’s better than not knowing,” he agreed. Then he paused. “Does this mean you’ll visit Ursa?”
“I’ll see her. It’s against my instincts, but I’ll go, if you go with me.”
“The choice is yours. I won’t think any less of you if you decide you can’t go through with it.”
“I know the choice is mine. Val, you’ve met with her in jail. You’ve struck me from the first as someone with good judgment, and you say I should go, so I guess…. I guess I’m choosing to trust you, like you said.”
“Thank you,” he told her. “That means a lot.”
The words to express what August felt were beyond her grasp, hidden in the fog of the most wonderful incoherence in her thoughts she had ever known. She would have liked to say she was grateful for Val’s friendship; that he made it less scary not knowing where she might go, or what would happen to her; that his smile reassured her, and to know the king and queen respected him made them less imposing figures to her; that she rarely in her short life had felt so relieved as when he had walked in just a few minutes past; that she admired him tremendously for taking up his title, and she was sure he would work much good both at court and outside it. The words escaped her, so she leaned her head on his shoulder and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Then the clock in the living room struck noon. They could hear it, and August said, “I need to go fix lunch.”
“I’ll help you,” Vane offered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Of Jobs and Jails
That night, after dinner, August was settled in the room she had previously occupied at the Crystal Palace. She felt exhilarated as well as terrified to think of the coming months. The trip back to Podrar had exhausted her, and she wanted nothing more than to s
leep, but it was still too early for that, so she was reading the tale of Sir Adage while letting her mind wander here and there. Should she go back to Yangerton? Try to find a station somewhere in Podrar? She was qualified for little in terms of work. She sewed well enough to mend her own garments and fix a ripped lace lining, but to try to establish herself as a seamstress seemed a poor idea. She was decent enough in the kitchen, but fixed no dish particularly well, and lacked the experience for a cooking post in a tavern or inn.
She could clean, she supposed. She hated cleaning, but if she could find someone to take her on as a maid, that seemed her best option for gainful employment.
Lost in her musings, she almost didn’t notice when a summons came from the queen. August followed a butler to Gracia’s antechamber, where Gracia was still clad in the day’s gown and jewelry; that sight had always intimidated August, and did so all the more after several days of separation. August curtsied respectfully, and the queen led the way to the room’s lush armchairs.
“I wanted to thank you,” Gracia said. “From my heart, dear, thank you. Valkin told me you saved Neslan’s life after that serpent bit him, getting him back to the Portegs’ home as quickly as you did.”
August did not expect such a warm greeting, as guilty as she felt for the snake incident in the first place. She muttered, “It was nothing, Your Highness,” staring more past Gracia to the wall beyond than at her. The queen continued:
“I have some business to discuss with you. You’ll consider it an offer, but I would deem it more a favor to myself, I truly would. Melly seems to have grown attached to you while you were in Traigland together, and now her nanny has to leave us. The woman’s with child herself, and her aunt is ailing. Would you care to replace her? You would have a set of rooms here in the Palace, and meals as well for no cost. You’d have one day off a week, whichever day you choose, and earn forty gold pieces a month.
August’s jaw almost dropped. The figure seemed exorbitant, especially without rent or food to pay for. It was double what she could expect to earn elsewhere. “Forty gold pieces a month?” she repeated.
“It’s the same we paid Deana.”
“That’s too much for me. I’m on my own, Your Highness. That amount of money, it’s….”
Gracia smiled at her. “I consider the wage fair compensation for the work, and as such, I won’t pay less. You don’t have to take the post, of course. I know you hail from Yangerton, and if you’d prefer to return there….”
“I wouldn’t. Your Highness, I adore your children, and I can’t imagine I’m half as good with them as you believe, but I’m honored you would trust me to care for Melly. She and I did get along better after the first day. I’d be honored to take this post.”
“If you’d like a day to think things over….”
“I don’t believe I need it. I don’t have other prospects, and I’d like to stay in Podrar, at least for a while. Your Highness, thank you. Thank you ever so much.”
“You’re most welcome, my dear. As I said, you do me a good turn in this. Now, you’d better dart off, if you don’t mind. Rexson and I hoped to speak with Valkin before he goes to bed.”
“I’ll go at once,” said August. “Your Highness, again, I…. Thank you.”
August left the room feeling unsteady on her feet. She had not been gone five minutes when the king came for Gracia, and without a word the two walked down to Valkin’s chambers, where they found the boy sitting on the rug, elbow on his knee, staring at his empty fireplace. He glanced over at his parents and said, “It’s not time for bed yet, is it?”
“Not yet,” said Rexson. “We wanted to ask you if something’s the matter.”
“Not really,” he said, “no.”
“Are you certain?” asked Gracia. “You haven’t been yourself today. You’ve been distracted since you came back.” She gave him a hand to help him to his feet, and they all sat on a settee placed against the wall, Valkin in the middle.
“Nothing’s really the matter. I guess I feel uneasy about lying so much while I was in Traigland: lying about who I was, who my parents were…. It just feels wrong. Kansten was really nice, you know?”
“Kansten?” said Gracia.
“Kora’s oldest,” said Rexson. He caught Gracia’s eye, and as angry with him as she was, she consented to his mute request to speak to his son alone. If there was one thing she could say for the man, he was an excellent father, so she excused herself with, “I’ll just go see if Hune’s washed up. He’d gladly go to bed dirty if we’d let him.” The queen darted off after kissing Valkin on the cheek.
Rexson asked, “Kansten’s about your age, isn’t she?”
“We found her uncle’s spellbooks and tried to do magic as a joke, but she couldn’t, and she got really upset. She said her mother and uncle are sorcerers, so she should be one too, and…. She told me a lot about herself, Father. I told her nothing but lies. I mentioned the Palace once without thinking and had to say you worked here.”
“I do a fair amount of work here.”
“Not as a butler you don’t.”
“Not as a butler,” Rexson conceded. He was trying to get over his shock that Kora Porteg’s daughter worked not a stitch of magic. “Son, you shouldn’t lie under ordinary circumstances, and certainly never to me, or to your mother. You hate deceit, I know that, and I’m sorry I had to ask you not to tell people in Traigland who you were. You and your brothers hold a unique position because I happen to be king, and while you understand what that entails, other children might not comprehend how important it is to be discreet.
“First of all, it’s not a bad thing your conscience bothers you for having lied. You know deception’s wrong, and that’s to your credit. Secondly, I’m proud of you for obeying me and keeping your identity to yourself. Let me explain why I asked something so difficult: the monsters who put you and your brothers in that basement, we didn’t capture them at the time we rescued you. More than anything else we wanted to get you home, which we did, but Dorane and Ursa were still at large. They were threatening to spread rumors about the family, and I worried those rumors might put you in danger again. That was why you went to Triflag.”
Valkin nodded. “Did you get them in the end?”
“Oh, we got them. They’re in prison, and I swear they’ll never trouble you or anyone else again. But before we arrested them, they could have spread those rumors.”
“About our telekinesis,” said the prince.
“And that would have been dangerous, as you very well understand. If people heard about our magic, and then learned you were in Traigland because you told Kansten your real name and she innocently mentioned that name to someone else, who told a third someone…. You understand the risk? You see why we needed to be cautious?”
Valkin nodded, and his father clapped him on the back.
“I know how hard it is to keep these secrets. To tell you the truth, I’ve always loathed it. I had to hide my real name from a friend once, for a rather long time. For weeks. I thought it was for her protection, and it was, but I felt guilty all the same, and even more so after she found out the truth from someone who…. Well, who didn’t care much for me.”
“You had to keep your birth secret?” asked Valkin. “From whom?”
“Kansten’s mother, of all people.”
Valkin’s eyes got huge. “Really?”
“Really. So I know how horrible it feels. I promise you, son, you did the proper thing. You did the only thing you could under the circumstances. Sometimes the right thing doesn’t feel like the right thing, if that makes sense. Sometimes there’s not a choice available that will do right by everyone. I put you in a position where you had no alternative but to lie to a new friend. You did nothing wrong, is that clear?”
“I guess so,” Valkin said. “I do feel better now that you told me the reason I had to lie to her.”
“I’m glad. And my God, am I proud of you. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve handled it all so
responsibly. You’ve been strong for your brothers through the whole ordeal. So keep your chin up, do you hear?”
Valkin nodded, and asked the king, “I won’t see her again, will I?”
“Kansten? I’m afraid that’s unlikely.”
“I figured it would be. At least she won’t know I lied, right?”
“Chin up,” said Rexson again. “I love you, Valkin.”
“I love you too, Father.”
* * *
The day after returning to Herezoth, August went to see her sister. If she had to go eventually, she would rather go sooner than later to be done with the unpleasantness, so Vane waited with her in the same depressing, poorly lit room where Dorane had blackmailed Zacry. When a guard led Ursa in, Vane followed him out with a reassuring nod at the royal family’s newest nanny.
August felt nervous and uncomfortable, until Ursa spoke. Then the awkwardness remained, but all fear was gone. An infant would not fear the woman who shrank back into the corner. August understood instantly why Vane had wanted her to visit, and she blessed him for urging her to come.
“What’s he doin’ here?” Ursa demanded. August could tell she had lost weight she had not needed to do away with, unless that were an illusion of her formless, colorless prison frock, ill-fitting and a far cry from her fashionable wardrobe back in Carphead. Yes, the clothing was to blame; the woman had been captured that week, which gave her no time to thin out as she looked to have done.
August said of Vane, “He brought me here. From Podrar.”
“He ain’t got other business? Ain’t gonna poison Dorane’s food or, or transport me out to the woods and have me shot?”
“Ursa, what are you talking about? You think someone will poison you? Have you stopped eating because of that? Listen, you’ve already been sentenced. If death’s not a part of that, no one’s going to kill you.”
The Magic Council (The Herezoth Trilogy) Page 29
