Her words made Keena think about Ryan. Was that his reason for working at the ranch, to hide out from the world? Maybe he too had been hurt. She shook her head at that thought. Not everyone experienced what she did, and besides, she was just getting away for a short while. Ryan worked at the ranch. He’d admitted that he worked with horses all his life. This wasn’t hiding for him.
“What about Ryan?” she blurted and then regretted it. “Never mind. Now it’s my turn to apologize. Forget I asked.”
Mirabelle’s expression turned serious for a second and then seemed to clear with effort. She swatted Keena with her dish towel. “Now don’t you go developing a crush on one of the farm hands, sweetie. These men are cowboys through and through. They’ll break your heart without meaning to. We don’t get many single women out this way, but sometimes they come through. And you can be sure that one will go home in tears because she thought a little adult fun meant more.”
Keena’s mouth fell open at Mirabelle’s candor. She struggled to find words to respond, to deny she had attraction for Ryan without sounding like she did.
Mirabelle rushed on, taking Keena’s silence the wrong way. “I don’t want you to think the men at our ranch make a habit of seducing women. The boss would skin them. Trust me. But a man is a man, and there are women who will do whatever it takes to capture their attention, if you know what I mean.”
Keena was about to answer that she was in no way chasing any man, when their conversation was interrupted as if to prove Mirabelle’s point. The skank Keena had seen roped to Ryan that first day barreled into the kitchen. She ignored Keena and looked at Mirabelle.
“Have you seen Ryan? I wanted his help with something.”
Miss Thing was practically naked, with thin white strips making up her bathing suit and a towel tossed over her arm. Keena blinked in disbelief. She could not be serious dressed like that.
Mirabelle must have been just as stricken by the other woman’s appearance. She stood there staring at her rather than answering for a long while. Finally, when Miss Thing shifted in impatience from one foot to the other, enough to sicken Keena with her bouncing boobs, Mirabelle answered. “Adult weeks are scheduled at certain times during the summer. This isn’t one of them, Jade. Think of the kids before you put on a bathing suit that revealing.”
Jade. So that was her name, Keena thought. She waited to see what the woman had to say about Mirabelle’s comments.
Jade slapped a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. “Even kids have to learn how to dress when they grow up.”
Keena gasped. The bitch was bold.
“So have you seen Ryan or what?” Jade demanded.
“No,” Mirabelle said.
Jade sucked her teeth and swung around to head back out the door. Mirabelle slapped a hand over her mouth, her face turning beet red all over again, at Jade’s bare butt as she pranced out the door. Keena thought Mirabelle might pass out from embarrassment, and she tried to think of something to take the older woman’s mind off the skimpy fashions of loose women these days, but when she pulled herself together enough to speak, Mirabelle quipped, “I wonder how she walks with all that floss crammed between her cheeks.”
Keena’s laughter burst out, and it took her a good five minutes to stop. When she wiped tears from her eyes, she found Mirabelle handing her a cup of her special brew with a serious face and a tissue. Keena took the offerings amazed at how this woman could be on top of everything around the ranch, seem disconnected when she was in her kitchen, yet still know enough about the outside world to know that many people called a thong “floss” these days. She suspected Mirabelle would keep her on her toes the entire time she was here.
With the hot drink held between her palms, Keena slid her feet from her flip-flops and curled her legs beneath her on the chair. She took a small sip of the chocolaty liquid and closed her eyes in pleasure. “I think I need to steal you, Mirabelle, and take you back to New York with me.”
“Oh no, sweetie. None of that big-city stuff for me. I stay out here, and sometimes ride down to Vail with one of the boys, but no, I’m happy where I am. I guess I’m a cowgirl through and through myself. Although I did visit Denver a few years ago.” She shrugged.
Keena waited for her to make more of a comment on what Denver was like, but she said nothing, and Keena let it go. She stared down into her cup, swirling the contents with her spoon. Was she a city girl through and through, then, and that’s why she couldn’t get used to the quiet at night? Could she not change or grow in what she liked and disliked? For some reason her recent experiences had her thinking about her choices in life—those that didn’t have to do with men.
“About Ryan,” Mirabelle began.
Keena glanced up, surprised, thinking they had left that subject long ago. Mirabelle settled herself into the chair opposite Keena with her own cup of something hot. Keena waited in silence, despite everything she resolved, hoping to learn more about the mysterious man and wondering if Mirabelle knew about his special ability with animals.
“I’m only sharing this with you because I like you, Keena. I can tell just looking at you that you’re a sweet person. There’s a certain amount of innocence about you even at your age.”
Keena frowned. Damn, she wasn’t that old yet to be described with “at your age.”
Mirabelle went on. “Guard your heart, sweetie. Ryan will never fall for you. He’ll never fall for any woman.”
“But how did you . . . I mean . . .”
“Shoot, this ranch is family, I tell you. Child, you know how family likes to gab. More than any friends ever could.” She wagged a finger in Keena’s direction. “There are those who’ve seen the interest Ryan has shown you, mostly because he doesn’t. He never chases after the women, single or otherwise. For him to focus on you like he seems to have made everyone take notice. But”—she shook her head—“he’ll never love. Never again. His wife took care of that a long time ago.”
Keena’s eyes widened. “His wife! I didn’t know he was married.” She pinched her lips together and took her cup in a grip that was liable to break off the handle. Another lying, cheating son of a jackass.
“Not anymore. She left him after two years of marriage and divorced him.” Mirabelle stared Keena in the eyes, her expression serious, as if to get her meaning through. “I’m not telling you anything everyone else who has worked on this farm doesn’t know as far as Ryan being divorced. But the details of what happened are his business. Suffice it to say, that woman crushed him leaving him when he needed her most.”
Mirabelle’s eyes glazed over, which made Keena think that she did know the details of why the marriage went sour, but she was right. No one needed to know the details. Keena imagined that was why Ryan was so distant, so cold most of the time. However, on the occasions she had spent time alone with him, he’d seemed to warm up a little. She wouldn’t put too much stock in that. Like Mirabelle said, just because two adults were attracted to one another, it didn’t make it love. She was no more eager for that kind of connection than he was. Maybe that’s why he had unbent enough to seek her out. Involvement between the two of them would be no strings attached.
A tingle rolled over Keena’s skin. An affair? He hadn’t offered anything, but there was definitely interest there in something physical. She’d never been involved in something like that, preferring things to progress at a slower pace, to see if the relationship between her and the man she dated would evolve enough to meet her ultimate goal—marriage. Now, all that had changed.
Did she dare? She still had physical needs, and this might be a way to adjust to a life of the occasional casual sexual relationship once she got back home to New York. Knowing that she wouldn’t lose her heart to Ryan and that he wouldn’t lose his to her, that she would be leaving in a couple weeks, it might be worth exploring.
After scooping up the last of her pie on her fork and draining the last of her drink, she stood up to take her dishes to the sink. Mirabelle brushed her asi
de when she would have washed them. “I’ll get those. You go on and get some rest.”
On impulse, Keena gave Mirabelle a quick hug, thinking the woman reminded her of Aunt Delores, without the benefit of knowing Keena’s shame. “Thanks for everything, Mirabelle. And don’t worry. I have no intention of losing my heart to Ryan, or anyone else, right now.”
The older woman nodded, offering a sad smile. “Yeah, I can see the sadness in your eyes. Some foolish man let you get away. I say his loss.”
Startled at first, Keena agreed. “You’re right. His loss. Night.”
“Night, Keena.”
Chapter Six
Keena let herself out through the kitchen door and shut it behind her. Her flip-flops slapped against the wood porch outside the main lodge, and she descended the stairs to the gravel walkway. At some point while she was chatting with Mirabelle, clouds had rolled in to cover the moon. Now, she found picking her way over the gravel in these shoes not the best course.
She paused in fear when an owl hooted overhead and a shadow swooped nearby. Tamping down panic, she groused. “I know I’m short, but I’m not small enough to be mistaken for a mouse, you idiot. Get out of here!”
The owl called out a second time, and her overactive imagination made her think the creature was laughing at her. She tried to pick up her pace to make it back to her cabin, but when she turned her ankle instead, she slowed down. A muffled laugh to her right caught her attention, and she paused to see who it was, hoping the person hadn’t heard her arguing in fear with the owl.
Several cabins and one four-unit lodge lay between her cabin and the main lodge housing the dining area. Nestled at the side of this lodge was a hot tub. When Keena remembered that fact from her previous study of the map, she rolled her eyes. Of course there would be those couples sneaking about at night for a little midnight play, maybe even a dip in the pool.
Keena had thought mid-fifties and no sun was too cool to get wet, but others didn’t agree. She turned away to continue her trek back to her cabin when a high-pitched, giggling voice became recognizable. “Don’t tease me, Ryan. We’re out here this time of night for one thing, and you know it.”
“Jade,” Keena spat in disgust.
She pivoted to get away from the sound of her laughter and from the images of what they must be up to invading her mind, only to turn her ankle and fall hard on her ass. Keena grunted in pain, and the laughter stopped right away.
“Someone’s peeping at us,” Jade whispered loud enough for Keena to hear. She suspected it was on purpose. The woman probably got off on the thought of being watched.
Keena shot to her feet and bit off the cry of pain from her ankle. She hobbled the best she could away from them, but after a few minutes, with the area growing increasingly darker, she realized that she’d lost the correct direction to go. Worse, she could not see a thing. She stretched her hands out ahead of her, searched the sky for the bright stars she’d been amazed to see her first night, but found they were no help with the clouds thick and the moon hidden.
“Crap!” Keena grumbled. She took one step forward and winced. Her ankle hurt more. She bent over and rubbed it, tears filling her eyes. “Can’t even initiate an affair right. Maybe I’m hopeless.”
“Who are you trying to have an affair with?”
The voice behind her made her shriek and almost fall over again, this time on her face. Ryan’s arms came around her to catch her. To her embarrassment and simultaneous pleasure, she found that her ass was pressed into his thigh, inches below his groin. If the man bent his knees or leaned forward, they’d spoon.
Keena jerked away and faced him. “No one. Uh, I don’t suppose you know which direction my cabin is in?”
He blended with the shadows, but she knew he was there even if she couldn’t hear him, not even his breathing. “Yes, I know. What are you doing out here this time of night?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” She pulled at her damp T-shirt, which was clinging to her ass from his touch. “Oh, never mind. I can tell by the fact that you’re wet and . . . Can you point me in the right direction or not?”
Ryan stepped closer. She felt the heat of his body, and this time, the warmth of his breath on her cheek. She wanted to move away but feared she’d fall over, and he’d be forced to help her again. This time, with her facing him, things would be a lot worse, especially since she hadn’t noticed until now that she had no bra on under the shirt she wore. He couldn’t see that, but he would feel it if his wet skin rubbed against hers and dampened her clothes.
Keena tugged at a braid and then crossed her arms over her chest. Why was she even thinking about that? He’d made his decision about the woman he wanted, and it was for damn sure she wasn’t going to share a man, even if he meant nothing more than a good bump and grind.
When he didn’t answer right away, she started past him just to cry out at putting pressure on her left foot. Without hesitation, he scooped her up in his arms. She gasped. “What are you doing?”
“You’ve hurt yourself, and I’m helping you. Now stop struggling, and I’ll take you to your cabin and then send for the doctor.”
“Are you nuts, Ryan? Put me down. It’s pitch black out here. We’ll fall or, worse, crash into the side of a building.” She shoved at his chest but couldn’t get his thick skull to see reason. What she feared most happened with him holding her too close to his chest. In the chill night air, her nipples hardened, and he couldn’t help but notice with her lining his upper body.
He did not even give her the courtesy of an answer but kept right on trudging through the darkness. Expecting a collision at any moment, Keena stayed stiff in his arms. Yet, she thought that Ryan must have cat eyes because he had no trouble, and soon they passed through the doorway to her cabin. He paused just inside and glanced down at her with raised eyebrows. She’d left a lamp on when she left earlier.
When he didn’t move farther into the cabin, and his gaze lowered to her breasts she’d forgotten to keep covered with her arms, Keena began to struggle in his hold again. “Thanks. You can put me down now.”
Ryan tightened his grip and started for her bedroom. He didn’t release her until he had placed her gently on the bed. Keena scrambled to cover her damp T-shirt with the edge of the blanket beneath her, and Ryan strolled to the foot of the bed with a pillow to prop beneath her foot. His care only served to make her angrier since he’d just finished doing whatever to Jade—or attempting to when Keena interrupted them.
“I’ll be fine. There’s no need for a doctor,” she assured him while looking in the opposite direction from where he stood.
Ryan bent down until his face was level with hers. He turned her head to face him, and although she tried pulling away, it was no use. Their eyes met. Keena drew in a sharp breath, thinking the man could look into her soul with those eyes. And yet . . . she wouldn’t allow herself to believe the pain she also caught a glimpse of in their depths. Men didn’t feel as deeply as women, did they?
What Mirabelle had told her of Ryan’s past came back to mind. She tried to imagine the hurt he must have suffered when his wife rejected him for whatever reason she found to do it. Could that experience have made him withdraw behind this cool, calm exterior, or had he always been like he was now? Maybe that’s why she left him, because of his icy personality. Women were known for thinking they could change a man. Mirabelle must have romanticized how hurt Ryan was. Her theory made more sense.
“You’re angry with me,” Ryan announced.
She jerked her chin from between his firm fingers. “I’d have to give a crap about you to feel that at this point.” She yawned, covering her lips. “I’m tired. I think I’ll be fine in the morning.”
Ryan straightened, but didn’t move. He watched her ankle, which made Keena fidget and wince every time she did so. She glanced down at her ankle as well to find that it had swollen to twice its normal size. Crap. The thing was no doubt sprained. With it like that, she couldn’t make Ryan leave he
r alone and forget the doctor.
He turned on his heel and headed for the door. “I’ll be back. Don’t move.”
Like she had anywhere she needed to go. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, but then opened them again when Ryan spoke from the doorway.
“I was there first, by the way.”
She frowned, not getting what he meant.
He explained. “I was in the hot tub first before she decided to join me whether I liked it or not. I do it to unwind when all the guests are asleep. Does that satisfy your anger?”
Keena flared her nostrils and looked away. “It’s none of my business what you cowboys do.”
Ryan made a small noise in his throat she thought might be a snicker, but then he left the cabin. She settled back and closed her eyes. Sleepiness descended when the concoction she’d drunk earlier began to kick in. Despite her wanting to hold on to it, her anger began to melt away. Ryan could be lying, but then if he and Jade had been planning to meet in the hot tub, she wouldn’t have been in the kitchen asking if anyone had seen him, would she?
Keena sighed. The biggest question she should have asked herself was, if she was cut out to keep things impersonal, should Ryan be interested? From the overconfident, knowing look on his face, he knew who she was talking about when he’d caught her considering an affair, and he hadn’t seemed opposed to it either.
Was she crazy? After all, it hadn’t been that long since she and Steven were to have gotten married. Was she over him that quickly? She opened her eyes a second time and rested her hand over her chest. No, the stupid ache lived, but it had dulled since coming to Colorado. No longer did it feel like her mind would tear loose from her head, grow wings, and fly away. That’s how it had been the first few nights, like she was on the verge of insanity.
“No way will I let a man make me feel that much in love with him, that I think I’m better off dead or that I’m about to lose my mind from losing him.” That’s why I need an affair. Something meaningless with no chance of falling for the guy. Ryan couldn’t make her feel something him. Well, unless he carried her around and treated her like a delicate flower. This situation was special and wouldn’t be repeated.
Rein in the Night Page 4
