by Sara Daniel
He’d been drinking. Whatever his impaired brain might want, he’d feel differently once sober. Having limited herself to a token sip of wine, she’d be responsible for any activity he had second thoughts about in the morning. And he wasn’t leaving soon enough for her to come away unscathed. “No thanks. Good night, Caleb.”
“Any reason besides the fact that I didn’t lay on the seduction and charm?” Instead of drunk, he sounded as reasonable and practical as ever.
“You were right. I don’t need this roller coaster of emotions. For my sake and the sake of our sons, I’m not letting you suck me in again.” She couldn’t endure the misery of loving him and suffering through another rejection. She definitely couldn’t allow Austin to feel the effects. Caleb’s mother had admitted her failings in raising her children. Olivia never wanted to saddle Austin with that burden.
She carried the scone tray to the kitchen, swiping a glob of jam from the counter with a sponge. When she emerged, Caleb stood, waiting for her in the foyer. “Where did you put Liam’s diaper bag? My car keys are in it, and I need them so I can get my overnight bag out of the car.”
Drunk or not, she couldn’t let him stagger out into the dark. Wet, heavy snow had fallen in the morning, then melted in the afternoon, and now had refrozen in big icy puddles on the driveway. With more snow falling to cover the ice, he wouldn’t suspect the danger.
“Go to your room. I’ll bring everything to you.”
By the time she knocked on his bedroom door, he answered, wearing nothing but his briefs.
She averted her gaze. “You could have waited for your bag before you changed.”
“And miss the chance to tempt you?”
Many times his lean, sculpted body had, but not this time. She glanced toward the closed door of the suite where Liam slept peacefully on the other side. She had a responsibility to give her child and foster children a more stable environment than the emotional turmoil she went through every time she threw herself at Caleb.
“Not tempted. Good night.” She flipped off the light and backed toward the doorway.
“Story of my life.” His tone defeated, he flipped down the covers and flopped on the bed before she could pull the door shut. “Oh, gross. It’s slimy. What the hell? Turn on the light.”
Flipping the switch again, she hurried to his side. He sat up, red liquid dripping down his cheek and congealing on his side.
“Oh my God, you’re bleeding.” Her knees nearly buckled. “What—Never mind.” She’d sort out the how and why after he received medical attention. “I’ll call an ambulance.”
He clamped his blood-stained fingers over her wrist. “I’m not bleeding.”
“But—” The bed, his back and his side looked like a grisly murder scene. Some spots appeared almost translucent. Others contained deep red clumps. Dark specks stood out, about the size of berry seeds.
They couldn’t be. She lifted his hand to her mouth, licking his fingertips. “Strawberry preserves.”
“Which would be in my bed because?” He yanked his fingers free and swiped at his cheek, smearing the oozing jelly.
“I have no idea. But thank God you’re not bleeding to death.” She reached up to wrap her arms around him, grateful his life wasn’t in danger.
He stiffened in her embrace. “I can’t sleep in these conditions.”
“Of course not.” The crisis allowed her to treat him the same as any other disgruntled guest. “I’ll change the sheets. If you’d like to move to another suite, I’ll fix up the one down the hall. If we move Liam’s port-a-crib together, he should sleep through the commotion.”
“I offered to stay at a different hotel. You should have let me, instead of sabotaging my bed.”
“I’m sorry. I washed the sheets after you left. No one else has slept in here since. Why don’t you take a shower while I clean the bed?”
She peeled away the sheet. The other side of the mattress had been smeared with sticky jam from the pillow down to the middle of the bed. Someone hadn’t taken any chances on which side he would sleep on. A bed didn’t become filled with strawberry preserves without human intervention. Had Ralph decided to play a practical joke?
Caleb stood. “If you want to help, you can wash me.”
“You’re not very enticing covered in red goo.” But the invitation to put her soapy hands all over him flooded her core with heat. “I’ll wash your underwear with the sheets.”
He glanced down and grimaced. “I ruined a pair of your underwear. You ruined a pair of mine. Now we’re even. Of course, I kept your pair.” Holding her gaze, he peeled off his sticky red briefs.
Hands shaking, no longer immune to his offer, she reached for the garment. His gaze sizzled. When she could longer continue to meet it without burning up, she dropped her eyes down his naked chest then lower.
“About that help getting clean.” His voice turned husky.
Oh yeah. She could use her tongue as a sponge and lick every inch of him. Strawberries and cream. She nearly whimpered. Instead, she said, “I’ll take care of the laundry and bring more soap.”
He extended his arms, palms out. “I treated you rotten. You have every right to turn me down. You unlocked all the forbidden emotions inside me, and now they’re consuming me.”
She had to stay strong. For Austin. For her own sanity. “Once you go home, I’ll be out of sight and out of mind.”
“Believe me, I tried that strategy. You are not forgettable at all.”
“I’m also someone you wish had never entered your life.” She had to leave before she started to cry. He’d picked her sister. She wasn’t so pathetic she’d take him back after Penelope dumped him.
He snaked his arm around her waist, spooning her body with his hard, naked one. Her breath whooshed out in a shudder. She bit back a whimper of desire as her resolve crumbled.
“Your love is the only thing right in my life,” he whispered against her ear.
“You don’t want my love. You want a so-called friend who won’t show any emotion no matter what life throws at her.”
He turned her shoulders until she faced him. “My theories are shot to hell. I need love.”
As long as his naked erection pressed against her, a much more physical need would take precedence over love. Regardless, she threw her arms around his neck. If he wanted love, she would show him how good love could be.
He traced his finger over the stains of jam on her blouse. “Now you have to shower with me.”
“I have no choice.” She smiled into his eyes as he led her into the bathroom.
While she twisted the knob to start the shower, he pulled the pins from her hair, unraveling her painstaking coil. “I like the rumpled look better.”
She kicked off her low-heeled shoes and stepped into the stall. Still fully clothed, she lathered her hands with soap. “Come on in. I’ll scrub your back.”
He stepped over the lip of the basin, joining her in the tiny enclosure. “Why didn’t you take your clothes off?”
“My clothes need the cleaning, not my skin,” she quipped, rubbing her palms over his skin to distract him from more questions. She needed all the layers of protection she could get.
His eyes closed as he drifted under the steaming spray. He reached blindly for her. She caught his hands with her own and pulled him to her. Another sexual encounter like their last one would break her heart. “If you want to make love, there’s a catch.”
His eyes opened, wariness replacing pleasure.
“We have to kiss first. After all, I owe you one.” And yeah, a kiss wouldn’t help protect her, but she needed the two-way emotional connection.
Relief filled his expression. “I’m all yours.”
She covered his mouth with hers and drank from his lips while the water and steam surrounded them. He tasted of strawberries and wine and something unique to him that she couldn’t describe but would never get enough of.
Her sodden clothes hung from her shoulders and waist. Water s
treamed over her face, while she took her time exploring his mouth. She gloried in his strength, his warmth, even his occasional hesitancy.
Although she could have kissed him all night, she wanted to explore the rest of him too. Caressing his back, she sluiced away the water and palmed the curve of his buttocks.
“Olivia,” he groaned. “You have too many clothes on.”
“I’m starting to agree with you.” The wet, heavy fabric kept her from the closeness she craved.
He released the shirt buttons, worked the wet fabric off her arms, and tossed it out of the tub to puddle on the floor. Her bra fell away, replaced by Caleb’s soapy hands swirling circles over her breasts.
“Oh yes.” She arched her back. The soap rinsed away, and he tasted her, filling her with heat and delicious tingling. Clasping his head, she hauled his mouth up to hers, needing to kiss him as much as she could, in case she never got the chance again.
He pushed down her skirt, but the fabric continued to cling to the nylons on her hips. Breaking off the kiss, he knelt in front of her, bestowing his full attention on stripping her while she washed his strong, sexy back.
Freeing her of her clothes, he kissed the apex of her thighs. Gasping, she clutched the top of his head for balance. Surrounding one leg with both hands, he stroked down to her foot then up her thighs before repeating the process with the other leg.
If she continued to let him pleasure her, she’d come hard in an amazing orgasm, but he would orchestrate the entire encounter just as he had last time. She needed to be an active participant, to give as much as she took.
“Stand up,” she ordered. “I want to kiss you when I come.” Reaching under his shoulders, she tugged him until he stood then glided her fingers along his hips.
His arousal solid against her, he curved his hands under her hips and lifted her. She melded her mouth to his, wrapped a leg around his waist, and took him in.
He groaned. “I didn’t understand the importance—and joy—of letting myself feel.”
She clasped his back, pulling him deeper inside until the rapture turned her boneless, heating her from the inside out. “Tell me what you feel.”
“Anticipation, hope, and ecstasy fill me whenever we’re together.” He wedged her against the shower wall as water poured over them. “You electrify my world, and I want more.”
The wall she’d been trying to build around her heart crumbled. With one leg still around his waist, she leverage the other foot against the edge of the tub, raising herself until poised at his tip.
“Olivia.” Grasping her hips, he lowered her until he first filled her, then consumed her, destroyed her and rebuilt her.
“Keep saying my name. I like hearing it from your lips.” She nibbled along his firm, bristled jaw before settling her mouth on his smooth, full lips. Rising over him, she drew him out again, inch by inch, then impaled herself with the same steady measure.
He gasped. “You’re going to wish I’d pleasured you first if you keep this up.”
“I won’t be disappointed. I guarantee you.” Her control splintered with each drop of water teasing her skin. She kissed him, thrusting her tongue to the rhythm of their bodies. He gave her everything she wanted and more. So much more. More love than she wanted to feel. More need for him than she could control.
Unraveling both physically and emotionally, she clawed at him and pushed him harder. With her hands clamped on his cheeks, she devoured his mouth, swallowing his moans of pleasure and need. Finally, she wrapped both her legs around him and clung to him, kissing him as if her life depended on it, while their bodies flew over the edge of orgasmic bliss.
He continued to shudder as she closed her eyes and relaxed—melted, actually—against him. “I might thank the person who filled your bed with jam,” she murmured.
“My money’s on your son.”
“What?” She opened her eyes and drew back.
“Austin. I saw him going into the kitchen before community hour. When he said he was getting a glass of water, I didn’t think anything of it.”
What would have given her son the idea to do such a thing? She disentangled her body and reached around the shower curtain for a towel. “I thought you two were on good terms.”
“He may pick up on your moods more than you suspect.”
“What do you mean?” Ice crept up her spine and through her veins. After wrapping the towel around her torso, she pushed her dripping hair out of her eyes.
She’d tried to keep her heartache to herself and not let it interfere in her interactions with Austin. Yet if he’d really filled Caleb’s bed with jam, she could only conclude her unruly emotions had turned an innocent six year old into a devious monster.
“Kids pick up on their parents’ emotions, the highs and the lows,” Caleb said, as he’d surely repeated hundreds of times before.
For the first time since her marriage fell apart, she acknowledged he was right. Her emotional ups and downs caused her son trauma. Between the shoelace prank and this, Austin had issues.
Her inability to keep her emotions in check had damaged him. She had to get her priorities straight and put Austin and her foster children first in her life.
Chapter 23
The night had gone from bad to amazing, incredible, and stupendous. Now the pendulum swung back. Talking about Austin while they were still naked and entwined had been poor timing on Caleb’s part. Unfortunately, he couldn’t retract his words.
Olivia stepped from the shower without looking at him, a towel covering the places he longed to taste and touch again. “I’ll prepare another room for you to move into.”
A few minutes ago, he would have assumed she meant her room. But her passion seemed to have dissipated as soon as he mentioned her son. He couldn’t say the same for himself as he stood dripping and alone inside the tub. “Actually, I’m partial to this room. I’d rather stay here.”
Her eyes flared, and she clenched her jaw. “I’ll be back with clean sheets.”
He snagged her hand, trying to close the physical distance. “What did I do? Are you angry because I accused Austin? I’m not angry with him.”
“I’m not angry, just enlightened.” She passed him a towel, sliding her hand out of his grasp.
“I’d appreciate being enlightened.” She claimed the one spot of beautiful, glowing perfection in his life, and he desperately wanted to hang on to it. But she turned and left, wearing only the short white towel. He sighed and scrubbed his towel over his hair.
By the time he’d donned a clean pair of underwear and a V-neck T-shirt, she returned in a ratty gray sweat suit and set to work stripping the sheets.
Peeling up a corner on the opposite side, he partnered with her for the small task, hoping enough little events added together would convince her they belonged together. Not only was she his better half, she’d been Liam’s true mother from the start. His son had realized it long before he had.
Olivia gripped the sheet with white knuckles. “I can do my job alone.”
He never doubted her competence. “I want to help. I’m not an ordinary guest. Don’t treat me like one.”
Her eyes filled with tears, although he had no idea why. Perhaps if he dragged her back in the shower, they could make out until nothing mattered but their most basic feelings for each other.
Instead, he suggested, “Let’s sit and talk, or forget the talk and just hold each other. I cheated us out of our afterglow with an inappropriate conversation topic.” He’d brought up Austin when he should have exclusively focused on her glorious, wet, naked body.
She carried the stained sheets out the door then returned to the room, hugging her arms across her chest. “How we feel doesn’t matter. I have a child, and my first responsibility is to him.”
“So?” He'd probably written something similar in one of his books, but that responsibility didn’t detract from their feelings. He had a child too, and she didn’t want him any less because he was a package deal.
“
So, I’m not going to put Austin through what your mom put you through. When I’m on an emotional low, he acts out with jelly on the sheets and shoes tied to the chair.”
“Don’t blame yourself for Austin’s actions, and don’t throw yourself in the same category as my mother. I know the difference. You provided a stable home for Austin.”
“And I’m going to ensure it stays that way.” She snapped the elastic of the clean fitted sheet underneath the mattress.
No one could think clearly after such mind-blowing sex. Not to mention no one should have to think at all at this hour of the night. But he hated that she would once again leave less than totally satisfied from their lovemaking. For her sake, he needed to fix his mistakes.
“I’d like to talk to Austin about what he did.”
She hesitated. “Discipline is my job.”
“I won’t interfere. But like you said, I know what he’s going through.” He truly did want to help kids. As she had pointed out before, he’d never used his degree to work specifically with them. But he couldn’t dwell on the direction of his life. Austin wasn’t a test subject for a new career. He provided the key to Olivia’s heart.
If he couldn’t get her son on his side, he didn’t have a prayer for their future. She’d given him plenty of chances before, but he denied himself based on cold, rigid rules that could never lead to happiness. Now that he’d embraced love, she had closed her heart to him.
* * * *
“Do you have another snow day?
Austin’s arm jerked as he tugged up the shoulder straps on his snow pants. “Duh, it’s Saturday.”
“Hmm, guess I wasn’t thinking.” Caleb shoved his hands in his pockets, wishing he had Liam with him as a buffer, but his mother had been so ecstatic at the babysitting request, he couldn’t change his tactic. He’d wrecked his relationship with Austin, so he had to repair it. “Does your mom still have the scones out from breakfast?”
Austin shrugged, plopping on the floor to concentrate on his boots. “Go see for yourself.”
