by S Cinders
The last step of the twelve-step program says that after you have a spiritual awakening as a result of the program that you will carry this message to others and practice them in all of your affairs.
And so that is why I spent the last several months writing everything that happened from the moment Will came back into my life. Isolated as we are, I don’t know how many people I will reach. But my story, published under a different name will hopefully bring someone the courage to try and fight for themselves.
I know how debilitating addiction can be. I thought I would never be free of it. I had convinced myself it was all I deserved. I called myself the worst names imaginable and worse, I believed them.
There is hope, and when you feel at your darkest point, completely alone, remember that I believe in you. I don’t need to know your name or your situation to know that somewhere inside of you is the person you were meant to be.
Don’t give up. Someday, you too will be free.
“SHAY?” WILL WALKED into our bedroom as I closed out the document I was working on.
I turned my head up and he kissed me softly on the lips.
“Are you doing okay?”
The love he had for me shining in his eyes.
“I am more than okay, I just finished writing my story.”
His face broke into a wide smile, “You did? I’m so proud of you!”
The next thing I knew he was lifting me and my huge belly up and spinning us around. I squealed holding on for dear life. He kissed me hard on the lips upon setting me down.
“I just spoke with Marco and Gina, they are going to bring Bella here so that she can meet her godparents.”
My throat clogged with emotion and I beamed at Will, “When?”
“Next week,” he smoothed a strand of hair back from my face. “They wanted to get here before the baby arrives.”
I rolled my eyes and patted my massive stomach, “I don’t think your son is ever coming out of there. The doctor said that I wasn’t even thining yet.”
Will hadn’t been comfortable with a local physician, so he had one of the top OBGYN’s in the world flown in and living like a king until I delivered.
“You aren’t due for another two weeks,” Will reasoned.
I huffed, “That is beside the point!”
Will raised a brow, “You know, if Gina and Marco are coming in...”
He trailed off as he sunk down onto one knee and pulled a small blue box out of his pocket.
“Shut up!” I exclaimed, “Shut up, shut up!”
Tears began to gather, and my hands were shaking. Will couldn’t hold back a massive grin as he took my hands in his.
“I love you, Shay. I have loved you for what seems like my entire life and that will never change. Please, will you be my wife?”
“Shut up,” I whispered, the tears now coursing down my cheeks.
“Is that your answer?” he laughed.
“Yes,” I pulled on my hands so that he could stand and take me in his arms.
“Yes, that is your answer or yes you will marry me.”
I choked on a sob, “Yes, you crazy man, I will marry you. I love you so much!”
This time when Will picked me up and spun me it had a different effect.
It was poor timing on our son’s part, because at that moment my water broke.
SEVENTEEN HOURS, THIRTEEN minutes and eleven seconds later Alexander William Jennings made his appearance into the world. He was seven pounds, fourteen ounces and eighteen inches long. He reminded me a bit of a fat old man. And he wasn’t at all amused with my vagina, life on the outside, or childbirth in general.
He was perfect.
They say that you bond automatically with your child. And to a large degree I would have to say this is accurate. We both were horrified and shared that common bond.
I am told that childbirth is a beautiful moment you will never forget. Because I have resolved to try and help others in this world, I will say this with all assured, if the doctor asks you if you want a mirror to witness the birth the answer is ALWAYS no.
I told Will that I loved him, but sex was now off the table. Anyone with stitches in their lady bits and nipples that raw would understand my plight. Somehow Will managed to see Alex and me through. He loved us through breastfeeding, giving up and going to the bottle. And then back to lactating when I was sure I had one more go in me.
He loved us through postpartum and stretch marks—there is a reason God doesn’t let you see underneath your belly when you are pregnant.
Will loved us through each and every stage, and at some point, it became easy. We had our ups and downs, but we were a family. I don’t know what would have happened to me if he hadn’t had had me kidnapped off the street.
We certainly debated on what we would tell the children when they got older.
Okay, so obviously I let Will back in again. Amanda Grace was born two years later, and Sophia Marie came three years after that.
There were rare moments when I would receive an email from Mandy checking in. She and Elliot were deliriously happy. We didn’t ever speak about what happened between us. But it meant the world to me that she cared enough to keep in touch.
Marco and Gina came every summer and two weeks at Christmas. They have three girls and just found out that she’s expecting a boy.
Life didn’t turn out how I thought it would. But as I cuddled up to the man I loved and listened to the kids arguing down the hall I had to admit.
It was perfect.
Did you love Running Scared? Then you should read Barefoot & Pregnant by S. Cinders!
High school is supposed to be all about firsts, first kiss, first boyfriend, first party, first drink.
But Katie jumped a bunch of steps. She is pregnant and she won't tell anyone who the father is.
Barefoot & Pregnant is a coming of age story following the friends as they navigate this crazy thing called 'adulting.'
New Adult Romance
Read more at S. Cinders’s site.
About the Author
S. Cinders began writing romance novels as a teenager. Instead of paying attention in class, she was busy scribbling out scenes in spiral notebooks to entertain her friends.
A lifetime later, or one marriage, three children and eleven different moves across the country. S. Cinders decided to try her hand at writing again.
She currently has over twenty titles and is a best selling author on the Radish App.
For a free book go to www.scinders.com!
Read more at S. Cinders’s site.
