This Love of Mine

by Miranda Liasson

  “For what?”

  “For dropping everything. Sam’s my baby sister. We’re pretty tight.”

  Meg smiled and took a sip of the gross-looking stuff. “Is that like saying you’re her favorite brother?”

  He shrugged. “Draw your own conclusions.”

  “Well then, you should know she doesn’t want the family to know she’s here. Can you respect that?”

  His turn to let out a breath. “It’ll be better for Brad’s digestion if he doesn’t know. But I don’t like keeping secrets. Plus, that kid’s bad news.”

  “Probably. But he’s also alone.”

  “What other dirt did you dig up?”

  Meg took a sip of coffee and tried not to make a face. “Well, I learned Sam’s stubborn, like all Rushfords. Independent minded. And super concerned about doing the right thing for her family.”

  “She still feels bad about the bit of drama she caused last summer after Kevin died,” Ben said. He looked down at a plastic bag Meg was carrying. “Is there food in there?”

  “Sandwiches.” She held out the bag while he dug in and grabbed a paper-wrapped sub. “By drama, do you mean changing her major, breaking up with this guy?” Meg asked.

  “All teenage stuff. She’s doing better this year.”

  “Forgive me for prying, but she worries me a little.”

  “You? Pry? What a shocker.” He unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. Turkey. His favorite.

  “After Patrick died, in some ways I felt like I had to be the perfect kid. I didn’t want to create any more tension in the family or cause any more pain. So I made my behavior . . . safe. Less risky. I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

  “Well, it’ll be interesting to meet this Harris kid. But from all she’s told us about his background and education, maybe less risky is good, you know?”

  Ben’s pager beeped. He unclipped it from his scrubs and read the display. “Break’s over. Another trauma’s coming in.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t know how you do it, being on the line between life and death all day.”

  “It does have its stresses. But when you help someone, it’s the best feeling ever. I guess that’s what keeps me going.” He looked down at her coffee. “Speaking of keeping me going, that’s just what I need for another couple of hours.”

  She held out the thick, sharp-smelling liquid. “It’s dark and strong and stale. Help yourself.”

  He thanked her for the sandwich and said he had to go. As he took the cup, their hands touched, setting off a flurry of feelings—a heady mix of excitement, desire, and the much more scary feeling of wanting to stay and continue talking, to get to know her better. Things that tended to scare the shit out of him as far as women were concerned.

  He took a swig of the concoction and made a face. Surely the bitter liquid would knock any of those unwanted feelings right out of his system. “Perfect,” he said, fighting the urge to choke.

  But he really wasn’t talking about the coffee. Which made him worry that being with her at camp for an entire weekend wasn’t such a great idea after all.

  CHAPTER 10

  “I just don’t understand why you’ve got to help out at the camp this weekend. You’ll miss visiting with your sister,” Meg’s mother said from the chair she’d pulled up to the kitchen table where she was clipping coupons.

  “I’m sorry, Mom, but I promised.” Meg sipped at the French vanilla tea her mom had handed her, trying to make small talk and not glance at the wall clock while she waited for her sister to come down from upstairs. It was nearly five o’clock, and she was lucky to have left the shop when she did, despite all the loose ends she’d left behind. Especially since she’d spent half the afternoon at the hospital with Sam. She’d have to race through telling Sheri about her mom’s routine so she would have time to run back to her apartment, where she’d told Ben to meet her.

  She punched a text to Ben into her phone: At my mom’s. Running late. Be there by 5:15 latest. Okay?

  Because it would be mortifying to have him pick her up here.

  “Sheri! I’ve got to get going!” Meg yelled in the direction of the stairs. Like she had two other times already.

  “You do too much charity work and I worry about you,” her mom said, “especially with Alex gone. Why can’t you just stay here and relax?”

  “I think camp will be relaxing.” Actually, stressful and tense were the first adjectives that came to mind. Her pulse kicked up and her stomach started doing acrobatics just thinking about it. In truth, she knew very little about what she’d be called on to do. Survival training came to mind but that sounded nonthreatening compared to dancing, eating seafood, and worse, being near Ben all weekend.

  But just in case, she made sure that this time she brought stretchy clothes with lots of give.

  Her mother put down the scissors to rest her hands and sighed. “Besides, I thought we girls could spend some quality time together. Go shopping, have lunch. You know, like the old days.”

  Meg’s stomach felt hollow, and it was from more than lack of food. Shopping with her sister was painful because she was constantly trying to update Meg’s clothing. Her sister was what Meg privately called a noisy vegan, constantly questioning ingredients in dishes—someone who couldn’t even order a glass of wine without an inquisition about whether or not the clarifier was made from animal protein.

  “Mom, she only lives in Greenwich. We should plan a weekend. Maybe we can stay overnight somewhere fun and shop.”

  A strange expression passed over her mother’s face. Maybe disappointment that her daughters didn’t gel like they did when Meg was two and Sheri was four. Or during those years when Meg admired everything her older sister did. When Sheri always had her back.

  That was a long time ago, and lots had changed since then.

  Her sister walked into the butter-yellow kitchen holding a gray tabby cat at arm’s length. “Sparkles here, or is this Fred”—she lifted the cat in the air and stole a quick glance at its underbelly—“just coughed up a hairball right near my bed. Honestly, Meg, I don’t think these animals are good for mom’s health.” She said it as if their mother were not sitting three feet away listening to every word. Sheri let the cat down and opened the fridge. Her eyes flicked around critically for a minute before she held up the coffee creamer. “And you shouldn’t be drinking this junk, Mom, it’s all fake. The only stuff that’s marginally fit to eat in here is leftover pizza and that’s a sodium nightmare.”

  “Don’t you dare touch my hazelnut coffee creamer and I love cold pizza,” Meg’s mother said, sending Meg a wink. “And the kitties are great for my health. They soothe my nerves.”

  “Well, they grate on mine,” Sheri said. “They even slept on my feet all night, and when I woke up, the fat one was curled around my head.”

  “Some people would think that’s positively adorable.” Meg bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. She took her teacup to the sink and rinsed it. Under her breath she muttered, “Normal people, that is.” To her sister, she said. “Would you help me load my car?”

  “What, do you have, like, a heavy suitcase or something? I thought you were just going for the weekend.”

  Meg tipped her head toward the door. Hello, Earth to Sheri. She had to tell her a couple things that she didn’t want her mom to hear. But her sister wasn’t getting it.

  Sheri sneezed. “Those damn cats. I need more allergy medicine from the pharmacy.”

  “Maybe you can pick up mom’s prescription while you’re there?” Meg smiled sweetly. Suddenly, an entire weekend away was looking better than a tropical vacation. Like a very rare kind of freedom.

  Sparkles jumped into her mother’s lap. Her mom started crooning to it and it began purring loudly. The second cat, an orange striped male, parked himself at her mother’s feet and began crying loudly for attention.

  “Just like those two sisters, aren’t you?” her mom said, making sure to pet both
at the same time.

  As her mother tended the cats, Sheri pulled Meg into the small living room. “I want to discuss Mom’s care with you. I don’t think she’s eating well and the yard’s a wreck.”

  The familiar tension she always felt with her sister lay as thick around them as a blanket of fog. Meg tried not to roll her eyes. “She’s eating fine. I’ve just had a busy week and we ordered out last night. When I get back on Sunday, I’ll cook a great dinner, I promise. And the lawn is cut, it’s just the back garden that’s a mess. But you’re welcome to pull a few weeds while you’re here.”

  “I just hate seeing it like that. Remember when her garden was the street’s pride and joy?”

  Yeah. And remember when we were a whole family with a father and a brother who still had an entire life full of potential ahead of him?

  Truth be told, Meg hated seeing the garden like that, too. Maybe she should be spending time working on that instead of living out a ridiculous Cinderella fantasy that was going to end all too soon.

  “And the bathroom showerhead is leaking.”

  “Plumber’s coming next week,” Meg said. Maybe she didn’t have the time to haul wheelbarrows full of dirt but she could pick up a phone. Ha. Score one for her.

  “Why did you say you’re going to camp, again?”

  A rope of guilt snaked its way through her stomach and pulled tight. “I told you, it’s for charity. I appreciate your staying with Mom this weekend.” She cast an anxious glance out the window. She had to say her good-byes and get the sam-hell out before real disaster struck.

  “You look a little dressed up for camp work.”

  She was not that dressed up. She had on khaki shorts and new hiking boots, with socks peeking out of the tops just for fun. And a white blouse and a scarf that looped loosely around her neck, and she’d pulled her hair back in a messy bun. The ensemble had Alex’s stamp of approval for being casual but not over-the-top-trying-too-hard.

  “I just wanted to tell you a few things and then I’ve got to get going.” Meg pulled a piece of notebook paper folded in four out of her purse.

  Her sister’s brow shot up. “Wow, that’s quite a list there, chickie.”

  “I just didn’t want to forget anything,” she said defensively. “Help Mom off with her clothes in the morning before she gets her shower. She’s too proud to ask for help but she’s really super stiff in the mornings. I also try to at least start the coffee until her joints loosen up, but she generally fixes breakfast herself.

  “Unhook her bra for her at night. And she’s been wanting to walk the new trail around the lake, so if the weather’s nice, you might consider doing that for fun. There’s just that one prescription that I didn’t have time to get, and the pharmacy closes at six tonight.”

  “Fine. I’ll run out and get it. Anything else?”

  Meg usually cleaned the house on Saturday mornings but she didn’t want to ask Sheri to do that. She’d just take care of it on Monday. “I’ll be back midafternoon on Sunday. Will you still be here? Maybe we could all have dinner together.”

  “I’ve got to get back. Pete will be exhausted from the kids by then. But maybe another time.”

  “Okay. Well, I’ve got to run back to my apartment. See you soon? Maybe you can come next weekend for the bridal show? It’s outdoors, on the dock, and there’ll be great food and music. It’s going to be really fun.”

  “I’ll see what I can d—” Her sister broke off to stare out the window. “What the hell is he doing parking in front of our house?”

  Meg spun around to see a maroon convertible Mustang with a snazzy white racing stripe—with the top down—roll to a stop in front of the tiny yard. Ben opened the door and got out, wearing Aviator sunglasses, a polo shirt, and jeans that showed off his tall lean form. Altogether, he displayed the jaw-dropping good looks of a model in a Ralph Lauren ad.

  “Well, got to go,” she said, hugging her sister and running into the kitchen to peck her mom on the cheek. Too late. Her mom was halfway to the foyer, alerted by her sister’s exclamation. “Bye, Mom, see you Sunday.”

  “Him of all people? Oh, Meg.” Her sister used her best I’m-so-disappointed-in-you voice.

  “It’s not what you think.” She sent a pleading glance in her sister’s direction. Not now, please not now.

  “Mom,” Sheri said with the cruel expression of a tattletale imprinted all over her pretty face, “Ben Rushford is walking up our driveway.”

  Meg cursed under her breath. Her mom’s face went as pale as one of Teddy’s powdered sugar donuts. She hadn’t gotten down and dirty with her sister since they were preteens but rolling around on the floor and yanking on her hair suddenly seemed necessary and appropriate.

  “He—he’s giving me a ride. Talk to you later!”

  She hadn’t taken more than two strides to the door when the doorbell rang.

  Her mom leaned on her cane. “What on earth is going on here?”

  Meg tossed up her arms in a gesture of supplication. “Fine. I’m driving with Ben to camp. We’re doing charity work. End of story.”

  Her sister bolted for the door, but Meg grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “I want you—both of you—to be civil. Is that clear?”

  “There’s no reason for us to be civil,” Sheri said. “He’s got a lot of gall coming up to the house like that.”

  “Sheri, I swear. He’s not a wild teenager any more. He’s a doctor for God’s sake. And a damn good one.”

  Her sister held up both hands in defense. “Hit a nerve there, I see.”

  Meg stared at Sheri, her pretty frosted blonde hair, her petite figure, her cute little nose surrounded by freckles. Meg remembered a time when she was the only girl in the world to beg and pray for freckles solely because her sister had them.

  But her sister was probably the biggest pain in the ass she’d ever met. “Move away from the door,” Meg said. She grabbed her tie-dye overnight bag from the floor, a remnant of more fashion-challenged days, and stepped forward.

  “You’re not dating him, are you?” Sheri paused to let that sink in. “Because he doesn’t strike me as the type who’d be into you.”

  Ouch, that hurt. Although it shouldn’t have, because Meg had been telling herself that for years. Only recently had she dared to think otherwise.

  Except now she felt like a fool. Poor Meg, with the sad, sad crush. Who just couldn’t get a clue.

  “Why don’t you invite him in for a chat?” Sheri was in full mean-tease mode, every comment more obnoxious than the last.

  “Stop it,” she whispered. “You’ll upset Mom.”

  Meg glanced at her mother, who stood there with a blank look on her face. Sheri took advantage of Meg’s diverted attention by reaching the doorknob first and yanking it open.

  “Why, Ben Rushford,” Sheri said with a crocodile smile. “Long time no see.”

  Much to Meg’s relief, Ben looked as unbothered as the sunbathing cat on the window seat. He pulled off his sunglasses and nodded politely, his gaze grazing over Sheri and coming to settle on her.

  “Hi, Meg.” That silky smooth sound of her name on his lips made her breath hitch. A blatant blush crept uncontrollably up her neck. His look seemed to say that that even though the situation was awkward, it was going to be okay. She felt his subtle reassurance as a corner of his mouth tipped up in a barely detectable smile that made her forget her unease for just a moment. And while she regretted having put him in this predicament, it spoke volumes that he had bothered to come to the door—for her.

  “Please come in,” Meg said, stepping forward to greet him. She wanted desperately to grab him and run before irreparable damage was done, but there was nothing she could do.

  Ben stepped forward out of the small foyer to stand before Meg’s mom, who eyed him suspiciously. Meg saw him briefly scan the staircase wall covered with photos and alight on a framed portrait of a dark haired, blue-eyed boy, smiling innocently at the camera with absolutely no thought of the fate that
lay ahead of him. Patrick’s graduation photo.

  Ben’s face blanched. But if there was pain in his eyes, it was gone in a blink. He started to extend his hand, but when it was clear Meg’s mother wouldn’t reciprocate the handshake, he backed off. “Sheri. Mrs. Halloran. Good to see you both.”

  Awkward silence pressed down like a dead weight on Meg’s chest. Her mother’s behavior horrified her. But maybe it was just the shock of seeing Ben after all these years. Perhaps Meg could say something to make them both see what a great man he’d turned into, how he’d left his other life behind. Because ten years was more than long enough for the silent treatment and holding grudges.

  “Ben’s applying for the Emergency Medicine job at the hospital,” Meg said.

  “How nice,” Sheri said dryly. Even worse, her mother said nothing at all.

  “Well,” Meg said. “We’ve got to hit the road.” She grabbed Ben’s arm and headed to the door.

  Sheri pulled Meg back enough for Meg to catch her tersely whispered warning. “Be careful.”

  “Hope I see you Sunday,” Meg said cheerily. She looked over at her mother. “Bye, Mom. Have a nice weekend, you two!”

  A minute later, Ben held open the passenger door of his car, allowing Meg to sink onto the soft white leather seats. The outside was as slick and shiny as a water slide and the interior smelled like car wax and dashboard cleaner. The scents and textures were strangely soothing. She hadn’t ridden in this car since high school, but it looked exactly the same. Sharp, edgy, classy. Like its owner.

  Ben slid behind the wheel and started the car, proceeding as if nothing had happened, but Meg stopped him from putting the car in gear by placing a hand on his arm. The fact that it was firmly muscled but warm and soft all at once made her fumble her words a little. “I’m so sorry about that. I was running late at the shop and had to make sure my sister knew about my mom—”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” He didn’t look at her, simply put on his sunglasses and began to drive.

  There was a definite undercurrent of strain under his usually happy-go-lucky demeanor. “I knew it was going to be uncomfortable if you had to come to the house for me,” she continued. “I was trying to get out of there . . .” She had to stop blabbering, but she felt desperate to put them both at ease.