by Gina Drayer
“I know you, Mom,” Riley continued. “You’ve always used me as your excuse not to live your own life. ‘I can’t date because of Riley.’ ‘I can’t go on vacation because of Riley.’ ‘I can’t do’ whatever it is you want to do. Because of me. Do you know how that makes me feel?” Her voice wobbled, and Kira saw tears glistening in her daughter's eyes. Biting her lip, Riley added, “I’m not a child anymore. Stop using me because you’re too scared to just live your life.”
Kira licked her lips. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“Yeah, I do. I know you think I don’t notice these things because I’m a teenager, but I do. Jason was good for you. You were happy—really happy. And when you’re old and deaf, will you look back and think, ‘I’m so glad I broke up with him because we weren’t compatible?’” Riley stared at her, her eyebrows raised. “Yeah, I doubt it.”
It was surreal, having a fifteen-year-old lay into her like this, exposing deep, hidden truths with the precision of a scalpel to the skin. Riley’s words cut like a bone saw. Was she pushing Jason away because they were truly incompatible? Or was it because he’d gotten too close and she’d rather keep herself closed off?
“It’s complicated,” she said.
“Well, I hope you’re happy now,” Riley said. “Do what you want, just stop using me as an excuse.”
She didn’t know what to say. So she only said the two words that seemed appropriate: “I’m sorry.”
Riley shrugged. “Don’t apologize to me. Tell Jason. Get him back, Mom. You deserve to have a life, too, just like everyone else.”
Chapter 20
Quieting Gossip
So word is out. Now what? If you want to avoid whispers in the hallway, be upfront with your colleagues. Be open about your relationship and gain support from your work friends instead of hiding it from them.
* * *
Monday was hell. Jason knew the first day Kira was gone would be the hardest for him. But it just wasn’t him. The office felt different—like it had lost something vital. Its spark. The heartbeat that kept things flowing. There was no coffee brewing in the break room. No donuts. There were no packets for the Monday meeting, only a sad white slip of paper with the agenda. Even the overhead lights seemed a bit dimmer.
All because Kira wasn’t there. Jason wasn’t the only one who felt the loss. It was like the whole staff was in mourning. He had the urge to light candles in her old office and cover the mirror.
But he had a plan, and it was time to get the ball rolling.
“Thanks for talking with me today,” Jason said as Matt, Simon, and Peter all joined him on the conference call.
“You know how I love conference calls,” Simon said dryly, which made the other three laugh. He had an aversion to phone calls in general, and he especially hated conference calls, which he deemed a complete waste of time.
“Simon, if you don’t want to be here …” Peter said, chuckling.
“What, and leave you guys to make a decision without me?” Simon said with mock horror. “I’m the brains of the operation.”
“Okay, Jason, tell us everything. Meg has been dying to hear the story,” Peter said. “Evidently, being cooped up on bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy isn’t that exciting. She misses all the gossip.”
Jason rolled his eyes, glad that they couldn’t see him right now. He’d scheduled this call to discuss Kira and how to get her back with the company. But in truth, that mattered a hell of a lot less than getting his girlfriend back. He knew that they couldn’t just offer her more money to stay, as Simon had suggested. He needed to prove to her that she was important—not just to the company, but also to him.
It’d been three days since he’d last seen Kira. Her last day at Millennial had been a somber occasion. The staff rallied around her all day, showering her with gifts and well wishes. There wasn’t an opportunity to talk to her, to beg her to stay one more time. And now she was gone. He’d respected her wishes that they not talk about their relationship at work, but she wouldn’t accept his calls either. She’d cut him out of her life like a cancer. He knew she had another job and had started today, but beyond that, he hadn’t heard a peep from her.
Riley, on the other hand, had been texting him continually, telling him that Kira was depressed. She also was happy to inform him that they were both idiots. Jason couldn’t help but be amused that the teenager was his and Kira’s biggest cheerleader.
“I know all of you have already tried to talk to Kira into staying with no success,” he began, trying not to sound too doleful when saying her name out loud. “But I have a plan.”
“I’m not sure what you can do that we haven’t already tried,” Simon said. “When I talked to her, she said that she felt that she’d outgrown her position and that Pink Moon was going to offer her more money and a job title matching her capabilities. I can understand that, but when I offered, she wasn’t interested in a raise.”
“Did she ever talk to you about being unhappy before she put in her two weeks?” Peter asked.
“No.” Jason tapped his pen against his desk. “And if she’d asked for a raise I would have given it to her. She deserved it.”
“To be frank, her decision to leave came out of left field,” Simon said. “It’s not like her. Are you sure nothing happened? She didn’t say anything to you?”
No,” Jason said. He didn’t mention that they’d fought in his office before she’d suddenly decided to quit. Matt was the only one who knew about the affair, and they agreed it would be best not to bring it up. He had no intention of airing their dirty laundry and embarrassing her in the process. “But to be honest, you guys didn’t appreciate her enough. Did you know that she was expecting the partner position? But you gave it to me instead.”
“If she wanted the job, why didn’t she say anything?” Peter asked.
Matt hmmed. “So what you’re saying is that she was dissatisfied for months and wanted out, which isn’t good, if we want to get her back.” Matt already knew what his plan was, but Jason appreciated his brother’s playing dumb.
“Of course we want her back.” Peter this time. “She’s been a big part of that office. She kept the doors open when Charlie Filer walked out with half the art department. She helped hire most of the new staff. The New York office is more her office than ours. I’m just pissed that she left and we couldn’t stop her. So, Jason, do you have a plan beyond begging her on your knees?”
“Trust me, I’d beg on my knees if I thought it would help.” Jason stilled his tapping, considering. “Are you listening to yourselves? You guys really didn’t appreciate what she did here. So I wanted to take a minute to explain exactly what her leaving means to this company—for me.”
“We know how great Kira is,” Simon said, impatiently. “That’s why we want her back.”
“You think you know, but I don’t think you really understand how much she worked her ass off. She kept most of the projects running on schedule and under budget, especially for the PowerSport deal. She helped me learn the ropes while always providing reasoned and thoughtful input, and I never had to ask her to do a task. She did it, and she did it well. Every time. I never had to worry that something wouldn’t be done as long as Kira was here..”
And she captured my heart in the process, he thought to himself. Absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder—more like morose, irritated, and hollow. There was a hole in his soul that only she could fill. He longed to hear her voice, feel her touch, and see her smile. He missed her on a level that was scary. Even after his divorce, he hadn’t really missed Bridget. He’d missed the idea of what he’d thought his marriage had been, but Bridget as a person had never crawled into the recesses of his heart like Kira had.
I love her, he thought to himself for the thousandth time. I love her, and I have to get her back.
“To be honest,” Jason continued, “I think we—and I mean all of us—didn’t appreciate her enough. I’m sure she was frustrated when you hired me
for this position, and she was looked over. Don’t you think that’s enough of a reason for her to look elsewhere?”
Silence filled the line, until Matt spoke. “Okay, we get it. We didn’t appreciate her, but what are we going to do about it now?”
“Well, I know you’ve all worked with her for longer, but I think I know Kira and what it will take to get her back. I’ll need your complete support, and before we can go forward, I need to get her back to the office.”
They discussed how best to go about doing this. Simon, Peter, and Matt all tossed around various ideas, which Jason either vetoed or agreed to, as he was the person who knew Kira best. By the end of the call, Jason had a decent game plan going forward, and for the first time in weeks, his heart felt somewhat lighter.
When the call ended, Matt stayed on the line. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “There has to be another way. Have you tried talking to her? You’d be surprised how many problems can be fixed with just a simple conversation.”
“At this point, she needs more than words.”
“Good luck. Go get her back—for all of us,” Matt said.
“Thanks, I think I need all the luck I can get. I’ll keep you updated on how everything goes.”
Jason leaned back in his chair, considering. Would this even work? What if Kira refused to talk to him ever again? It was a possibility, but sitting around, doing nothing, was a worse idea. Not only did Millennial need her back, he needed her back. He needed to tell her he loved her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to apologize for being stupid. He wanted to be with her, plain and simple.
His cell phone rang, and he couldn’t help but smile at the text on the screen.
Riley: When are you going to get back together with my mom? With a frustrated emoji next to her message.
He probably shouldn’t be texting with Kira’s daughter, but he reasoned that Riley was just concerned about her mother. He also wasn’t above using her to get back into Kira’s good graces.
Jason: Working on it, squirt. These things take time.
Riley: If you take any longer, she’s going to find some new guy on Tinder and forget all about you!
Jason stilled and reread the text.
Jason: She’s on Tinder? How do you know?
Riley: JK, IDK if she’s on Tinder. She probably doesn’t even know what that is.
Jason: And how do you know what it is?
Riley: Dude, I’m not a baby. I’m 15. Of course I know what Tinder is. I know what lots of things are. I bet I know lots of things that even you don’t know about.
That wouldn’t surprise him in the slightest. Shaking his head, he shot back another text.
Jason: Stay off Tinder.
Riley: No worries. boys are stupid and you have to be 18 for an account.
Jason: I’m not stupid.
Riley: You are for not getting off your butt and getting my mom back… BTW don’t tell her I know about Tinder.
Jason: I’m working on it. And don’t worry, I won’t
Riley: I have a band concert at the end of November. You should come. I have a solo.
He hesitated. He didn’t want to give the girl false hope, but at the same time, if everything went well, he would definitely go …
Jason: I’ll try to come. I can’t make any guarantees, though. I’m sure you’ll be amazing.
On the train going home, he couldn’t stop worrying that his plan wouldn’t work. Kira was so stubborn once she’d made up her mind. While she was justified, he knew a lot of her anger came from fear. She was scared to let him into her life—scared he’d let her down like others had in the past. And that was the scary thing. If that fear continued to rule her, she might not come around.
The thought caused his chest to ache. He’d fallen hard for a woman who more than likely loved him back, but was too terrified to do anything about it. It was morbidly funny, really. Funny in that he finally found the family he’d wanted since he’d married Bridget, but despite his best intentions, it might all slip from his fingertips.
For some reason, he thought about his grandfather’s house on the lake. As kids, he and his siblings had played without a care in the world, secure in the knowledge that their parents loved them and each other. His mom and dad had always been openly affectionate, never caring that their kids made disgusted faces when they’d kissed or hugged. He’d never really been disgusted. He’d loved that his parents had had a happy marriage, and it had been the one thing he’d wanted more than anything else when he grew up. He’d tried finding that with Bridget. He’d bought into the fairytale, but it hadn’t been real. Bridget hadn’t been interested in the white-picket-fence dream, and he’d been too young to see it.
Now, though? Now he could see himself having it all with Kira and Riley. He’d come to love Riley like his own daughter, as much as he loved her mother. What would it be like, to be a family together? To maybe have their own children, too? His heart squeezed, imagining Kira pregnant with their child. She was already such a good mother to Riley that he was sure she’d be just as amazing with their children.
When he arrived home, he shook off those thoughts. One step at a time. He needed to get Kira back and show her fears were baseless before he moved on to marriage and babies, no matter how much he wanted them. He needed to prove to her that their love was worth taking a chance on, and he needed to prove he was the type of man who’d always have her back. He could make her happy. If it took a lifetime, he’d show her how much he loved her.
His phone sounded again. He smiled at the text.
Riley: I just caught my mom staring at her phone, and she was definitely looking at your old texts. Just FYI.
He sent Riley a winky face emoji, telling himself that soon, Kira wouldn’t have to read old texts to be reminded of him. Instead, he’d be there for her, no matter what happened.
Chapter 21
Other Office Relationships
Once the news is out, everything will change. Co-workers will start treating you differently. Don’t be surprised if your work BFF starts excluding you from conversations or girls’ night out because of who you date. You should also respect your significant other’s privacy. Remember, he works in the office too.
* * *
Kira sat down at her new desk at Pink Moon Marketing with a sick feeling settling low in her stomach. It had been a few days, and she still wasn’t warming to the place. She had this sinking feeling that she never would.
The entire office was drab, from the décor—beige and more beige—to the artwork and the sad, dying potted ferns. The overall atmosphere had a certain quiet desperation. The warm, welcoming feeling she’d always gotten when stepping off the elevators into Millennial’s main office was missing.
Part of that was probably her mood. Kira missed her friends more than she’d expected. Talking to them, being part of their lives and having them as part of hers.
There was none of that same camaraderie at Pink Moon. From the moment she started in the morning until she left, hardly anyone spoke to her, except to discuss business. She didn’t even receive so much as a “good morning” from reception.
Kira was the new kid, sure, but it was more than that. No one talked. The sounds of typing filled the office space, with a few people having phone conversations, but other than that, nothing.
Even if the most of the office was cold and impersonal, Kira was sure her team would find that missing ingredient. She’d make sure of that. The only problem was, Kira was still unclear about who, exactly, reported to her. Diane hadn’t been clear, insisting that they’d get to the details when Kira had settled in.
Now that she’d been there three days, she was nearing the end of her rope and decided to take matters into her own hands. She stood up looked over the low cubicle wall to say hi to her neighbor.
“I’m Kira,” she said by way of greeting. “I just started this week.”
The woman looked up, frowning. “Hi,” she finally responded, like she didn’t know wha
t Kira expected of her.
When the woman turned back to her monitor without so much as offering her name, she sat back down, defeated. Any excitement she’d managed to muster about the new job was gone.
When Diane had pitched her the position, she had made it sound like Pink Moon was up and coming and bursting with energy, but this office felt like it was dying. She wouldn’t be surprised to find half the staff browsing job sites. The lights seemed overly bright now, and the steady clicking of keys made Kira want to turn on music. Something, anything, other than listening to people type, type, and type some more.
Maybe she just gotten so used to Millennial’s boundless energy, anything would pale in comparison.
It’s only your first week, she told herself. She couldn’t very well judge what her new job would be until she actually started working on an actual project.
Speaking of which, the lack of work was starting to bother her. She’d filled out all the necessary paperwork with the hiring manager the first morning. After that, she’d been left waiting for Diane to give her some direction. By the second day, Kira took it upon herself to schedule a meeting with her new boss. Unfortunately, Diane been out of the office all day, so Kira spent the day stocking her cubicle and setting up her computer.
This morning Kira finally got that meeting with Diane. She hoped Diane would give her a better impression of the place. But instead of reassuring her, the meeting only made her more depressed. Diane’s office was a mess of papers, boxes, and overflowing filing cabinets. Her desk wasn’t much better. The surface was completely covered with stacks of papers and unopened mail. Diane hurried through her spiel about the vision for the company, and shoved a messily handwritten list of things at Kira for her to get started on. Then she picked up the phone, effectively dismissing her.
