The telephone rang on Mr. Palinkas’ desk. He picked it up. Fex nodded good-bye and left.
Tonight was Barney’s party. Tonight was the big night.
19
This time Jerry watched Fex comb his hair in front of the mirror.
“What’s happening?” he said.
“Nothing.” Fex went on combing. He would’ve used the bathroom but Pete was monopolizing it, as usual.
“You never comb your hair at night,” Jerry said accusingly.
“I’m going to a party.”
Jerry sat up. “With girls. A boy-girl party. If you comb your hair, it must be a boy-girl party.”
“Yeah,” Fex drawled, acting as if he went to one of those every day.
“Do you kiss girls when you go to those parties?” Jerry asked.
“How do I know? The last time I went to a boy-girl party I was only a little kid. All we did was eat and throw stuff around the dining room,” Fex said, pulling on his sweater.
“Did you ever kiss a girl, Fex?” Jerry asked.
Under his sweater Fex felt himself blush.
“No,” he said, coming up for air. “Why?”
“I just wondered when you were supposed to start, that’s all.” Jerry rested his chin in his hands and stared down at Fex, his eyes bright, his face very curious. “I figure I’ve got lots of time but not you. Next year you’re in junior high. That’s when all that junk starts.”
“All what junk?” After-shave lotion or no after-shave lotion? Fex debated. He settled for slapping his cheeks vigorously, the way they did on TV commercials. That ought to do it.
“All that sexy junk. Junior high is when it starts,” Jerry said, very knowing.
“Who told you?”
“I just know. I listen a lot. Even if you don’t feel like it, you have to do that stuff in junior high. Kiss girls, take off your clothes, all that.”
Fex’s palms became clammy. “Listen,” he said, “I’m having a hard enough time already without you giving me advice. O.K.” He gave himself a final check in the mirror. “Ready or not, here I come.”
He pushed everything he’d left on the floor underneath his bunk. “Don’t wait up for me, son,” he said. “I’ll probably be late, very late.”
“Hey, Fex.” When he turned, Jerry was crouched on the edge of his bunk, hanging a moon down at him. His skinny little behind glowed pale in the light.
“You look like a honeydew melon,” Fex told him. “Two honeydew melons.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Jerry crowed.
“Get outa here.” Fex reached up and pulled Jerry down to the floor. They wrestled there for a couple of minutes, laughing so hard Pete came out of the bathroom to see what was going on.
“What’s the big joke?” he demanded.
Both boys lay on the floor looking up at their older brother. “Whoooeee!” they cried, holding their noses. “You smell!”
Pete snapped his wet towel at them, but his heart wasn’t in it. He looked down at Jerry. “What’s he doing flashing his bare butt around?” he asked crossly.
“Telling me the facts of life,” Fex said. He and Jerry rolled around a little while longer. Then Fex got up and pulled himself together. “I have to go,” he said. “The chicks are waiting.” Jerry jumped up, pulling on his pants. He did a little dance.
“You guys are a couple of nerds,” Pete said. “When I have the time, I might sit you down and give you the benefit of my experience. Let you have the straight scoop, about sex and …”
“And what?” Mr. O’Toole stood in the doorway.
“Oh, hi, Dad,” Pete said. “What’s up?”
“I was just going to ask you that. From the noise up here, I thought the ceiling might be coming down.”
“It was them,” Pete said. “They were horsing around. I didn’t do anything.”
Mr. O’Toole looked at Fex. “I thought you were going to Barney’s party,” he said. “I was going to ask you what time I’m supposed to pick you up.”
“Pick me up?” Fex tugged at his clothes, brushed himself off.
“You look as if you’d been in a fight,” his father said. “If you’re going to a party, better clean yourself up.” He turned and started down the stairs.
“Dad.” Fex went after him. “You don’t have to pick me up. I can walk home.”
“What time is it over?”
“Oh, about ten, I guess,” Fex said airily.
“I’ll settle for nine,” Mr. O’Toole said.
“Dad, I’m not a baby. I’m almost twelve.”
“Nine-thirty. You call me when it’s over and I’ll meet you on the corner so they won’t know your old man came for you. How’s that?” His father smiled at Fex.
“Thanks, Dad.” Fex went back to his room and combed his hair some more.
“I’m staying awake until you get home,” Jerry said. “Tell me all about it, O.K.?”
“If I live to tell the tale,” Fex said. “I just wonder if going to a party is worth all this trouble.”
“Probably not,” Jerry said, taking up his violin. Fex fled.
20
Barney lived up by the hospital in a pale brown apartment house at the top of the hill. Barney’s mother was a nurse. Every Monday morning Barney told tales of the goings-on in the emergency room over the weekend. He said the weekend was when things really started hopping. Especially if there was a full moon. You wouldn’t believe what went on there Saturday nights if there was a full moon, Barney said.
“Let me out on the corner, Dad,” Fex told his father. “I’ll walk the rest of the way.”
He didn’t want to be the last one at the party. It was almost seven. On the other hand, he also didn’t want to be the first. He didn’t know which was worse. After his father let him off, he dawdled, taking his time, walking slowly, keeping an eye on the entrance to the emergency room. He’d been there a couple of times himself. Once when he’d broken his collarbone, another time when they’d thought he might have appendicitis. It turned out to be only a bad stomachache.
It seemed to Fex as he rang Barney’s bell that he could hear party sounds coming from above. He waited for Barney to buzz so he could open the door. The hall smelled damp and musty and of various kinds of food. Barney leaned over the stairwell, watching him come. His face looked very wide and flat from this angle. He didn’t speak. Just suspended himself and watched without saying a word. Fex trudged up the stairs, head down, already sorry he’d come.
“You’re the first,” Barney hissed as Fex reached his floor. Fex’s heart sank.
“Hello!” a blond woman wearing a pale blue pants suit greeted him. “I’m Barney’s mom.” She smiled without showing her teeth.
“I’m Fex O’Toole,” Fex said. He put out his hand. She shook it.
“Oh, Barn’s told me all about you,” she said. She seemed glad to meet him. “I like to hear about Barn’s friends.”
“How are you, Mrs. Barnes?” Fex said. He looked past her into the living room. It was empty.
Barney jabbed him in the ribs. “Her name’s not Mrs. Barnes,” he said. A man came out of the bedroom. He, too, wore a pale blue pants suit.
“This is Dougie,” Barney said. “Meet Fex O’Toole, Dougie.” Dougie rattled when he walked, due to all the gold chains he wore around his neck. His hair was thin and so artfully arranged over his scalp that it looked like the tributaries of a river marked on a map. He also smiled without revealing his teeth. It was uncanny. They must practice smiling that way, Fex thought. He didn’t think it would be easy.
“Hey,” Dougie said, “how’s it going?” He and Barney’s mother went into the kitchen. There was a sound of scuffling. “Dougie!” Barney’s mother cried out. “Stop that! Not now!” Fex and Barney stood in the middle of the rug, looking at their feet. Probably the guy was blowing in her ear, Fex thought.
“That’s the boyfriend,” Barney whispered unnecessarily. Fex had already figured that out. “The one that gets the M
opeds wholesale.”
“Oh,” Fex said. “Yeah.” The silence stretched out, into the corners of the room. Fex prayed for the bell downstairs to ring, for lots of kids to arrive. A wailing ambulance pulled up beneath the window. Barney raced to look out. Fex followed.
“This way I keep tabs on everything,” Barney said. They looked out and saw nothing but the ambulance, its lights flashing.
The bell finally rang. Barney buzzed in the guests. Fex stood quietly, not sure of what to do, where to go. Barney’s mom and Dougie bustled back and forth, carrying bowls of potato chips, Fritos, pretzels.
“Pretty good feed, eh?” Dougie said, slapping Fex on the back. With a flourish he brought forth an ice bucket filled to the top with ice cubes.
“Nothing but the soft stuff for you kids, though,” he said, smiling his peculiar smile. “Be a couple of years before you try the hard stuff, right? You want to hold off on that for a long time. Not good to start too early, I say. Bad for the body. You want to take care of the body, the muscles. Take regular exercise. Now you take me. A hundred pushups at night, a hundred in the morning. Work out at the gym regular. Look at that.” In a flash he’d rolled up his pale blue sleeve to show Fex his muscles.
“All right,” Fex said as he watched Dougie’s muscles ripple. The room began to fill up. Fex didn’t see Audrey. He was afraid Dougie might not let him loose, might keep him there all night, showing off his muscles.
Maybe Audrey had decided not to come. He wouldn’t be too surprised at that. Someone put on a record. Kids started to dance, throwing their arms up in the air as if they were trying to get rid of them. Miraculously, Dougie disappeared. Fex went over to where the soda was laid out and helped himself to a Coke. He filled up a glass with ice and poured in the Coke slowly. Then he leaned against the door and watched the dancers. Fex wasn’t sure he liked parties. He liked the idea of them, but the actual party itself he wasn’t too sure about.
“Hey, Fex!” Barney hollered. “Come on and dance!” He gyrated by with a girl Fex had never seen before. She was tall, with long brown hair. Her jeans fit her as if they’d been pasted on. She was older than he, fourteen, maybe fifteen. But still in good shape. She was beautiful.
Fex stared at her as she danced by, tossing her hair like a girl in a shampoo commercial. Then he saw Audrey talking to a couple of kids from school. She didn’t look at him. I bet she knows I’m here, he thought. I just bet she does, and she won’t even say hello.
Someone shoved him hard in the middle of his back. “Long time no see,” a voice said. Fex turned and looked up, way up, at Wesley. Wesley was the kid who’d double-dared him to ride his bike up on the parkway last year. Wesley had gone to private school this year. Wesley was a troublemaker.
“How’d you get so tall?” Fex asked him. He was amazed at how much Wesley had grown. Wesley stuck out his foot. Against his will, Fex was impressed. Wesley wore the most terrific-looking pair of cowboy boots Fex had ever seen. They were smooth and glossy, with high slanted heels. The real McCoy. No wonder Wesley looked so tall.
“You fall down much?” Fex asked, jealous of Wesley’s heels.
Wesley got red in the face. “You still up to your ass in double-dares?” he said, snuffling juicily at his own wit.
“Wesley, the worm,” Fex said. He stood and watched the dancers, who looked like whirling dervishes, all elbows and arms and legs. He craned his neck, looking for Barney and his partner. No luck. Boy, if Pete ever caught a glimmer of Wesley’s boots, Fex thought, he’d flip. Flip right out. Ever since a girl had told Pete he reminded her of Robert Redford, he hadn’t stopped talking about buying a pair of cowboy boots. Fex finished his Coke and debated about having another. Dougie and Barney’s mom were nowhere in sight. Maybe they’d already gone to the movies.
Then he caught sight of Barney, all by himself.
“Who’s she?” Fex asked. “The girl you were dancing with. I never saw her before.”
“Ain’t she something?” Barney said. “Her mother and my mother are friends. She’s really built, huh?”
“What’s her name?”
“Tara.”
“Tara? I never heard of a name like that.”
“Isn’t it cool? Her mother named her after Scarlett O’Hara’s house. In Gone With the Wind. She was watching a rerun of Gone With the Wind when she went into labor. That’s why she called the kid Tara.”
Barney’s mother beckoned to him. Fex saw her whisper something in Barney’s ear. He saw Barney nodding. The music went on and on. Fex wanted to dance, but everyone he knew was already dancing. Audrey was nowhere in sight. There was hardly any room to move, the room was so crowded.
“My mom is slipping out with Dougie. They’re going to the tavern to see some friends,” Barney said. He smiled. “I guess now’s the time for some action, huh?” Fex watched as Barney’s mom and Dougie went out the door. He heard Barney’s mom tell him to be sure to lock up behind them. It didn’t pay to be careless, she said.
The minute they’d gone, Barney sauntered over to where Fex stood. “Whadya say? Think it’s time to turn off the lights?”
At that moment the music stopped. Tara and Wesley had been dancing together. They came to a halt directly in front of Fex. He noticed that Wesley was almost as tall as Tara. With his boots on, that is. Tara went to sit down on the couch. She lifted her hair off her neck to cool it. Someone brought her a glass of ginger ale.
“Give her a smooch or two, why don’tcha?” Barney spoke into Fex’s ear. “She’s been around. She knows the ropes, I bet.”
“Don’t be a jerk,” Fex said. A shiver ran down his spine. He remembered what Angie had said. About finding an older girl, someone who knew the ropes, to practice on. There she was.
“I double-dare you, Fexy,” Barney whispered. “Now’s your chance. I double-dare you to put the moves on that Tara chick.”
Fex felt his ears getting red. His feet sweated.
“Put another record on!” someone hollered.
“Put the lights out!” another voice cried.
Fex could feel Barney watching him. Why not? He’d probably never have another chance like this. He went over and sat down beside Tara. Barney moved toward the light switch.
“Hello,” he said. “My name is Fex. I never heard of Gone With the Wind, but I think Tara is a nice name.” It was the most incredibly dumb thing to say. Tara turned her cool blue eyes on him. She looked at him as if he were crazy. Maybe he was. She had on some sort of fuzzy sweater. Up close she seemed to him as beautiful as Jodie Foster. Or Brooke Shields. He smiled at her and the lights went out.
“I want my mother!” a voice across the room cried out, followed by a burst of laughter. Fex lunged, touched something soft. He grabbed whatever it was and held on.
Fex put his mouth where he thought her mouth should be. He felt the smooth skin of her face, her eyelashes batting at his cheeks like a moth held captive in a jar.
The lights went on.
“Hey, hey,” Wesley shouted, standing near the light switch. “Looka that!” All eyes were on Fex.
He was practically sitting in Tara’s lap. His head was resting on her sweater. In the middle. In the middle of where her breasts were. The girls he knew didn’t have breasts. But she did. His hand was on her jeans.
“What is this?” Tara’s voice was strident, reached to the four corners of the room. She stood up and dumped him on the floor. As if he’d been an overfriendly and unwelcome dog. A wave of laughter swelled and broke over Fex’s head. From where he lay he could see Wesley and Barney pounding one another on the back, laughing so hard saliva ran down their chins. He saw Audrey, her face pale, her dark eyes huge. She looked as if she were about to cry.
Music began. The group around him broke up. Someone started to dance. Fex got up. Like a sleepwalker, he made his way to the door.
He tried to let himself out of the apartment, but the lock on the door was so complicated he had to go looking for Barney. Luckily, he wasn’t far away.
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Fex went up to him and said, “Let me out. I’m going home and I can’t unlock the door.” Without a word, Barney did as Fex asked. The stairs seemed endless. Fex’s feet felt as if they were too big, too heavy for his body. Each step was an effort. He was almost on the ground floor when he heard running steps behind him. If it’s one of those guys, Fex thought, Wesley or Barney, I’ll kill ’em.
It was Audrey.
“You all right?” she asked.
Her concern infuriated him. “You’re always asking me that,” he snapped. “Sure I’m all right.”
“I can’t believe you keep this up,” she said. “When are you going to stop being the fall guy?” Her voice had gone from soft to hard. “He double-dared you, right? To kiss her? A girl you never even met before. How dumb can you get?”
He wanted to cry, wanted to hit her. And did neither. “Just let me alone,” he said.
“What are you trying to prove, Fex?” she said.
“Nothing. I’m not trying to prove anything. Just let me alone. It’s none of your business anyway.”
“You’re right. It isn’t any of my business. Except I thought we were friends. I also thought you were smart. But you act like such a jerk I must’ve been wrong.”
Because she had hurt him, he wanted to hurt her in return. “What makes you think somebody double-dared me?” He looked at her. “That Tara’s really something. I wanted to kiss her. That’s why I did. I just plain wanted to. So what’s wrong with that?”
He left her standing in the lobby and went out into the street. The fresh air felt good against his face. He decided to walk home. It was too early for his father to pick him up. As he went down the hill, the ambulance passed him, siren sounding, lights flashing. And there wasn’t even a full moon, Fex thought.
He ran most of the way home. It was farther than he’d thought. When he came in the front door, his father looked at his watch.
“I was just about to go for you,” he said. “You’re home early.”
“Yeah,” Fex said. “It wasn’t such a hot party. It was sort of a drag, as a matter of fact. So I decided to split early.”
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