on the second floor I heard someone shouting that we should all gather together in the big dormitory so about thirty comrades went into this big dormitory and then there were some awful moments because they’d cut off the electricity by now it was dark you could hear the most terrifying explosions all of us were there in a row against the wall the back wall of this big dormitory cell all crouching close together in the certainty that they’d kill us all because from the moment they’d appeared they hadn’t stopped throwing bombs and you could see masonry and bits of the stone floor being blasted away this is the last thing I saw before they cut off the electricity holes in the floor from the bombs they were throwing down from the roof
some of the hostage guards were taken down to the first floor with knives at their throats other guards stayed up on the second floor in the big dormitory with us and the guards were scared stiff when the cells they were in were unlocked and they were hauled out into the middle of all that uproar going on in the middle of that infernal noise and confusion with people running in all directions with the non-stop explosions of the bombs going off all the time they were hauled out of the cells and they thought they were sure they’d have their throats cut and be thrown downstairs one at a time they thought they’d be murdered and thrown downstairs to stop those guys coming in
the guards didn’t say a word their eyes stared wide open there was one of them who kept fainting with fear he was white as a sheet his legs gave way and he’d keep fainting then a comrade would slap him to stop him from fainting then a bucket of water was thrown in his face and the ones holding him up by the arms would tell him to calm down they weren’t going to kill him the guards who were in the second floor dormitory cell had no one restraining them no one threatening them they were shouting themselves hoarse from the windows don’t come in don’t come in or they’ll kill us all and then a comrade told them it’s your own people who’ll do the killing not us
besides the guards didn’t have uniforms any more they wore ordinary clothes like us and so they were as exposed as we were to those guys coming in shooting and throwing bombs they looked no different from all of us and at the same time nobody was threatening them nobody was doing anything to them they were there with us crouching like us shaking with fear like us and just then there was an instant of solidarity between us all because we were all in the same situation because our lives were at stake and the guards were perfectly aware that the carabinieri were putting their lives at risk too the carabinieri didn’t give a damn about their lives and by coming in they’d doubled the risk of them being killed in the first place by us and then by themselves at that moment there was clear solidarity between us and the guards
14
The elections of the decreti delegati* came along when things were really hotting up early in the morning as arranged about a hundred of us met in front of the school gates it’s Sunday and there’s lukewarm sunshine we’ve all got jackets scarves woolly berets gloves banners we’re all gathered together very aggressively putting on a tough show of being ready to take on all comers Malva is furious she disagrees she keeps on saying so she quarrels with everybody she says we need to get rid of all that pseudo-military paraphernalia that we ought to concentrate completely on discussion and not on threats but nobody takes any notice of her and Scilla who has brought along a bunch of pickaxe handles with strips of red rag tied round them yells at her fuck off you piece of shit go and join the rest of them on the election list of candidates and give us a break
the gates are opened by the janitors who’re not wearing uniform and are paid overtime for this weekend work we form four ranks that block the entrance right away two police squad cars show up two carabinieri vehicles and a lockup van there’s the usual light-coloured police surveillance car giving orders over a radio transmitter presently an NCO comes up to us and asks us to make way for people going through but we don’t move the atmosphere is really tense the police get into formation in ranks like us but they haven’t got any clubs or helmets or shields they’re empty-handed and they’re a bit cowed by our banners
the carabinieri are standing to one side watching the police have formed tight ranks and advance on us and come so close they’re nearly touching us we stare at one another insultingly and we start pushing body to body for the moment we don’t push with our hands we just press with our bodies against theirs at the front of our formation we hold the poles of the banners horizontally and we push with the poles to stop the police from getting nearer then the police catch hold of the banners too and they push them against us there’s pushing from both directions and the horizontal line of the banners is what divides our bodies from theirs it looks like a game a tug-of-war the wrong way round and there’s even some fun being had with this game that goes on for a good while
as we’re pushing we shout one two three-ee while the police push without saying a word the mass heaves backwards and forwards one section loses a yard but then regains it and a few minutes go by like this I’m right in the middle and I feel myself flattened like a sardine squeezed from every direction overheated I feel as if I’m suffocating then finally we manage to throw them back because there are more of us and there are also lots of people pushing from behind the last push we give them is very violent the police ranks can’t hold against it one or two police end up on the ground with their legs in the air and hurry to their feet again picking up their hats and swearing in a rage and so we succeed in occupying the whole area in front of the gates
the same NCO as before comes forward again and starts bargaining he says all they’re interested in is keeping the entrance clear that they’re there to guarantee this for people to go in and out freely and that if we don’t give way they’ll get their clubs and charge us then Canforo mediates and we reach an agreement to line ourselves up sideways leaving the entrance free because we’re not there to stop people from going in to vote but to put arguments to them but in fact we do fuck all talking some small groups of students who show up there to vote see how things are and do an about-turn but the vast majority don’t even turn up only some bewildered parents are left standing they don’t know what’s going on but there’s too much tension for talking as for us we don’t even feel like it
all our concentration is now on the police we sense that the real clash is with them meanwhile they’ve formed their ranks again they’ve formed ranks parallel with ours leaving clear a corridor a couple of yards wide and about ten yards long right up to the gate finally there are a couple of brave parents Communists for sure who start out along the corridor left clear in front of the entrance and then at once we advance suddenly all together and immediately the police ranks advance too and so we wind up in the same situation as before face to face with the parents caught in the middle like a sandwich beside me there’s Scilla we’re linking arms I can feel his arm tensely gripping mine
then suddenly Scilla’s arm wriggles free of mine quick as a flash and all at once I see the bloodied nose of the policeman opposite him it’s taken an instant no one has seen his fist fly and now it’s back under my arm the policeman’s arms open limply and he sinks backwards with his hair falling on his face at the same time the two groupings have divided again and everyone’s back in their original spot the policeman on the ground is carried away without any clear idea of what really happened to him a bit later a little group of Catholics turns up and they stop a few yards away talking in hushed voices among themselves and then they come forward in single file straight into the corridor
the interplay of battle formations starts all over again we all thrust ourselves forward once more and the little group of would-be electors rushes back after having taken a bit of shoving and spitting a bit later the head boy turns up he’s in the FGCI* he turns up along with a dozen other nicely dressed kids with nice clean faces just like his obviously all militants in their phantom organization for a bit they make a point of stopping the few students that turn up to persuade
them not to go away then they have some hushed words with the policemen and some hushed words with the little group of Catholics Valeriana’s the first one to yell out there it is the historic compromise* then the slogans start united we agree but against the DC
the police make a surprise dash forward they gain a few yards the outlines of the two groupings get frayed in the scramble kicks and punches get delivered by both sides a few students manage to pass through taking advantage of the mêlée hardly anyone is unscathed Cocco gets the purple lining ripped out of his coat Gelso gets a little finger broken I get hit on the arm I feel a shooting pain I look round but there’s such confusion that I can’t tell who did it the police are pissed off because we have the banners and they know that we’ll start using them meanwhile the PCI* militants turn up in droves more and more of them all the time and they get behind the police and egg them on to clear us off
one of the PCI people a big tall guy with a bully’s face comes up and grabs Pepe by the collar and shouts fascist at him Pepe wriggles and manages to land him a kick on the shins a really hard kick with the tip of his heavy boot hard enough to break his leg but the guy doesn’t budge and he doesn’t loosen hold of his collar then Ortica who’s there beside him raises the banner and with both hands brings it down on the brute’s arm a howl of pain and he lets go it’s chaos blows lashed out from all directions by now it’s a free-for-all the banners shoot into the air screaming swearing insults I feel someone grabbing me by the hair but then it’s let go of at once I see Scilla hitting out like a madman with the banner as a cudgel against the police who are trying to pick up the banners dropped on the ground so that they can use them too
ambulances arrive with sirens going the brawl suddenly peters out and we split once more into the two groupings going back to the initial positions suddenly I hear shouting that they’ve got Canforo and I’m just in time to see Canforo with his arm held being pushed into the lockup van by four police we all rush at the lockup van and surround it more shoving more punching between us and the police but the lockup van can’t leave because it would flatten somebody then we start shaking the lockup van rocking it with all of us pushing together that’s when the police promise to release Canforo in exchange for handing over the banners we accept we leave the poles there on the ground and Canforo is let out of the lockup van
it’s midday we’ve been there for four hours the polling stations close in the evening and we don’t want to leave but we can’t keep on fighting it out until the evening this is what we decide to have a reduced picket until the afternoon anyway by now we’ve achieved our aim traffic to the polling booths has been next to nothing we decide to call a truce with the police and I go with Canforo to talk with the NCO who’s there across the road leaning on a squad car talking to a plain-clothes man in a cream double-breasted raincoat the tension has slackened completely someone is sitting on the pavement eating rolls a young policeman is taking out his pocket transistor to listen to the football match and he speaks to us what’s all this then it’s Sunday why aren’t you out in the country with some girls instead of hanging round here creating all this bother
15
The time they arrested me we’d just got in on the train from the village I was walking with China and two other comrades along the road from the station towards the centre there was a meeting at the centre about the radio station we were setting up it was Gelso and Ortica doing it and the broadcasts were to cover the whole province one of their fucking local squad cars goes past we often saw them lately parked outside the centre but we don’t take that much notice just snooping as usual we think but then they skid to a stop right alongside the pavement just yards ahead of us they skid to a stop and suddenly get out they rush out towards us with guns in their hands towards me it takes me by surprise for these guys knew us all right and there was no way they needed to put on this act to check our papers as they’d already done a load of times before
the three plain-clothes guys don’t bother much with the comrades who’re with me but they surround me they point their guns right at me and they tell me to keep still don’t move they shout and who’s moving I say they close in and one of them puts the comrades against the wall and China too with their hands up then they search them a bit but halfheartedly while the others take me by the arms and push me towards the car they push me inside the car and I wind up squashed in between two guys holding guns that they stick into my sides they were quite edgy and they didn’t say a word and so nor did I say a word only by turning my head a little can I glimpse China on the pavement running towards the car which speeds off just at that moment
all this happened all very fast once he saw I’d got into the car the one that was left outside released the comrades he was holding against the wall at gun-point he ran to the car and got into the front seat and he took off with the tyres zigzagging then he looked in the rear-view mirror and said did you search him no goes the one on my left still shoving the gun in my ribs the one who’s driving gets mad how come you didn’t search him then bloody idiots you were supposed to search him and he brakes and makes to draw up by the kerb but the same one on my left says don’t stop now the one driving accelerates again and says at least put the handcuffs on him then eh and then he asks me menacingly are you armed
no I say the one on the right brings out the handcuffs and the one driving tells him put them on with his hands behind his back then the one on my left takes hold of my hair with one hand and says lean forward put your hands behind you I obey but I move very slowly because I can feel the butt of the gun pressing into my side the one on the left pulls me by the hair again until my face is resting on the front seat while the other one puts the handcuffs round my wrists but he makes slow work of it because there’s so little room and like this finally I’m handcuffed the one on the left lets go of my hair now I’m handcuffed and very uncomfortable with my arms pinioned behind my back and the two beside me who are still pressing the guns between my ribs but I choose to keep my mouth shut and ask no questions
the road to the police station is a short one but I have time to think a thousand thoughts I think that these guys are going in for some serious intimidation I don’t understand why but they’re serious about it for sure and seeing the way these things go as soon as we get to the station they’ll beat me up and I think of how I’m handcuffed and that that makes it easy to hit me without me even being able to defend myself and so I get really scared about being beaten up I can’t even give any thought to why they can have detained me I can only think about the beating they’re going to give me and when we get to the main entrance they shove me out still with the guns in their hands they shove me up the stairs and keep shoving me even when there’s no need they shove me if I go slowly and if I hurry they say where do you think you’re going and pull me back by the handcuffs
well we go up two flights like this with these guys shoving me and pulling me all the time then they take me into a room and make me sit down on a chair the moment I sit down still with the handcuffs behind me I think this is it they’ll start now and instead the one who’d handcuffed me brings a tiny key out of his pocket and takes them off I breathed a sigh because I thought that if they were going to hit me it would have been easier to do it when I was handcuffed I rub my wrists a bit for they’re red and they hurt then the one who was driving tells me brusquely strip come on be quick about it I don’t raise any objections I take off my jacket my scarf then I take off my sweater my shirt and vest come on be quick about it the trousers too I take off my shoes slip out of my trousers and then I look at them
but he still keeps on at me bad temperedly I said the lot you have to strip right off the lot have you got it and he flicks my back with the tip of his taut outstretched fingers and with contempt on his face I see this contemptuous expression of his and my immediate reaction is to look straight at him and I see this contemptuous expression in his eyes and I feel a surging burst of hatred and rage you’
re a piece of shit I tell him with my eyes I’m not brave enough to say it to him because I can see him there all poised and ready to let me have it if I make the slightest move and so I take off my socks and underpants and I stand there naked I’m cold but I don’t move it’s like a revelation for me and I think to myself this is the way they are this is what they’re like but why do I find it so staggering how many times have we told ourselves that this is how they are
the three of them start searching the clothes they turn out the pockets of the jacket the pockets of the trousers they empty out their contents onto the table then one by one they finger all these things the usual sort of things the cigarettes the lighter the coins pieces of paper the keys the usual things there always are in pockets they look at them and look again they shift them from hand to hand two or three times they turn them round fingering them then they pass them on to one another the lighter the keys the pieces of paper they read them studiously they look at them against the light they put them delicately down again then they take the cigarettes out of the packet they take out the silver foil as well they study it carefully on one side and the other but what are they looking for I ask myself what do they think they’ll find
then they hand round the clothes they feel the collar of the jacket the seams they pull away the lining and each of them feels inside it they feel the collar of the shirt they turn it back they inspect the seams they turn the trousers and the sweater inside out they inspect every inch with the same measured calm you can tell that for them these are routine mechanical actions then they pick up the underpants they feel these too then they get to the shoes slip their hands inside they lift the tongue they hold them in the light to look edgeways inside them they inspect the sole they bend it back then throw them on the ground finally the red scarf and the socks their hands never relaxing they lift them they feel them they turn them over and over about three or four times they hand them back and forth then when they’ve finished one of them leaves the room
The Unseen Page 8
