“He wanted to marry Jessie for the farm?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. You played right into his hands.”
Jared continued to speak, but she didn’t hear a word. Out of all the chaotic thoughts, only one thing was clear to Olivia. Jared had never lied to her.
Later Drew walked into the house and found the kitchen cluttered with pots and pans. Immediately he knew something was up with Olivia. In the short time they’d been married, he’d learned one thing about his bride. Strong emotion fired her creative culinary talents.
Whenever she was glad or mad or sad, she cooked.
Drew looked at a bag of flour spilling its contents onto the kitchen counter and wondered which mood Olivia was expressing now. He greeted her with a wary smile.
She looked pale and hollow-eyed. She was adding cubed butternut squash to a casserole dish.
“Jared’s here,” she announced in a tight voice.
Her tone said it all. Drew was in trouble.
A cold feeling of dread swept over him. “I saw his car when I passed his house. What’s up?” The words were a deliberate attempt to sound casual, but Drew couldn’t summon a smile.
“He’s only going to be in town for a few days. He was here earlier.” She added corn syrup and pecans to the mix. “He was exhausted after the long drive. He went home, but he promised to come for breakfast in the morning.”
Drew was grateful for the delay in facing Jared. Hopefully, that would give him time for a little damage control.
He leaned against the counter. “I thought he wasn’t due for another few weeks. Why the change in plans?”
Turning to him, Olivia wiped her hands on a towel. “He heard about the accident and was concerned.”
“The accident happened more than a week ago,” Drew said with cool smile. “It’s old news.”
“Yes, well, he wanted to come sooner, but this was the earliest he could get away. He has to get back to the university by the middle of next week.”
“So he just came by to check up on your health?”
“And yours,” she inserted. “He’s concerned.”
Drew said in disbelief. “Is that why you’re upset?”
With a shrug, she turned, back to the squash. “I’m not upset,” she said in a very small voice. “Anyway, I’d rather not discuss it.”
She tossed an apple into the blender and flipped the switch to the “on” position. The grinding noise effectively cut off conversation—but not for long.
Drew reached around and flipped it off. “Damn it! Look at me! What else did he say?”
She spun around. “I think you know.”
The shimmering brightness of unshed tears swimming in her gray eyes almost undid Drew. But there could be no more evasions. He’d always known the day of reckoning would come. He’d just hoped for more time. Now time had run out. With a deep sigh, he placed a hand on either side of her waist, trapping her so she couldn’t escape.
“No more evasions.” He spoke directly. “I gather all this has something to do with me. Something unflattering, no doubt.”
Like a dam breaking, the words rushed out of her. “It’s not just about you. It’s about you and my sister, Jessie.”
With a flinch that betrayed his guilt, Drew took the blow. He forced himself to ask, “Exactly what did he say?”
She searched his eyes. He wondered if she could see to the depths of his soul. “He said you wanted to marry Jessie at one time.”
He tried to explain. “We weren’t that involved. Most of the time, she wouldn’t even speak to me. That’s about it.”
“Oh, God.” She rubbed a hand across her brow.
Drew asked, “What else did Jared say?”
“Isn’t that enough?” Faced with the awful facts, Olivia obviously wanted him to deny Jared’s accusations.
He didn’t even try. “I imagine there’s more.”
They stood close. He felt her breasts rise and fall against his chest as she said, “He also said you wanted to marry Jessie for the timber rights to Stone’s End—that you’d do anything to get your hands on them.”
Drew said quietly, “And you believed him?”
She hesitated a long moment, then whispered, “If it’s not true, then tell me it’s a lie.”
She’d obviously made her choice.
“I can’t,” he admitted, and watched her face close up, like a delicate blossom out of the sun’s rays. To his shame, he’d gone along with Ira’s plans. He gave her a moment to digest his admission. “But I’m not that same man.” He ground the words out. “And aren’t you forgetting one small fact? You proposed to me, remember?”
She shook her head, obviously trying to deny him. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Jessie?”
“I tried—almost from the very beginning. You said nothing would change your mind about me. You don’t know how many times I came so close to telling you.”
Her shuttered face told Drew all he needed to know.
“I wish you had,” she whispered.
“So do I.”
Later in bed, Olivia whispered, “Good night.”
Drew felt her coldness. He stared into the darkness and felt it closing in on him. Surely there was some solution, some explanation to make all this go away. “We should talk.”
With a note of desperation breaking in her voice, she whispered back, “Please, not now.”
He died a little inside when she turned away.
Her reaction simply reinforced his general impression. He suspected that only Olivia’s pride and her stubborn refusal to admit she’d made a mistake was preventing her from throwing him out and ending their brief marriage. She’d let him stay, refusing to admit failure, which was just like her.
Drew ought to be grateful, but he wasn’t. He felt betrayed. Their entire marriage was built on a weak foundation. Love had been a possibility, never a reality with any substance.
Once the flaws were exposed, their relationship would only continue to erode until there was nothing left.
She was all shiny and new, and he was all used up—five years of his life spent locked away. Loving Olivia had meant risking both his heart and his pride when he had so little left of both. He’d gambled on love and lost.
The following morning, the emotional storm swirled around them. Drew could feel it pulling them apart. Olivia was a pale reflection of the radiant woman he’d married.
Breakfast was strained. Jared and Olivia hardly said a word beyond, “Please pass the toast,” and, “Thank you.”
Drew said nothing at all. He felt like the unwelcome guest at a funeral. Clearly he was the outsider. He didn’t belong at Stone’s End.
Jared finally addressed him with a terse, “Drew, it’s been a while.”
“Olivia tells me that you and Rachel have quite a family.”
Despite his obvious impatience with the entire situation, Jared smiled. “They’re great.”
“I never pictured you with a brood of kids.”
“Goes to show how some things can change. And some things don’t.” The jab was indirect.
Nevertheless, Drew felt it. “But you don’t think I’ve changed, is that it?”
“That’s it.”
Drew couldn’t avoid the challenge. “I know your opinion of me is pretty low at this point, and maybe I earned that in the past. But I think I can make Olivia happy.”
Jared snapped. “How long do you think that will last?”
Drew waited for Olivia to rise to his defense.
Instead, she stood up and silenced them both with a few heated words. “Please, just stop it! I don’t want to discuss this again. We’ve been over and over it. I married Drew, and that’s all there is to it.”
Somehow Drew didn’t feel that was much of an endorsement.
Olivia and her brother were barely speaking, and Drew could see that it was eating her up inside. After destroying his own family, he couldn’t bear to stand back and watch the same thing happen to the Ca
rlisles. No matter how he tried to avoid the truth, he knew he was single-handedly destroying the one thing Olivia cared about most—her family.
Drew would only hurt her by staying.
Clearly, Olivia couldn’t make the choice, so Drew made it for her. There was only one solution. He had to leave.
Far better to make a clean break. There was no point in dragging things out.
He left without finishing his breakfast.
After Drew left, Olivia stared at his empty chair, the cold remnants of a ham-and-cheese omelet on his plate. She’d made poppy-seed muffins—which he hadn’t touched. In times of stress, cooking always calmed her, but today it did nothing to soothe the ache in her heart. She felt cold, and wondered if she’d ever feel warm again.
So it was true.
According to Jared, Drew had taken advantage of her innocence and her family’s absence to secure his long-held ambition. And Olivia had handed Stone’s End to him on a silver platter—along with herself, body and soul. She couldn’t bear to think of that just now. There would be time for tears later.
She’d prayed that Jared was wrong, that Drew would have a reasonable explanation. But he hadn’t even tried to defend himself against her brother’s accusations.
He hadn’t kissed her before he left.
She wanted to run after him, but the weight of all her insecurities kept her there. She’d fallen for the oldest con game in the book. She’d almost believed in love.
In one way or another, life had taught Olivia some pretty tough lessons. Well, here was one more to add to the list. How could she have trusted Drew? He’d wanted the farm, not her. He’d never denied his willingness to go to any lengths to get Stone’s End—including marrying Jessie—or her.
Apparently any old Carlisle would do.
Olivia’s heart turned cold.
How could she have fooled herself into thinking Drew could love her for herself?
Oh, she’d thought she was immune to men and the sweet lies they told. But it seemed she’d inherited her mother’s weakness, after all. She’d put all her faith in Drew, and he’d betrayed her. Olivia smiled sadly.
Why did she marry him so blindly? Why was she so impulsive? In the end, she had only herself to blame; Drew had tried to warn her. All the signs were there, but she’d refused to read them. From the first, Drew had wanted Stone’s End, not her. She’d proposed marriage and gotten exactly what she wanted.
Why was she so hurt?
At the sawmill, Drew wasted no time taking care of unfinished business and cleaning out some items from his desk.
Abby watched in total dismay. “You can’t just leave.”
His smile twisted. “Abby, this has nothing to do with you. But you were absolutely right. I made a mistake marrying Olivia. I’m merely trying to make repairs.” He’d always taken what he wanted in life without counting the cost to anyone—even himself. This time, he couldn’t do it. Olivia’s happiness came first.
“I don’t want to be right,” she said, revealing her deep concern and frustration with the situation. “I want you to stay. You know you love Olivia. She loves you.”
He opened a small safe and took out an envelope, then handed it to Abby. “She loves her family more.”
Abby stared down at the envelope. “What’s this?”
“The deeds to the sawmill and Stone’s End. I want Olivia to have it all.” Things at the sawmill were going smoothly. No one really needed him.
“Aren’t you going to tell her?”
“I included a note. She’ll understand.”
He hoped she’d understand that it was best this way. If he saw her again, he might weaken. She’d only try to stop him from doing what they both knew he had to do—walk away from her and Henderson. He never should have come back, never should have stayed. He’d been looking for something or someone, trying to piece the fragments of his life together. It was just Olivia’s bad luck that they’d run into each other.
For a brief time, he’d thought he’d found all the missing parts, a future with Olivia, but he’d been proved wrong. He had only himself to blame for expecting too much. In the end, Olivia’s faith in him was tested to the breaking point.
And it broke.
The conflict would inevitably destroy the family she’d found so late and loved so deeply. Drew had to leave and give her the deed to both properties. It was the first unselfish act in his life. That was how much he loved Olivia. Better to cut his losses now. There were other towns, other jobs—one was just the same as the next. But none of them had Olivia.
Abby said quietly, “Please don’t do this.”
Drew took a deep breath. “I’ll be in touch as soon as I know where I’m going.” He smiled wryly at the words. So much for the new stable image. “Can you see that Olivia gets my message after I’m gone?”
Although visibly upset, Abby agreed.
An hour later, Drew wasn’t surprised when Abby wasn’t around to say goodbye. In fact, he was relieved. The last thing he wanted was a protracted, emotional farewell.
He’d written Olivia a note, telling her he was sorry.
That was it.
What more could he say? That his heart was ripped in two, that he was leaving it behind, that he’d never feel whole again without her? Of course, he couldn’t say any of those things.
So he walked out, taking only what he’d come with, which was nothing. He’d come to Olivia empty-handed with nothing to offer but his heart. It was in her keeping for as long as she wanted it. He didn’t need it anymore.
Olivia was filling some Christmas orders when her sister-in-law arrived. Abby hesitated when she saw the full house.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Not at all,” Olivia assured her. “Please come in. Rita and I were just boxing up these rugs. We could use a break.”
Abby greeted Jared with some reservation. She warmed up a bit and smiled at Rita Morales. “Hello again.” And Fred earned an even warmer, “It’s good to see you.”
When Olivia offered to make a pot of fresh coffee, Abby said, “Oh, please don’t. I can’t stay long. If you have a few minutes, I was hoping to talk to you.”
No one took the obvious hint to give them some privacy.
Fred said, “That’s okay, we’re all family.”
The words startled Olivia. She looked around and realized this was her family—Jared had come all the way from New York because he was worried about her, Fred and Rita were showing their support, and Abby was interfering because she genuinely cared. Olivia didn’t have to face this crisis alone.
Why had it taken her so long to see that truth?
Independent and wary of close family ties, she’d found it hard to fit into the Carlisle family. Ira had accepted her without question. Jared and Jessie were as close to her as a brother and sister could possibly be.
They’d all tried to bring Olivia into the family circle; but their memories weren’t hers. And nothing could ever change the years they’d spent apart. Or give her a sense of a complete family. She’d nursed the wounds too long. It was time to let go and move on.
To come inside her family’s circle.
“Fred’s right,” Olivia said, shaping the words as they settled in her heart. “We’re all family.”
Abby’s eyes were still troubled. “I’m not sure I should be doing this, but I had to come.” That said, she continued with more determination, “Drew asked me to wait and give you this after he left. But I decided it couldn’t wait.” She held out a large envelope and a smaller one.
Olivia took the small one first. “What do you mean?”
Abby said, “I’m sorry he didn’t tell you himself. All Drew ever wanted was you. He’s given up everything, rather than cause more division between you and your family. Do you know how lucky you are to be loved like that?”
Jared defended his sister. “Now wait a minute. Olivia isn’t responsible for Drew’s decision.”
“I tried to talk him out of it, b
ut he insisted his way was best. He left you the deeds to everything.” Some of Abby’s bitterness spilled out. “Isn’t that why you married Drew in the first place? To get Stone’s End?”
Olivia found the words. “No, of course not.”
Feeling remote, surrounded by friends and family, she opened Drew’s letter and read the words scrawled in black across the crisp white paper.
In time, I hope you’ll understand why I had to leave. It’s for the best. The only thing I regret is never telling you that I loved you.
Drew
Was this how they would end?
Had all the promises come to this?
Olivia recalled the early days when they’d first met. They’d walked by a lake, and anything had seemed possible. The sky was blue, the sun golden, the leaves brilliant, gaudy and beautiful…and then, they were gone. Like love. Hadn’t Olivia always known it could be given away or stolen in one reckless moment? She’d given Drew her love—as fragile as an autumn leaf clinging to a tree. One gust of harsh reality had blown it away.
Olivia stared at his bold signature at the bottom of the farewell note. She reread it, until the words were etched on her soul like ice crystals—cold and hard and transparent.
But he’d written that he loved her.
Past tense?
Had she destroyed it?
Chapter Sixteen
Crushing the note in her hand, Olivia looked out the window at the rolling fields and gentle hills surrounding Stone’s End—this place that connected her to her family and gave her the roots she’d longed for all her life, this place that seemed so foreign at first. This place called home.
She’d learned to love everything and everyone here. She’d sacrificed her pride to own it.
Had she sacrificed love, as well?
Her eyes filmed with unshed tears. Through them, she saw the newly planted rows of spruce trees—seedlings that would one day grow into a renewable resource for Stone’s End, enabling her to have her dream. A tear fell. Drew had given her that dream. If she needed proof of his love, there it was.
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