by Brill Harper
With her neck arched that way, I take advantage and kiss my way down. She’s beautiful in her abandon. I don’t deserve this stolen moment, but I take it. I ravish her unblemished skin, marking it red with my beard and my teeth.
“Oh my God,” she cries.
As much as I love her neck, I want back in her mouth. I suck her tongue, and then I thrust mine into her like I’m fucking her.
Like I’m going to fuck her.
She’s like holding fire, her flames hot and bright. Her passion consumes me, and I burn with a lust I’ve never felt before.
I push the robe off her shoulder, exposing her breasts to me. “You’re beautiful.” I pull back enough to get her in a better position to suck that sweet tit in my mouth.
That’s when I notice the bruises.
CHAPTER FIVE
LAYNA
NOBODY HAS EVER MADE ME feel like this before. I’ve never been able to just let go, lose myself. I’m not even sure how we got here.
I fell asleep worrying about him out in the storm, and when I woke up and he was right there, so handsome and so close, I gave in to my instincts.
Turns out my instincts rock.
“Who did this to you?” he asks.
“Huh?” I’m mad that he’s pulled me out of my fantasy and back into my head. “Did what?”
He presses the lightest of kisses to my arm where angry purple bruises have formed.
Damn.
“It’s not important.”
Oh, Broody McBrooderson’s gaze gets all dark and intense. “The fuck it’s not.”
Mood broken, I pull the robe back on and cover myself. This is not a conversation I want to have, much less have while exposed.
“Dude, you are harshing my mellow.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“When you are trying to distract me, you pull out your college-girl airhead routine because you know it annoys me.”
“I am a college girl.” I push him back so I can get up. “All I have to do is breathe to annoy you anyway.”
“Who fucking put his hands on you?”
Ignore. Distract. “I didn’t want to dig around your dresser while you weren’t here, but I was hoping you maybe had some more clothes I could borrow. This robe is…”
“Is it who you’re running from? Is that why you don’t want to go home?”
“Just a t-shirt and maybe some boxers would be fine.”
“Someone grabbed you hard enough to leave finger-sized bruises on your arm. Tell me his name, and I will cut off his hand.”
I gasp at his sudden propensity for violence. Despite his size and his grumpy attitude, Rogan has been a gentle giant in my presence. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
We stare at each other for too long, him trying to pierce my brain and get my secrets, me trying to build a wall. The less he knows, the better.
“I’m sorry I kissed you.” I’m not.
That makes him blink. And then he gets this look that is equal parts disappointed and hurt. So he gets up.
“Rogan—”
He holds his hand up to stop me and silently walks away. I cover my face with my hands. God, why do I screw up everything? A normal woman could probably have turned that whole thing around and had him inside her by now. Instead, I’m alone again.
I feel the weight of his hand on my leg, and I uncover my face. He’s on his knees on the floor in front of me. His eyes are the richest shade of brown and full of concern I don’t deserve. “Rogan, I’m—”
“You’re not alone anymore.” He picks up my hand. It’s so small inside his. “I know you don’t trust that yet. And I shouldn’t get frustrated with you. It’s going to take time. But you’ll see. You’ll look back someday and see how every memory we share from here on out is me not letting you down, and then you’ll believe. I can be patient.”
I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say or think or feel. I can’t process what he’s saying, it’s too much. But the feeling of not having to face everything alone for once…I don’t even realize I’m crying until he wipes a tear so gently off my cheek. Thunder rumbles in the distance.
“Why don’t you want to go home, Layna?”
“My stepdad.”
“What did he do to you?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Then tell me.”
Maybe it’s worse than he thinks.
“My mom met Alan after my dad died three years ago. I pretty much thought he was a sleazeball, but she really liked him.” I shrug. “He was always nice to her. Really nice. So I guess I just thought maybe any guy that wasn’t my dad was a sleazeball and I tried to get along with him. For a while anyway.”
“You were close with your dad?”
I nod. “Very. He was my hero.” A pang of longing pierces my heart, doubling me over. God, I wish Daddy were still here. He’d have known the right thing to do. He always did the right thing.
But then, if he hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be in this mess, either.
Rogan is still on his knees on the floor in front of me, watching me so closely.
“Alan lost all my dad’s money pretty quickly. I think he used the bulk of it right away to get himself out of debt. I still have some set aside in a trust fund, I think, unless he found a way to access it. But I can’t get to it until I’m twenty-five. People started coming to the house. Taking things away. My mom…she didn’t handle it well. First losing my dad and then losing her wealth. She was kind of fragile.”
“Was?”
My whole body gets cold. “She started taking pills. Alan found her this strange doctor who got her whatever she wanted whether she needed it or not. And about a year ago, she was gone, too.”
“Gone?”
“She died. Overdose.” My hands are trembling, so he takes them in his, giving me comfort. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt comfort. “I blame Alan. I wanted her in rehab, but he just kept bringing that stupid doctor around until I was an orphan.”
I was sad when she died, but it was hard to mourn the shell of the person she’d become. My mother, the woman I loved, had been dying since the day she met Alan.
“Alan managed to get everything that my father owned into his name by then. Everything except for my trust fund. We had a fight. He knew I thought he was a loser, and he hated that. He was a real macho man, didn’t like that I didn’t fall at his feet. At some point, he found my journal. At first, I didn’t know it, but I realized later he’d been using it to sabotage me. He figured out all my weak spots. He screwed up my grades, got my friends to alienate me.” At Rogan’s questioning look, I explain, “He used my passwords I had written down to mess with my college assignments and grades. He used my social media accounts to mess with my friendships. My phone. He was whacked out like Gossip Girl on steroids.”
“I don’t know who Gossip Girl is.”
“Well, I’ll never believe Gossip Girl is Dan, but that’s another story. It was a TV show. And we’re getting way off track. Anyway, Alan ruined me from the inside out. And then he read an entry and found out I was a virgin.”
Rogan stiffens.
“He sort of sold me to one of his ‘business associates.’”
“He what?” Rogan explodes.
“He set up some sort of date with some old guy he owed money to. I figured out at that point what was going on. How he knew so much about me. How he’d turned everyone against me. The buyer was coming into town a few weeks later, so I made a fake entry in my journal. About the night I snuck out and lost my virginity. I came home from school and Alan was there. Livid. Shaking. This strange angry red color.” I shiver. I’ve never seen anyone so close to a psychotic episode. “He ranted and raved at me for an hour and then decided I made it up. He called that doctor, the one who turned my mom into a vegetable, and locked me in his office until he could get there.”
I rub my arm where the bruises are tender. “I didn’t go willingly, as you might imagine.�
�
“Why did he call the doctor? Was he going to drug you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. The doctor was there to…he was going to have him examine me. For a hymen.”
Rogan loses all color in his face. “Fucking Christ, he’s a dead man.”
“So, while I was in his office, I hacked his computer, tried to move a little money around, tried to access my trust, but couldn’t. And then I found the keys to my car. The one he’d been keeping from me for the last week, forcing me to be a prisoner in my own home.”
“You escaped.”
“I escaped.”
Rogan’s big hand, so gentle yet capable of so much, cups my cheek. “You’re the strongest, bravest person I know.”
Which of course sets me off into tears.
“He’ll never hurt you again. I promise. You are not alone.”
I’ve been so alone for so long, I’m not even sure how to feel. Grateful seems like a tame word. But I also feel responsible. I don’t want Rogan dredged into my crazy world. He’s got this great, quiet life of no drama, and I just come barreling through like the Kool-Aid man going through a wall.
“He isolated you for too long. You’re like a flower that needs sun.”
A dandelion maybe.
Rogan fixes my robe. I’d forgotten I’ve been sitting there with my boobs out. Nice one, Layna. “Well, at least now I understand what was north,” he says.
“What was north?” I ask. Because I have no idea what I was heading to other than away.
“Me.”
CHAPTER SIX
ROGAN
SHE’S NOT SURE OF ME yet. And that is fine. I can be patient. I need her to choose me anyway. She’s been manipulated enough.
“We can tackle all this tomorrow. You need to sleep.”
“No comments on my virginity?”
“Not tonight.”
“I’ll sleep here on the couch.”
I shake my head. “You take my bed, princess.” I want her in my sheets. I want my pillow to smell like her.
She looks at my couch dubiously. “I can’t do that. You’ve done enough for me. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.”
I hope she can see in my eyes that will not be happening. But I don’t want to scare her. “I won’t ever lock you up. Not like he did. I swear.”
“I know that.”
“But you’re stuck with me.”
She doesn’t look scared. But she does look sad. “Rogan, I think the guy he sold my virginity to is some kind of mob man. I can’t bring you into this.”
“I’m already in this.”
“If anything happened to you because of me…”
“Do I look like I’m afraid?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think you’re afraid of anything.”
“That’s not true. I’m afraid you won’t trust me to help you. I’m afraid you’re going north again the minute I let my guard down.” God help me if she does.
“You can’t possibly be this altruistic. And if it’s just sex you want, I can’t believe there aren’t a lot easier ways for you to get it. Why are you so eager to jump into my problems and help me? A normal person would wish me well and send me away.”
“First of all, I’m not doing this to get in your pants.”
She shrugs.
“Darlin’, if I were just after getting my dick wet, we both know you wouldn’t be a virgin anymore.” Those amber eyes get all wide and round, then narrow into slits. Before she can let her spitfire attitude rise to the top, I go on, “Yeah, I said it. And I’ll say worse and what’s more, you’re going to like it. I’m a filthy sonofabitch.” She’s just blinking rapidly, and I can’t believe I’ve found her mute button. I file that away for later. “You were rubbing on my dick earlier, and we both know it wouldn’t have taken much to convince you to ride it all the way. It’s more than sex between us, and you know that, too. It has been since the minute you opened that sassy mouth. Maybe we don’t make sense to the rest of the world, but I’m not worried about them right now. I’m only worried about you. So, yeah, we’re gonna fuck. But not yet and that’s not what’s keeping us here.”
“Okay, caveman. What makes you think you’re going to be the one to take my virginity?”
“I’m not taking. You’re going to give it to me. When you’re ready. Nobody makes that decision but you.” I stand and pull her up. “I’m going to steal your fucking heart, though. You can be damned sure about that.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re awfully cocky. Where do you get all that confidence from?” She holds up one hand. “And don’t go for the easy joke about being cocky, please.” I raise my eyebrows. “I know exactly how much you’re packing.” She blushes, and we both remember her grinding on my cock not that long ago. “But, seriously. You met me yesterday, and I’m a hot mess of daddy issues and a felon now besides. Why on earth are you interested in pursuing this?”
I take that hand she’s holding up and kiss the palm before placing it over my heart. “I have no fucking idea.”
She snorts and then starts laughing and it’s the best sound. Well, I guess I like all her sounds. But her laughter is easily in the top five.
“C’mon, princess. You need a good night’s sleep.”
“They’re going to be looking for me. My stepdad is going to know I couldn’t get far when he comes to retrieve his stolen car. And I don’t know how much the guy paid for my…if he can’t get the money back from Alan, he’s going to come for me.”
“That’s a tomorrow problem.” I lead her to my bed and pull the covers back before turning to the dresser to get her the requested t-shirt and boxers.
“What’s a tonight problem, then?” she asks, twirling her fingers in a gesture, so I turn around while she dresses. Fuck, knowing she’s bare is killing me.
“Tonight’s problem is how I’m going to sleep with this cock as hard as iron knowing you’re in my bed.”
“You can turn around.”
Layna is in my bed, the sheets up around her chin. It’s almost perfect. Since I won’t be getting in it with her, it’s not quite. But I like her in my bed. A lot.
“You have such a dirty mouth, Rogan. I feel like I should be clutching my pearls around you.”
My mind immediately goes to giving her a pearl necklace. Of course.
“I like making you blush, princess. I’m going to say a whole lot worse, I promise. Good thing you like dirty talk.”
“How do I know what I like? I’m a virgin, remember?”
My cock is like a steel pipe in my pants right now. Fuck. A virgin. I’m going to be the first and last lover she ever has.
But not tonight.
“You were grinding on my cock like a girl who knows what she likes. We’re going to be really good together.”
But not tonight.
I kiss her forehead. Again. I like the way it makes me feel, though. I like treating her tender. I’m gonna like treating her rough, too.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
She grabs my arm. “Wait. We could share the bed. I think I could roll over two or three times without getting to the other side. There’s plenty of room.”
My cock aches. “I don’t think that’s a great idea.”
She bites her lip again, but this time it’s not adorable. She’s scared. “Please stay with me.”
How could I say no? “Okay, but no hanky-panky. I don’t want to wake up to find you jumping me while I’m asleep.”
“Did you just say hanky-panky? Like for real?”
I just smile and grab some sweats to sleep in, changing in the bathroom. It’s going to be a long fucking night, knowing she’s so close but I can’t touch her.
Not yet.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LAYNA
I’VE BEEN LIVING WITH ROGAN for a few days now. We’ve been in this weird holding pattern. Like pleasant roommates most of the time until he looks at me a certain way, his eyes all dark, and I get instantly wet. Like, gushing w
et. It’s not normal. It can’t be.
I’ve never felt like this before. Never been so aroused and wanting. And I think he can tell.
If I were here against my will, I would say I have Stockholm syndrome. The way he touches me softly when he passes by me. The way he looks into my eyes when I’m talking, like he’s really listening to what I have to say. I’m falling for him a little more with each passing hour. Trusting him. Wanting him the way I should not.
I am currently wearing clothes he bought for me at Walmart. Eating food he bought for me because I have no money. I am contributing very little to the cause, and I hate it. Which explains why I am currently stirring a pot of chili that doesn’t…look right.
I excel at microwave food. The rest not so much. But I wanted to do something. To try to show my appreciation. Chili sounded easy.
Chili lies.
The sound of tires on gravel stops my heart until I look out and see the familiar shape of Rogan climbing down from his truck.
I meet him at the door. “Come with me.” I grab his hand.
“Hello?” he says as I drag him over to the loft stairs.
“Don’t be mad, okay?”
“What did you do, Layna?”
“I was bored. You leave me alone for really long periods of time, Rogan.” I take a deep breath and continue so he won’t. “And don’t say something sensible like I have to go to work. I get that. I do. But I want to contribute. So, don’t be mad.”
“What is that smell?”
I take a whiff. “Chili.”
“You made chili in my office?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I made chili in your kitchen. I did this in your office.” I lead him to his now clear desk.
“Where is all my stuff?”
I roll my eyes. “I filed it, dummy. You can’t run an efficient business if you don’t know where anything is.”
“I don’t know where anything is now. You moved it all.”
