by Abigail Agar
“I am just worried.” The words leapt out of her before she could really think them through. “I am concerned that I am about to lose everything, and there is nothing that I can do about it.”
She had to admit, this situation had brought out a stronger side to her. Mary had spent so much of her life being a quiet wallflower who did not dare speak out of turn. Mary assumed that it would always be that way, but now she knew she had to say how she felt or there would never be another chance..
She had become braver but would have traded that bravery for a continued easy life in a heartbeat.
Walter leaned back in his chair and stared intently at Mary. He could not quite believe how much of his time this was taking up. If he could grab hold of William now and shake him, he would. It was just a shame that he was in his grave enjoying an eternal slumber, escaping all of this drama.
“I cannot change your father’s wishes, Mary. I hope that you can understand that. It is not my job to change them, just to see them through. I do not know what it is that you wish me to do exactly?” He cocked his eyebrow, knowing that he had Mary in a corner. When she did not answer, he continued, “All I believe I can do is send a letter off to see what comes from it.”
“Yes.” Mary nodded, wondering how she had been shut down again. “Of course, thank you very much.”
She pushed her chair back and stood up, defeat slumping her shoulders forward. Walter did not say anything; he focused his eyes towards the desk. In his mind, he was desperately praying for Mary to leave before she could ask any more questions. He was thoroughly sick of talking to her. Much to his relief, he heard her footsteps making their way towards the door, but before he could fully succumb to that happiness, Mary did ask one final question.
“Did my father truly believe that I would be happy with the Duke? Is that why he did not give me any alternative? He does not seem to have given me any choices when it comes to whom I marry, and he has forced me to give up my home if I do not agree. Does that mean …?” She paused thoughtfully and let her whole body slump in a way that was not usually considered polite. “Do you think that means he did not love me? Maybe he never cared about me at all.”
Walter’s eyes closed; this was starting to become his own personal hell. “Mary, I do not know what your father was thinking when he gave me these instructions. I cannot speak on his behalf …”
“No, I understand,” she jumped in quickly, not wanting to go around in circles with Walter. “I am terribly sorry; I must be thinking aloud.” She glanced up at him through her eyelashes to see him giving her a very curious look. “Sorry, I shall leave now. Thank you for your time.”
Mary closed the door behind her with a click and walked rapidly down the hallways of her home towards her bedroom. Her heart thumped so loudly it was almost as if it was bouncing off the stone walls of her house rather than just her ribcage.
I am not quite sure what happened then, she thought desperately. But I do not believe that went well.
Mary stopped in her tracks as she stalked into her bedroom; she had been searching for some time alone, but there was a maid in her room straightening out the light blue sheet that covered her bed. Horror struck her. She did not know what to say; the shyness that normally crippled her voice box came back with a vengeance. She wanted to turn on her heels and find somewhere else to get some alone time, but it was too late for that. The maid had already heard her.
“Oh, I am sorry,” she said. “I shall be out of your way in a moment if that is what you want.”
Mary sighed with relief. Daisy was actually a welcome sight. She was probably the only person in the world that she actually did not mind being in her bedroom at such a horrible moment of her life. “Oh no, it is fine. I shall just sit here.”
Mary watched Daisy work … or so it seemed. She was not actually watching what Daisy was doing; she was examining her closely trying to work out just how much she could tell her. The young girl had given her no clue that she was not to be trusted, but Mary still felt anxious about letting anyone in. It was not common for a Lady to confide in a maid; it blurred the lines between the classes a little too much, but since her sister was not around, she found herself with little choice. It was Daisy or no one, and she did not think she could suffer in silence.
“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Daisy asked breezily as she worked. “You look like you have something on your mind.”
“Only the same as before.” Mary chuckled mirthlessly. “I am trying to work out the right thing to do with regards to this marriage.” She sighed deeply. “I thought that I had made up my mind, and I was all ready to sort things out with Walter, but things did not go to plan.”
Now that Mary was away from it all, she was starting to think that maybe Walter had manipulated her a little. He did not seem to answer any of her questions directly which was utterly infuriating. Maybe Mary was brave enough to speak out a little more, but she did not feel confident about yelling at the man.
“Has something changed?” Daisy did not want to sound too eager being embarrassed that she so desperately needed to know if her household position was safe. The last thing she wanted was for Mary to think that she was being callous and uncaring about her situation.
Daisy’s problem might have been different to Mary’s, on a completely different scale, but she felt that both their issues needed to be treated with equal severity.
“I think that there is not much option for me,” Mary admitted. “I believe I must marry the Duke. I do not see another way out.”
Daisy took a seat on the edge of the bed and stared at the Lady of the house, Guilt racked through her as she realised that she had probably impacted on this decision a little too much. “I am sorry, do you feel this way because of me and what I said about my job? Because I am sure we will all find work elsewhere if it comes to it …”
“It is not just you; it is everything,” Mary admitted. “I am starting to feel like I am being backed into a corner.”
Daisy wished that she had some better advice to give Mary, but this was not something that she had any experience in. Nor could she be biased, which meant it was safer to say nothing.
“Maybe meeting with the Duke a second time will be a positive experience,” she offered hopefully. “It is always challenging to get to know a person based purely on first impressions. He could have been showing off, or maybe he was a little stiff from shyness.” Daisy hoped that she was not stepping out of line with this remark, but she felt it essential to say to get her point across. “Maybe you were not the best version of yourself either.”
“Hmm, maybe not,” Mary agreed with surprise. She had not been the best version of herself in an attempt to appear undesirable. Maybe if she acted differently the next time, then the results would be different too. “Maybe it will all work out alright.”
This time she really hoped that she could develop some true feelings for the Duke. If there were to be even a glimmer of hope that she could fall for him, it would be fine. She needed to love him now, even more so than before.
“Thank you for your advice, Daisy.” She smiled, a little happier now. “You have made me feel a whole lot better about everything.”
Daisy reached forward to hold onto Mary’s hand. “That is what friends are for.”
She did not know it when she said it, nor did she mean for it to happen, but Mary felt the pressure intensify. The heavy blocks on her shoulders were growing by the second; any minute now she would be unable to move under the pressure of it all. If Daisy was her friend, then she owed her the opportunity to keep her job and her life.
“I see you as a friend now too,” she whispered. “You have been very kind to me, and I hope that I do not let you down.”
Chapter 7
An orangey glow clung to the air as the candles flickered in the light breeze that raced through the ball hall. Men in their finest suits danced with ladies in their fanciest dresses to the music being played by the band situated in the corner o
f the room. The entire room had a magical feel to it, and there was a sense that anything could happen. It was an atmosphere that everyone was getting swept up in.
Well, almost everyone.
Duke Edmund Smith felt stiff and uncomfortable as he stood in the corner of the room, hiding out of sight as much as he could. His back was so straight it was almost as if he had a rod implanted into it. He knew that he should not have come to this silly event; he knew that it would not go as his mother hoped and could not quite believe that he had been tricked into this. It was like a meat market; everyone was on display. How could anyone enjoy such a thing?
“There are some incredibly beautiful women here,” the much older gentleman commented to Edmund. “I suppose it might be time to find myself a wife.”
Edmund’s eyes opened wider in shock. “You do not already have a wife?” He struggled to believe that a man who had at least a decade on him did not have a young wife at home.
“I was betrothed once, but I did not like the girl.” The man shrugged in a blasé manner. “I did not see there would be any issue. I have always been terribly busy with my business anyway, so I have hardly had time to notice my lack of wife. It is only my mother’s passing that has made me consider this more seriously.”
Edmund scanned his eyes over the crowd, wondering just how lonely he would become if he were to lose his mother. He adored his mother; she was the closest person to him. How lonely would he be when she was no longer around? He could not be so naïve as to believe that she would be around forever, however much he wanted that to be the case. Plus, his mother had made it very clear that she wanted him to find a wife. He did not want to be a disappointment to her.
Lady Mary Roberts had never had her mother; she must have been very lonely …
Not that he was thinking about Mary. He shook his head to rid his brain of any thoughts of her. Edmund was quite sure what it was, but the more he tried to stop thinking about Lady Mary Roberts, the more she crept up into his brain when he was unaware. He did not know why; as far as he was concerned, he was done with her. He did not ever have to think of her again. Once he sent off his letter, cutting all ties, he could move forward with his life in whatever way he desired.
“What about you?” The gentleman interrupted his thoughts. “Do you have anyone in particular that you wish to be your wife?”
As Edmund looked over the crowd, he hoped that someone would stand out and catch his eye, but all he could see was an ocean of nameless faces. He did not know what any of these people were like, so why would he be interested in any of them?
“I do not know,” he replied glumly with his eyes on the ground now.
The gentleman chuckled loudly. “Then I suggest you get out on the dance floor and spend time with some of them.” He nudged Edmund as if they were old friends rather than two people who had only just met. “They all seem to have a lot of interest in you at any rate.”
Edmund had noticed the eyes upon him; he was acutely aware of the whispers that surrounded the ballroom about him, but they only served to make him even more uncomfortable. “Me, or my title? Me or my wealth?”
The gentleman looked at him with blank eyes. “Is there any difference?”
There was not. Not really. Marriages set up were often of convenience. Lords picked Ladies based on their dowry offers and titles, and Ladies picked the men who could give them the best life. It was a hollow, empty way of finding a life partner.
“I think I shall get another drink before thinking about dancing,” Edmund said while moving away from his new friend. “I shall speak with you later.”
Edmund had not danced for a very long time. He had been given lessons when he was a young boy, just as everyone else, but he did not enjoy them so did not care to remember the steps. He did not want to be humiliated now if he was the only person who did not know how to move properly.
He got so wrapped up in his worries that he was not really concentrating on where he was going. Edmund’s eyes were on the ground rather than his destination, which caused him to walk right into someone else.
“Oh no, I am terribly sorry,” he said immediately as his eyes drank in the slip of a girl before him. “I hope I did not hurt you.”
She did not look hurt at all. If anything, her eyes had lit up in glee as if she liked the look of the Duke. “Oh no,” she purred. “I think I am fine; thank you very much.” She fluttered her eyelashes, hoping that he would be blindsided by her. “My name is Lady Victoria Hartmon. How about you?”
The Duke took Victoria’s hand, and he pressed a kiss against it, just as he knew he was expected to do. “You look beautiful,” he told her kindly. She did have a pretty face, even if it was a little understated compared to the rest of the women in the room. “The blue of your dress brings out your eyes.”
Victoria giggled and blushed in a coy manner. At twenty-one years of age, Victoria could not wait to get her hands on a husband. This was her third season, and she was growing increasingly desperate. The last thing she wanted was to end up an old, unmarried maid like her aunt. She wanted to be a wife, to be a mother, and the sooner that happened, the better.
As Victoria ran her eyes up and down Duke Edmund, glee filled her chest entirely. What a stroke of luck that the most eligible bachelor in the entire room had been the one to bump into her. It had to be fate telling her that this was the one.
She could feel her claws sinking into him, and she did not want to let him go.
Edmund could almost see Victoria turning on the charm, which only sent him back into his previous stiffened stance. This was the moment he was supposed to ask her to dance; he just knew it. Maybe he was not experienced at this sort of thing, but he was aware of that much.
Edmund was not sure why, but he did not really want to. There was something about Victoria that made him uneasy.
Stop being silly, he scolded himself silently. I am here to dance. Here is a Lady to dance with; it will only be one song.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked rapidly. At first, he thought he might have said the words too quickly for her to understand them, but she nodded eagerly. “Right, yes.”
She linked her arm through his and took the lead towards the dance floor. Victoria had an expert way of taking control without actually appearing to. To everyone else, it appeared that Edmund was happily leading Victoria to dance. Even if that was not the case.
They found a space on the floor and faced one another. As Victoria put her hands on Edmund’s shoulders, she insisted on maintaining an uncomfortable level of eye contact. Edmund could barely stand it; she made him feel uneasy. He did not think it was her obvious interest in him; he was used to that. It was her forward nature. He did not know how to take it.
As Edmund placed his hands on Victoria’s hips, his whole body remained numb to any kind of feelings. There was no spark as their skin brushed, and with this young Lady, Edmund did not ever think there would be.
He could not keep looking at her; it only highlighted how little he felt for her.
Fortunately, the music started up very quickly which gave Edmund something else to think about. He had to concentrate so hard on getting the steps right that he could not give Victoria any of his attention.
That was something that did not escape her notice.
It had been a very long time since Victoria had danced with a man that she found attractive. It had been even longer since she had been anywhere near a man who could give her the sort of life that she desired. Duke Edmund Smith could do that and more. He was a very wealthy man with a wonderful reputation, better than anyone she knew. His international shipping business was a huge success, and with his dedication, it got better every single day.
If she were ever going to get a husband, she would not do better than him.
“The band is wonderful,” she breathed into his ear. “Do you not think?”
“Hmm?” Edmund was distracted by the sensation of her warm breath on him. He forgot where he was for a moment and
almost made a foolish error with his moves. “Oh, yes, they are terribly good.”
“Do you like music?” The steps were second nature to Victoria; she barely had to focus at all.
“Yes, I do,” Edmund replied, thinking that to be a very silly question. Everyone enjoyed music, did they not? It was the perfect form of escapism. “Do you?”
“Oh yes,” Victoria cooed. “I love the way that music makes me feel …”
She continued to talk in Edmund’s ear, but he could barely listen to what she was saying. He did not mean to be rude, but her words were not captivating enough to distract him. Not when he needed to focus so badly. In fact, the whole thing was so stressful that he felt utterly relieved when the song came to an end, and he could move away from his dancing partner.
That is not something I am in a hurry to do again, he thought desperately. Maybe it is best that I just leave …
“Thank you, Lady Victoria Hartmon,” he said while bobbing into a bow. “It was wonderful to dance with you, will you excuse me please?”
Victoria narrowed her eyes in anger, and Edmund turned on his heels and started to walk away from her. She did not want to be seen as someone who trailed after a man who had shown no interest in her, but she could also not let that incredible Duke get away.
He was just nervous that is all, she convinced herself as she fanned her face. The heat was so intense she just knew that her face was stained red. And he clearly did not know how to dance well. If I speak with him alone without any music or pressure, I shall get to know him better.
Making a snap decision, Victoria scooped up the skirts of her dress and followed Edmund out into the hallway where he had just escaped the stifling atmosphere of the ballroom.
Upon hearing footsteps behind him, Edmund was surprised to see that Victoria had followed him. His words got lost in his throat for just a second, and he found himself speechless. He did not know exactly what was happening, but he had a feeling he would not like it.
Victoria could feel herself about to do something rash and utterly crazy. It was an act that she had been driven to by desperation alone. If this were her first season, or maybe even her second, she would not even consider acting in such a manner, but something had to change. She could not carry on the way that she had; it would not do again.
