by Tessa Layne
“You don’t sound so good.”
Grief swamped him again, and he rolled to his side, seeing the flag-covered casket float in front of him. “We buried Johnny this afternoon.”
“Oh man.”
Sterling was grateful for his silence. Because really, what could you say when one of the men you loved like your own flesh and blood was now six feet under in the cold hard ground? There were no words. Only hurt.
After a minute, Travis spoke again. “You wanna talk about it?”
“No. I need to get a fucking life.”
“The timing may suck, but maybe I can help. I’m looking for a foreman.”
“Not interested.”
“Will you hear me out?”
Sterling sighed heavily, rubbing his head and trying to focus. It wasn’t Travis’s fault he was well on his way to oblivion. “You do realize I’m not a rancher?”
“You worked on enough ranches as a teenager, you could figure this out. And you’re military. I want someone with a military background.”
“What the hell for?”
“I don’t know if you heard, but I’ve retired from law enforcement. Starting up the ranch again, renaming it Resolution Ranch. I want to help other vets.”
That cut through his fog. “Hang on.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for the water glass, downing the contents in one gulp. Giving himself a shake, he forced his eyes to focus. “Say more.”
“We all go through the same things when we come home. We’re still focused on the mission. We make everything a mission. We forget that we have a say in how we live our lives. Over the last six months I’ve been working with Hope Sinclaire gentling mustangs.”
“Wait. Hope Sinclaire?” he was pretty sure the only female Sinclaire he knew was an elusive blonde named Emma.
“Used to be Hansen. Married Ben Sinclaire about a year ago. At any rate, working with the horses has helped me. Totally changed everything. I just got married too. Thanksgiving.”
“No kidding.” Jesus. Was the whole world suddenly pairing off? Didn’t these fools know what they were getting into?
“It’s amazing how things can fall into place when your focus changes. When you find your purpose.”
He could hear the conviction in Travis’s voice. He hadn’t felt conviction toward anything since he’d been removed from the Rangers. He’d been floating like a leaf and every time he thought he’d land, a gust came a long and blew him some more. “Why me?”
“You’re smart. You’re local – you know Prairie. You know the Flint Hills.”
“Used to.”
“They’re still the same.” Travis cleared his throat. “Your pictures still hang in the Trading Post, and people know and trust you here. And you’re Army. I want the ranch to serve all branches of service. Cassidy Grace recommended you.”
“No kidding.” Cassie had gone straight into the service when he’d gone to West Point, but they’d all been in high school together.
Sterling scrubbed a hand over his face, giving himself a little shake. “I don’t know, man. I always figured I’d left Prairie for good.”
“I thought you Rangers were up for any kind of a challenge.”
“Rangers lead the way.” Sterling raised the glass he still held.
“So join me.”
“No offense, but I want more in my life than mending fences and vaccinating cattle.”
“You think ranching isn’t going to be exciting enough?”
“It’s better than pushing paper. But, yeah. I want something I can sink my teeth into.”
“How ’bout gentling wild mustangs?”
Sterling sat up a little straighter. “What else?”
“Building something from the ground up? Having a say in creating something that helps people just like us?”
He liked that. If only he could have helped Johnny. Was this Johnny talking to him? Reaching across the grave and giving him a kick in the ass? He might as well say yes. What else was he going to do? Line dance with pretty girls in Napa? He could do that just as easily at the Trading Post. “Are you sure you want me?”
“Absolutely. I’m not considering anyone else.”
Travis was one of those leaders you’d follow into the fray in a heartbeat, and it warmed Sterling that Travis wanted him. They’d only met a handful of times over the years, but he liked Travis. Respected him. In spite of their age difference, they’d forged a bond over their similar histories in the service. “If I said yes, what would that entail?”
“First off, a 650-mile pack trip to Santa Fe with me and a few others on newly gentled mustangs.”
“New Mexico?” Excitement sparked to life inside him. “But it’s the dead of winter.”
“Sure as hell is.”
“Why?”
“Test ourselves. And the horses. You in?”
“When do we leave?”
“January 1st.”
CHAPTER 2
“I think we’re all set for tomorrow, don’t you?” Travis looked down the table to him for confirmation.
Sterling nodded. “I don’t have any more questions.” He and Cash Aiken, one of Travis’s SEAL buddies, sat at one end of a big farmhouse table. In between, were Hope Sinclaire and her brother, Axel Hansen, who’d come up from Oklahoma, Travis’s new wife, Elaine, and her son Dax. “Axel will travel with us to Boise City, where Hope will relieve him.”
“Unless Haley goes into labor,” said Axel.
“Right.” Travis nodded. “Unless Haley goes into labor.”
Sterling caught an exchange of glances between Travis and Elaine.
Hope cleared her throat. “Ben and Gunnar will plan to meet us in Santa Fe with the trailers on January twenty-ninth unless we hear differently.”
Axel lifted his glass. “I think it’s time for a toast. To the new year and the new ranch.”
Travis shot a glance at Elaine and she nodded. Sterling bit back a snort. Newlyweds. Everyone found it so cute. The little looks and glances. The soft touches. Endearing. But all he could think of was the grief etched into Macey’s face. Did they know what they were in for, should something happen to the other? A pang for Johnny knifed through him. He should be here. With the living. Looking at his wife and child with that kind of affection.
“We have something to add to the toast,” said Travis looking expectantly at his wife.
Elaine’s cheeks turned the color of roses and she grinned from ear to ear. “We’re having a baby.”
In a flash, Hope was around the table, giving her a hug. Axel extended his hand to Travis. “Welcome to the club, man.”
Travis beamed. Sterling had never seen the man look like that. Look so happy. He forced a smile. “Congratulations. When?”
“Late June, early July,” said Elaine.
“There won’t be enough time for us to get a new round of mustangs fully trained and trekked,” said Travis, “so I’ll be relying on you to lead the next pack trip. I can start it, but want to be home in plenty of time.”
“Sure thing.” He raised his glass. “Like Axel said, to new beginnings. New life.”
“Hear, hear,” echoed the group.
Axel stood. “Who’s headed off to the Trading Post tonight?”
Travis wrapped an arm around Elaine. “We’re staying in with Dax tonight. Playing board games if anyone wants to join us.”
Sterling slid a glance at Cash. They’d only just met, but already he liked the man’s no-nonsense demeanor. “None of that domestic stuff for me. Thought I’d take Cash down to the Trading Post. Show him how the landlubbers ring in the New Year.”
“Haley and I will be down there with Gunnar for a little while. Play a round of pool before it gets crazy?”
“Sounds great. See you in a bit.” He waved as Axel and Hope took their leave.
“Don’t stay out too late, and don’t tie one on.” Travis gave him a downright fatherly glance. “We’re up at zero-dark-thirty and off by sunrise.”
; “Got it, boss. Everything’s ready to go. I won’t stay out too late.” Sterling shrugged into his shearling and jammed his Stetson on his head. It had been years since he dressed in anything but BDU’s. His feet still weren’t used to his old shit kickers, itching for the comfort of his tight-laced army boots. But it was New Year’s Eve and time to move on. Start fresh.
The last few weeks had been an awakening. Sleeping in his old room at his folks for more than a few nights, pulling out his old work gloves and his Stetson. He’d treated himself to new gloves, but the cowboy hat was in good shape, and he enjoyed wearing it. By the time they arrived back to the ranch from the trek, his foreman’s trailer would be here. A temporary dwelling while they built permanent structures this spring.
“You ready for a night on the town?” He grinned across to Cash. “It’ll be crowded, but everyone’s safe.”
Cash was in rough shape. He was already at the ranch when Sterling had arrived a week before Christmas. Travis had mentioned they’d served together and that Cash had worked as a bodyguard at one time. But it was obvious being in open spaces spooked the guy. Which made their impending pack-trip interesting, considering most of the six-hundred some odd mile trek would be out on the open range.
Cash shook his head. “Nah. I’m gonna turn in early.”
“I understand. If you change your mind, give a holler.”
It was only eight when Sterling reached the Trading Post, but already the place was hopping. Axel waived at him from a pool table, lifting a pitcher of beer. Sterling made his way through the crowd, stopping every few feet to talk to another person he recognized.
“McAllister, great to see you.” Sterling wrapped his longtime friend in a hug. “How long has it been?”
“Too damned long,” Mike grinned.
“Travis gave me some of your root beer. When you going into business? That stuff’s the shit, man.” He had to admit, he loved this part of being home. Connecting with the friends he hadn’t seen in years. And it seemed like everyone was out tonight – the Cruzes, the McAllisters, the Hansens, the Castros. Even the Benoit twins. Only the Graces were missing from his old circle. “They’re up in Chicago,” explained Mike. “Carolina was supposed to get married about a week before Christmas. Her fiancé died the day before the wedding.”
“Man, that sucks.” He took a sip of his beer. “I’m telling you. That’s why I’m never falling in love. Too much damned pain.”
“No settling down for you? We’re getting old, man,” said Mike. “I’d settle down in a hot second with the right woman.”
Is that what Johnny thought Macey was? The right woman? He’d married her then broken her heart. “But what happens when the shit hits the fan? When one of you goes off the rails. Or worse, dies?”
Mike shrugged. “The higher the mountain the harder the fall, I guess.” He grinned over his beer. “But I always was a risk taker. On the front lines, while you were in the pocket dancing like a ballerina.”
“Fuck you. Someone had to be QB. My face was the prettiest.”
“Damn straight about that,” added Tony Cruz, pounding him on the back. “I’m surprised you didn’t come home with more scars.”
The comment caught him by surprise and his body went tight. “They’re there. But not where you can see them.”
Tony’s eyes grew flinty. “I know the feeling, man. All the shit you can’t unsee. And you can’t tell anyone about either.”
“Quit cryin’ in your beer you pussies,” Mike chided. “It’s New Year’s Eve. Time to shed that shit. Move on. We lost a lot last year. All of us. Cassie and Travis are always talking about not letting our stories define us. Let’s not have this last year define the next.”
Prairie had been through a tough year surviving a killer tornado, and it seemed he wasn’t the only one who wanted to shed the past. “I’ll drink to that.” Sterling raised his glass. “To kicking the shit out of the new year.”
“There’s the one that got away.” Mike motioned to the dance floor.
He swung around and caught a flash of pale blonde on the far side of the room.
Emma Sinclaire.
Goldilocks. His high school rival. He’d recognize those long legs anywhere. And that perfect blonde hair swinging down her back. The color of sunshine. Her older brothers were dark, but she’d inherited her mother’s coloring.
“I always thought you two would end up together,” remarked Cody Hansen, home between rodeo stints.
“Yeah,” nodded Mike. “You two bickered like an old married couple. I thought for sure you two had the secret hots for each other.”
“Right?” said Cody, shooting Mike and Tony a knowing glance.
“No, way.” Sterling burned behind his ears. “Emma Sinclaire was a pain in my ass. Yours, too.”
“True,” said Tony. “But I always thought she was hot.”
Sterling stole another glance across the room. Emma stood bent over the jukebox, jeans cupping a perfect heart-shaped ass. She turned, laughing, and his breath stuck in his throat. Fucking gorgeous. All grown up with a wide smile and miles of luscious curves. Perfect for caressing. Or more.
“Put your tongue back in your mouth, Walker.”
“See?” Mike crowed. “I knew he always had the hots for her.”
Sterling turned away. “Not. Interested. Never was.”
Cody snorted. “And that’s why you made it clear to the rest of us she was off-limits. You’d have taken any one of us by the throat if we’d asked her out.”
He couldn’t deny it. He’d taken it upon himself to personally screen all her pursuers. Someone had to. Her brothers had been too caught up in saving their ranch to pay attention to her. He’d been doing her a favor. It wasn’t his problem that not one of them measured up to his standards. It wasn’t because he wanted her for himself.
“Sterling was too much of a player for her,” said Tony.
“Tell me about it,” said Mike. “Everyone wanted Sterling. You were the flame and all the girl moths couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t get a date in town if my life depended on it.”
“And since Emma didn’t want him, no one could have Emma,” added Cody.
“You guys are full of shit,” said Sterling, not liking how the back of his neck heated. “Maybe it’s because you guys weren’t good enough for her.”
“Who died and made you her protector?” asked Tony. “Three brothers weren’t enough for the job?”
“Emma and I had a special bond.” He smirked at the memories. He’d delighted in baiting her. The way her face lit when she got her undies in a twist was irresistible. And she was so smart. Working to best her kept him on his toes.
“Now who’s full of shit?” chortled Mike. “You made her life hell. Always teasing her in front of Nikki Pope. Rubbing it in her face when you beat her by one point in debate.”
His stomach flopped. The way they put it, he sounded like a real asshole. “But it wasn’t like that. It was just friendly competition.”
“Was it?” Cody stared at him. “I still think she was the one that got away and you took it out on her.”
Was Cody right? Antagonizing her might have been the best part of his day, but he’d never meant to be an asshole. A little finger of guilt snaked through him. Cody’s assessment held the ring of truth and squared with what happened the last New Year’s Eve he’d spent at the Trading Post. He’d thought about making a move that night, years ago. But by the end of the evening, she’d made it crystal clear how much she despised him, and he’d gone home disappointed.
A weight settled in his chest. Maybe that had been for the best. If Johnny’s death had taught him anything, it was that you couldn’t pull another person into your orbit without breaking them. And he’d never let that happen to Emma. Emma Sinclaire was pure gold. Regardless of their antagonism.
Cody’s eyes lit mischievously. “Bet you a ten spot you can’t get her to dance with you.”
Sterling glanced back to the jukebox. She fucking glowed
with vitality. With life. He wanted that. Just the tiniest piece of it to rub off on him. Fill the holes in his soul. Longing arced through him. God how he’d missed her. It had been brutal at first. But eventually the ache had gone away. To be replaced with missions and life lived hard on all fronts.
“I’ll add to that.” Tony slapped a twenty on the bar. “It’s now or never. Because if you don’t make a move, I will.”
Fuck that.
Deep inside him, an old competitive spirit sparked to life. A slow grin creased his face. He hadn’t felt this good since before he was injured and forced to leave the Rangers. “Game on, motherfuckers. Time to watch a pro at work.” Sterling cracked his knuckles. There was nothing he loved more than a challenge. Especially when it came in the form of a pretty woman. And extra especially when that woman was Emma Sinclaire. “Hold my beer. She’ll be putty in my hands in no time.”
CHAPTER 3
“I’m so glad you decided to come out, Em,” gushed Luci Cruz. “I need a fellow wallflower.”
Emma laughed. “You’re the furthest thing from a wallflower.”
“Except on a night when it looks like there’s an impromptu reunion taking place.”
Emma scanned the crowded room, then turned back to the jukebox, pushing in a handful of quarters. “Sure looks that way. Why do you suppose everyone’s out tonight?”
“I think everyone wants to kiss the year of the tornado goodbye.”
“Could be.” She scanned the selections. “What shall we play next?”
“I saw they added Uptown Funk. Let’s start there. Oooooh.” Luci grabbed her shoulder. “Look look look.”
Emma spun around, scanning the bar.
“Don’t make it obvious,” Luci hissed.
“Who is it?”
“Sterling sex-on-a-stick Walker. Looking mighty fine.”
Groaning, Emma turned back to the jukebox, scanning for more songs. “Give me a break. I will happily live the rest of my life without seeing his face ever again.”
Luci snorted. “Good luck. His face is plastered all over the wall of fame.”
