Anger bubbled to the surface quickly. What she’d done had been wrong, but he had no business talking to her that way. Since the day he’d arrived he’d acted like nothing but a total jerk, making fun of her suggestions and patronizing her.
“I am nowhere near old enough to be Sebastian’s mother, and he’s an adult who’s capable of making his own decisions about who he dates. As for me, who I’m involved with is none of your damn business.” Sarah started to move past Lou, but he stepped into her path.
“You’re nothing but a two-bit whore,” he spat.
Her mouth fell open and even though a thousand rebuttals flitted through her brain she couldn’t get them out past her shock.
Lou continued. “Do yourself and everyone else a favor and quit. I don’t know who you blew to not get fired—”
Sarah clamped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.
“—but you’re a distraction the team doesn’t need.”
Jon came around the corner then, narrowing his eyes as he no doubt read her and Lou’s respective battle stances. “What’s going on?”
“I was just telling the little slut here how it would be better for everybody involved if she shook her tail somewhere else.”
Jon glanced at her briefly. “Keith and I don’t see it that way.”
“How can you not?” Lou exploded. “She’s fucking one of the players. Who knows what else she’s done while she’s been here?”
“That’s enough,” Jon barked and Lou, mercifully, fell silent. “Have you noticed we’ve lost the last four out of five games? Do you know what that five games corresponds to? Sarah’s suspension.”
Lou protested, but Jon cut him off. “Now, I’m not saying the only reason we win or lose is because of Sarah, but I am saying I’m ready to accept she’s making a difference. What she does on her own time is her business, as long as it doesn’t affect the team. If I ever hear of you verbally assaulting her or any other member of this organization again, I’ll kick your ass to the curb so hard you won’t be able to take a shit for weeks. You got that?”
Sarah was stunned. Jon had defended her. Apparently Lou was, too, as he just stalked away after shooting another venomous glare at her.
Finally she choked out, “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, and don’t make me a liar.” He speared her with a hard look, and it took everything Sarah had not to shiver.
She’d messed up colossally, but by some miracle had been given a second chance. It was crucial she made it count.
****
Sebastian had seen Sarah in passing, but couldn’t bring himself to talk to her. She’d finally gotten the message, because she stayed away from him.
But then, nearly three weeks after his attack, he cracked. His counselor told him staying away from Sarah would only exacerbate his feelings of isolation and grief, and if Sebastian was being truthful, he still loved Sarah. The counselor was right. The anger was still there, but if he wanted anyone to help him through this, it was her.
When she picked up the phone, she said, “Hi. I’m, um, I’m glad you called me. I’d ask how you are, but I’m pretty sure I know the answer and I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, I think you do know the answer.” He paused and she remained silent.
So far, so good. Apparently she was going to let him dictate what happened, which suited him just fine.
After a moment he spoke again. “Can I come talk to you?”
“Of course. Would you prefer if I came to you?”
“I want to get out of the house for a while. The walls are closing in. All I’ve been doing is practicing until the doc clears me to play again and I’m bored, which isn’t helping take my mind off…stuff.”
“Understandable. I’m leaving the arena. Have you eaten?”
“Rob pushed some food on me earlier.”
“I’ll pick up something and be home in less than a half hour.”
When she arrived at her house, Sebastian was already there, sitting on her porch steps and staring into space. He couldn’t get his sluggish brain to piece his thoughts together into any cohesive form and was growing increasingly frustrated, his foot tapping the step in a staccato rhythm.
Struggling out of the car with the bags of food, she called, “Why didn’t you go into the house?”
He rose and approached her, taking some of the food. “I wanted some fresh air. Plus, it was a little weird going inside without you.”
A flash of sadness showed on her face, but she quickly shuttered her expression and led him inside. “Well, come on in. Let’s eat while it’s hot.”
She sat him down at the table and busied herself getting out drinks and place settings. She’d gotten some of his favorites, and he was grateful for that. They ate in silence, and he was pleased he actually wanted to eat. He’d lost weight, which meant he was probably losing muscle mass. When he was done he pushed his plate away. Sarah rose, taking the plates to scrape off and put in the dishwasher.
He cleared his throat. “I need help.”
She faced him. “You know I’ll help you any way I can.”
“I talked to the counselor about everything, and he agreed I had the right to be angry, but he also said it might help to stop shutting you out. Then Rob told me how you flew into the police station like an avenging angel, and how you didn’t even blink when it became obvious you wouldn’t be able to hide our relationship.”
She braced her hands on the counter behind her and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I called Rob as soon as I saw you on the news, but he couldn’t talk because he was just pulling into the police station. Of course, at that point, none of us knew what was going on. He said he’d call back but I couldn’t wait. My heart stopped.” She continued in a thin, weak tone that was so low he had to strain to hear her. “I had to know you were okay.”
“I understand. I know you care about me, Sarah. That was never the issue.” Because he didn’t want to rehash all their problems right now, he changed tacks. “Did you hear what those girls told the police? They wanted to drug me and then have unprotected sex so they’d get pregnant and make me pay them off. They figured if all four did me, at least one would get pregnant. They were going to put any babies up for adoption or abort it and split the money.”
“Oh my God, Sebastian! That’s terrible!” She knelt beside his chair and slowly raised her hand toward his face, giving him plenty of time to pull away.
He didn’t, instead locking eyes with her, and she cupped his jaw. Seeing the raw pain in her gaze should’ve given him some satisfaction, but it didn’t. There was no winner in this fucked-up situation.
“I’m just glad they were found out.”
“Yeah.” He smiled sadly. “Apparently they didn’t do their research. That drug has a similar effect on men and women. I was passed out, not exactly, you know, ready. I guess that’s one of the things that held them up and eventually got them caught. They had their hands on me, trying to make me…um…” His face heated.
Sarah stroked his cheek. “Shh, it’s over.”
“I feel so stupid and weak.” He hated himself for being vulnerable.
“You’re not. You’re human.”
He grabbed her hands. What he was about to ask of Sarah was crazy considering recent events, but he had to. “Will you cuddle with me? I need you. I want to feel close to somebody without wanting to crawl out of my own skin, and you’re the only person I think I can handle.”
Her expression softened further and she nodded. “How about on the couch?”
“Yeah, that’ll work.” He rose and shuffled into the other room. Picking up the remote, he idly flipped through channels, finding nothing, of course. After grabbing a couple of extra blankets, Sarah settled down and he crawled into the space between her and the back of the couch. His arm crept around her waist and he folded his much larger body around hers.
The next thing he knew, he heard a voice amidst the fog.
“Sebastian, you’re dreaming. Wak
e up.”
He curled into himself, his mind confused and going around in circles, but the voice kept talking.
“Sebastian. Wake up.”
His eyes flew open. “What the hell are you doing?” Sarah was leaning over him, shaking him.
“You were dreaming.”
He swore and sat up. So much for that idea. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a frustrated groan.
“Have you been having nightmares?”
“Yeah. Rob’s had to come in a couple of times. I almost took a swing at him once.” Sebastian ran his hands through his hair as he studied her. “Merde, I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Sarah bit her lip as if considering how to answer his question, and he frowned. “You pushed me off the couch.”
“Oh, God, Sarah.” His voice cracked as his gaze roved over her. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
“No. I was just startled.”
Sebastian shot to his feet, tripping over the blankets before finally untangling them with a growl. “I need to get out of here.”
“What? Why?”
“I put so much faith into this helping. The counselor told me it might, but it’s not. I need to go home.” I need to get the hell out of here before I do something awful.
“It’s okay, you can stay—”
Sebastian barked out a bitter laugh. “What, and coldcock you the next time one of those bitches shows up in my dream?”
“You won’t hurt me.”
Rounding on her, he exploded. “How do you know that? I don’t even know that. I don’t know anything anymore. Those women stole so freaking much and I’m way beyond pissed. I don’t even know what to do about it, but I can’t stay here.”
“Please, Sebastian, don’t leave. It’s late.” Sarah’s brow was furrowed and she was frowning, but he couldn’t let her influence him.
“I have to.”
“At least let me drive you.”
“Fine, whatever, let’s just go.”
Soon they were in her car. He stared out the passenger window, brooding. His therapist had told him not to dwell, but he’d just assaulted someone. How could you not dwell on that?
When they arrived at his house, he put his hand on the doorknob but didn’t open it. “I’m messed up right now. You shouldn’t be caught up in this crap.”
“Sebastian, I will never abandon you. Never. If all this taught me one thing, it’s that I need you in my life, however I can get you.”
He scoffed. “Need me like this? I doubt it.”
Sarah rubbed her forehead.
She must be exhausted. A pang of guilt settled in his already-overworked heart.
“Get some sleep, or at least try to. I’m here anytime you want to talk, day or night.” She tentatively laid a hand on his shoulder, and despite his efforts not to, he flinched. “Are you hearing me?”
“Yeah, I got it.” He stepped out of the car and trudged up to the front door, his shoulders slumped and his head down. When would this end?
****
After the night Sebastian pushed her off her couch, Sarah gave him a wide berth, and over the course of the next several weeks, focused on providing the team with information and analysis to help them win. If she could prove her worth, maybe they’d consider keeping her on after the season ended. If they didn’t, she had nowhere else to go. Spending all that time working also helped keep her mind off Sebastian’s troubles.
He was polite, but cool when they encountered each other at the arena, and she understood why, but that didn’t make it any easier. She and Rob had taken to exchanging text messages a couple of times a day. Rob had been like a rock for Sebastian these past weeks, and the weight on Sarah’s shoulders was eased a little knowing Sebastian wasn’t alone.
One night as she watched a game from the press box, she noticed one of the Boston players switching sticks, from one to another and then back again. Players oftentimes used more than one stick during a game because the composite sticks were susceptible to breaking, but this guy was switching back and forth between the same two sticks, which wasn’t usual.
It appeared he was using one stick in the defensive zone and another in the offensive zone. She couldn’t tell from her vantage point high above the ice what was different about the sticks however. In addition, he was coming off the ice after the offensive zone face-offs in favor of the team’s star scoring center, who was taking very few face-offs.
Using her microphone connection to the bench, she told Eric what she’d been seeing and asked him to have a peek at the player’s sticks.
After a while, the coach reported back there was a much bigger curve on the stick the player used in the offensive zone than the one for the defensive zone. They decided to check out video in between periods to try to figure out why the player was switching sticks, as well as why the other center wasn’t taking face-offs.
The period ended, and as she and Doug got to the coaches’ office, an idea took shape, and she nodded. “I think he’s using Karalov’s stick for the offensive zone face-offs.”
“Why would he do that?” Doug asked.
“I don’t know, but that stick was from a different manufacturer than his usual stick. I bet if we looked closer it would have Karalov’s name and number on it.”
Eric strolled in. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Sarah thinks Larson is using Karalov’s stick for those face-offs in the O-zone.”
“Interesting. What would make him change sticks all the time?”
“That’s what we were debating,” Sarah answered. “It didn’t seem right to me that a checking center like Larson would use a stick with such a wicked curve. Then I noticed it’s a different manufacturer than his regular stick. That’s when I started thinking maybe it was Karalov’s stick, since everybody knows how much Karalov likes those banana boats. Can you try to get a better look at the beginning of the second to see if the curved stick has Karalov’s information on it?”
“Will do, but maybe we can see whether or not it does in the video.”
“True. We should try that first. That way, we could talk to Jon before the end of intermission,” Sarah said.
The three of them watched the video, and sure enough, the stick belonged to Karalov. Now they just had to figure out why Larson was using Karalov’s stick, and why Karalov himself wasn’t taking face-offs.
They went to see Jon with the information, and together with the other coaches, plus Ben and the assistant captains, they decided to continue to watch both players during the upcoming period, since they had no consensus for why Larson would be using another player’s stick. If they saw something, they still had the entire third period to take action.
Just before the team hit the ice at the end of intermission Jon pulled Sarah aside. “Thanks for noticing the situation. None of us saw it.”
She sent up a quick prayer it was the start of him trusting her again. If management decided to let her go after the season, she didn’t know what she’d do. Sarah loved being a part of this hockey team.
In the second period, Karalov didn’t use his left hand very often. They surmised he had injured his hand or his wrist at some point earlier in the game, but while that would explain why the man wasn’t taking face-offs, it didn’t explain why Larson was using Karalov’s stick. Sarah bet the stick’s curvature was illegal, which would give Larson an advantage in those offensive zone face-offs. He’d be able to more easily redirect the puck in the desired direction. She called down to Eric and, after the Storm fell down by two near the end of the second period, Jon called for a stick measure.
The officials took the stick, which was Karalov’s stick but currently in Larson’s hands, measured it, found it had an illegal curve, and confiscated it. Larson got a two-minute penalty for using another player’s stick, and the bench was assessed a minor penalty for the illegal stick.
The Storm scored twice on the ensuing five and three and the power play that followed their first goal. The Storm won the game 4
-3. In the locker room after the game, Jon acknowledged it was Sarah who figured out the two-stick puzzle, and the team gave her a cheer, which finally took away some of the tension about her job.
Now if she could only find a way to earn back Sebastian’s trust. She glanced at him, but his gaze was locked on the floor in front of him. Her heart ached for him, and she went to her office surrounded by the familiarity of abject sadness.
****
With a little over two weeks left in the regular season, the Storm faced a rough stretch where they played a game nearly every other night. Sebastian welcomed the busy schedule. It was easier not to deal with the mess that was his personal life. At least only a few were road games, and those were short trips to division rivals Toronto and Boston.
The team clinched the playoffs during that stretch, but the players made a pact to go on a run and try to capture the first overall spot. That was one of the only things that excited Sebastian—the team had clinched a spot so early yet they weren’t taking their foot off the gas. A team who came into the playoffs on a high rather than sitting back and taking it easy did better.
Going into the playoffs on a winning streak and capturing the first spot in their conference would not only mean they’d have home ice advantage for the entire duration of the playoffs, but their confidence would be sky-high. The team played well on the road, but coming into the Storm’s building was getting more and more difficult for opposing teams, which was exactly what Jon wanted.
Sebastian was proud to be a part of the success of the team that had lost just eight games out of thirty-five played at home so far. No team wanted to face Buffalo on home ice.
The team dedicated themselves to the pact with a level of determination Sebastian had never seen but wanted to hold onto forever. They lived and died for each other on the ice, working like dogs to stay ahead of their opponents. Many of them were playing hurt, including him. He was nursing a lower back injury that with any luck would calm down in time for the grind of the playoffs.
As the playoffs grew closer, he saw less and less of Sarah even though they worked increasingly long hours. They’d begun to get together for dinners and coffee to talk, at Sebastian’s request, but they always met in public. He hadn’t asked to come to her house since that night he’d had the nightmare there.
ShouldveKnownBetter Page 20
