by Abigail Agar
There was an itch in her chest and an urge. It was impossible to resist, but she made herself do what she knew was right. The chemistry between them intensified as Edmund pulled himself up to meet Mary’s eyes; it was so hard that she had to bite down hard on her bottom lip, but she just about managed it.
“So now that Walter knows,” Edmund said with a smile. “And you have said yes, I presume it is time to start making the announcements. We need to submit the news to the local paper and send out all the relevant letters. Then we can begin planning.”
He clutched onto Mary’s hands tightly and looked at her lovingly. He felt the need to lean down and kiss her, just like he did at the bookshelf, only this time, the sensation was even more urgent.
We are engaged now … it should be alright. Should it not? It cannot be seen as a bad thing if we are going to be wed.
Edmund could feel himself trying to justify what his body had already decided it was going to do. His lips edged closer and closer, and he could feel his mouth puckering. He expected Mary to pull away, to tell him that it was wrong, but from the looks of it, she wanted this just as much as he did. She was slowly rising onto her toes, succumbing to that magnetic feeling between them, bringing them in. It was almost completely out of their control; they could not do anything but move in nearer.
And then it happened.
Their lips brushed together very lightly and only for a second, but it was enough for them both to know. Explosions of desire exploded within them, causing them to wish that they could kiss for longer … but of course, they could not. They had already overstepped the line with this one, small action. They could not take it any further; it would only lead to all kinds of trouble. Walter was waiting for them inside, and if they waited any longer, he would come after them. They could not be found in a compromising position; it would wreck everything.
That would simply have to be a taster to let them know what was waiting for them after they got married. It was going to be an utterly wonderful life.
“Come on,” Mary whispered blissfully. “Let us go inside. We need to tell Walter the good news. I am sure he cannot wait to hear us wedding planning …”
Edmund chuckled and allowed Mary to lead him inside. He knew someone else who would be happy too, his mother who had been in varying states of panic all week long. To be able to tell her that everything was going to be just as she wanted would please her greatly. She would likely celebrate for the next month.
I shall have to introduce Mary to my mother now, and I feel certain that they will adore one another. It is going to be wonderful.
Chapter 15
“You must be kidding!” Edmund yelled angrily at his mother as the words sank in. He could not believe it; how had everything gone from so amazing to so terrible in just a few short days. Why could the path of true love never run smoothly? “I cannot believe it; this is terrible.”
“Well you better start believing it,” Iris told him with a grave tone. “These rumours have not started from nowhere, and with the Hartmon family’s power and respect in this town, you will not be able to shake them off.”
Edmund pulled his fingers out from his hair where he had been tugging hard due to stress. “You do not believe what Victoria is saying, do you Mother?”
Iris pursed her lips and shook her head. “I do not believe what is being said about you, no. However, I can tell that something happened at that ball, and I want to know what. I have let you have your privacy about the situation, but now I feel that I do need to know.” Edmund gave her a look. Suggesting to Iris that she needed to justify what she had just said. “If I am defending you against people who already do not believe that a widowed woman should be given an opinion, then I would like to know just what I am defending you for.”
Edmund nodded and took a seat on the sofa. He perched on the edge feeling totally unable to relax. “I did not enjoy the ball from the moment I got there, but I stayed to prove to you and myself that I had really given it a try. Ironically, at the time, I did not want to marry Mary so badly that I was prepared to give it a chance, but it was all very strange.” Edmund shuddered at the memory. “I felt like I was on display and that the others were too. Men staring at women as if they were things to purchase in a shop, and women eyeing up Lords and Dukes because of the amount of money and property they had. It was all very strange.”
“So where did Victoria come into this?” Iris could not stop her impatience from growing. Edmund was telling this tale in a very laborious way, and she needed to get to the details. Like any mother, Iris could not stand anyone talking about her family in a derogative fashion.
“I bumped into her accidentally,” Edmund admitted. “And I spoke with her a little bit. We danced too.” The memory was a little foggy because it was so unimportant to him. Mary filled so much of his brain that he could hardly think of anything else. “But then I left. I realised that I did not want to be there anymore. I walked out of the ball hall and moved into the hallway ready to leave.” He stared at his mother, desperately needing her to understand and believe him. “But Victoria followed me out there. She was … she seemed determined to make something happen with me. I tried to make it very obvious that I just wanted to leave, but she was insistent. She is the one who tried to kiss me. It was never the other way around.”
Iris breathed out deeply. She believed her son wholeheartedly. He was not a scoundrel who wanted to ruin the lives of others; he cared about reputation and behaviour. She had raised him in a way that caused him to be respectful of the rules and etiquette. She understood that he was telling the truth … but that did not make it any easier. “I do not know how you can make anyone see that. I know that it is not right, but her story sounds far more believable than yours.”
“It does?” Edmund’s head fell into his hands. “I suppose to the outside world it does, but to me, I know that would never be the case. How can I get people to know that I am not a terrible person?”
Iris tapped her hand on her chin as she thought. This was just the sort of thing that her husband would have been great for. He could deal with any sort of crisis perfectly; she never had to worry when he was around.
But he was long gone now. This was up to her.
“Who do you feel the need to prove yourself to?” she asked cautiously. “Is it the men you work alongside every single day, or is it someone else?”
“Who else could it be?” Edmund asked desperately. “All those people who I do business with will now see me as some sort of scoundrel.”
Iris resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She did not bother to tell Edmund that it hardly mattered since most of the men that he worked alongside were scoundrels themselves. He should have known that already. He probably did, but in his panicked state, he could only think of himself and his own reputation.
“I was more thinking about Mary,” she said softly. “If I have heard this news, then there is a chance that she has too. Maybe you need to be thinking about how she might be feeling.”
“Oh my goodness.” Edmund had not even thought about Mary, not really. He was so convinced that they were solid, that their bond was unbreakable, that he did not pause to wonder what might be happening in her world. “Do you think she has heard?”
Iris shrugged sadly. “I would think so. I believe that everyone has heard. Like I said before, Lady Victoria Hartmon comes from a very powerful family; her father knows everyone. If he is telling people that you purposefully ruined his daughter’s reputation and then announced an engagement to someone else, then it is very likely that everyone has heard.”
Edmund nodded as he tried to process this. He no longer cared about what the Hartmon family and his business associates were saying about him. All he could think about was Mary’s crushed face when she heard such terrible things about him.
“Do you think she will break off our engagement?” he asked, more to himself than his mother, but it was she who ended up answering him.
“She would have good reason to,” she told him
honestly. “Which is why I think you might need to speak with her before she can get herself too upset. A woman’s mind does not work in the same way as a man’s. She will not be able to forget about this until she learns the truth from you; she will obsess over it until it drives her crazy.”
“Should I go now?” Edmund pushed his chair back, and he stood upright with determination flooding his face. “Before this can get too far.”
“You should,” Iris agreed. “But not until you have calmed down. You do not want to make this already complex situation any more challenging than it already is. If you try to speak to Mary in a state of panic, your emotions will make you seem much guiltier than you actually are.”
“I am not guilty at all,” Edmund hissed angrily. “I have nothing to feel bad about,”
Iris grabbed her son’s hands tightly and stared intensely at him. She really needed him to listen as she said the words. “You did not do anything wrong; I know that. Do not forget that I am on your side.”
“Yes, I know …” Edmund started, but Iris was not about to let him finish that thought.
“I know you did not do anything wrong, but Mary does not. You also need to think that while you say Mary did not like you at first, just as you did not her, you still went to a ball in the middle of courting her. That might hurt her feelings even if the rest of it does not. You shall have to be sensitive and kind when you do go to see her.” She loosened her grip on him and allowed him to step away. “So just take some time, have a few moments to calm down. Then take a carriage to see her.”
Edmund knew that his mother was right. Caving to the temptation to rush in to see Mary while he was such a mess simply because he felt impatient would not do anyone any favours. He really did need her to listen to him when he went to see her, or he would end up losing her.
How ironic; he went to the ball to try and find someone else that he would want to marry instead of Mary, and now the fact that he had was threatening the only thing that he had ever wanted.
“Yes, Mother, I see,” he said sadly. “I shall do what you say. I will take some time.”
As Iris watched him walk away, she hated the helpless sensation that overcame her. All that she wanted to do was help, but this was mostly out of her control. All that she could do was wait and hope that her son did the right thing.
***
Mary had not moved from her seat on the edge of her bed ever since she had heard the news. An ice-cold numbness encased her; she did not know what she felt or where to even begin processing the information.
“Lady Roberts?” Daisy asked carefully as she stepped into her bedroom. She could feel the thick tension in the air before she even entered the room. “Chef has sent me up here with a plate of food. I do not know if you are hungry …”
Her words trailed off as Mary turned to face her with agony in her eyes. She had never seen someone look at her with so much pain; it literally floored her. Granted, she had not seen much of Mary when her father died, but still … this felt like it was on another level.
“I do not know what to do, Daisy,” Mary gushed desperately. “What am I supposed to do?”
Daisy already knew what the Lady was talking about; it had been the gossip of the staff that actually led Mary to finding out about the other woman. One of the kitchen staff had a sister who worked for the Hartmon home, so the information had come directly from the source.
Still, knowing did not help her with what to say next.
“I am terribly sorry, Lady Roberts; no one could have suspected that His Grace would behave in such a manner.”
Mary glanced down at the floor. She knew that Edmund could behave in such a way; she knew very well that he was capable of it. After all, he had kissed her without being her husband. Her heart fell to her feet as she considered that might not have been the act of love that she once assumed. It had been that way for her, but clearly not for him.
Maybe she did not know him at all. She had been so desperate to like him because it helped her and everyone around her that she had ignored everything that might tell her he was not a good person after all. Maybe there had been signs all along; maybe there were many times that she should have known, but she chose to ignore them.
“What do I do, Daisy? What am I supposed to do? I am supposed to marry the man who has ruined the reputation of another woman. Who has …” She stopped herself at the last moment before she added ‘has ruined me too’. That was far too humiliating to admit.
“I am sure this is a good enough reason not to marry him,” Daisy said quietly. In all honesty, she had no idea how the silly rules of the upper classes worked. If a man had done something to humiliate her, she would show him where the door was without a second thought, but then she did not have a title or expectations to hold her back. “Maybe you need to send out word to Mr Thompson. You shall need to speak with him to see what you can do next.”
Again, this was something that Daisy did not fully understand, but she had seen enough meetings to know a little.
“Yes, you are right,” Mary agreed with a nod. It felt very overwhelming to consider bringing Walter into this mess, but that was what she had to do. He was in charge of the will and the inheritance. Maybe now things could change. “I shall send word to him immediately. Ask him to come to meet with me.”
Maybe it should have been surprising that he had not come of his own accord, but then again, there was a chance that he did not think it a big deal. Men did not quite view things in the same way that women did, as far as Mary knew.
She grabbed some of the bread off the plate that Daisy had given to her and took a bite from it. As she chewed, it felt like sawdust in her mouth. All of this had completely zapped her of her appetite, but she forced it down regardless. She was going to need her energy if she was going to make it through what had to come next.
“I shall write the letter now,” she said with a half smile. “The sooner I get this started, the sooner it will be over.”
Mary did not like the dream that she had built up in her mind to die. She had spent the last few days dreaming about kisses, wedding dresses, married life … now all of that was done. She could not marry a man who thought it acceptable to kiss other women; it was not right. She deserved so much better.
“Lady Roberts?” The butler stood at the door to Mary’s room with a serious expression. “There is a gentleman at the door to speak with you.”
“Oh good.” She smiled at Daisy, satisfaction racing through her system. At least this was something. “That should be Mr Thompson now. It will be easier to speak with him face to face …”
“Oh no,” the butler felt compelled to interrupt before Mary got too far with her thought. “I am sorry, I was not specific. It is not Mr Thompson at the door.”
“No? Then who is it?”
Mary felt panicked and sick; her heart raced. This could not be good; she did not want to deal with visitors. Somehow, she just knew that this would be to do with Lady Victoria Hartmon, and she was not sure that she was quite ready for it yet.
“It is His Grace, Duke Smith,” he replied. “He says that it is of utter urgency that he speaks with you right away.”
Mary’s head span; she felt unsteady on her feet. Daisy grabbed onto her arm in an attempt to keep her upright. Maybe it was silly to assume that he would never come, but Mary thought that he would be far too embarrassed to do so.
“The Duke,” she gasped. “I have to speak to him. I do not know if I can.”
Chapter 16
Mary moved down the stairs purposefully, trying to hide her anxiety as she went. With her corset tied up tighter than ever, it was already challenging to breathe, so the nerves only added to that. Still, it was there for a reason; it was there to hold her together and to make her look her absolute best. That was also the reason she had made Daisy quickly style her hair into a chignon, and she put a little bit of make-up on.
If Duke Edmund Smith preferred her natural, then she would be dressed up. Anything to
prove to him that he did not control her at all. She no longer worried what he wanted … not when he so clearly did not care about her in the same way.
As she laid her eyes upon him, her entire body turned upside down. The nausea that she had been trying to push down resurfaced, so much so that a sickness threatened to pour out of her mouth. Her heart went cold, yet somehow, her blood ran boiling hot. It was a confusing sensation that caused her to grip onto the rail in front of her just to keep herself standing upright. Edmund had her utterly lost, and she did not know what to do about it.
“Good afternoon,” she said coldly. “What are you doing here, Your Grace?”
There was still tension surrounding them, only this time there was nothing pleasant about it. It was so thick and unbearable, it could have been cut with a knife. Mary just wanted it gone; she wanted him gone. The last thing that she wanted to do while she was going through so much emotional turmoil was actually speak to the man who had caused it … but he had not given her any choice. He had shown up unannounced without giving her the necessary time that she needed to prepare herself.
“Please, Lady Roberts,” Edmund pleaded; he actually clapped his hands together in a prayer-like gesture to make Mary see just how serious he was. “Please let me speak with you. Let me explain.”
“You can say what you have to say right here, then leave,” she replied, refusing to get anywhere near him. “I do not know what you are doing here. I believe a letter would have been enough.”
Edmund glanced around, drinking in the appearance of all the staff members nearby. Maybe they were trying to act like they were not eavesdropping, but he could tell that they were. He did not even care what they thought about him, even though he knew it was not good. He only cared what Mary with her wide, sad eyes considered him to be.
“Please, Mary,” he continued desperately. “Please. Just give me a chance. I am only asking for five minutes of your time.”
There was something in his expression that got to Mary; she could not seem to help it. He seemed desperate and needy like he might do something crazy if she did not allow him to talk. She needed to remain strong and in control, but at the same time, maybe it was the adult thing to do. She could give him five minutes of her time, then she could cancel their engagement and move on with her life. Maybe this way was much better. Maybe a short talk was better than endless letters shared between them both.
