Nicki curled her hands tightly inside her coat pockets. “Is anyone inside?”
“Divers have just gone in to check. It took a while to get the special water rescue and recovery team here from Manhattan.” Clay laid a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll know more soon.”
She appreciated his offer of comfort, but she noticed how cold his hand was.
Suddenly, she became aware of the dampness of his clothes. “You’re wet. You must be freezing.”
“I’m fine.”
Looking up at him, she asked, “What were you doing out here?”
“Tommy and I came out to do a little fishing. Don’t worry,” he added quickly, “one of the deputies drove him home. Tommy was thrilled at the chance to ride in a real squad car.”
“Did he see anything,” she asked, praying he hadn’t.
“He saw the bumper of the car sticking out of the water. I wouldn’t let him come any closer once I realized what it meant.”
Relaxing a fraction, Nicki stared at the men and vehicles lining the river bank. “At first, I prayed for answers about Kasey’s family, but lately—I’ve been praying she could stay with me. I honestly thought someone had abandoned her. I was angry that someone could do that to a child. I was so sure they didn’t deserve her. If they have been here all this time…” The lump in her throat kept her from saying more.
Police chief Colt Ridgeway walked over to them. “The divers say they’re ready for us to bring the car out. We had to cut some trees away to get the tow truck in close enough.”
“Did they say if there was anyone inside?” Clay asked.
Nicki tried hard to block the visions that filled her mind.
“There’s one body still in the car. We think it’s a woman.”
The tow truck winch began to whirl. The cable screeched and creaked as it tightened.
Nicki glanced over her shoulder at the town more than a half mile in the distance. “Could the car have been thrown this far by the tornado?”
Colt shrugged. “Maybe. It’s also possible it went into the water closer to town and was washed downstream. The river was rain swollen that night.”
Nicki pulled her hands from her pockets and crossed her arms. “I thought you had divers check the river a few days after Kasey was found.”
“We did. We just didn’t search this far. It’s fortunate that we found it at all. The divers tell me the car was hung up on a lip of concrete under the bridge. It wouldn’t have taken much to break it loose and send it into a really deep part of the channel. If Clay hadn’t come here fishing today, the car might never have been found.”
The winch stopped when the vehicle had been pulled clear. Water streamed from the doors and frame.
Nicki turned away from the sight as nausea hit. Clay slipped his arm across her shoulders and pulled her close. “Take deep breaths.”
She did, drawing in the warm, masculine scent of him until she regained some control.
Colt left them to return to the car where he and his deputies joined the sheriff and recovery team. Several of the men held up a large tarp to block the scene from view as a gurney from the coroner’s vehicle was brought in.
After about twenty minutes, Colt returned. Nicki saw the answer she dreaded in his eyes.
She leaned into Clay’s embrace, drawing strength from him. “It’s Kasey’s mother, isn’t it?”
“We recovered a purse and we have an ID, but I can’t give you the name. It will take a while to confirm the identity.”
He wasn’t telling her everything. She braced herself and asked, “What else did you find?”
Blowing out a deep breath, he said, “There’s a child’s car seat in the backseat. It’s empty.”
Nicki sniffed as sudden tears welled up in her eyes. “Kasey likes to unbuckle herself. I have a hard time keeping her strapped in.”
Colt glanced toward the car. “In this instance, it may have saved her life. It’s possible she was thrown clear before the car went into the water.”
As he walked away, Nicki turned and buried her face against Clay’s chest. “I’m going to lose her.”
“You don’t know that.”
But she did. Once the deceased woman’s identify was confirmed, her family would claim her little girl. In her heart of hearts, she knew the child she loved would be taken away.
Clay looked for Nicki at Sunday services, but she wasn’t in church. He longed to see her and find out how she was doing, but he wasn’t sure she would want to see him.
The discovery of the unknown woman’s body had prompted a special prayer service the previous evening. A memorial had been started beside the church steps. The nook was filled with flowers, candles and cards.
Maya spoke to Josie after the service and reported back to Clay. It seemed that Kasey had developed a slight fever and Nicki had kept her home.
Although there was a storm of speculation swirling about the identity of the woman in the car, no one knew anything for certain. Colt had also been absent that morning, and Clay was forced to return to the Rocking P without any answer.
All the rest of the day, the need to see Nicki gnawed at his insides. After finishing the essential ranch chores, he had nothing to do and found himself pacing the length of the small living room in his quarters. Each time he passed the phone hanging on the wall, he started to pick it up but fear held him back.
What if the authorities had found Kasey’s family and had taken her away from Nicki? How could he face her knowing he was responsible for setting that event in motion?
He could have taken Tommy fishing anywhere along the river. Why had he taken the boy to the old bridge? Only because he’d been eager to revisit some of his old haunts, to relive the thrills he’d once found there.
He should have been focused on the future, not the past. Torn between the need to be with Nicki and the uncertainty of her reaction in light of what had occurred, he found himself paralyzed with doubts.
He didn’t make the call.
During his long hours in the saddle the next morning, as he moved the Rocking P herd to new pasture, Clay had plenty of time to rethink that decision. He’d grown more than fond of Nicki. His affection for her bore little resemblance to their high school attachment. His feeling went much deeper than anything he’d ever experienced before. They were rooted in his admiration for Nicki as a woman of faith and character.
Yet, underlying that realization was the persistent sick sensation that he was going to cause her pain—again. More than ever, he found himself doubting that he was on the path the Lord wanted him to follow.
By late afternoon, Clay’s ranch work was done. As he stepped inside the lonely little stone house tucked into a shelterbelt of cedars, Clay realized he was hiding from his emotions the way he’d done most of his adult life.
Hiding hadn’t been the answer then. It wasn’t the answer now.
Besides, this is not about me.
It was about Nicki and what she was going through. He clapped his hat back on his head, turned on his heels and strode out of the house.
Thirty minutes later, Clay knocked at Nicki’s front door and waited nervously for her to answer. When she did, he knew by the look on her face that the news wasn’t good. His heart dropped to his boots.
He pulled off his hat and held it in front of him. “I just came by to see if you’d heard anything and to see how you’re doing.”
“I’m okay.”
“You look terrible.”
“You would have to tell me the truth, wouldn’t you?” Stepping back, Nicki invited him in and led the way to the living room. She motioned for him to take a seat.
He said, “I just meant that you looked tired.”
“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“How’s Kasey?”
“She’s better, her fever was gone by lunchtime.”
Settling on the sofa, Clay turned his hat around and around in his hands. “What have the police found out?”
Nicki’
s voice quivered as she answered, “They’ve made a positive ID. It’s Kasey’s mother.”
The pain in her voice made him long to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. “I’m so sorry.”
After a tiny pause, Nicki continued. “Her name was Dana Cassidy and she was twenty-two years old. She’s lived in Denver, but the authorities are having a hard time finding anyone who knew her. Apparently, she moved around a lot. Kasey’s name is really Katherine Cassidy. I’ve tried calling her that, but she doesn’t respond to it. I don’t know if I should call her Kathy or Katie, or if that will just confuse her.”
“Have you learned anything about her father or Dana’s family?”
“Dana wasn’t married. Katherine’s birth certificate lists the father as unknown.”
He brightened. “That’s good. I mean, if Kasey’s father wasn’t involved, you can still adopt her.”
“I don’t think I should hold on to that hope.” She’d never sounded so lost.
“If only I hadn’t gone to that bridge.”
Smiling sadly, Nicki shook her head. “I don’t blame you for finding Dana’s car. I’m glad you did. She was someone’s child, too. When the police locate them, they’ll have some kind of closure. If you hadn’t discovered the body, Kasey—I mean Katherine—would have grown up thinking her mother didn’t want her and had simply left her by the side of a road. This is hard, but it’s better for her.”
“But not better for you.”
“I’m learning to rejoice in each precious day Kasey gets to stay with me. When the time comes for her to leave, I won’t be ready but I’ll be prepared.”
“You’re a brave woman, Nicki Appleton. I want you to know how much I admire your strength.”
“I’m not brave at all.”
Rising, he tossed his hat aside and pulled her into his arms. “Yes, you are. You’re very brave and very special. Kasey is blessed to have known your unconditional love even for a short time.”
Nicki leaned into Clay’s embrace. It felt wonderful to be held with such tenderness—to rest against his strong frame and not have to pretend she was all right. She was so tired of holding it together.
If only she could trust her heart to this man. She wanted to so badly. Unbidden, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She sniffed to hold back the threatening flood.
He lifted her face with a finger beneath her chin. “Hey, are you crying?”
“No.” She sniffed again.
“Yes, you are.”
“My eyes are just leaking.”
He pressed her face into his shoulder. “That’s okay, then. I don’t mind getting wet.”
“I’m so scared.”
“I know you are, and that’s okay.”
“It’s not. I should have more faith. No matter what happens, I know that it’s God’s will, but I don’t want to lose her.”
Drawing a steadying breath, Nicki pushed out of his embrace. The room seemed cold without his warmth. “I’m not going to start blubbering or I won’t be able to stop.”
“Tell me what I can do.”
“You can pray for us.”
“I’ve been doing that all along.”
Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she took a step away. Worry wasn’t going to change the outcome for herself and Kasey. That was in God’s hands.
It was time to give over those troubles to His keeping. Raking her hair back with her fingers, she inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly.
Forcing a smile to her stiff lips, she looked at Clay. “Are you going to work on the Old Town Hall project tonight or are you going to keep on with the gazebo?”
“I thought I’d give you a hand at the Old Town Hall. If you’re going?”
“Actually, it’s my turn to watch the volunteer’s children. Josie and I trade off every few weeks.”
“Babysitting has to been easier than putting up siding.”
“Do you think so? Maybe you’d like to give me a hand with the group tonight.”
“Me babysitting a bunch of kids? No. You saw me with Jesse’s babies.”
“You didn’t do so badly. How are they?”
“Doing okay, I think.”
“You haven’t been back?”
“Not to talk to Jesse. I thought I’d give him a little more time to get used to my being around.”
“Don’t let too much time go by.”
“I won’t. Besides, Maya has this big shindig planned out at the ranch for Thanksgiving, so he’ll have to talk to me then.”
“A Thanksgiving reunion, that will be good for all of you.”
Reaching out, he stroked his fingers down her face. “You’re always thinking of other people.”
Catching his hand, she held it to her cheek and closed her eyes. “Maybe that’s why I’m such a mess.”
He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “You’re not a mess, honey, but even if you were, your friendship is still the best thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time.”
“I’m glad,” she whispered.
Friendship had been the basis of the close bond they’d once shared. Nicki found herself hoping that it could become the basis of something more between them. Because as hard as she had tried to avoid it, she was falling head over heels for a drifter cowboy.
The patter of small feet hurrying across the floor signaled that Kasey had awakened from her nap. “Ni Ni, dink, please.”
Nicki disengaged herself from Clay’s hold and turned to her foster daughter, but Kasey barreled past to throw her chubby arms around Clay’s leg. “’Orsey man. My’ orsey man. Me up.”
Clay obeyed the order and lifted her into his arms. “Up it is, sugar. Are you feeling better?”
She nodded vigorously then patted his head. “Where my hat?”
“Is my hat missing? Where is it?” He spun around making Kasey giggle and clutch at his shoulder.
“Do you see it?” He twirled quickly in the other direction making the child laugh louder.
“There it is.” He dipped Kasey low toward the sofa making her squeal. Righting her, he snatched up the hat and plopped it on her head.
Holding it up, she grinned at him and said, “More.”
“No, that’s enough spinning for a little girl who’s been sick. We don’t want Mommy to get mad at us.”
Nicki’s amusement faded, but she kept the smile on her face. As much as she wanted to be Kasey’s mommy, she wasn’t. Because of Clay’s discovery—it was possible that she never would be.
Chapter Thirteen
Each day for the next four days, Clay finished his chores on the Rocking P Ranch as quickly as possible. After checking with his boss, he drove into town to work on the gazebo. With the roof finished and the six of the eight lattice walls up, it was beginning to look like the place he used to know.
Numerous townspeople had stopped by to express their thanks for his efforts, including the mayor and members of the town council. He had to admit it felt good to be included and accepted by the community that had once seen him only as a troublemaker.
With a little help from Maya, Clay had learned how to program the alarm on his cell phone. He set it for four-thirty in the afternoon—the time Nicki’s last class let out. When the persistent beep in his pocket alerted him to the time, he put his tools away, crossed the park to the preschool and waited for Nicki outside her classroom door.
He knew she was going through a rough time, and he wanted to be there for her.
Each day, with no news, a little more hope returned to her eyes.
Today, she smiled softly when she caught sight of him and it lifted some of the ache from his heart.
“I’ll only be a minute.” She returned a large toy barn and farm animals to one of the many shelves in the room.
“How are you doing?” he asked, crossing the room to help her straighten up by pushing the little chairs under the work table.
“I’m fine,” she replied without looking at him.
<
br /> He moved to stand beside her and leaned down so he could see her face. “How are you, really?”
She pressed her lips together tightly, then said, “I’m a wreck. I dread going home. I just finished checking my cell phone messages and there weren’t any. That’s probably a good sign, isn’t it?”
He lifted her chin with one finger forcing her to look at him. “It’s going to be okay.”
Grasping his hand, she held it pressed tightly to her cheek. “Keep telling me that. I need to hear it.”
He prayed with all his heart that his words would prove to be true. He hated the idea that he’d had even an unwitting hand in making her suffer.
He slipped a comforting arm across her shoulder. Together, they left her room and followed the hallway to the church day-care area run by Josie.
As they neared the room, Clay’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw a picture of Maya on the display. He flipped the phone open and answered it.
“Clay, have you seen Tommy today?” His sister’s voice held a hint of worry.
“He came by for a few minutes after school, but said he wanted to go check with Mr. and Mrs. Otis to see if Charlie had come back.” Clay had to wonder if the boy would ever give up on his missing pet.
“Thank you. I’ll call there. Mrs. Otis is probably stuffing him with her oatmeal raisin cookies.”
“Call me if you don’t find him.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Clay ended the call but didn’t close the phone. He hadn’t realized Maya had added her picture along with her number. He glanced toward Nicki and tried to recall Tommy’s instructions on taking pictures. Stopping in the hall, he said, “Hold on a second.”
Nicki halted and looked back at him. “What are you doing?”
Raising the screen, he aimed it at her and snapped a photo. The image of her face remained on the display for a few seconds. It would remain in his heart for much, much longer. He pushed the button to save it. “Tommy was showing me how to use this thing. I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
“They’re great. I’ve taken tons of pictures of Kasey with mine.” It was a pointed reminder to them both that she might not have the opportunity to take many more.
A Family for Thanksgiving (Love Inspired) Page 14
